Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei, as it is I have only seen the anime and not the manga. The fic below is based on what I've seen of the anime and nothing else.

Warning: the following contains homosexual (yaoi) lemons, you have been warned. You must be 17 or older to read. Thank you.


Five Years in Five Days

By: Rina K. Fenderson



Day Three

He set his mind to determine his feelings, but now he had a problem keeping his body in check. Even the briefest touch from Tsuzuki brought Hisoka’s skin to tingle and his mind to wander back to the dream of the night before. Tsuzuki would catch him often times, blushing or turning away suddenly. He though it was rejection, he thought it was Hisoka disgusted by him.

*Far from it,* Hisoka thought to himself, when he noticed the hurt look in Tsuzuki’s violet eyes. Hisoka doubted that Tsuzuki would turn him down if he said he wanted to kiss him or hold him, but he feared...he feared going further. *Tsuzuki would understand, he knows what Muraki did to me, he would know to be considerate of that fact.*

But Tsuzuki had wanted him for a while now, and he’d been so patient up until now. He stepped up his play and flirtation in hopes to have Hisoka, and Hisoka almost felt obliged to give himself to his partner, but fear stopped him. Fear made him blush and turn away, and fear prevented him from urging Tsuzuki on.

"You seem...fidgety today," Tsuzuki commented. Hisoka’s green eyes downcast, finding the blips on the heart monitor beside him entrancing. He was grateful that they weren’t the only ones in the room, but with Watari occupied with readings on Hisoka’s bodychemistry it was almost like being alone with Tsuzuki’s curious gaze and himself half naked. Hisoka’s bare shoulders hunched slightly as he pulled inward, almost away from reality. "I’ve just been thinking."

"What about?"

*You,* Hisoka thought with unspoken humor, then replied softly. "Nothing really." *More like everything...*

"Somebody isn’t speaking the truth." Watari chose that time to chime in, flashing a light into Hisoka’s eyes to check their dilation. Hisoka squinted in surprise at first then followed Watari’s finger as he commanded.

"What are you talking about?" Hisoka asked, slightly nervous by that accusation. The scientist
smiled and motioned to the monitor as he stuffed the pen light back into his lab coat. "Heart monitors are about as good a lie detector as most anything."

Both Hisoka and Tsuzuki looked at the screen to see the blips rising a little bit faster than before. With a snarl of betrayal, Hisoka ripped off the brace around his arm that had been recording his heartbeat and jumped off of the gurney. "Am I done yet?"

"Aa, I suppose," Watari sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. It looked as if he were going to say more, but Hisoka waited no less then three seconds before he walked out of the lab, pulling on his shirt as he walked. Watari tilted his head as the door swung shut after his
leave and spoke before Tsuzuki could follow. "He would have been very handsome, had he been able to grow."

Tsuzuki paused more stiffly than Watari had thought he would. Of course the statement was rather dark, but he hadn’t expected Tsuzuki to tense like a taunt bow. "Aa, it is unfortunate his
death occurred so soon in his life, but even at sixteen he was beautiful and now...he’s still the same, just in a different body."

"I’m not saying the boy is better now, than he was before, but," Watari smiled and nudged
Tsuzuki, who hadn’t turned to look at him yet. The slight push made him glance up at the
blond male, his expression far from the usual cheerfulness Watari was accustom to seeing, still he went on determined to get his point across, "But with age not only does height and build come, but a different mind set as well. New feelings, new... urges."

"Enough with the innuendoes, Watari," Tsuzuki said in a slightly dejected manner. He sighed and looked away his violet eyes dark. "I tried my best to play on Hisoka’s... ‘new urges’, but he isn’t interested. He pulls away from me more quickly than before."

Watari only smiled, before he started to walk back over to his test results. "Perhaps, Tsuzuki,
that isn’t rejection, but uncertainty. I’m sure he feels it; a connection to you, but perhaps he’s frightened." He paused sitting at his computer and trying to concentrate on the screen as he looked up at Tsuzuki and typed simultaneously. "Please consider; when was the last time Bon was intimate with someone...on a high level? His parents? They locked him in a dungeon. Muraki? I would rather not get into that for fear of your anger, but do you see?"

"He’s frightened? Of intimacy?"

