Return! Part duex!


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Love Stinks
By RubyD
Part 2

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The house was small but large enough for one person to live comfortably. It was warm and the smells coming from the kitchen were delicious. Tsuzuki's eyes had glazed over, and appeared ready to bolt, though he still kept a firm grasp on Watari's left arm. Hisoka, on his right side, glanced at the flowing ink paintings on the walls as they followed Tatsumi.

There were four chairs around the table, but it was only set for two. Plates and glasses were on opposite ends, and a small bouquet decorated the center. Tatsumi politely offered Watari a seat as the other two stood back, wondering what to do.

"I'll bring out a few more plates," Tatsumi said.

"I'll help bring the food!" Tsuzuki announced.

"I'll lend a hand with that. You might eat it before it gets out here," Hisoka murmured under his breathe.

Watari blinked. "I'll . . . Just stay right here."

"Sure," they chirped, leaving to room. CHIRPED. Watari was starting to think they had contracted a new virus. One that made its victims insane.

Hisoka was the first back. "Would you like some tea, Watari-san?" he offered hesitantly, blushing, and holding a ceramic pot. "Or wine? There's some back there, I could go get it for you, if you'd like . . . " The teen frowned, suddenly distressed.

"No, no, tea's great." Watari waved his hands in front of him with a smile. "Thank-you."

He blushed yet again, nodded, and poured the caramel-colored tea into the cup.

Next Tsuzuki entered, balancing several dishes on his arms and one on his head. He spoke to the scientist with a rapid-fire description of what he brought.

"Look! Look! Here we have fried rice, or plain rice, some perfectly cooked Peking duck, ooh, and on this dish we have an assortment of fresh fruits - kiwi, strawberries, watermelon chunks, mm, oranges and peeled grapes - or do you want some of the soup? With wontons, I recommend . . . And the dumplings! Do you remember them, Hisoka? At that one place with the sake."

Watari gulped nervously as Tsuzuki was starting to lean a bit too far over -

A few random bits of fruit rolled off and dropped onto his sleeves. It wasn't much, yet it caused quite a reaction.

"Be careful, or you'll spill everything on him!" Hisoka seethed, grabbing the food and hastily placing them on the table before any more fell.

"Wai! I'm sorry!" Tsuzuki gasped, and leapt at Watari with a napkin, intent on cleaning him up. He rubbed the areas that the fruits had fallen on, and picked up the scraps.

"No, you're not doing it right," Hisoka said, taking up a second napkin and nearly attacking the flabbergasted Shinigami with it. "You're smearing it! You're smearing it! That's wrong!"

"I'm trying! Quit being so mean!"

Watari found himself being frantically swabbed and pampered over like an invalid, and the napkins were wiping at places other than his sleeves. They mobbed his chest and face, scrubbing at invisible specks of juice, and when their hands began to trail a little too low -

"Stop! No! That's okay!" He shoved them away, attempting to free himself from the madmen. Flattered as he was by their attention, this was getting scary. "I'm fine! No worries, I‘m clean!"

Hisoka stepped back and tilted his chin at the sitting man. "So do you want us to serve you right now?"

A pause. "What?"

"Serve you the food, how about it?"

"Oh! Right . . . Ah, I think I'll wait for Tatsumi first. He is the host . . . "

"I didn't know you cared," came the voice from the kitchen. Tatsumi entered with a benevolent smile, holding two more sets of tableware. "I heard shouting. Was there something wrong?"

Hisoka rolled his eyes. "Tsuzuki dropped some grapes on Watari-san."

"Really?" Abra kadabra, a small piece of cloth appeared in hand. "How unfortunate. Are you all right? Do you need a towel?"

"No!" Watari shouted. Then, in a more normal tone, he added, "No, I don't need a towel. I'm good, really, you don't have to worry so much. Thank-you for the concern."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Fair enough." He placed the extra plates on the table. "Tsuzuki-san, Kurosaki-kun, if you're still hungry please feel free to eat something."

"Hai," they answered, and sat down.

"So what would you like, Watari?"

