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Refuge from stalkers on yelp?

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Elite '08

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1 hour ago michelle "bored with nicknames." L. says:

As many of you know, I have a stalker who followed me here from Miami after I ended the relationship, moved into my neighborhood, showed up at my house/coffeeshop/on my train, and this weekend, somehow obtained my mobile number.

But how did he find out where I go? Through googling my name he found me on yelp. He has signed up for at least 4 different accounts, sending me messages, copying writing from my reviews, etc.

When I first signed up, since only first name and last initial was shown on the site, I wasn't aware that my full name would be exposed to the world. But it's too late now for me, the damage is already done.

To try to prevent this from happening again, I placed a . in front of my name to prevent it from being searchable. So long as that . was there, he couldn't seem to find me.

But I just received the following message from HQ:

...I wanted to drop a line because the National Elite Committee - wanted to make sure they're as fair across the board with the real names for Elite 08. If you could make sure there are no periods in your first name on your profile - that would be great!...
------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -----------------------

Here's my response:

Hi there,

I suppose since my stalker ex who followed me here from Miami already used Yelp to find me months ago before I added the dot, it doesn't really make much of a difference if I change it now.

I strongly wish to encourage you to allow users to opt out of allowing people to search for them using their full name. I have no problem allowing people to see "Michelle L" when they're reading my reviews, but I find it incredibly disconcerting that someone can search for my full name through google and find out what establishments I frequent.

There really is no reason I can see that you would need to open up the search for last names to the web... so long as we're accountable to the business owners and y'all in case of any violation of TOS, there really is NO need to ever expose our last names.

It would have saved me much grief had I known that names would be google-able when I first signed up... calls to the police, no longer being able to go to my neighborhood coffee shop because my ex found out I frequent the establishment, needing to change train lines because my reviews had let him know which train I take, etc. Especially in light of the problems another Elite user is experiencing, it's fairly clear that it is possible for a 'user' to somehow reverse-engineer some data pulled from the site to identify someone's last name.

Please, take the safety of your Elite users who dedicate the bulk of the content that makes yelp useful, funny, and/or cool into consideration, and develop an alternative to allowing our names to be globally searchable.

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Elite '08

130

181

1 hour ago michelle "bored with nicknames." L. says:

^^ end of message

I know I'm going to get the "Suck it up or just stop being elite" comments. But you know what? I shouldn't be forced to live my life consumed by fear of a mentally unstable person who can't get it through his head that it was over the second I had reason to call the cops. But no yelper, elite or otherwise, should be subject to being penalized for allowing yelp and businesses to hold us accountable for the content we donate. If yelp can prevent this from happening by masking our last names to search engines, they should.

I just wish that yelp would have some consideration for those of us who donate the bulk of the useful content to their venture (and I'm not just referring to elite yelpers). But until then, I guess I'll have to sleep with my machete under my bed instead.

Please respond to this thread if you have had any similar experiences or have anything else to add.

And yes, Kevin Mr. Magical Musician M, I already sent my concerns directly to HQ.

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Elite '08

134

1 hour ago Aimee "pocket rocket" L. says:

*restraining order crickets*

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263

1 hour ago the unoriginal Jessica M. says:

yeah, that's jacked michelle. i also like having something in front of my name, as i too googled myself and my yelp profile was the first thing that popped up.

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1 hour ago the unoriginal Jessica M. says:

bottom line: their name rule sucks and is disrespectful the privacy of the users.

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Elite '08

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1 hour ago Bella "Please FUC my reviews!" W. says:

Um- I have had death threats from a stalker who actually found my personal info and posted it on Yelp. The . doesn't help.

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183

1 hour ago Padmae "Kat" K. says:

Wow. Does Yelp really allow full names--First and Last--to be searchable?
I can understand the disclosure of a first name and last initial since there's sort of an ambiguity to it, but anything beyond that is just wrong.

Be safe Michelle. I used to have a stalker in another state and it was the worst time of my life. :-(

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1 hour ago KayJay .. says:

let's get ready to rummmmmmmblllleeeeeeeee!

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Elite '08

226

1 hour ago Angelo "le Freak" F. says:

sucks Michelle....yes HQ might want to consider people who want to be anonymous AND elite.