"That’s why he shuts himself away from us," Watari replied, then pushed back on the desk, his wheeled chair scooting back so he was at another table, collecting other results to study. "Tsuzuki, you are the only one he has remotely opened up to. If I remember right, he jumped into
the deadly flames of a powerful shikigami to save you. If that doesn’t say ‘I care for you’, I don’t know what does."

Tsuzuki shook his head, trying to sort all this in his mind. "But I love him, as a partner and more, I would never harm him. Why would he scared of me then?"

"Maybe he thinks you’ll hurt him," Watari said softly, putting down the papers he was sorting through. His amber-brown eyes were gentle behind his wire-rimmed glasses. "Just like everyone else that touched his life...but with you...it would hurt so much more, because he trusts you, and he fears that trust. It’s a paradox for him, I think. Just a vicious cycle of fear and pain and betrayal."

"I would never hurt him."

"I believe you," Watari answered, then tilted his head and smiled. "But I’m not the one that needs to believe that."

Tsuzuki remained silent for a few minutes, first looking at Watari then looking out the window and finally to the door, before he glanced back at his blond comrade and nodded. "Thank
you, Watari."

"Hae, hae," Watari replied with a slight wave of his hand, as if motioning for Tsuzuki to leave, which he started to partake in the invitation. "Oi, Tsuzuki..."

"Aa?"

Watari frowned. "You only have a few more days."

"More than enough," Tsuzuki whispered, his hand on the door. "Besides, 16 or 21, I love him all the same."

Watari smiled as he watched Tsuzuki exit. With a wistful sigh, he leaned back in the chair and rested his arms behind his head. "Well, those two have certainly opened each other up. A perfect
match, ne?"

~~*~*~*~~

"Hisoka?" Tsuzuki called through the young man’s apartment door, he rapt lightly against the wood for the fourth time. "Hisoka."

"You’re not going to leave until I let you in, are you?"

Tsuzuki smiled, his shoulder against the door as he knew Hisoka was on the other side leaning against it just as he was. "No, and if you don’t let me in soon I will break the privacy rule and teleport into the room...I need to talk to you, Hisoka."

There was a slight pause, then the sound of shuffling on the other side of the door. The lock snapped over and the door creaked open. Hisoka’s green eyes peered up at him innocently. "What?"

Tsuzuki smiled, still somewhat marveling at how handsome the boy was at twenty-one. He stood only an inch or two below Tsuzuki now, his body lean muscled and lithe. With an inward shake, Tsuzuki banished those thoughts and slipped into the room. Hisoka backed away from the door immediately, watching Tsuzuki nervously with his arms crossed over his chest. His emerald eyes that flickered up to Tsuzuki’s eyes then down his body every few seconds, showed Tsuzuki that much of, if not every word of, Watari’s speech was true. "Why are you frightened of me?"

Hisoka blinked, then shook his head slightly shocked. His own mind wandered, *Perhaps Tsuzuki knows it isn’t rejection.* "I’m not."

Tsuzuki tilted his head, a playful smile on his lips. He reached a hand out and touched his fingers to Hisoka’s cheek, trailing them into his hair, playing with the blond strands. Hisoka
shuddered, fearing what was next and wishing for his dream of last night to occur at the same time. His fear won out as he stepped away, his head turning from Tsuzuki.

"You see?"

"I’m not scared of you."

"Then why won’t you let me near you?" Hisoka’s emerald eyes met amethyst with worry and sadness.
Tsuzuki stepped forward his voice just as soft as his expression and his following touch to Hisoka’s chin. "I’m not going to hurt you, Hisoka. I will *never* hurt you...I love you. You told me I could live to be with you and that is all I want to do...Do you love me? Even in the slightest aspect of friendship?"

Hisoka’s mouth parted, then he wet his lips, his eyes flickering down. "I love you, Tsuzuki...and I want you--"

Tsuzuki leaned forward, mouth inches from Hisoka’s lips. "Then--"

"But..." Hisoka stumbled back, frightened, clamoring into the wall behind him. "But..." Tsuzuki watched him and frowned.

"But your scared...which brings us back to square one."

Hisoka’s head bowed and silence ensued for a good five minutes. Enough that Tsuzuki sighed and
walked into the room sitting on the couch in the den-like room that separated front door from bedroom. He spent a few minutes staring at the gray rug, his hands poised under his chin with his elbows against his knees, then gave up waiting for Hisoka to speak on his own and gazed over at him, not taking his violet eyes off of him for a moment.

