Episode 1
When we left out super heroine, she was striking a super hero pose (she's a super hero she can do that. You are not a super hero, so you can't) outside the ultra goth club, after getting kicked out for making them watch The Little Mermaid. But, she had done her super deed! They were happy! Granted it was for kicking her out, but they were happy none the less.
So, Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!) was looking for more pathetic depressed goths to help when she saw...a very peculiar person...it was a goth, but a happy goth...she stopped and scratched her head (everyone knows that Super Happy Gothic Girl's (ta da!) other life is as a teacher, but don't worry, it's not lice!) and thought, "Hey! Another happy goth! Maybe we can combine forces!" So she walked up to the strange being and smiled (which is a secret greeting between happy goths) to see what would happen...and she smiled back! Well, Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!) was astounded by this new thing...another happy goth! Woo hoo!!!
So, with this secret greeting passes, Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!) put out her hand and said, "Hi! I am Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!) and I am fighting depressed goths all over the world! I have just had too much coffee also!! Would you like to help me? That is if you can strike a super hero pose, that is a requirement!"
This new strange being shook Super Happy Gothic Girl's (ta da!) hand and said, "Look at this!" and struck a great super hero pose! Super Happy Gothic Girl was amazed! That was really good!
"Well, since you are so good at super hero poses, you must be my sidekick!" exclaimed Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!). "What is your name?"
She replied, "My name is Lady Vanessa of Gothdom (ta dum!). Look! I already have my own soundtrack! We shall fight depression everywhere!"
"Rock on sister friend of fighting evil!" yelled Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!). "Your soundtrack kicks ass!"
"Let us go be happy and fight depression!" said Lady Vanessa of Gothdom (ta dum!) as she and Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!) skipped down the street singing the oscar mayer wiener song happily for all to hear.
As the super hero duo were skipping down the street, the heard one of the most tell tail signs of depression...someone was playing Pretty Hate Machine over and over again!
"Oh, no!" cried Lady Vanessa of Gothdom (ta dum!). "We must help them!"
"You are right, Lady Vanessa of Gothdom (ta dum!). But, first, we shall practice our super hero poses together so that they will be synchrinized. Only when they are, can we fight depression the right way!" said Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!). Lady Vanessa of Gothdom (ta dum!) agreed with a super hero nod (that's something you can't do either until you reach super hero status. Try all you might, but it won't work!). So the super hero duo practiced until they got it right. Then they moved on to save the depressed one.
They kicked down the door, walked in and struck a super hero pose that they practiced. The depressed one said, "Why the hell did you kick in my door??? It was open!"
The super hero duo looked at each other with a confused glance, then explained, "Well, that is what super heros do!"
The depressed one shook her head, "You guys are fucked. How much crack have you smoked lately?"
Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!) smiled and said, "Not since I lose my remote control in my dorm room!"
Lady Vanessa of Gothdom (ta dum!) said, "We are here to help you. Let us help you help yourself".
"Only Trent knows how I feel," sighed the depressed one.
"This is going to be a long one!" said Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!). "Lady Vanessa of Gothdom (ta dum!), let's make some coffee, although I don't think the ready public relaly wants me to have any more right now!"
"Good idea, Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!)" said Lady Vanessa of Gothdom (ta dum!).
"Would you guys fucking shut up with the soundtracks here?! You are driving me nuts!" said the depressed one.
Appalled by the idea, Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!) said, "We will not! And I shall make you happy god damn it, that is as soon as I kick your ass for your lack of respect to super heros!!" [editor's note: you fucking go girl!]
Due to the violenceof the following incident and the fact that it is really out of character for our heroine, we will have to edit the following part. But if you want a sneak peek...(God damn it!!! What is that??? Ancient chinese torture secrets????) there, that is all you get.
Stay tuned for the next adventures of Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!) and her sidekick, Lady Vanessa of Gothdom (ta dum!)
*****The previous is copyrighted, so don't even try to steal it. Or you will get crazy people on your ass! Thank you! :)
