As if I'd post a real picture! Don't you know there are perverts out there in cyberspace?

Name: Owl, (The) Green Evil Twin’s Name: Cuan Gwyrdd, (Y) DOB: 2 July 1977, 2:58 P.M. EDT Birthplace: Commonwealth of Virginia Ethnicity: German, Austrian, French, Norwegian, English, Irish, Scottish, Welsh, Cornish, Breton, Iroquois (the nasty ones who are into scalping) Boy-Toys: Owl-verine, Draco Malfoy Hogwarts House: Slytherin Member of: LOGAN-holics Anonymous Signature Saying: "Bite me." LiveJournal: Open Up a Vein... Jukebox: Jezebel's Juke Joint

Astrology Breakdown: Sun - Cancer, 9th House – “Idealism and intuition are my sword and shield.” Moon - Aquarius, 4th House – “Beware of detached mood swings.” Mercury - Cancer, 9th House – “Must write lest I perish from too much penned up verbiage!” Venus - Taurus, 7th House – “Yeah, I like the good life: sex, hugs and choc-o-late.” Mars - Taurus, 7th House – “Y’all can kiss my candy-flavored @$$! After you spank it, of course…” Jupiter - Gemini, 8th House – “Fluent in English, Spanish, eating, and shagging.” Saturn - Leo, 10th House – “Give me attention, admiration and R-E-S-P-E-C-T, and we’ll get along fine.” Uranus - Scorpio, 1st House – “It’s all about sex and death. As if that wasn’t blatantly obvious.” Neptune - Sagittarius, 2nd House – “There are some who say that life is an illusion…like my savings.” Pluto - Libra, 12th House – “Fair is fair and foul just sucks. Give a pen and pay me the bucks.”

Education: Bryn Mawr College, the most wonderful place on earth. Not that "happiest place on earth", mind you (even though it totally kicks Disneyland's @$$), but a college of mystery, mayhem and magic with three seasons of mists and shadows. My home away from home...

The Cloisters in M. Carey Thomas Hall

Hobbies:

Royal Scottish Country Dancing Society

SCD I teach Scottish Country Dancing when I'm not writing or napping or bemoaning the lack of an intelligent, well-mannered, well-groomed man who has never done pot. So what is SCD? I call it "vertical foreplay" for those who are mathematically inclined. It's done in groups with ballet footwork and kick-@$$ music. I received my Teacher's Certificate in May 2005 and life is once again a celebration! Whee!

Napping I love to sleep and I love my bed. I have the best relationship in the world with my mattress, my pillows and my blankets. It's one big non-stop orgy of softness, warmth and cuddling. Even better when my cat, Romeo, or my teddy bears join me. Other human beings are allowed provided they do not steal the covers or attempt to communicate while I'm making love to my afghan. I know what you're thinking, and yes, ladies, it is true...men make great space heaters! So make sure you stock up on them as well as those handy-dandy little bundle-bags. Just plop the man of your choice into one, tighten the cord round his neck and cuddle on up! (Multiple cats may be substituted if man is not available.)

Shhh! I'm having a "kitty-wink"!

Look, Ma, no looking!

Writing Well, actually, I use a computer. I know, "sacrilege" according to my three heroes - two of them wrote longhand, the other uses a typewriter much like the one on the left. But I love the clickety-clack the keys make, especially when I get more than just the first three digits of each hand involved. Sometimes it's more of an exorcism than an exercise. Finding the correct word to describe the feeling inside, completing the osmosis from inner monologue to word document, trying to keep my brain from oozing out my ears while I'm crying or raging or despairing ... trust me, kiddies, it ain't easy. And I know if I had to slow down to write it all down, I'd either go bonkers or die of an infection because the writer's callous on the middle finger of my right hand burst from too much pressure.

Dating Men. Can't live with 'em. Can't shoot 'em. But seriously, folks. It's a mad, mad world out there and it doesn't help that most human males have the emotional intelligence of a Twinkie as well as some version of "Peter Pan Syndrome" - not wanting to grow up and be responsible. It's especially rampant among American males. I think I'm going to have to start looking amongst Canadians, or perhaps join the immensely long list of ladies who have pre-ordered a "Darcy" model of the Perfect Man... Reminders from past experience: Spend time with a man whose sense of humor matches yours. When you're both old, sagging, wrinkled and too pooped to shag, being able to laugh with each other will be the glue that holds your relationship together. Don't waste your time on someone whose inherent values are not compatible with your own. If you are a stand for having a family, being healthy, and having emotional intimacy, don't whine if you are unhappy with a man who's committed to partying, screwing anything that has three holes and blaming his problems on "that bitch, my ex-girlfriend". Stay away from men who try to tell you how to eat.

Mr. Darcy... He's like a frozen bar of chocolate - you just wanna gnaw on him!

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