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Elite '08

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1 hour ago michelle "bored with nicknames." L. says:

I love you KayJay. Don't hurt me :(

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1 hour ago Don "Hey... watch this!" B. says:

Restraing order is nothing but paper. I suggest you talk to Cootz before she goes back to Oregon. (NO JOKE)

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Elite '08

122

1 hour ago neil "Your Ad Here. Call 588-2300 today!" c. says:

Padmae, there is a member search link on the upper right, which allows you to search for a profile by full name or email. I can see the utility of it - most 'social networking' type sites have this feature. But yelp is the only one that has very strong geographical clues to a person's whereabouts, even on a day by day basis.

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242

1 hour ago Matt H. says:

Invest in a personal firearm and training courses. Good advice in general.

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1 hour ago KayJay .. says:

I hate to say it.. but it seems the Real name issue is starting to backfire for Yelp,making some of their longtime users easily findable and locatable.

Sucks. Sorry about all this hon.

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1 hour ago KayJay .. says:

add to the end of that: to those wishing to stalk/harm/threaten them.

cuz we're all findable and locatable up on this bitch.

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1 hour ago Suge K. says:

wow, michelle, i'm sorry that you're going through this. that sucks.

have you contacted the police? don't you have any 'friends' who can 'have a conversation' with this guy?

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Elite '08

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1 hour ago Dan V. says:

Why not change your Yelp name to Mary Smith?

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Elite '08

130

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1 hour ago michelle "bored with nicknames." L. says:

They can totally use the real names... I have no problem with being held accountable for what I say. But just don't let people search for (or in any other way expose) my full name!!~!!!!

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Elite '08

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1 hour ago Perci "for Obi-ron Paul-obi in '08" N. says:

So change your name and life goes on.

Not a difficult problem. Not a difficult solution.

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1 hour ago KayJay .. says:

neil "Your Ad Here. Call 588-2300 today!" c. says:

Padmae, there is a member search link on the upper right, which allows you to search for a profile by full name or email. I can see the utility of it - most 'social networking' type sites have this feature. But yelp is the only one that has very strong geographical clues to a person's whereabouts, even on a day by day basis.
----

add to the end of that: that come up as initial search results in Google if anyone in the world were to be looking for you.

Ok.. I'm leaving this thread now. Carry on.

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1 hour ago frisco j. says:

gee, flogging a dead horse must be fun, fun, fun!

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Elite '08

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1 hour ago Bella "Please FUC my reviews!" W. says:

Wow- so this is the prompt I get when I want to change my name:

- Do nothing. I want to remain Elite!

- Yes, make the name change, and remove my Elite status.

- Yes, make the name change, but please consider restoring my Elite status for this reason:

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Elite '08

331

514

1 hour ago Autumn "Fishface is the new black" K. says:

She has me. I can "have a conversation" with this "gentleman".

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183

1 hour ago Padmae "Kat" K. says:

Flogging a dead horse....perhaps.
But here is a real life situation that has affected someone's safety. Nothing to really do with the elite status debaucle.

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1 hour ago Basi l. says:

I got the same PM today, Michelle. I don't think I want to change my name. I'm thinking about it for a few more hours, but I think I'm done.

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Elite '08

150

1 hour ago Beau "This Is Not A Live Blog" G. says:

I see a new business opportunity for me as a hired goon for Yelpers.

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Elite '08

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1 hour ago Amy "A Rabbit in Nature Jumps from Here to There!" R. says:

This is a totally different issue from the whole elite status thing. I think if somebody is willing to follow you that far it's a serious problem that goes beyond the whole Yelp elite name issue. This is obviously an individual who is very motivated to track you down Michelle. I hope you're taking legal action against him. Restraining orders aren't magic shields, but it does allow you to take more serious action if he doesn't stop this.

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1 hour ago Ruthifer "Tastes like Sparta" J. says:

Ok...if someone was using Yelp to track me down and do bodily injury onto me, I'd simply delete my Yelp profile...

.....and go after that person.

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263

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1 hour ago Suge K. says:

michelle - have you asked yelp to ban his IP address?

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Elite '08

130

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1 hour ago michelle "bored with nicknames." L. says:

This is by no means a dead horse. The difference from previously discussed issues is that I WAS indeed using my real name, spelled correctly, where I could be held accountable for my actions, but adjusting it to make it non-searchable.

No, it's not a difficult problem, indeed. But it is a problem that could be rectified with a solution that allows people who feel threatened to continue enjoying the site without compromising their ability to live their lives. I shouldn't have to choose between being safe and being elite.

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1 hour ago Don "Hey... watch this!" B. says:

Hey! Maybe we can Goggle the 'gentleman' and give him our regards... possibly even camp out in front of his house? Ohhh BOY! What mischief can we Yelpers pursue to convince him to go back home~?

