"Daphne, I really wish you could be here to help me decorate the Christmas tree," Niles answered as Daphne opened the box. Inside were all of Niles' "fancy decorations" as Martin had referred to them as quite often.

"Me too, but I still have shopping to do," Daphne said as she picked up her purse. "I have to pick up that new suit for your brother."

"Oh yes, well, I'll see you later my love." Niles kissed his ladyfriend as she left.

Once Daphne had gone, Niles put a CD on - Great Christmas Classical Hits. He walked over towards the boxes. One was marked "tree". Niles had bought this tree a couple of years ago and had decided to put it up by himself this year instead of calling the super. Daphne would be very impressed, he thought.

Niles took the stand out of the box, and dropped it on his foot. Muttering to himself, he went back to the box and got out the instructions. Looking carefully at the instructions, Niles put the stand of the tree by the fire. It would look very cosy there when the fire was lit. Making sure it was a safe distance away, Niles went to get the next bit of the tree.

Coming back, Niles looked again at the stand. It didn't seem right. It wasn't even. Niles adjusted it by a very small angle - about 1 or 2^o - and it seemed better. Niles took the next piece of the tree and slotted it in. It fitted perfectly.

In 10 minutes time the tree was all together. Now it was time to decorate the tree. Daphne would help him decorate the rest of the apartment when she came back, like they'd agreed.

Niles decided to put the tinsel up first. He reached in for the golden tinsel and wrapped it around the tree. Standing back, Niles decided it didn't look right. Maybe the silver tinsel would look better. So Niles took the golden tinsel off and put the silver tinsel on. But that didn't look right either.

Taking the tinsel off, Niles walked over to his magazine rack and got out Seattle Style magazine. One of his neighbours from 4S had been featured in there recently in the December issue and Niles had liked the look of the decorations in there. Putting the magazine on the table - neatly and right in the centre of course - Niles decided that maybe the silver tinsel would look better.

Niles started to wrap the tinsel around the tree, but when he was half way round he found he couldn't go any further. Looking around, he saw this was because the tinsel had caught on the insides of the tree. And the only way to sort it out was to take the tree apart. Niles didn't really want to do that after all his hard work, so he decided to pull the tinsel and see if that would undo it. He grabbed the tinsel and gave it a heave. The tinsel became undone from the centre of the tree.

Unfortunately Niles fell down and bumped his head on the sofa. He lay on the floor for a few seconds, and then got up and finished putting up the tinsel. Walking back over to the boxes, he decided to put up the lights next. Niles picked up the lights and wrapped them around the tree without a problem.

He put the plug into the socket and the lights came on. Niles stood back to admire his work. He decided to have a drink and went into the kitchen.

After coming back with a glass of sherry (well, it was the season to have sherry, as Brother Reynolds at the wine club had said last week) Niles noticed the lights were off. He checked the plug after putting the sherry down, and found it was switched on. Must be a dead bulb in there.

Niles began checking every bulb on the tree, and found the dead one. He felt very pleased with himself for doing this himself rather than getting someone else - the super, Frasier, Dad etc - to do it for him. Niles went upstairs into his bedroom. Somewhere under his bed was that tool kit Dad had given him as a joke last year (Niles had given Martin an opera CD as a joke. Frasier had suggested everyone by everyone else a "jokey" present last year for a laugh.). Niles had never used it, but now he'd have to. He quickly found it and went back to his tree.

Niles got his tools out and went to the defected bulb. Then he remembered the bulb was blue, and he had a green one in his hands. But which blue one was it? Niles couldn't remember, so he decided to do something which always worked.

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo." - the first words he'd said since Daphne had left earlier.

On "mo" Niles inspected the bulb. It suddenly gave off a small spark - wrong bulb. This made Niles jump backwards a bit - and trip over his shoelaces. He fell backwards onto his sofa, knocking over his sherry and causing it to stain over the sofa.

When Daphne came home later Niles managed to sort out the bulb and had put the baubles on the tree. Then he and Daphne set to work decorating the rest of the house.

-----

"OK Norm, I'll speak to you soon. Bye," and Frasier hung up the 'phone. He had the house to himself right now, apart from Eddie. Eddie was staring - but not at Frasier. Under the Christmas tree was Eddie's present, a bone that Martin had bought and wrapped. Eddie knew what it was and sat by the tree staring at it.

The door opened and Martin came in.

"Hi Dad, how'd it go?"

"Great, I got the job of Santa Claus," said Martin. "Starting tonight I'll know what to buy Seattle for Christmas."

"Well, at least you're big enough for Santa," teased Frasier.

The 'phone rang again. "God, I swear I'm on that 'phone all the time," Frasier said as he answered it. "Hello?.....no, there is no Hugh Jass here!".

"I really don't understand it. Just because I'm rather big, and have a white beard, everyone keeps laughing and saying 'ho, ho, ho'." The caller sounded a bit upset.

"Well, what's today's date?" Frasier asked.

"December 17th."

"That's only 8 days away from Christmas. It's all just a little merriment. I'm sure your friends are just teasing. Have a word with them and tell them how much it bothers you, and if it turns out they were just joking and thought you found it funny too, just laugh with them. After all, 'tis the season to be jolly."

"I'll do that Doc, thanks."

"Good luck.....Chris Cringle. This is Dr Frasier Crane, wishing you good mental health." And Frasier signed off.

"I couldn't believe that was his real name. Parents must have a sad sense of humour," Frasier said to Roz.

