4

4. 'Masculine Spirituality'

If we accept in principle that the need exists for men to articulate their identity, to once again be affirmed in their gender, and to seek ways of knowing God as men, what are the paths along which they might make such a journey? This chapter outlines principles from which reconstructed masculine spirituality might be sought, and the following chapter will try and spell out more pragmatic ways in which such an exercise may be nurtured within the church.

Reuniting spirit and body

'The Word, in order to touch me, must become warm flesh. Only then do I understand - when I can smell, see and touch.'[1]

The Jesuit writer Richard Rohr argues that for too long the church has been 'swirling in the false feminine…and is characterised by too much inwardness, preoccupation with relationships, a morass of unclarified feeling and endless self-protectiveness.'[2] What does he mean? In the classic Myers-Briggs formula men are portrayed as being Extrovert, Sensate, Thinking, and Judging - reality is 'out there'; women, on the other hand are Introvert, Intuitive, Feeling and Perceiving. With its emphasis on 'personal relationship', 'private devotion', 'life in the spirit' and 'feeling close to God', Christian spirituality today can perhaps be seen as appealing far more to the latter characteristics than the former. I believe, for example, that this tendency can be seen in the majority of new worship songs in the last twenty years. A few phrases from well-known choruses illustrate the point: “When I look into your holiness, / When I gaze into your loveliness…”, “When I feel the touch / Of your hand upon my life…”O Lord, you’re beautiful, / Your face is all I seek…”[3] There is nothing wrong with these sentiments in themselves, and this is certainly a selective sample, but the point is that it represents a general trend.

Christian activity seems to be understood as occurring mostly in the realms of the 'spirit' or 'soul', traditionally a female domain. But in a study Women’s ways of knowing: the development of Self, Voice and Mind, quoted by James Ashbrook[4], the authors claim that men tend not to trust an approach to life which relies on intuition and experiential knowledge, believing that '...an experiential approach to knowledge easily falls into the trap of subjectivity. As a check, therefore, men approach issues as objectively as possible. In contrast, many women prize experience.' A spirituality rooted in inward subjective truth is harder for men to grasp.

Men also see Mystery as external to them. Something to be penetrated and explored, not to be subjectively nurtured within.[5] Men can be frustrated by things which can’t be touched, seen, heard, judged. The task for the church is thus to recover the Jewish sense of the self as unifying mind, spirit and body and a spirituality which can make sense of this physical life. It is interesting, for example, that Judaism includes a berakhah (blessing) upon leaving the toilet, and thanking God for creating humankind with orifices by which things go in and come out.[6] It is ironic that in the most incarnational of faiths we have required physical experience to be 'spiritualised'. But there '..is a growing sense that theology must be grounded in this kind of experiential stuff. If we do not know the gospel in our bodies, perhaps we do not know it.'[7]

Men need to be encouraged to know God in their pain, their creativity, their sexuality, their youth, their taste in music, their ageing, their response to the created world. The resurrection of the body affirms the place of physical pleasure, and it is perhaps in this area that the Church has most to give men. But, for men who run from the vulnerability death brings, resurrection will enable them to be at home in this life because they will know that death is not final.

Discovering wholeness in the polarity of sexuality

This analysis so far has sought to counteract the dualism of masculine and feminine and body and spirit. In finding a way forward for men, a rediscovery of the biblical vision of the whole person who is not split into a higher spirit and a lower flesh is crucial.

James Nelson’s vision of the 'intimate connection' between sexuality and spirituality cuts a path beyond androgyny towards a wholeness for men as men. In affirming the body and sexuality, men can begin to see within their own bodies the capacity for spiritual growth. Anatomy is not destiny, but there is a complex and important relationship between anatomy and spirituality - we are our bodies, we don’t have them. And so what makes men anatomically male can provide clues for their spiritual identity.

Nelson explores the experience of men's sexuality as a way into masculine spirituality. What he calls 'Phallic strength' – found in the state of erection - provides the first clue. This strength can be affirmed as essential for a healthy masculinity, for '..without its integrated positive energy, man lacks direction and movement…the urge to extend himself from the mediocre.'[8] He also points out, however, that 'phallus' in our society has perhaps been replaced by 'priapism', which lives in fear of deflation.

Patriarchy and machismo relies upon this 'phallic state' being permanent. However, the picture changes if we think of the opposite of erection not as being deflation, but relaxation. Men need not idolise phallic power, not because they are to be ashamed of it, nor because the phallus is something to be embarrassed about, but because it gives a false sense of what God values in them. God values men as whole people, not just when they are standing in their 'phallic strength'.

