Episode 5
"Oh no! Look Princess Jen The Late (silence), it's Evil Shield Stealer Giggle Boy (hehe) and Overly Creative Mean Guy (bwah ha ha)! Whatever are they doing here? Let's try to scare them with our super hero stances! Oh wait...you are just a mere princess, you just wave at them!" declared Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!) as she stroke a super hero pose. Princess Jen The Late (silence) waved at them furiously.
"Your super hero poses and waving doesn't scare us, Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!)," stated Evil Shield Stealer Giggle Boy (hehe). "We are here for one reason and one reason only. And it has nothing to do with figuring out how to get blacks to match right."
Confused that her super hero pose didn't scare them and why they weren't concerned about getting their blacks to match, Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!) tried a different pose, a better super hero pose, and replied, "Oh yeah?? And what is that?"
"We are here for world domination, and we are ready to fight for it!" shouted Overly Creative Mean Guy (bwah ha ha) in a really mean voice.
"World domination? I dunno if I can fight for that....do I already dominate the world and didn't know it?" asked Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!)
"Don't I already dominate the world? I mean, I am a princess..." said Princess Jen The Late (silence).
"You're just a social figure, you don't really rule anything. Now, are you ready to fight for it?" asked Evil Shield Stealer Giggle Boy (hehe).
After thinking for a moment, Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!) replied, "Well, we better fight for it, or that little imaginary world you are living in is gonna collapse as soon as you figure out that you really don't rule anything." Turning to her arch nemesis, she said, "Okay! We'll do it! We will fight for world domination! So I can save all the llamas in chile! Now, my arch nemesis, how shall we fight? With swords? Fists? I just saw fight club, by the way, so I wouldn't chose that one if I were you. Laser Tag?"
"We were thinking along the lines of euchre. It seems the only fitting way to really fight for world domination," said Overly Creative Mean Guy (bwah ha ha).
"Euchre? Let me think about it, hold on..." Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!) said as she pulled Princess Jen The Late (silence) into the corner to discuss how they were going to save the world. "What do you think? It's better than swords, I'm not very good at swords, it's been a while since I've seen Braveheart."
"I'd prefer Laser Tag, I've practiced shooting alot lately," said Princess Jen The Late (silence). "Why don't we go for Laser Tag again?"
Turning back to their arch nemesis, Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!) stroke yet another super hero pose hoping this one would intimidate them better, and declared, "We are ready to play Laser Tag for world domination!"
"Well, I don't know who you are playing Laser Tag with, because we are playing euchre!" shouted Overly Creative Mean Guy (bwah ha ha).
"Damn! Didn't work....guess it's euchre," whispered Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!) "Okay, but I get to deal first, because I know how to make my blacks match!"
"Foiled again, by that bugger matching rule!" said Evil Shield Stealer Giggle Boy (hehe). "Fine, you deal first."
The super hero, the princess and the arch nemesis sat down for a game of euchre for world domination. It was quite a close game. The girls had to watch the arch nemesis very closely, becuase everyone knows that arch nemesis cheat.
It was getting close to the end when Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!) was starting to get worried about her llamas in Chile. If she lost, what would they do? She was going to take them to Holland so they could eat tulips and frolic through the windmills. She better not lose. [Llamas and tulips? I am not even going to go there.... -ed.] Our wonderful girls were down by three points when they realized the arch nemesis were cheating!
"Hey you bad arch nemesis guys! You're cheating! My llamas would not be very happy with you at all!" shouted Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!)
"Yeah! They want to play in Holland, that is very evil of you!" yelled Princess Jen The Late (silence).
After realizing they were busted, the arch nemesis agreed to a comprimise. They decided that instead of world domination, they would fight for Paraguay. Seemed reasonable enough.
Then it happened...our girls lost! They lost the game and Paraguay!!! How could it happen? Something this awful? What about those poor Paraguanians?? They were counting on our girls! [Is paraguanian even a real word? -ed.] Fortunately for the girls, the arch nemesis agreed to a 2 out of 3 tournament. So they tried again. And lost again.
"My poor Paraguanians?? How will they ever forgive me? I lost them twice in one day!!" wailed Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!)
"Send them some llamas, I think they will get over it. Am sure they like llamas, and maybe some tulips too. I still rule over Chile and Holland after all," consoled Princess Jen The Late (silence).
"We won Paraguay....we won Paraguay..." chanted Evil Shield Stealer Giggle Boy (hehe) and Overly Creative Mean Guy (bwah ha ha) as they danced around the room and out of the coffee shop.
"With these coffee shop patrons and the llamas as my witness, I shall win Paraguay and the trust of the Paraguanians back!" declared Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!) as she jumped on top of the table and struck the best super hero pose ever. [a bit late, don't you think? -ed.] It was such a good pose, you could hear the oohs and ahhs from all over the coffee shop.
"I think you should send them some llamas until you figure out how to win them back," said Princess Jen The Late (silence). "And I could go there and give them the llamas and wave!"
"Then on you go, Princess Jen The Late (silence)! Make sure those Paraguanians know that I love them, even though I lost them twice in a card game. I will avenge their loss!" shouted Super Happy Gothic GIrl (ta da!) to the thunderous applause from the coffee shop.
Will Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!) ever win back Paraguay?? [well...since she has lost them 3 more times in addition to the first two, my guess is no. -ed.]
*once again, copyright, copyright, copyright........