This, of course, made Hisoka shift and fidget like Tsuzuki had never seen, but still the boy refused to speak. "You aren’t scared of me. You know I love you and you want me, but you are
scared...do you understand where you have lost me?"

Hisoka leaned back against the wall he had stumbled against earlier and frowned, bringing his
arms around his body. "When someone touches me I...feel...all I can see..."

"Does my mind hurt you, Hisoka?" Tsuzuki asked suddenly, looking slightly concerned. "When I touch you do you feel my pain...I’m so sorry!"

Hisoka paused, the side of his mouth twitching up in a some-what smile, "No, no, Tsuzuki...when you touch me, yes, I feel you, but...its not painful. You block most of that from me. All I feel is gentleness and kindness, but it isn’t my empathy that hurts...it’s the same feeling I have on nights when the moon looks orange...or red." Hisoka looked down, his green eyes shimmering as if he were about to cry. "Every time someone comes close I feel him...I feel what he did to me that...that night...that memory never leaves now."

"Hisoka...," Tsuzuki started, then paused. "What you fear is the past."

Hisoka looked up in surprise of his partner’s bluntness. The taller male was standing from the
couch now, looking as if he were going to start pacing, but he stopped after three steps to his right, closer to Hisoka, and stared at the younger man. "I know how that feels, Hisoka. I know how much it hurts, I know how it feels to hide it, and I know how it feels when it tears to the surface." He walked over to Hisoka, standing a foot in front of him. Hisoka didn’t back away,
although if he had tried he would have hit the wall behind him again.

"I’m not saying we’re the same. I know we aren’t, but maybe that’s how we can get along..." he
shook his head once. "I don’t mean get along with each other, I mean get along through life."

Hisoka gasped as Tsuzuki grabbed his shoulders and pulled him into his arm, holding the young man close against his white shirt. "When I was calling death to me, you called me back. You said I could stay with you. It was you Hisoka. It was you and your sacrifices and warmth that replaced
all the pains of the past. It was your image that brightened over the faces of those who hurt me," Tsuzuki looked down at Hisoka, taking his chin between his fingers and raising his head slightly. "You saved me, Hisoka...and now I will save you."

"I...I don’t know if I can be saved, Tsuzuki," Hisoka whispered, a tear trickling down his cheek, splattering on the wood floor.

Tsuzuki gazed at him for a moment, leaning down slowly. Hisoka closed his eyes and shuddered as he felt Tsuzuki’s warm breath against his own parted mouth that was heaving in frightened air. Still, Tsuzuki came closer encasing Hisoka in warmth, his gentleness touching even Hisoka’s mind, but all he could see was a blood red moon and a silver angel below it, drenched in blood, then Tsuzuki’s voice from far away. "You opened the door, Hisoka. You are asking for help...the
least you could do is let me try."

At that Hisoka raised his chin, inviting a kiss, even as his eyes remained squeezed shut. Tsuzuki took up the invitation and brushed his lips over Hisoka’s, then deepened it little by little,
until Hisoka’s meek groan of pleasure made him realize the young man was pressed against the wall behind him, arms snaked around his neck, tangled in his brown hair and mouth hot and passionate against his own. With a smile, Tsuzuki pulled back, almost laughing when Hisoka tried to capture another kiss. "Now...what did you feel?"

Hisoka was only half coherent as his hooded green eyes stared lustfully back at Tsuzuki. The look he made was enough to make Tsuzuki tremble in anticipation, though he somewhat was wary of Hisoka’s answer. "You," the young blond hissed out, throwing himself against Tsuzuki, who stumbled with the weight, but stayed standing, as Hisoka’s mouth hovered over his for a moment. "Only you, every sense it’s you and I want more!"

Their mouths connected again, ravaging passionately while their hands strayed. Tsuzuki felt
his body on fire, he didn’t know how much he could stand, before he would want to take the boy. They fell back onto the bed, somehow making it into the bedroom, without breaking the flame between them. Hisoka was on top, his legs straddling Tsuzuki, his hands wandering down his chest, tugging at clothing, while his mouth sent mad strikes everywhere it kissed. Tsuzuki was panting,
his groin throbbing and his mind soaring with happiness, but he hadn’t intended to take the boy tonight. It was much too soon in his healing period.

"Hisoka," he breathed out, "You’re going to take this too far."

