How's it going Fellas?
Dysie - Fucked
Brad - fuck off cocksag
Gav - sorry can`t talk, eating

Well just to confirm, is it true, are you guys really splitting up?
Dysie - yes Gav & Brad are just no longer doing it for me so I`ve decided to 
end our relationship.
Brad - fuck off cocksag
Gav - these guys don`t weigh as much as me now. I cant` be seen with them anymore.

Do we have any details as of yet for the final show, a little bird 
told us it might be a bit of a extravaganza?
Dysie - well more like a sextravaganza & if you fucken show up you`ll see what 
I mean.
Brad - do you like prostitutes?
Gav - cum on DOWN.

Tell us about the drummer problems that have plauged CHOKE, were 
there any reasons why, or were they all just cunts (feel free to hang 
shit on any of them)?
Brad - Matt - cruisy as fuck, Lee - great guy, Merim - gargles man chowder like 
it`s Pura Lite Start (fuck you cunt)
Dysie - Maybe they got sick of our extreme hygiene problems or our severe lack 
of maturity. But more than likely it was Brad was trying to engage in red wine 
enema marathons that really scared them. Except Merim who really is a extra 
chromosomed cunt.
Gav - See above.

What would you consider to be some of the highlights of CHOKES 
sparkling career?
Dysie - me fucking Brad`s sister a lot. Oh & Fear Factory gave me a bit of a 
mongrel which I later gave to Brad`s sister up the arse.
Brad - me sprogging on Glenn`s sister`s face. (in the eye. BINGO!!!!!!)
Gav - Mrs Dyson & Mrs Wesson engaged in some hot lesbo action while I gratified 
my self with half a pound of mince, a pair of pliers & a blow torch.

Can you remember your first gig as CHOKE?
Dysie - no, I vomited. 
Gav - yeah I do - we played with indie poofter poster boys `Turnstyle`. True 
story, fucken good night regardless of Turnstyle factor.
Brad - yeah, yeah I do.... Gav & Glenn were rubbing each other up in the Turnstyle 
mosh. They were later found rolling around in the grass with their thumbs up each 
other`s shitters, uttering Turnstyle lyrics too each other.

Tell us about CHOKES best and worst gigs? Highlights?
Gav - worst gig was the river cruise. Picture - Brad dressed in a bikini with 
Dildo utility belt, knocking over sound equipment in a drunken, mincing stupor. I 
was fucken great though.
Brad - Fear Factory to date for best, but we`ll have to wait until August to 
see. But the worst was well, as Gav explained it.
Dysie - I thought all our shows were fucking shit & Gav you can get fucked. 
You were crap & I was great. Go fuck yourself & I`m fucking glad I only have two 
more shows with you, you CUNT of a man.
Gav - I`m gonna break every bone in your body at said shows & not raise a 
sweat.
Brad - Fuck yeah can I help you Gav? But as for you not raising a sweat. Fucken
hell Gav you fat fuck of a cunt, I`ve seen you raise a sweat sitting in a waiting 
bay at Fast Eddy`s, shitlips!
Dysie - Well I`ll aim my shoddy shitter in your general direction before you 
get a chance & give yers both a right spraying.

Is there anything that you had wished you had done while in CHOKE, 
any regrets?
Gav - yeah, leave earlier.
Brad - punch the living fuck out of Merim.
Dysie - not running off with all our band money & fucking heaps of cheap sluts in 
Bali.
Brad - you told us you spent all that all that money getting your shit chute 
packed back in it`s correct working order in a cheap but reputable hospital in 
Cambodia, you lying fuck arse.
Dysie - hey fuckwit, the question was any regrets.

What are some strange/funny stories that you can tell us that have 
come about because of you being in CHOKE? Groupies, security, fans 
etc..?
Gav - we played a gig in Cunderdin (read: Cunteetown) with those mad, merry, 
Madagascan goat herders Erebus & it was an absolute BALLTEARER. Show was OK, but 
post show party action had to be seen to be believed.
Brad - To elaborate, there was sheepchasing down the main street of town, 
high pant dancing (thanks Mercer), copious laughter, hoop smashing, public enemy 
recitals, rock throwing (suck shit Dyson), with Schwartz & Mercer tying for B.O.G. 
All this fuelled by a healthy cocktail of metal, chemicals, free piss & some 
fucking freaky friends.
Dysie - groupies - no, but I`ve always wanted to fuck Nina. Security - no. Fans -  
fucking wasted a lot of money over the years haven`t they? Fucking dickheads. 
Except James, cos he`s a tightarse wog cunt.

What happened with the recording of AC/DC's dirty deeds? Was it ever 
recorded? Are there any plans to release posthumously newer CHOKE 
material that was to be recorded for 'Greatest Clits Vol 1'? 
Dysie - no, Greatest Clits was only going to be a joke anyway to fuck yers all 
over with & waste some more money.
Gav - AC/DC once opened a gig for us. They were great blokes - I think they`ll 
go a long way. 
Brad -  yeah, fucken great band. Big things coming their way for sure.
Gav - Oh Brad, forgot to tell you Angus rang the other day & asked for his 
buttplug back.
Dysie - Dirty Deeds was recorded, but never released due to us opening our 
big mouths. The label guy & his sidekick/ arseclown mate were a pair of greedy 
hacks. 