Nelson argues that mens’ sense of wholeness will be found in understanding that which is their main awareness for the majority of the time - penis. He writes, 'The penis, contrary to the phallus, is a creature of the dark…But without the darkness there is no growth, no mystery, no receptivity, no deep creativity…Without the gentle dark, light becomes harsh.'[9] It is in the soft vulnerability and weakness of this state that men can move away from the values by which they are entrapped. Men's identity is to be found not in one state or the other but in both. In the polarity of penis and phallus men can be freed to explore the whole range of their emotional structure - a development which is vital for prayer and worship - activities which demand a whole sweep of emotions:

'The hard and explosive phallic achievement becomes in an instant the soft vulnerable tears of the penis. Both are fully male. Both are deeply grounded in a man’s bodily reality. Both dimensions of life are fully present when a man is most human.' [10]

The role of 'masculine archetypes'

This idea of a polarity in masculine spirituality has also been expressed through metaphors which seek to provide archetypes or blueprints for discovering a fuller male identity. For example, John Bell of the Iona Community has reflected on how the words describing Jesus as the 'Lamb of God' have different meanings in the New Testament. Amnos, in the gospel of John portrays Jesus as the vulnerable, innocent victim, while arneon in the Revelation of John refers to the Lamb as leader of the pack, a pioneer in areas of great risk.[11] Similarly, Richard Rohr uses John the Baptist and John the Beloved as revealing two ends of a spectrum in masculinity, corresponding to the 'deep masculine' and the 'common feminine'.[12] The latter is provoked by a meaningful interaction with women. These metaphors can provide useful frameworks through which men can explore the fullness of their identity.

But if, as McCloughry suggests, the journey of faith is that of moving from being a Christian to becoming Christlike,[13] in what sense can Jesus serve as the ultimate archetype for men as men? What clues can be found in him towards a more authentic masculinity? If Jesus is to have any meaning for men, we must affirm his maleness as a significant part of his humanity, while acknowledging that his humanity remains the important factor. We perhaps need to emphasise more the fact that Jesus was a man, as well as being God. The traditional approach, as demonstrated in most (though not all) artists’ portrayals of Jesus, has been to seek to emasculate Jesus in an attempt to find a divinely androgynous ideal. This has led to common misconceptions, by Bly and others, of Jesus as a 'blessed', but anti-erotic model of manhood.[14]

Indeed, God could be said to be exercising a gender bias towards the 'weaker sex' by sending Jesus as a man! Only by being a man could Jesus be in a position to undermine in his humanity the fractured, power-hungry and distorted masculinity that existed and continues to exist. He gives up the ultimate male power, allowing himself to be helped by a woman, and embracing pain and the vulnerability of death.[15]

Thus through his incarnation Jesus has two messages for men trapped in masculinity. He affirms their bodies, but also gives a message that they can be set free from conventional masculinity. He is simultaneously 'a compelling picture of male sexual wholeness, of creative masculinity, and of the redemption of manhood from both oppressiveness and superficiality.'[16]

Christ must, however, be seen only in this light. There is a danger that in adopting him as a 'manly model', Christians may turn him into either an unreachable ideal, or into 'the triumph of male power'. Preaching Jesus as the ultimate 'man’s man' may stir the heartstrings, but perpetuates the idea of salvation as a man’s project, where success or failure become the criteria. In contrast, Jesus offers wholeness based on the power of love, a much more life-giving reality than ideas of male domination can provide.

Reaching out - the problem of passivity

We now shift our focus a little away from those who perhaps have an established Christian faith, and more towards those who may be new Christians or simply on the fringe of the church community with no faith commitment at all. Here, a search for spirituality and evangelistic concerns coincide. Traditional evangelistic approaches to men have focused on a three-pronged strategy of providing interesting incentives to get men to a place where we can hear the gospel, preaching a message which emphasises their need for forgiveness and salvation, to which they must respond by becoming passive and receptive, and then calling them onwards into commitment (active). If we put this in Nelson’s terms, in order to become Christians, men are to embrace the reality of 'penis' before that of 'phallus', or in Rohr’s, to make the journey of 'John the Beloved' before that of 'John the Baptist'.

There is nothing wrong with any of these ideas in themselves, but my suspicion is that for a lot of men, the journey from 'power to love', or from 'strength to vulnerability' or from 'self to other/God' cannot be made through passive recognition of need in what could be described as the 'intuitive/feminine' consciousness. The journey that men are often asked to make will only happen once they have 'decided to learn', and have begun to be comfortable in a context where they can share their own stories. Perhaps alternative routes, which enable men to reach such a position, can be found.

Creative purpose and adventure

'...in a survey, 60% of women said that need or crisis precipitated their encounter with God. The self-sufficient male will not find this his experience. Rather, he needs to know where he fits in with God’s plan.'[17]

Richard Rohr laments the fact that in '...today’s culture men’s energies are hardly directed towards the creation of life and the production of real things.'[18] Yet, as we have seen, there is a need in men to extend themselves; part of their identity as men is revealed by the way they are anatomically designed to create. For Rohr, a part of masculine fulfilment is 'oriented toward work, task, and accomplishment,' and balanced masculinity 'shows itself in action undertaken for the sake of others.'[19] Similarly, other writers see the highest masculine impulse as being 'willed to a Higher creative impulse.'[20] While I would wish to assert that the need to be active and productive contributes partly to masculine identity, rather than being its fulfilment, it nevertheless may be this insight that holds the key for the church’s reaching out to men.

