How I Spent My Summer Vacation
Chapter Eight: Hit With Cupid's Arrow
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July 11 This place is really starting to feel like home now that some of my stuff is unpacked. It had been a quiet week since Gandalf's arrival, with no new visitors from Middle-Earth. While it was nice to be able to work in peace, I did find myself almost hoping to see someone every time I opened a door or moved a piece of furniture. *Come on, portal,* I thought. *How about someone who's not three feet tall, not an elf, and not several millennia old this time? Oh, and who doesn't stink like horses.* This afternoon I found the box with the formal dinnerware which I inherited from my grandmother. I put the box in the kitchen and then went off to get some shelf paper to lay down before unpacking the dishes. When I opened the door, I found that my prayers had been answered--but I'm more convinced than ever that the portal has a twisted sense of humor. Boromir stumbled into the dining room with several thick arrows protruding from his chest. I dropped the shelf paper and grabbed his shoulders, turning him as he fell so that he wouldn't bleed all over my beautiful Persian rug. "Sorry," he mumbled as he hit the floor. I sighed at the irony of it all. "You know, I would have been really happy to see you fifteen minutes ago." "I'd have been happy to *come* here fifteen minutes ago," he replied through gritted teeth. "I'll call 911," I offered. "You mean the emergency number?" I guessed he'd been through a portal or two himself in the past. "That's very kind of you, but it's too late for me. I won't trouble you any further." He struggled to his feet and, before I could argue with him further or even give him a parting smooch, he crashed back through the kitchen door. Either the portal was open again already or it hadn't closed from when he arrived, because when I ran after him, he was gone already. All right, portal. Next time, please send me someone who doesn't smell like horses, is more than three feet tall, is not an elf, is not ancient, and is not *dying*. Please? Lisa
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