Hisoka’s laugh was a hum against Tsuzuki’s throat. His emerald eyes raised to meet Tsuzuki’s. "I wanted you to stay with me," he whispered, dotting kisses over his jaw then leaning over and letting his breath cascade over Tsuzuki’s ear and neck. "Now I want you to stay within me."

Tsuzuki almost bucked at the idea, instead he groaned out his tension and the throbbing in his
groin. "Hisoka."

"I want you to possess me, every inch of me," at his words Hisoka continued to kiss every inch of Tsuzuki that was within touching distance without him moving from his straddled position. "Take Muraki’s possession of me away. I want it to be you."

"No," Tsuzuki whispered, his will breaking with his arousal, but his mind still slightly clear. "No, Hisoka. I will not possess you."

"Tsuzuki, please," Hisoka cried out, pushing his own arousal against Tsuzuki.

Tsuzuki’s back arched, sweat glistening on his brow, his breath coming hard. "I will not possess you." He repeated, then shifted, throwing Hisoka back onto the bed and looming over him, his hand
clenching Hisoka’s arms up over his head. The boy looking utterly frightened, until Tsuzuki smiled warmly and ran his hands lightly down Hisoka’s arms and over his chest. "I will free you. Every inch of you. Free from Muraki’s hold."

Hisoka gave off a little moan as Tsuzuki’s mouth began to play expertly against his skin, making his every nerve tingle and his pants suddenly very tight. "Tsuzuki..."

Tsuzuki took his mouth again and played his fingers over Hisoka’s abdomen, as he worked him out of his jeans. At the same moment Hisoka was working on Tsuzuki’s shirt, unbuttoning it clumsily in his haste to have Tsuzuki. Once the pants were off, Tsuzuki traced his fingers over the young
man’s lean thighs, circling around to his inner thighs and making him buck as he brushed close to the boy’s erection. Hisoka had fallen back, too immersed in the pleasure to notice he had Tsuzuki’s shirt completely unbuttoned, but not off. Without a pause Tsuzuki shrugged it off, then ran his hands up Hisoka’s body pulling up his shirt with the movement and tugging it off without moving Hisoka in his revere.

"Tsuzuki..." Hisoka whispered again, his long fingers fumbling with the button and zipper of Tsuzuki’s black pants. Tsuzuki leaned back, letting Hisoka have his way, and gasped in shock
and surprise, when Hisoka took his erection in his mouth. Pitching forward on a violent wave of pleasure, Tsuzuki used Hisoka, who was leaned down over him, to retain his balance. Tsuzuki was panting down, his breath heaving his chest as Hisoka worked him on, his mouth skilled despite his lack of experience.

Tsuzuki quivered, under the young man’s touch, but endeavored to push him away. He didn’t want to release so soon. "Hisoka,...ohhh, Hisoka...wait...please uhh--" He was able to pull the boy away, then collapse on top of him, his face buried into his shoulder. He almost laughed at Hisoka’s
question.

"Not good?"

"Ohhh, Hisoka, far from it," Tsuzuki whispered, pushed up to brace himself over Hisoka. "But at that rate you would have made me release too soon."

Hisoka blinked up at him, then slowly smiled. Something Tsuzuki didn’t see often...or at all, and now that he had, he made a mental note to get the boy to do it more often. He’d never seen anything more beautiful than Hisoka with a smile. Hisoka was out to torture him it seemed, for the younger partner, raised his leg slightly, rubbing it against Tsuzuki’s inner thigh and groin, making the older man suck in a breath and press his forehead against Hisoka’s shoulder. "Is somebody losing control?"

Tsuzuki’s eyes shot open in surprise. That tone of voice...he’d never heard Hisoka talk like that. He was teasing him! Playfully! Tsuzuki smiled down at Hisoka, not calling attention to the change as he ran his fingers down the center of Hisoka’s chest, not even bothering to stop as his hand went all the way down to Hisoka’s erection and over that with feather touches as well. Hisoka fell back and yelped, his eyes closing as his head pressed back against the pillow.
"I am always in control--"

Tsuzuki barely finished the sentence when Hisoka grabbed him by the nape of the neck and kissed him hard, running his tongue along the roof of Tsuzuki’s mouth and playing it against Tsuzuki’s own. Growling his own aggression, Tsuzuki snaked his arm around Hisoka’s waist and pulled the younger male hard against him. Hisoka moaned into his mouth, his tongue retreating for a moment as he shuddered, his fingers clutching more tightly to the hair at Tsuzuki’s nape. Using their slightly shifted position to his advantage, Tsuzuki lifted himself onto one knee to work the heat
between Hisoka’s legs. The blond male, trembled at the feeling and was only vaguely aware that Tsuzuki was preparing him with their own mixed pre-cum. His body became more flustered in anticipation of his partner having him, and he gasped sharply as Tsuzuki prodded into him with his fingers.