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Elite '08

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1 hour ago tinna "ahoy to the hoy!" h. says:

I might very soon be adding those dots back in. There are not very many people with my name. :/

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1 hour ago CINDY K. says:

OH MY GOD - I had no idea you can search for members by your registered email address *Changing RIGHT NOW*

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1 hour ago Starla D. says:

I am keeping Starla for this reason.
If you really are scared of being found I would change your name and say
"buh bye little Elite badge!! I'll miss you!! But in real life you just aren't really that fucking important. CIAO!"

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1 hour ago Ruthifer "Tastes like Sparta" J. says:

Yeah, I don't like the new requirements for being Elite. Which is why I'm not even trying for it. It's enough that I put my ugmug up so you people know what I look like. That should give me sufficient yelp cred. If not, f-- 'em.

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1 hour ago Suge K. says:

ah, don might be onto something - depends on just how unstable this 'gentleman' is. could go either way - could shame him into leaving you alone, or could push him to do something more drastic.

if you're from miami, certainly you've got to have 'friends' who can handle this. or let autumn at him.

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375

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1 hour ago the unoriginal Jessica M. says:

yeah, if i were yelp, which i'm not, i would consider how the world would perceive me if something bad ever did happen to a user who was found via this website, and their policy of frowning on users who don't have their EXACT, searchable name up while doing nothing to protect the privacy of the users was key to the incident happening.

anyway, it's really fucking stupid on their part.

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183

1 hour ago Padmae "Kat" K. says:

The dots are a smart idea and should be allowed.

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Elite '08

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1 hour ago roderick a. says:

wow, since when did changing your name become such a pain in the ass? Is this a new change for 2008, I didn't even realize it!

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Elite '08

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1 hour ago michelle "bored with nicknames." L. says:

This is also a problem that extends beyond the elite/non-elite issue. Someone signing up (or at least when I signed up) is not notified that their full name will show up in google search results.

As for me, it's too late to just 'suck it up' and change my name entirely. He already knows where I live, etc.

But for new users just signing up who don't realize the full implications of using their real name, this is a REAL problem.

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211

1 hour ago Mister J. says:

I hate to say this, but anything you post on the internet is searchable.

I still remember what a teacher of mine once told me years and years ago, 'Whenever you post anything on the internet, consider it to be like a postcard. Anyone that finds it, can read it.'

To this day, a search on my real name only yields a few results that are over 10 years old. There are more results out there that are accessible by paying a fee, but normally people interested in me aren't willing to spend money. :)

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242

1 hour ago Matt H. says:

http://www.nononsenses...

Read it, learn it, live it.

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Elite '08

122

1 hour ago neil "Your Ad Here. Call 588-2300 today!" c. says:

Jessica's right - this could be something that leads up to really awful PR, no two ways about it. There is undeniable utility in the way things are, but also a very real downside.

Michelle, I think starla's right - elite's just not worth it if they aren't going to address the real problem.

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Elite '08

1 hour ago Darin "I am the expert. I know the crap out of women." E. says:

Michelle that sucks...sorry.

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263

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1 hour ago Suge K. says:

TUJM - are you saying that one person should be the sacrificial lamb so that yelp comes to its senses? because i have a few suggestions....

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59 minutes ago frisco j. says:

michelle, i do wish you well, and i probably love yelp more than most people, but if this real name elite thingy is going to get me in trouble with stalkers, career, etc, i won't even think twice. change your name, please for your own protection.

as for me, lately i feel like i'm getting stared at more often than i used to. i'm not sure if it's related to yelp, but since i'm no longer elite anyway, i'm probably going to delete all my pics. just don't want to say coulda, woulda, shoulda later...

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Elite '08

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58 minutes ago Mick F. says:

Anyone that is crazy enough to come from Miami to follow you isnt going to let a period get int eh way of finding you on the internet.

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58 minutes ago Don "Hey... watch this!" B. says:

1 minute ago Padmae "Kat" K. says:

The dots are a smart idea and should be allowed.
------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ---------------------

Agreed. This is serious... I know where I was when I went "psycho" on someone 30 years ago, but had no malintent regarding the mis-communication. If someone follows a person 2.5K to just harass them, that's indicative of a real problem.
Suge... thanks for the recognition and you've brought out a good point. Maybe we should sorta get together and let the "gentleman" know she has a lot of friends.

This sounds like it could be a real problem.

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58 minutes ago the unoriginal Jessica M. says:

yeah, i think they need to hire a new legal adviser because whoever is telling them to be asshole nazis about the "real name" thing hasn't really done their research, nor do they have a marketing or PR degree.

