Expressions for High Stress Days

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1. Well, aren't we just a ray of fucking sunshine?
2. Make yourself at home. Clean my kitchen.
3. Not the brightest crayon in the box, are we now?
4. A hard-on does NOT count as personal growth.
5. Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after.
6. Do I look like a fucking people person?
7. You! Off my planet!!
8. I like cats too. Let's exchange recipes.
9. I wish for world peace, harmony and nakedness.
10. Let me show you how the guards used to do it.
11. See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
12. Allow me to introduce my selves.
13. Whisper my favorite words: "I'll buy it for you."
14. Give me a minute. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
15. Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes?
16. I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.
17. How many times do I have to flush you before you go away?
18. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
19. It's sick the way you people keep having sex without me.
20. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
21. Can I trade this job for what's behind door # 2?
22. Okay, okay, I take it back! UNFUCK YOU!
23. Just smile and say "Yes, Mistress."
24. Mommy, I want to grow up to be a neurotic bitch just like you.
25. A woman's favorite position is CEO.
26. This is a mean, fucking cruel world and I want my nappy and medication right now.
27. Everyone thinks I'm psychotic except my friends deep inside the earth.
28. Earth is full. Go home.
29. Is it time for your medication or mine?
30. And which dwarf are you?
31. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
32. I'm trying not to have big thoughts that my brain can't handle.