What was it like supporting a mintox METAL band such as Australia's 
own BLOOD DUSTER? Where they good blokes and did  they catch your 
set?
Brad - what do you reckon fuckhead!!
Dysie - the gig was rad, they were rad & I got shitfaced which was rad too. & 
yes they caught our set - I think PC filmed part of it so I got my tits out & 
tried to lick my own nipple. Neat.
Gav - i was fixated on Glenn`s ample boozies so I gave them a tweak. Easy to 
spot as they were hanging around his knees.
Brad - i just wanted to hot dog them. They enticed me under the hot, hot 
stagelight. Swell.

With the the break up of CHOKE what bands do you see that can 'step 
up' into the next level and be a defining force in Perths METAL 
scene?
Dysie - none,  they are all fucked. 
Brad - I reckon Pagan, if only Griff will leave that grubby day job of selling 
his arse on the mean streets of Jakarta in between his rickshaw taxi shifts, to 
feed his daily nasi goreng habit.
Dysie - Wesson, you`re a fuckwit.
Gav - Dethlahem are a Grammy prospect for sure. They ooze that bogan, 
winny reds in the shirt sleeve foothill class, that X factor that every band wants to 
emulate. I also like sticking my dick in a blender.
Brad - fuck, must be a pretty shallow blender Gav.
Dysie - The only prospect Dethlahem have is doing time for crimes against the 
elderly & amputees & hi jacking Rocky Bay Village escapees.
Brad - My mum just sent me some Moccasins. I have a strange urge to move to 
Forrestfield & fuck my cousins.
Dysie - yes Brad. I recommend fucking your relatives. 

Do you think that the Perth METAL scene will survive in the coming 
months years or will everybody sellout and become Linkin Park 
tracksuit rock??
Brad - some bands already have. But fuck `em - shit has a shelf life.
Dysie - the underground will always prevail. Fuck I`m metal. Trends come & go, 
but the true stand the test of time (isn`t that right Nephil - by the way have 
you found your chariot yet?)
Gav - I`m going to put together a traditional/ tracksuit hybrid project under 
the working title `Steel Black Wallet Chain` & the first demo is tentatively 
titled `Dude Where`s My Chariot`.

Are there any Perth bands that you would care to hang shit on?
Brad - No, I love all the bands & think Maximum Perversion are especially dishy. 
(Fuck Dan`s hot)
Dysie - Well, I`d like to hang a shit on Maximum Perversiom ,cos with a name like 
that I`m sure they`d take a big sloppy dump on the chest. 
Gav - I think the Perth original scene is going to go absolutely pear shaped in 
our abscence & implode upon itself, cos we`re the shit. (We were the shit)

Does my arse look fat in this?
Brad - good question, Gav.
Gav - eyes off Brad & stop salivating on my foot, you great big mincing fudge 
packer.
Dysie - yes, you look fucking huge bitch. Lose some weight you disgusting lump.

You mentioned previously that Glenn might be planning a doom/gothic 
style project for the future, is this still a possibility?
Dysie - yes, just so I can fuck some hot Gothic mole & gargle her menstrual 
blood on full moon. Then I will rape her bottom.
Brad - care for a spit roast Glenn?
Dysie - get fucked gay aids cunt.
Gav - yes, well I`d be very depressed if I was Glenn because he thinks every 
shit he has is going to be his last. Gothic music lends itself to huge depressed 
states such as Glenn`s.
Brad - yeah man, is that true that you keep pooing your pants every couple of 
hours?
Dysie - yes & then I smear it on my big tits while your mum sits on my face & 
your aunty chews on my lovestick.

Are there any plans for CHOKE members to continue to play music in 
the Perth scene? we have heard about a possible porn/grind band that Dysie 
might be starting (CUNTSCRAPE), any plans for wallet chains and a 
Limp Bizkit style sellout??
Gav - well with Dyson`s ongoing calcium deficiency & brewers droop syndrome, he`s 
sure to be in a band with the word limp in it.
Brad - nah, my brains a bit dry, unlike Clayton`s greasy mudbutton.
Dysie - yes Cuntscrape will pick-up where Choke has left off, but even more 
depraved. If that is possible. 

Lets say that some youngsters out there become more interested in 
porn type activities due to being 'mind warped' by a CHOKE lyric. 
What are some quintessential porno flicks that you can recommend 
for all us deviants out there?
All - FUCK!!!! Pornos we can recommend, where do we start. Big Breast Lovers, 
Girls Who Suck Cock & Eat Cum, Toilet Tarts, Red Hot Chili Peppar Butt Bangers, 
Heavy Hangers, Feral Fucksluts, Glenn Fuck`s the World, Dyson Does D-cup Delights, 
Tailgunners, Anal Cuties in Chinatown, Anal Siege Anal Urge Anal Thunder - The 
Anal Trilogy, Gushing Orgasms, Penetrations 1 - 10, Brad In The Cornfields, Gav 
In The Fatlane, Maximum Perversion I Luv Poop, Nephil`s Naughty Nana, Bones`s Cott 
Capers, Polly`s Perfect Poops, Doin` Plops, Jesus HP Lovesarse, Clayton`s Tongue, 
Gav Glenn & Your Grandma While Brad Wanks In A Soup Ladel followed by the stunning 
sequel Brad Blows A Goat & Barf`s While Gav & Glenn Still Fuck Your Grandma.........
we could go on & on. Kid`s fucking get some porn into ya & fuck like nasty pigs 
NOW!!!!!!!! Oh but use gladwrap & a lacky band & a tarpaulin if pooing.

