Girl For Hire

Girl For Hire
By Walter Edminster

Miss Brown called Miss Cox on the intercom. “The Girl For Hire you requested is here.”

“Bring her in.”

“Yes Mam, I sure will.” She sounded like she was laughing.”

Miss Brown and the Girl For Hire stood in front of the desk. Mis Cox, whose first name was Shirley, looked up in surprise. “I thought you said you had the Girl For Hire with you?”

“I did. This is her,,, or him or ... This is the Girl For Hire.”

“Are you sure?”

“If you don’t want him I’ll take him.”

“That will be all, Miss Brown. Don’t you have some typing to do?”

“Yes Mam, I do.” She quickly left the office.

“Well, Girl For Hire, you sure don’t look like the last one they sent us.”

“No Mam, I don’t.” The six foot two, neatly dressed, pleasant looking young fellow was definitely not a girl. He seemed to have a permanent grin on his face but didn’t look like a person who could be easily intimidated. People often regarded good natured people as softies. Looks can be deceiving.

“Well, I guess it doesn’t matter as long as you can do computer graphics. We do mostly Corel Draw or AutoCad. Can you do both of those?”

“Yes Mam, that’s why they sent me rather than one of the prettier Girl For Hires. I was the only one who could do what you requested.“

”You know you’ll get a lot of teasing, don’t you?”

“That doesn’t bother me.”

“The one you’ll get the most from is the man you’ll be working for, Jimmy Falkner. Oh, and don’t be too friendly with Cindy. That’s Jimmy’s girl friend and he gets pretty upset when someone flirts with her. The problem is, she flirts back.”

“No problem, I was told not to get too intimate with any of my co-workers.”

“Is this your first assignment with Girl For Hire?”

“Yes it is. I was looking for a job and a friend of mine said Girl For Hire had a shortage of Computer graphics people so I went over and interviewed. They said they’d call me if anything came up. I didn’t think they would but this morning I got a call. They said you were one of their best customers and they didn’t want to let you down. They indicated that if I blew it, I was not to expect another assignment.

Shirley took him around and introduced him to everyone as the new Girl For Hire. Everyone thought it was funny but in a good natured way. All but Jimmy Falkner, 250 pounds of muscle with a mouth like Eddy Haskell. He started in on him immediately and was soon joined by his girl, Cindy. Cindy was half female and half cosmetic surgery. Appealing to some but not to others. She was a bad copy of Pamela Anderson. Shirley didn’t have to worry about her new Girl For Hire getting too friendly with that one.

But the girl who sat at the computer next to him might be a different story. Her name was Mindy and he liked her instantly. She was a frump from the word go but a nice frump. There wasn’t anything phoney about her and there was nothing about her that stood out. She wasn’t ugly by a long shot. She was just plain and she also was very timid, as plain girls sometimes are. Pretty girls have pretty girl personalities and hard looking girls have hard girl personalities. But plain girls often don’t even have personalities. Oh they have them all right, but they keep them buried under those shy exteriors. Sometimes it needs a little help to uncover it.

There were eight people in the computer graphics group and Falkner was the supervisor. He collected the work orders from the other departments and assigned jobs to his people. Some always got the hard jobs while others ended up with the easy ones. Three others, to be exact. Three of Jimmy’s followers weren’t really good graphic artists but were old friends of his. He kept them around because they made him feel important. It was nice having a few yes men around. Mindy and the new Girl For Hire got the toughest jobs. Almost overnight reports were coming back from other departments about the high quality work they were producing. Although Mindy and Girl For Hire were doing it, Jimmy was taking credit for it. You’d think he wouldn’t bite the hand that fed him but Jimmy couldn’t stop hassling the two of them. One day when he was being more obnoxious than usual with Girl For Hire bit, it started getting on their nerves. Girl For Hire decided he’d had enough. He said, “Jimmy, my name is Mike. Mike Fowler, and if I ever hear you call me Girl For Hire again, or tell me to go powder my nose, or pick on Mindy again, I’m going to stuff you under that desk over there and end up losing my job. That means you won’t be getting any more of the notoriety you’ve been getting by passing off my work as yours.” Shirley was walking up and heard it all. She said, “Jimmy, I would love to see him stuff you under that desk but I’d rather lose you than him so I suggest you do as he says.” Jimmy started to speak but never got the chance. Shirley continued, “If you open your mouth, I’ll fire you on the spot.” Jimmy closed his mouth and walked back to his desk. Shirley said, “Would you have really done it?” Mike grinned and said. “You’ll never know.”

“Well, watch you’re step. He’ll find a way to get even.”

“I always watch my step.”

Shirley was right. Jimmy was going to get even. He went out to a pay phone and made a call to a shady character who would do just about anything for money. That afternoon when Mike went out to the parking lot he found four guys waiting for him by his car. Three minutes later he slowly pulled out of the parking lot being careful not to run over any of the inert bodies.

The next morning Jimmy came to work with a bandage on his nose. It appeared to be broken. Mindy whispered to Mike, “I wonder what he ran into.”

“I think he ran into four angry guys who thought the job they performed, or attempted to perform, was worth more money than he was paying them.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I’ll explain later. Right now we need to get these two jobs done so Jimmy can get some more of the glory. He looks like his ego needs bolstering.”

“Doesn’t it bother you that he’s taking credit for you’re work?”

“No. But if it ever does, I can prove that everything he’s taken credit for was done be us.”

“How?” Mike took his magnifying glass and placed it over a portion of the printed drawing she’d just finished working on. Her name was graphically worked into the drawing in a way nobody would ever detect unless they knew where it was and had a magnifying glass. “Now look here.” He moved the glass over to his drawing and showed her his name. “If gets too far out of line, we’ll show this to him. But not before we’ve shown everybody else. I put your name into your drawings every night after you go home.