As we have seen, many men are suffering from a profound loss of identity and purpose. Thus, rather than waiting for men to passively accept the gospel, conversion (as an initial and ongoing process) may well come better in the context of active involvement in the community of faith, where in giving, men reach a place where they can receive. They become wedded to a Higher Purpose in the process of serving it. They don the mantle of John the Baptist before that of John the Beloved. Rev Chris Sunderland’s experience of working in an inner-city parish seems to back this up:

'Most men round here aren’t interested in the ideas the church has, but they will get involved, particularly with the practical stuff. They like to be part of the community…That’s the approach I take with them.'[21]

This approach is deductive in the sense that it sees circumstances and experience as being more important than ideas in conversion. Richard Rohr states that in putting ourselves into new situations we can find our viewpoint being changed.[22] Action and reflection are symbiotic in the Christian life. Men outside the Church need to be engaged in the former before they can be led into the latter. The question we therefore need to be asking about men is not so much 'How can they hear?' as 'How can they become involved so that they might learn?'

However, in seeking to call men by awakening a healthy sense of vocation, there are dangers to be avoided. I would suggest the metaphors of adventure, and of journeying, in which the destination is something other than our own development, provide a better language than that of the recent notion of being a 'Promise Keeper'. It seems to me that such language adopts criteria of 'success and failure', where failure is the certain outcome. There is a danger that spirituality is turned into a project, a game of merit and demerit, in which we are being watched to see how we are measuring up.[23] Some commentators have seen in the 'Promise Keepers' a replaying of patriarchal Christianity (in that it fails to ask men to lay down power)[24] and the perpetuation of a fundamentalism which translates the redundant Western values of masculinity into Christian terms.

Whole life Christianity

In the life of the Church, a persistent attempt to counteract the dualistic view that permeates much of 'Church life' (a phrase which, in itself, stems from dualism), and a consequent living out of our discipleship in every area of life will persuade men that Christ is relevant to their bodily, physical, concrete reality. We have much to learn from the integral perspective of the reformational worldview, which does not accept a distinction between sacred and secular realms in the cosmos.[25] Rather, a recognition that we are called to participate in the ongoing creational work of God will enable the church to be much more open to the positive possibilities for service to God in areas of life which concern working men. As one vicar has said, 'It's difficult for men to realise that their ability to earn money and provide for their families is a gift from God.'[26] If we are unable to affirm this ourselves, then men will never be able to see the church as belonging to anything else except another, more feminine, world.

Back to main index Chapter five

[1] N Kazantzakis in J Nelson, The Intimate Connection (London: SPCK,1992) p118.

[2] R Rohr and J Martos, The Wild Man's Journey (Cincinnati: St Anthony Messenger Press, 1992) p222.

[3] Written respectively by Wayne and Cathy Perrin; Keri Jones and David Matthews; Keith Green. In Songs of Fellowship (Eastbourne: Kingsway, 1991)

[4] James B Ashbrook in Thatcher (ed), Christian Perspectives on Sexuality and Gender (Leominster: Gracewing, 1996) p98.

[6] P Culbertson, New Adam - The Future of Male Spirituality (Minneapolis: Fortress Press,1992) p122.

[7] J Nelson, The Intimate Connection (London: SPCK,1992) p115. He is talking here of physical, external experience.

[11] John Bell, 'Men Only', Greenbelt tapes.

[12] Fr R Rohr, A Man's Approach to God, Lee Abbey tapes 1,2,3,4.

[13] R McCloughry, Men without Masks (Nottingham: Grove, 1994) p9.

[14] M Pryce, Finding a Voice (London: SCM,1996) p63.

[17] Derek Cook, We are his witnesses (Cumbria: Maranatha:1996)

[18] R Rohr and J Martos, The Wild Man's Journey (Cincinnati: St Anthony Messenger Press, 1992) p65.

[20] John Gaynor Banks, quoted in L Payne, Crisis in Masculinity (Eastbourne: Kingsway,1985) p44.

[22] Fr R Rohr, A Man's Approach to God, Lee Abbey tapes 1,2,3,4.

[23] 'It is about being totally unrelaxed in the presence of God because God is judging every fibre of our being and every thought in our brain 24 hours a day. John Bell, 'Third Way', October 1996. I doubt whether this was the original intention of 'Promise Keepers' at all, but the language we use can too easily influence our choices and patterns of behaviour.

[24] 'Promise Keepers assert a necessary connection between a patriarchal reading of Christianity and authentic manhood.' Mark W Muesse quoted in S Boyd (ed), Redeeming Men - Religion and Masculinities (Louisville: Westminster John Knox, 1996) p85.

[25] A Wolters, Creation Regained (Leicester: IVP,1986) p10.