Who out of the band has the best Porn collection, and who has the 
weirdest and sickest?
Dysie - ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fuck I luv to wank. My wierdeist porno is this interracial 
midget amputees one called `Armless Short Bitches Who Dig Transexuals`
Brad - can I borrow the Arse Busters trilogy. I`m hangin` for a toss?
Gav - the one`s I borrowed are still stuck on my crank.

Tell us a bit about Firm Meaty Chunks and the future of that? Also 
tell us a little about Dysies 'management' career.
Dysie - get fucked, you jizz face bath junkie. Firm Meaty Chunks will earn me a 
Nobel prize for it`s goodness to humanity & I`m only interested in bands that I can 
rip off.

How would CHOKE 'behave' if they were in the 'Big Brother' house or 
Survivor? Who would be voted off first?
Dysie - I`d fuck Sarah-Marie`s tits for sure & cum down her hungry mouth. Fuckin 
fat tart. It would definitely be an all out fuckfest with tadpoles flying all over 
those girl`s arses.
Brad - gee, well I guess I`d be tonguing for some of Johnny`s manpaste.
Gav - while the one whose hung like a rogue elephant roger`s you senseless 
from behind, eh Brad?
Brad - ahh, yes Gav. I guess I sure do love cum. 

VB or Swan Gold?
Dysie - wanna smack in the head?
Brad - you really are a dopey piece of work. Fuck that VB shit.
Gav - i`m a teetotaller. Drugs & alcohol are bad.
Dysie - faggot.
Gav - arseclown.

Just say each of you guys were sticking an add in the personals, 
what would they say?
Brad - I love to fuck & I`m fucking good at it, so what do you reckon slut?
Gav - Dysie & Brad are hung like light switches, so come to where the flavour 
is baby.
Dysie - if you have a pulse call me.

In the opinions of the remaining band members, who would win out of 
a fight between a scorpion and a stingray and why?
Brad - you`re  pathetic Simon. I guess you were fingering Scott`s arse while 
trying to think of remaining questions, huh?

I'm sure all the female CHOKE groupies want to know how to get one 
of you guys in the sack, any tips for these lovely young ladies. How 
do you woo a fella from CHOKE?
Gav - the way to a man`s heart is through his stomach. Cook me some eggs bitch!!!
Brad - ahh fuck I don`t know. If there is lube, I`m there.
Dysie - well all Nina or Louis had to say was, "Can I eat your gravy with 
a tablespoon" & they`d have me rogering either one of them in the carpark for sure. 
Apart from that a simple `hi` would do & I`d fuck your guts out for hours & then 
do the gentlemanly thing by shoving my warrior into your bunghole & finish off 
by letting you drain my nuts completely dry. Then I`d teabag ya. Louise can I 
hot dog your norks?

Any advice for new Perth METAL bands starting out??
Brad - yeah FUCK OFF!
Gav - Fuck i`m hot.
Dysie - either suck me &/or Guy Bell off & we may give you a guernsey. 

Who's better Pauline Hanson or Jenna Jameson?
Brad - you really are an arseclown aren`t ya.
Gav - Pauline Hanson, cos she owns a food shop & redneck bitches remind me 
of passionate encounters out Forrestfield way.
Dysie - both of them have a fluffy sausage wallet, so who cares.  

Is there anything you want to add or say to all the people out 
there that may be reading this, any last words from CHOKE?
Gav - cheers to Mcdonalds & KFC for the support over the years & for the 
gradual hardening of my arteries. To my brothers in metal, fear not the reaper, as 
the chariot that once was Choke sets off into the sunset & shed no tears, cos 
I hate yerz all & you can all fucking blow me.
Dysie - a quick cheers to anyone who has ever done anything for us & everyone 
who has supported us in anyway. Apart from that support me with Cuntscrape so I 
can make some money out of you lousy fucks. And girls, give me sex.
Brad - To anyone who`s ever bought any of our product, seen us live & most 
importantly gone hard in the pit, thankyou & you`ll never understand the amount of 
fun & extreme joy that you have brought to us over the years. Thanks for 
everything & fuck off.
Dysie - I`m think I`m going to cry.
Gav - No wonder I don`t want to be in a band with youse anymore, you 
menopausal girlies.
Brad - I` think you should leave now Gav, KFC closes soon.
Dysie - yeah girls,  give me some sex. Satisfaction guaranteed. 
All - Seriously - Thanks to everyone. It`s been a great few years.


Cheers Simon.