Mike was not just a graphic artist, he was a computer genius. He wrote a couple programs that saved the company hours of time and money. He found errors in some of their databases that would have cost them thousands of dollars. Shirley decided she needed him here as a regular employee. Jimmy, unwittingly made that possible.

Girl For Hire and other agencies of that type have a clause in their contract that makes it difficult for companies to snatch their best employees away from them. Jimmy, who wasn’t looked upon with favor at the moment decided Mike was the problem. If he could get rid of Mike he would be the number one boy again. He called Girl For Hire and told them about Mike threatening to stuff him under a desk. Girl For Hire called Shirley and asked if that had really happened. She told them it had and before she had a chance to explain, Mike’s agency supervisor said she would take care of it immediately and hung up. She then called Mike and told him he was fired and not to ever come back to Girl For Hire office. His check would be in the mail. She hung up on him too. Mike went to Shirley and apologized for the inconvenience and told her he’d enjoyed working for her. She immediately offered him a job with the company. A job she was just about to create. She told him not to worry about any problems with Girl For Hire. The company’s lawyers would handle that. Jimmy had shot himself in the foot again.

Mike called his new group into his office for a get started meeting. “As you all know, I was recently a member of Girl For Hire agency. I no longer work for them. I now work for the same company you do. As your new manager. Manager of the newly created Graphics/Programming department.” That raised a few eyebrows. “Not all of you will be part of this new department. As I’ve observed over the last few weeks, there are some very talented people in the graphics section. There are also some very untalented people in this section. Then there are some borderline people who may or may not stay with the department. The company will try to find positions for them elsewhere in the company, if they qualify. Up until now the programming section and the graphics section have been separate sections reporting directly to Miss Cox. Now the two sections will both be under me and I’ll be reporting to Miss Cox. Are there any questions so far?”

Meg Green, one of the long time employees had a question. “In the past we’ve been harassed by some of the people from other departments who bring work to us. Nothing has ever been done about it. What do you intend to do?”

“I know how you’ve been harassed by these people and I intend to put a stop to it. The next time it happens, don’t argue with them. Just call me and I’ll be there. It won’t take long to get this problem solved, permanently. Jimmy said, “Ha, that will be the day.”

“Jimmy, you’d better keep your mouth shut. You’re in the borderline group I referred to earlier.”

Things were coming into place now. Jimmy Falkner was grudgingly doing a good job now that his Yes Men were gone. Mike gave them a chance but there just wasn’t much of anything they knew how to do except stir up trouble so he let them go. Frumpy, shy, Mindy, on the other hand, had been promoted to second in command under Mike . She was no longer frumpy and shy. An interesting turn around.

Mike was coming back from a meeting one day and heard Schultz from the packaging department shouting obscenities at someone, which was not uncommon for him. As he came through the door he spotted Shultz waving a bunch of papers in front of Mindy’s face. He started over to break it up but suddenly stopped. The obscenities were still flying but this time they were coming from Mindy. “Listen you asshole, I’m sick of you coming down here yelling and screaming at me every day. Now you get the Fuck out of here and come back when you can talk to me in a civil tone.” She stood there glaring at him, daring him to say something. He didn’t say a word. He turned on his heel and headed for the door. As he passed Mike, Mike said, “I suggest you follow her instructions. The next time you come on to her like that, she’ll throw you out of here. If she doesn’t, I will. And that’s a promise.”

Mike walked over to Mindy, who was still steaming. “I didn’t know you could cuss like that.”

“I have three brothers. I don’t usually talk like that but I had to speak in a language he understood.”

“I believe he got you’re message.

Mindy gained a lot of respect that day. Now her fellow workers thought of her as a person rather than a frump. Some were even a little afraid of her. Her personality developed rapidly after that. She started wearing more attractive clothes, she changed her hair, and she grew more confident. Eventually she outgrew her job. She was ready for a promotion.

Six months later things were running smoothly. Too smoothly. Mike was getting restless. At one time Mike had been a quiet computer expert. Then, just by chance, he got a taste of a different lifestyle. A more exciting life style than the old one. He found that he liked it. Sometimes he missed it. This was one of those times.

The phone was ringing. Mike had dozed off. He picked up the phone and tried to sound alert. “Hello.”

“Hey Mike, you been sleeping?”

“No, just day dreaming. Who’s speaking, please?”

“You mean you don’t recognize my voice? I’m the lady who sent you Europe to get killed.”

Now that woke him up. “Oh yeah, I vaguely remember. You’re that short fat lady with a wart on the end of her nose.”

“No, I’m the tall beautiful creature with the blonde hair.”

“No I guess I was wrong. I don’t remember anyone like that.”

“How’s your bank account doing?”

“Not doing so well. Getting dangerously low.” Actually it wasn’t but Mike wanted a good excuse to accept the job he was sure she was going to offer him.

“Want a job? It shouldn’t last more than a couple weeks and it pays better than the last one we offered you.”

“I kind of hate to leave my employee high and dry. She needs me.”

“No she doesn’t. You’ve been grooming Mindy to replace you for over three months now. She’s ready.”

“How do I tell Miss Cox I’m leaving her?”

“You won’t need to. I just talked to Shirley on the phone. She thinks you need a change. Be in my office Monday morning at 0800 and start growing a full beard.”

“Now I remember you. You’re that tall blonde. The one who would be a real doll if she didn’t have such a big butt. Yeah I remember you now.”

“What?”

“See you Monday at 0800.” Mike hung up smiling. Phyllis was a doll alright. Her butt wasn’t big at all. In fact it was perfect. It was going to be nice seeing her again.

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