Chapter 4:  The Lady In Black

Since leaving Henneth Annûn, Debbie the Black, Frodo, Sam, and Gollum had traveled across increasingly harsh terrain which made Debbie feel grateful for clothing other than the black silk teddy she'd been wearing when she arrived in Middle-Earth.  The hobbit shirt and breeches (from Frodo and Sam) and the cloak and boots (from Faramir and the Rangers of Ithilien) were sturdy and warm, and much more suitable for travel.  She'd saved the teddy for...special occasions--mostly with Frodo, since Gollum insisted on watching whenever he was around, and Sam objected to this idea.  Frodo, however, had grown quite accustomed to an audience.  Debbie even suspected him of showing off at times for Gollum's benefit.

Now the little group stood on a low ridge, facing a sight more dismal than any they had encountered up to this point.  "The dead city," hissed Gollum impressively, waving a skinny arm toward the green-lit buildings ahead. "Very nasty place," he added unneccessarily.

"We can see that," Sam grumbled.  He shifted the weight of his pack onto his shoulder.

"It's not so very bad," Debbie mused.  "Kind of reminds me of the Emerald City in The Wizard of Oz."

Frodo edged closer to Debbie and shivered.  "I'm glad you have the Ring," he said.  "This place has such an evil presence that I'm not sure I could bear it.  I'd find myself standing right by the front gate, staring up at it like a great fool."

"Not that great a fool," said Debbie kindly.  "After all, the Ring is a tremendous burden to bear...for most people."

Gollum was already fidgeting impatiently.  "Hurry now!" he called as he bounded ahead.

Just as they passed the entrance to Minas Morgul, there was an eerie moment of total silence.  Then, with a roaring sound, the entire city flashed with vivid green light which spiked up in a solid column reaching into the sky.  Debbie's chestnut hair blew backward in the breeze created by the flapping of a huge, scaly, bat-winged creature as it swooped in to land on the city wall.  A helmeted Ringwraith could be seen on the creature's back, swinging his head from side to side as if he sensed their presence.

"Ooh...must go," Debbie murmured.  Suddenly, the hobbits realized with horror that she was walking forward, her eyes fixed on the Witch-King as if hypnotized.  Ignoring Sam's panicked cry of "Miss Debbie, no!" she stepped onto the walkway leading up to the city gates.

Frodo and Sam stood rooted to the spot with horror, and even Gollum could only watch as the Witch-King turned his head in Lady Debbie's direction...and then did a double-take.  If the wraith had had eyes, Frodo thought, they would certainly have popped.  He held his breath, waiting to see what would happen next.

What happened was that Lady Debbie winked one striking emerald eye at the Witch-King, then raised her hand to her lips and blew him a kiss.  The wraith clutched at his heart--or at least, the place where his heart would have been if he'd had one.  As the winged steed took off, the helmeted head continued to look back toward Debbie.  Giggling, she skipped back to rejoin the others.

"Miss Debbie!  You near gave me the fright of my life," Sam scolded.  "What'd you go and do that for?"

"Sorry, Sam, I couldn't resist," she answered dreamily.  "There's just something so fascinating about a man of mystery."

*******

The climb up the mountain stair was long and tiring, but at long last Frodo, who was in the lead, called out that he had reached the top.  Sam followed, and then Gollum, with Debbie bringing up the rear.  She looked up to see Gollum leaning down from the ledge above and offering her his hand.  A strange light was in his eyes and his grin showed a mouthful of broken teeth as he rasped, "Come to meee...preciousssss...."

Debbie flashed him her most dazzling smile and took his hand, letting him help her up the last few steps.  "Thank you, Sméagol...oof."  She flopped forward onto a wide ledge of bare stone which seemed to mark the end of the stairs.  Straight ahead was a large, dark opening leading straight into the heart of the mountain. 

Gollum was already moving toward the cave mouth and gesturing for the others to follow.  "Come on!" he called out impatiently.  "Still a long way to go!"