" . . . I'll have some of the duck, please . . . "

***

The actual dinner was just as eventful. When Watari finished something Tatsumi and Tsuzuki would quickly shove another item on to the plate, and after every time he drank his tea Hisoka would offer a napkin. Then the trio started fussing more and more as the hour continued. Did you like the soup? Have some more, Watari. Are the lights too bright? Is it too cold? Hot? Look, Watari-san, you got something in your hair, let me get it out. Are you going to eat that? Can I have it? Are you allergic to anything? Do you want a napkin?

It got so that he stopped eating entirely, too annoyed with the commotion they were causing.

"Would you all just please calm down?" he snapped irritably. And, without skipping a beat, they all began apologizing profusely at the sighing man. What did he do to deserve this?

He laughed nervously to himself. Oh, wait . . .

The potion. It had to be. What else could be causing such odd behavior? Airborne . . . And what exactly was it doing to his friends? Watari planned to investigate the matter as soon as he got back to the lab. The answer was in the notes, somewhere. He'd have to find it.

If he survived through dinner, that was. And without throttling anyone.

The food disappeared, courtesy of Tsuzuki, and there were dishes to be washed. Since it would be unfair for Tatsumi to clean right after cooking so much, and as an excuse to get away for a moment, Watari volunteered to do it.

"No, you're the guest. Please, I'm sure Tsuzuki-san and Kurosaki-kun would be glad to help, instead."

"Really? Are you fine with that?"

"Yes."

"Hey, aren't we guests, too?" Tsuzuki complained.

"Did you say something?" Tatsumi pushed up his glasses, giving the Shinigami a hard stare.

"N - nothing."

Hisoka didn't comment and simply started picking up the silverware. There would be other more worthwhile battles to be fought. Soon the three had gathered all the glass and china and marched off into the kitchen.

Watari seriously pondered just leaving right then. Escape was only a few meters away . . . but that would be rude, and in their state of mind, he wasn't sure if that was a grand idea. He opted to drum the table anxiously.

A muffled crash echoed from the other room. Hushed voices followed, arguing. The scientist glanced worriedly at the wooden door, wondering what was happening. Another clatter, this time a plate hitting something but not breaking. More infuriated whispering.

He became curious, and decided to quietly peek into the doorway. Shuffling over, he opened it a crack.

"What is the matter with you?" Hisoka said, crossly pointing a rinsed fork at the two men. "You two are . . . *stuck* on him. And you were annoying him. I've been sensing it for the last hour."

"That's funny, Kurosaki-kun," Tatsumi retorted. "You kept wiping his face. He's not a child, you know."

"Well *you* keep looking at him funny," Tsuzuki added, drying dishes. Then he held it up to shield himself from Tatsumi. "Scary eyes! Stop!"

"Admit it, you all want Watari-san," Hisoka announced.

What? The Shinigami at the door suffered a mild shock.

"The same can be said about you, Kurosaki-kun."

The teen blushed tomato.

What?! Ooh, up to a heart-attack.

Tatsumi coughed. "I propose a new strategy: every man for himself. Whoever can win Watari over deserves him. Use any means necessary. Agreed?"

"Agreed," Tsuzuki and Hisoka murmured.

Oh my God, kill me now. . . if I weren't already dead, that is. . .

"We should go check on him. It's been a while." The violet-eyed man put down his rag and approached the door.

Watari stumbled back in panic, tripping and falling over a chair. "Yaaaaah - !" he cried. Out! He needed to get out! Flee, flee! These people were crazy!

"Wa-Watari! Are you hurt?!" Tsuzuki knelt over the fallen man, eyes wide. Then, in a change of moods, he leaned directly over the blonde's face, expression soft. "Do you want me to kiss it and make it all better?" Oh my, aggressive. His mouth inched ever closer and closer.

"Noo! Get away from me!" Watari struggled, and jerked away. He scrambled to his feet, shaking, finding Hisoka and Tatsumi watching from the kitchen doorway. "I - I just need some fresh air! EXCUSE ME!!"

The scientist flew out of the house before anyone could stop him.


TBC


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Notes: What is this "WAFF" thing? And thank-you for the lovely support.