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Reid Speaks with Rauline Janson!
Reid Stanton - Hello yFalminica! I am Reid Stanton. Here on YYY-FM we bring you the real news and current affairs. We tell it straight so the average listener - with below average intelligence - can understand the issues that affect them.
Today we are talking to Rauline Janson. She is a politician who is causing waves among local politics with her outrageous views on immigration and ethnicity in the yFalminican Republic.
Good morning Ms. Janson.
Rauline Janson - Good Morning Reid.
Reid Stanton - Well Ms. Janson perhaps we could start with your policy on immigration. What exactly do you want to be the laws applying to immigrants.
Rauline Janson - Well, Reid, I am very proud of my country and I don't think that there is any reason why we should be spending money on immigrants when our people are suffering. We should be spending more on the people we have here and giving them jobs rather than bringing in foreigners to the work.
Reid Stanton - But Ms. Janson, are you aware that the yFalminican government already has strict laws enforced that dictate that no more than one hundred immigrants are allowed in each year. And they have to be approved.
Rauline Janson - Well, that may appear to be so, Reid. But the immigrants are people who are from foreign cultures and backgrounds. They come here with their own religions and they refuse to become one of us, they do not assimilate. We are being invaded by these people who just don't want to speak our language.
Reid Stanton - Ms. Janson, the immigrants that come here are all from english speaking countries.
Rauline Janson - But that is exactly it. English is not the language of this country.
Reid Stanton - Ms. Janson despite the fact that the real language of the yFalminican Republic is not English but a strange dialect adapted from Arabic and Afrikaans, no one uses it anymore. Have you noticed that we are now speaking English?
Rauline Janson - Well, yes, but we have to preserve our culture!
Reid Stanton - We have no culture, Ms. Janson. We have imported our culture from other countries.
Rauline Janson - Yes! It is the immigrants that are bringing it in.
Reid Stanton - Actually, the country has been like this since '67 and there were no immigrants until '69.
Rauline Janson - Don't twist my words Reid.
Reid Stanton - I didn't use any of your words in that sentence.
Rauline Janson - Exactly!
Reid Stanton - OK, then. What do you think about the comparisons being made with you and the Australian politician Pauline Hanson?
Rauline Janson - She is nothing like me. She has red hair, I have black hair.
Reid Stanton - Is that a wig you are wearing?
Rauline Janson - No, I just have a very mobile scalp.
Reid Stanton - Aaaa . . . ha.
Rauline Janson - Look, Reid I don't have to take this abuse.
Reid Stanton - What abuse? This is what you will have to bare if you are to be a politician
Rauline Janson - Ever since I came in here you have been using my words against me.
Reid Stanton - Well it doesn't take much energy.
Rauline Janson - What? Listen keep the camera on me when I am talking.
Reid Stanton - There is no camera, Ms. Janson, this is radio.
Rauline Janson - I know that, I am not stupid.
Reid Stanton - Mmm, compared with a bowl of figs, maybe.
Rauline Janson - What did you say?
Reid Stanton - Nothing. Back to Pauline Hanson. Some say that you are in fact her in diguise, that you came to this country because your party was failing in Australia
Rauline Janson - Ridiculous. I am nothing like her. She is far too attractive. And has that marvellously alluring voice. I wish I was like that! Where did the cameraman go?
Reid Stanton - There are no cameramen . . .
Rauline Janson - Two dollars of chips with two pieces of fish! Look, Reid I am trying to run my business here, could you please leave my shop.
Reid Stanton - Ms Janson this the studio. This isn't your fish and chip shop
Rauline Janson - Number 24! Three pieces of fish with chip! Number 24!
Reid Stanton -Anyway, we have run out of time so we will have to wrap it up there. Thankyou for your time. Coming up next is Australian poiltician Pauline Hanson. Do you have any objections to that Ms. Janson? If you are really Ms. Hanson then you may have some trouble . . .
Pauline Hanson - Who are you talking to Reid, it is just me here. Pauline Hanson.
Reid Stanton -You just took your wig off didn't you?!!
Pauline Hanson - That's it! I don't have to take this. Get out of my house.
Reid Stanton - I am not in your house, Ms. Hanson, this is the radio studio.
Pauline Hanson - Where is the cameraman!?!
Reid Stanton - Ah, listeners. We will be back after a short break with Guru AL.
Pauline Hanson - Where is he hiding?
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