"We're not goin' nowhere until we've had somethin' to eat," Sam declared.  "Miss Debbie needs to keep up her strength."  He knelt down and began to rummage in his pack.  Suddenly his face took on an expression of pure panic as he pulled out several empty, dry leaves which had once wrapped squares of lembas.  "It's gone!" he cried.

"What, the lembas?"  Frodo leaned over to look at the leaves.

Sam stood up, eyes fixed on Gollum with a murderous expression.  "HE took it!" he screamed, and lunged toward the pathetic creature.

Debbie, however, caught Sam by the collar and held him back, while Frodo leaped up to restrain Gollum.  "Sam!" she shouted firmly.  "It's okay!"

"No, it's not!  He's taken all our food!"

"No he hasn't.  We may be out of lembas, but I was kinda tired of it anyway.  Look."  Debbie released Sam and rummaged around in her shoulder bag.  "The Rangers gave us some trail mix type stuff...and I've got some nutty bars...and oh, look!  Life Savers.  We should be fine."  She put her hands on her hips and looked sternly from Sam to Gollum and back again.  "Now then, I want you two to shake hands."  The two of them simply stood, glaring at one another. 

Debbie clicked her tongue impatiently.  "Look, this is one place where we are not going to follow the movie," she scolded.  "That'll just lead to a lot of tears and spider-bites.  We are not going another step until we're a team, got it?"  Silence.  "What's it going to take for you two to stop bickering?"

"Fat hobbit could play with the preciousss for Sméagol," Gollum suggested finally.  "Both hobbits could play."

"Sounds good to me," said Frodo, and began unbuttoning his waistcoat.

"That ain't fair!" Sam cried indignantly.  "The old villain gets his wish and what do I get out of it?"

"Me," said Debbie simply.

Sam wavered.

"It's fun, Sam," said Frodo, tossing his waistcoat aside and starting to pull down his trousers.

"All right...I s'pose...when you put it that way...."

Debbie smiled.  "That's the spirit."

*******

"Now, that wasn't so bad, was it, Sam?" said Frodo as he finished re-buttoning his waistcoat.

"No...I s'pose not...though I wish Gollum wouldn't keep score.  Fair throws me off my pace."  Sam tucked his shirt into his trousers.

"You'll get used to it," Frodo responded comfortingly

Debbie, already dressed except for her boots, pulled a small compact out of her shoulderbag.  She wrinkled her cute little nose at her reflection in the mirror.  "This place really is murder on my makeup," she sighed.  "And we're not even technically in Mordor yet."

"Precioussss looks lovely anyway," murmured Gollum lazily.

Frodo wandered over to Debbie and glanced into her bag.  Suddenly he reached in and held up what looked like a mass of thin, black leather straps with two three-inch spikes in the middle.  "Lady Debbie, what's this?"

Debbie took the item from him.  "Oh!  My black sandals!" she said with a pleased expression which quickly turned into a puzzled frown.  "Now, where did those come from?  I could swear they weren't in the bag yesterday."  She looked at them reflectively, then began to unlace her boots.  "Somehow I have a feeling I'm going to want these," she remarked.

"Why's that, Lady Debbie?" asked Frodo

"Well...remember I told you once that killing spiders doesn't mess up your karma?  I think we're going to not mess up our karma today."

They all looked at the cave entrance for a moment.

"We're a team," said Debbie.  "We can do anything if we stick together."

"Right," Frodo agreed.

"All the same," said Sam nervously, "I'd feel better if you'd sing us another one of your songs, Miss Debbie."

Debbie thought for a moment and then smiled.  "I think I know just the song."  She raised her voice in a hope-giving carol:

"When you walk through a storm

Hold your head up high

And don't be afraid of the dark

At the end of the storm is a golden sky

And the sweet silver song of a lark

Walk on through the wind

Walk on through the rain

Though your dreams be tossed and blown

Walk on, walk on

With hope in your heart

And you'll never walk alone!"

By the time she had finished the song, Frodo fairly glowed with determination.  Sam blew his nose loudly, but looked no less resolute.  Gollum crouched eagerly at Debbie's feet.  She smiled down at them all.

"So--are we ready?"

"YES!" they chorused, and all four strode boldly forward into the cave.

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