Roz rolled her eyelids and smiled. Then she said, "Frasier, I have to dash."

"Oh, meeting a man?"

"No, I'm off to the airport to pick up Rick - he's come to visit Alice for a week. She's really excited about seeing Daddy again. Then we're taking Alice to see Santa at the mall."

"Well, enjoy Roz," said Frasier. "Say hi to Rick for me."

"Look, Alice, there's Santa!" Roz said. "What are you going to ask him for?"

"A pony!" Alice answered.

"Besides that," said Roz.

"Look Alice, let's go see those lights," said Rick. Roz smiled. Alice didn't get to see her dad that often, but she loved him to bits and it always made her smile seeing the two together.

"Hi Roz!"

"Daphne!"

"Seeing Santa?"

"Yep. Listen, what size sweater did you buy Alice?"

"Medium, like you said."

"Good, She's into the pony craze at the moment. She's going to ask Santa for one and all."

"Well, looks like that line's getting bigger. You'd better join it quick."

"Yeah, I'd better. See you later Daphne."

Daphne went into a shop and the Doyles and Rick joined the line. After about 15 minutes they were next. Roz looked at the Santa. There was something very familiar about him, but she couldn't make out what.

"Next please," called out one of the elves. Alice went and sat on Santa's knee.

"Ho, ho, ho, what's your name little girl?" asked Santa.

Roz recognised the voice. Martin?

However Alice recognised him too.

"Uncle Marty!" she cried happily as she grabbed the beard and pulled it off. "Are you Santa Uncle Marty? Are you going to bring me my presents in a chimney?"

Martin looked a bit uncomfortable. "Ur, um...." He looked at Roz and Rick. They were very embarrassed. Then he looked at the other kids in line. Some were in tears.

"That's not Santa!" cried a little boy.

Martin looked over. The manager didn't look very happy.

-----

A few days later Frasier was sitting at the table writing. Daphne entered the room.

"Dr Crane, have you decided what you want for Christmas?"

"Oh Daphne, I'm sorry, but no, not yet."

"Well you'd better hurry up. I've been asking you for months and Christmas is only a few days away."

"I'll let you know Daphne."

"Or else it'll be socks and underwear again. That's what my dad used to buy my brothers if they couldn't decide. Only one year he accidentally gave women's underwear to my brother Billy."

"Really," said Frasier, not that interested.

"Best present dad ever gave him, he didn't take them off for weeks," Daphne continued.

Frasier continued with his writing. He was making sure he hadn't missed anyone out when buying presents. Niles, Dad, Roz, Daphne, Freddie, Lilith, Sam Malone..... the list went on.

But he still couldn't decide what he wanted.

Frasier got up and looked at his wine racks. No, he had enough wine. Plus Niles had bought him a 1993 variety of a French wine. Clothes? No, he had too many already. Antiques? Damn, if only he hadn't bought that vase then Daphne could have bought it for him.

Frasier picked up one of Daphne's catalogues that sold everything. Flicking through it, nothing took his fancy.

"Well Dr Crane?"

"Surprise me Daphne, just surprise me. I really can't decide."

"Very well. Do you prefer green underwear or blue?"

"I'll keep looking," said Frasier as he picked up another catalogue.

-----

On Christmas Day everyone got together at Frasier's.

"Merry Christmas Fras," Martin said as he gave his son his present.

There was a knock at the door. It was Alice and her parents.

"Look what Uncle Marty gave me!" Alice told everyone proudly. It was a cuddly pony.

"She still thinks Santa and Uncle Marty are the same person," Roz explained.

"Unlike those kids at the mall," replied Martin. He and Roz laughed. Martin hadn't blamed anyone for the mall incident - it had made a great story at McGinty's.

"Thank you Dad," said Niles, holding up a DIY kit. "Just what I needed."

"Well, after the tree incident it was no longer a jokey present," laughed Martin.

"And it looks like the tradition continues," replied Frasier as he opened some blue underwear. Daphne could hardly stop herself laughing.

"Merry Christmas everyone," said Frasier as everyone exchanged presents. Daphne had spoken to Niles and they'd decided the wine would be off both of them.

Everyone had a great day. Freddie rang to thank his dad for the new clothes - his new girlfriend would be very impressed. Everyone sang carols and listened to Martin's story of his first Christmas with Hester, Frasier's first Christmas and a tale of what happened when Frasier was 14 and told all the little kids Santa didn't exist. There was dinner as well and a cake for dessert which Roz had made. Even Niles said it was good, and that Roz's cooking was getting better.

That night Niles and Roz had gone home, only Frasier, Martin and Daphne remained and they were getting ready for bed.

"Don't forget to turn the tree lights off," Frasier called to Martin.

"OK Fras," replied Martin. He went to do son, and found Eddie staring at the tree.

"Of course! Come on everyone, Eddie hasn't opened his present yet!"

When everyone was watching, Eddie tore open the paper, picked up the bone and went to Martin. Martin gave him a cuddle.

"Come on, let's go to bed," said Frasier. Eddie dropped the bone at Frasier's feet.

"Aww, that's nice," said Frasier. "Eddie, you're finally realising I'm the master of this house and leader of this 'pack'. You're submitting to me, and I'm happy with that."

"Nah," said Martin. "He wants to play fetch." And sure enough he was right. Frasier threw the bone and off Eddie went.

"Merry Christmas Eddie," Frasier said as he finally went to bed. "Merry Christmas everyone."