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Elite '08

58 minutes ago Darin "I am the expert. I know the crap out of women." E. says:

Talk about paranoia...geez

Matt H. says:

http://www.nononsenses...

Read it, learn it, live it.

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Elite '08

56 minutes ago Darin "I am the expert. I know the crap out of women." E. says:

Seriously. This guy is pretty damn determined, I doubt any exception Yelp makes will help people in your situation.

Mick F. says:

Anyone that is crazy enough to come from Miami to follow you isnt going to let a period get int eh way of finding you on the internet.

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Elite '08

55 minutes ago monique "The Cat Lady" H. says:

Wow Michelle...sorry about your troubles with Mr I Don't Know What Go to Hell Means...be careful! Some vaid points presented here regarding using our real names.

I had a stalker ages ago, but some friends found out who he was and beat his ass...I don't have that luxury now.

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Elite '08

55 minutes ago Michael "The Dragon Slayer" M. says:

Stalkers are like bullies in that they specialize in picking on people who won't call for help -- for whatever reason. They also specialize in picking on people who just want the problem to go away. And they especially like picking on people who -- no matter how competent they are normally -- are at a loss what to do when the social rules are violated. In other words people who will not mount an effective counter-offensive.

They are however, like cockroaches, in that they cannot withstand their actions being seen in the light. Calling in help, flicks the light on -- and EVERYBODY is watching him. The smart ones end up scurrying to for cover, the dumb ones end up squished.
-----------------------------
Matt H. that link is awesome.

Michelle, I hate to say it, but posting this on Yelp is probably only going to hurt your stalker situation. The more fear you show, the more confidence he has that he's stalking the right person.

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Elite '08

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54 minutes ago michelle "bored with nicknames." L. says:

Okay, so this REALLY isn't just an elite issue. Once your name is out there in the first place, it doesn't matter if you change it later. It'll always be archived somewhere... so if you sign up, then change your name a couple of months later after you realize people can search for you on google, the damage has already been done.

The only real way I'd be able to hide is to take down my profile altogether, but even then, it might still be accessible somewhere.

No. Like I said, I will not live in fear.

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53 minutes ago Suge K. says:

michelle - what are you doing in the offline world to take care of this?

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53 minutes ago Don "Hey... watch this!" B. says:

Lets turn the tables.... Michelle, you got a name for us? Address? Link to pertinate info... or something Yelpers can have fun N games with?

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Elite '08

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52 minutes ago Mick F. says:

You know....i like you, and am concerned about your safety.,

So im going to flag this, and hopefully it will come down.

If you wanna keep going on about it, its up to you.

But, its a bad idea.

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461

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52 minutes ago KayJay .. says:

frisco j. says:

michelle, i do wish you well, and i probably love yelp more than most people, but if this real name elite thingy is going to get me in trouble with stalkers, career, etc, i won't even think twice. change your name, please for your own protection.

as for me, lately i feel like i'm getting stared at more often than i used to. i'm not sure if it's related to yelp, but since i'm no longer elite anyway, i'm probably going to delete all my pics. just don't want to say coulda, woulda, shoulda later...
-----

I will say that since Yelp is a community and I've made a lot of friends who have offered me a +1 if I ever want it, I've been happy with my decision not to change my name. I've felt much more privacy since i've deleted my photos as well. I no longer fear people I work with or used to date or keep calling me every day and hanging up on my voicemail (because I slept with him once three years ago and just can't seem to understand that I want nothing to do with him) can't find me so easily. Im also in the process of editing my old reviews to my nickname because, as michelle states, I never knew reviews were so high on the result meter on Google.

michelle, your safety is what should be most important to this entire Community... especially the managers of that community. If it means you don't have "Yelpitude" because you don't wanna get shanked.. then screw Yelpitude.

You have a ton of friends that will make sure you get to elite events. Your safety and privacy isn't that important.

I also agree that dots seem to be a good way for those who want it, to keep their privacy and their elite badges. Shame Yelp doesn't seem to agree.

Plus... hey Starla!!! You can now say "Eat a dick" to someone and not fear reprimand or loss of an elite badge. That's livin' right there lemme tell ya.

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51 minutes ago KayJay .. says:

oops.. I meant your safety and privacy is much more important than an Elite badge.

