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The Bitch Sessions

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Independence Day

Well, this may come as a shock to a couple of million Geeks around the world, but Independence Day is/was not the ultimate sci-fi ever made and should not be cherished as such while you adorn Vulcan ears and read ancient comic books such as "Amazing Alien Tales" with a torch underneath your bed covers.

This was the most disappointing, boring, vomit-inducing and oevrhyped movie of the century.

Disappointing? Yes, because it was not the revolutionary sci-fi tale that we were promised. It was far too long and boring in parts.

The sentimentality of some moments was unbearable. And the corn was so thick that I was picking it out of my teeth. What about the end. Wank Wank! That was a terribly nauseating end, especially when that dickhead cropduster flies into the spacecraft, screaming "Guys, I'm back!"

And Americans, really, they don't seem to be able to make a movie that isn't actually a slide show promoting the good old Yanky values. The flag-waving propaganda was just so hard to handle at times (that's the vomit-inducing part).

More? You want more? Well, the acting was attrocious. Bill Pullman as the president would be equivalent to Groucho Marx as Queen Elizabeth. He was just so bad! And that was even more disappointing as he has shown his ability in other films. When he is told that his wife is dying, if the sound on your TV had temporarily gone off, you may have thought that he had been told that they would not be able to order out for pizza.

The cast was full of good actors. Will Smith has in the past proved that he is beyond the Fresh Prince of Belaire in movies such as Six Degrees of Seperation and Mary Macdonnel exhibited talent in Dances With Wolves. Harry Conick Junior luckily had a very small part in this before he was killed. He had also shown us his stuff in a couple of other movies such as Copycat.

Everything was just so neat and lovely. When the president's wife was found after her helicopter had crashed, she was lying calmly beside the vehicle, not a hair out of place, the door somehow lying on her lap (Don't know how that happened. Did she jump out and then the door came off?). Even after the city has been destroyed there are palm trees swaying in the breeze.

And that is not all the scientific inaccuracies either. What about things exploding in space when there is no air. What is it burning if there is no air? And the computer on the Alien ship that just happened to be compatible with the IBM that the idiots used to upload the virus.

The Aliens themselves were of more interest than the humans! The nice little touch at the end of a Jew and a black man saving the world cannot salvage this disgustingly underwritten film.

Simply? I hate this film!

Last updated: 28/07/00