The rest of the weekend was as normal as it could be. The usual trip to the health center because Aryana had somehow eaten soy again. Lady Methos was still glued to her computer looking for pictures of Angel. Doug was talking to his fish. Chris #1 and Chris #2 were out doing . . . something. The highlight of the weekend was Malkom telling people about the strange dream he had about some green and yellow alien invading the hall in the middle of the night. Maxwell had returned to the message boards on Sunday night just in case his assumption about the Midnight Staple Removers true identity was wrong. He wore regular clothes over his Squirrelman outfit and kept the mask in his pocket just in case there were other people milling about.

On Monday night Amanda came back from her trip home, so the Midnight Staple Remover should strike again. As midnight approached Maxwell went out as he had the night before and searched out the Midnight Staple Remover. Approaching the message boards he could see that she was already hard at work. Ducking behind the bush he removed his outer clothing and put on his mask. This time he approached the Midnight Staple Remover with complete confidence that he could win.

The Midnight Staple Remover stopped what she was doing and looked at Squirrelman. “And what, may I ask, are you?” she said.

“I am Squirrelman,” Squirrelman stated triumphantly.

“Squirrelman? What kind of stupid name is that?”

“It’s the name of the man who’s going to kick your hiney back to the dorms.”

“I think you are taking things a little too seriously Squirrelboy. I’m going back to removing my staples now so why don’t you go find somewhere else to be.” The Midnight Staple Remover turned and continued removing staples. Squirrelman moved to stop her. This was rewarded by a flying kick to the face. Squirrelman anticipated this move (it seemed like the only one she had) and grabbed her foot mid-kick.

Standing there holding her foot Squirrelman noticed that one of the squirrels that he so dearly loved was hiding in the bushes near the message boards. The squirrel seemed injured, most likely from staples, and was having a hard time trying to get away.

“Give me back my foot,” the Midnight Staple Remover said indignantly.

“Not until you promise to stop removing staples,” Squirrelman responded suddenly remembering that he had her foot.

“I’m not going to stop removing these staples until someone else starts!”

“Suit yourself.” Squirrelman promptly twisted her leg until she fell to the ground. Releasing her leg he moved to pin her but was kicked in the gut. The Midnight Staple Remover stood up as Squirrelman tried to regain the wind that had been knocked out of him.

The Midnight Staple Remover pulled out a second staple remover and stood with one in each hand waiting for Squrrelman to attack. Straightening himself, Squirrelman stared at the Midnight Staple Remover in a face-off.

After a few minutes of a staring contest Squirrelman decided that he was going to try to incapacitate the Midnight Staple Remover and lunged for her, fist aimed at her stomach. She sidestepped him and planted the sharp prongs of one of her staple removers into his outstretched arm, giving him a nice deep set of cuts. Squirrelman responded by elbowing her in the head.

“Owww, that hurt,” the Midnight Staple Remover said, rubbing the back of her head.

“That hurt? What, and I suppose you think this just stings?” Squirrelman said pointing to his bleeding arm.

“I suppose that would hurt a bit.”

“Well duh, and now I have to wash and sew this shirt no thanks to you.”

“Sorry I didn’t think I’d actually hurt you.”

“Didn’t think you would hurt me? What about the poor squirrels that you’ve killed with all those staples? How do you think the squirrels feel?” Squirrelman kneeled down and called to an injured squirrel that was watching the action from a bush. The squirrel looked at the Midnight Staple Remover and then cautiously limped over to Squirrelman’s outstretched hand. “How can you resist this cute face?” Squirrelman asked holding the squirrel up in front of the Midnight Staple Remover. “Those staples you keep removing are killing these innocent squirrels.”

The Midnight Staple Remover broke into tears. “I didn’t mean to hurt . . . I can’t believe I did this to it. I don’t want to hurt them . . . but . . . it’s so hard to stop.”

Squirrelman put his squirrel friend on the ground and thought about the dilemma facing the Midnight Staple Remover. Then he had an idea, “What if you put the staple in something rather than letting them fall to the ground? You could bring out a bag or something to put them in.”

“A bag? Hmmm . . . I hadn’t thought about that before. If I use a bag then the squirrels will be okay. Now all I need is a bag.” With that thought planted in her mind the Midnight Staple Remover walked off.

‘That’s it?’ Squirrelman thought. ‘Wow, that wasn’t so bad. I think I’m getting the hang of this super hero thing.’ Puffing up his chest Squirrelman began to follow the Midnight Staple Remover back towards the dorms. ‘Wait, my clothes.’ Squirrelman quickly ducked into the bushes where his clothing lay waiting.

After a quick change in the bushes Maxwell leaped out quickly to avoid being noticed. However he managed to jump out right in front of Amanda. (She had removed her mask but the rest of the outfit was still intact).

“Maxwell?”

“Amanda!”

“What were you doing in the bushes?”

“Um . . . Maxwell looked down and quickly noticed that he had forgotten to take off his Squirrelman gloves. He quickly stashed his hands in his pockets and hoped that Amanda didn’t notice. She did.

“You . . . you’re Squirrelman? Maxwell J. Maximus is Squirrelman? That is so weird.”

“You’re not going to tell anyone are you?” Maxwell pleaded.

Amanda thought about it for a moment, “No, I won’t, but can I be your sidekick?”

“Sidekick? Um . . . I guess so as long as it will keep you quiet.”

“Cool. Okay if we’re going to work together we need to know every detail about each other right?”

“Uh . . .”

“Right, then that means I get to ask you a question about yourself. This is something I’ve wanted to know for a long time and I know other people have wanted to know too. What does the J stand for?”

“The J?”

“Yeah, the J in your name. Everyone knows you’re Maxwell J Maximus but no one know what the J is. So . . . what is it?”

“I’m not telling you that,” Maxwell said defensively.

“Oh come on, I’m you’re sidekick now, it’s my job to know.”

“No it’s not!”

“Yes it is!”

“Is not!”

“Is so!”

And so the two argued through the night, well for the next five minutes anyway. Thus goes the story of the origin of Squirrelman. On that night U of O’s first superhero was born.