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Elite '08

50 minutes ago Michael "The Dragon Slayer" M. says:

If I were you, I'd post his name, address, phone number and a brief synopsis of his psycho-ness on CL and politely ask people to leave nasty messages telling him that he needs serious help. If you ever see him, grab the nearest normal looking guy and tell him you're being stalked. For the most part, people love helping each other out when the situation is serious. Tell your neighbors about him so that if you have to call for help, they'll have an idea of what you're dealing with. Give a close, trusted and intimidating friend a key to your place and have his cell # available in case you need help. No matter how much effort these stalkers put into it, he's still just one, pathetic, scared little person.

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Elite '08

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49 minutes ago Linda "night owl" T. says:

Actually, I've tried searching myself on both yelp & google & discovered...

The punctuation before your name does prevent your name from coming up on yelp if someone puts in your first name for the search index.

However, you still come up on google. I think it's because the google search goes by strings of letters, so it can ignore the punctuation in front. I'm guessing that if you want to use puncutation in your name, put it somewhere in the middle, so that it separates some of the letters & will hopefully prevent it from coming up on google search.

But I guess if you want to keep your elite status, you have to remove the punctuation from your name anyway.

But yeah, if the real name thing is going to get people in trouble with stalkers, career, etc., then I think it's not worth being elite. If you really want to go to events, you can always get people to +1 you.

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Elite '08

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49 minutes ago michelle "bored with nicknames." L. says:

Suge, I'd rather not say.

Please don't flag this. It's a very important discussion that I feel needs to remain visible to yelpland.

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48 minutes ago Kevin the Musician Magician M. says:

I share everyone's concern.

I trust that you did file a Restraining Order.

When they are violated (such as harassing you on Yelp), the psycho gets sent to jail.

Please file it today at the nearest cop shop.

Be safe!

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48 minutes ago frisco j. says:

the problem with the dot before the name thing or masking the real name thing from google search is that if you're a good stalker, you'd sign up for yelp, myspace, facebook, linkedin and other online communities, and then meticulously search for your victim based on his/her interests, likes/dislikes and so on. eventually, you will find your victim.

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47 minutes ago elrod "unavailable" m. says:

michelle,

if you're being stalked, the smart thing would to be not posting on public forums.

good luck with your stalker

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45 minutes ago Kevin the Musician Magician M. says:

Folks, it's illegal to stalk people.

The way you stop them is filing that "piece of paper," which if violated, often (not always -I know, I know) leads to the stalker being imprisoned.

Blaming the victim, in any way (such as implying she shouldn't post here) is unfortunate, to say the least.

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Elite '08

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45 minutes ago michelle "bored with nicknames." L. says:

It's not a matter or really wanting to be elite.

The damage has been done.
If I give up something, be it going to concerts, being elite, or anything else in my life because of this, he's won. I'm not going to let that happen.

Michael, I've already done most of that (except for the CL thing... I don't know his address).

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Elite '08

268

43 minutes ago Paul A. says:

michelle - if you ever need to go through the lengths of getting a restraining order, i kno someone who can help you out with that. but then you'd have to trek down here in the south bay. best of luck =)

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Elite '08

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43 minutes ago Mick F. says:

Im not blaming anyone....

Im merely implying that talking about it in a public forum isnt the best idea.

Context and comprehension dude.

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Elite '08

40 minutes ago Michael "The Dragon Slayer" M. says:

Unfortunately, restraining orders can be hard to get, especially since most stalkers have more experience, more free time and more lying skills than you do.

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40 minutes ago Don "Hey... watch this!" B. says:

What KayJay said...

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39 minutes ago Kevin the Musician Magician M. says:

I think NOT talking about it is the problem Mick. You were one of several who disagree.

Her being visible isn't a problem: her stalker not being ordered to cease and desist, and her feeling safe, is a problem.

I understand you think it's aggravating a difficult situation, but given he knows what he does, that's the least of Michelle's very serious problems.

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38 minutes ago Kevin the Musician Magician M. says:

"Michael "The Dragon Slayer" M. says:

Unfortunately, restraining orders can be hard to get, especially since most stalkers have more experience, more free time and more lying skills than you do."

Where do you get that information?

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38 minutes ago Pookie "Pookie" W. says:

Kevin - Being illegal doesn't stop something from happening before it actually happens. And, there are often behaviors that are scary and intimidating that do not cross the line of illegality.

it's a shame that yelp stubbornly adheres to this policy because it believes that it makes the site more marketable and beneficial to businesses when it has absolutely no positive benefit for yelpers.