Their mouths reconnected as Tsuzuki slipped a second finger in, stretching him so not to hurt him greatly. Their heat mingled, breath hot on each other as their kisses strayed. Tsuzuki found the hollow of Hisoka’s throat was amazingly sweet-tasting and wallowed in that dip, until he felt Hisoka’s body relax, expanding around his fingers. With lust darkened violet eyes, Tsuzuki
looked up at Hisoka and smiled, trailing his mouth and tongue back up to his panting mouth. "Tsuzuki..."

"Hmmm, you ready?" Tsuzuki asked, as if to give the young man a last chance to get out of the situation. The look in those emerald eyes, told Tsuzuki it was far too late for that. He almost laughed at the dazed nod Hisoka gave him before nipping his bottom lip, then taking his mouth.
He eased into Hisoka as slowly as his own passions would allow, minding that the young thing was clinging in not only pain, but fear. "I’m here, Hisoka, it’s me. I love you...open your eyes, Hisoka, look at me." When his partner complied, fearful green meeting soft purple, he smiled and brushed his thumb over Hisoka’s flushed lower lip. "Aishiteru, Hisoka."

Clear blue began to well up over the emerald, then Hisoka smiled. "Mou aishiteru, Tsuzuki." With that said he thrusted his hips up, sheathing Tsuzuki within him completely. Tsuzuki grunted, pressing his mouth against Hisoka’s shoulder and taking a small tender bite of his smooth skin. Hisoka would have laughed at the meek gesture had he not been so immersed in the tidal wave of pleasure that washed over him now that Tsuzuki was within him. It wasn’t just his hard length
warming him from the inside, nor his lanky body enveloping him in heat, it was his mind as well; sending every touch of love, tenderness, and adoration into Hisoka’s soul. It was almost unbearably moving.

"Tsuzuki...oh...," Hisoka’s head fell back against the pillow beneath it, and Tsuzuki pulled back
then forward, thrusting into Hisoka and hitting some point of absolute pleasure. Hisoka cried out, his legs wrapping around Tsuzuki as if to pull him closer. Tsuzuki forced his groan, which was more of a growl, into Hisoka’s shoulder, pushing into him again, his own urgency and building heat taking over.

Hisoka didn’t notice the pain anymore, just the overwhelming sense that was Tsuzuki. He matched Tsuzuki’s speed, pushing rapidly into his comrade as Tsuzuki hit the same pleasure spot at each trust. Hisoka was writhing, panting, and feeling as if he were going to scream or pass out. It seemed he would settle on the first when everything exploded into a white light, sending a pulsing release throughout his body driving down to one point. Tsuzuki’s loud moan melded with his own cry as the taller male released himself into Hisoka, the sticky liquid covering their stomachs from Hisoka’s own zenith. The young man fell back against the sheets, his eyes half closed as he continued to pant heavily. Tsuzuki pulled out of him gently, as he settled down on top of him, and cuddled his nose under the left side of Hisoka’s jaw.

Hisoka smiled at his lover’s motion, and reached his hand up to stoke Tsuzuki’s brown tresses,
reveling in his new found love. "The darkness is gone, Tsuzuki, thank you. You have saved me."

"Mmmm," Tsuzuki hummed into his throat, kissing the hollow before looking up at Hisoka and smiling. "I’m not done saving you, yet."

Hisoka yelped, when Tsuzuki pounced on him, taking his mouth as his hands tickled at his sides. Pushing his hands away Hisoka laughed aloud, his eyes bright. Tsuzuki pulled back staring down at the enchanting creature beneath him. "Almost there, though."

The blond male smiled, then reached out running his fingers over his lover’s brow, before snaking his arm around his neck and pulling him back down on top of him, taking his mouth with gentle
passion and a soft smile.

Author's Notes: Yum...lemony. That was the most controversial lemon of written...how you ask? Because I havn't written a lemon with so much detail. Well I just hope that it wasn't vulgar, that it my worst fear. Oh! But wait, the fic is not over, yes this is not a PWP lemon, there is MORE!!!! Yay -RKF