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37 minutes ago KayJay .. says:

Kinda like when someone says they were raped and someone asks "What was she wearing? Ohhhh, a short skirt? Well, there ya go. She shouldn't have been wearing that."

pfft.

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36 minutes ago Pookie "Pookie" W. says:

Maybe Michelle isn't her name and maybe the damage has been done. I do appreciate her letting yelpers know about this, especially ones who haven't made an informed decision on the name issue.

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29 minutes ago Yvonne C. says:

Being stalked is surprisingly scary. Someone kept following me around with I was a student at UCLA, I was rude to him to no avail. My friends let me hide in the graduate lounge (it's in a locked room) instead of studying in the library while on campus. After I graduated and moved to Illinois, he still managed to find my address and send letters there. At that time I was clueless as to what steps to take and didn't do anything except try to avoid him.

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29 minutes ago Kevin the Musician Magician M. says:

Hey Pookie,

I'm very familiar with the limits of the efficacy of restraining orders.

I'm saying however in the strongest possible terms that it's Michelle's best and only move right now, and that "Yelp visibility" (to coin a term) is really a distant second to such a serious problem.

I'm also very concerned about some misinformation being posted here: people being stalked need to know they have resources, and that they need not tolerate it.

I have to get ready for a gig, but do hope this turns out well for all concerned: please let us know, Michelle.

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28 minutes ago Basi l. says:

Ok, I got rid of my elite status. I'm done.

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26 minutes ago Pookie "Pookie" W. says:

Okay, Kevin. I agree with all that.

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25 minutes ago Kevin the Musician Magician M. says:

"After I graduated and moved to Illinois, he still managed to find my address and send letters there. At that time I was clueless as to what steps to take and didn't do anything except try to avoid him."

*bangs head against desk*

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24 minutes ago tim "Thizzly Grizzly Adams" o. says:

i tried to look myself up in google and i couldn't find me. as for the stalker issue i found a simple solution i grew a mustache. no one stalks someone with a mustache!

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Elite '08

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22 minutes ago michelle "bored with nicknames." L. says:

:( I've probably got another 30 years until my old lady 'stache starts coming in.

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20 minutes ago Basi l. says:

I'm pretty disappointed with the "National Elite Council". Anyone who could read could see that my REAL name was L... but it couldn't be searched for. What is the harm in that?

Whatever, I'm done. I'll keep writing reviews every so often because it's fun, but no pictures of me and no more elite events. Whatever. I know a lot of wonderful people that I met through Yelp and I'm really happy to spend time with them, outside of Yelp-sponsored stuff.

I never knew that you could search someone by their email address and I have changed that now too. Scary stuff.

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18 minutes ago Pookie "Pookie" W. says:

Um, Shrimpy, where's my badge? Or am I just supposed to copy and paste it?

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15 minutes ago A J. says:

Having previously battled a very real stalker let me say this.

I can certainly sympathize with the thought that you do not wish to alter your life or the way you live it because someone else has decided to stalk you. You deserve to live as you please, and that someone else chooses to limit your freedom is deplorable. That being said, we must all consider the personal calculus of risk and exposure.

As a practical matter, immediate personal actions are the ones that protect you most efficiently. As trite and oversimplified as it sounds, when you're being chased by a man with a gun, now would not be the time to write to your Senator about gun control.

Personal safety first, then you can try to change the world around you. Stay focused...and take care of the most immediate problem. Good luck.

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13 minutes ago Leslie Z. H. says:

I'm with Suge, Ruthifer & Don, it looks like intimidation time for a certain person, in a big way.

Elite status is not worth life, safety or emotional trauma.

if not intimidation by regular folks, then by the cops if she can get that to happen.

Good luck Michelle!

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8 minutes ago wayne W. says:

is anonymity possible on the Internet? definitely not when you identify every business you frequent for blocks. Even if you took your pic and profile down, your reviews identify a pretty strong pattern, I'd say. I hope you stay safe Michelle, and your unhappy friend finds someone else to share his time with.

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Elite '08

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6 minutes ago michelle "bored with nicknames." L. says:

Let me just say that this has been going on for about 2 years, and he moved here about a year ago, and I'm still alive.

The only time I was concerned was after my *accident* when I wasn't able to walk, let alone escape should something happen. I know that sooner or later, he's going to get fired (again) from whatever job he has (and if he got my phone number through his job, it's going to be SOON) and end up having to move back in with mommy (again).

I'm still alive and living my life, and It's going to stay that way. Trust me.

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1 minute ago Omid "Omid T." T. says:

The search by email is a function of just about every site with social networking... Just so ya know.

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