Norway - Karasjok

Around the World with Hardy(T)

Norway - Karasjok

You wouldn't wish a night in Karasjok on your worst enemy. Unfortunately, the vagaries of the Norway to Finland bus timetables make a stopover in the Same capital inevitable. Karasjok does, however, possess a very interesting Same museum, a shopping centre that would be the envy of, well, every small town in the middle of Lappland (supermarket, police station, video shop) and The World's Worst Youth Hostel.

Scene One: Hardy(T), somewhat weary from a night spent 'sleeping' in a bus shelter not a million miles from Nordkapp, arrives at the Karasjok Vandrershjem which, in truth, is nothing more than a mottley collection of wooden huts in a field beside the river.

Pimply Teenager Posing as Management #1: You're in Room 2. The key's in the door.
Exit H(T) in the general direction of Room 2, which he finds locked with, much to his surprise, no key in the door.
H(T): Err, it's locked and there's no key in the door.
PTPaM#1: Ah yes. Here's the key.

H(T) goes to Room 2 and drops off his gear before 'enjoying' a refreshing cold shower.

Scene Two: H(T), not tempted by the BBQ reindeer at the nearby Same restaurant, then attempts to cook in the primitive 'kitchen' (a single electric ring) in Room 2. Alas, there are no pots, so H(T) has to warily ask at reception to borrow a pot.

Pimply Teenager Posing as Management #2: Yes, you may borrow a pot, but make sure you wash and dry it before you bring it back. There's washing up liquid and a tea towel in the room.

Seemed fair enough. Of course both of these cleaning accoutrements were figments of PTPaM#2's imagination, assuming she had one.

Scene Three: Undeterred, H(T) attempts to do his washing. "Please contact reception before using washing machine or dryer" proclaims a sign in the laundry, so our hero dutifully trudges back to Reception, purchases said tokens and puts on a load.

Scene Four: An hour has passed and H(T) returns to the laundry expecting his washing to have finished. Instead he finds the washing machine unplugged, still halfway through its cycle. Another visit to Reception swiftly ensues.

H(T): why have you unplugged my washing halfway through its cycle?
PTPaM#1: You can't use that electricity - it costs money. You should have come to Reception and bought a token.
H(T): Grrrrnmmmphh ffffwrrrtttsshhhhplllllng *&@!&%&$%$^!$**(!&^@%!

H(T), probably because of the fluent Same uttered under the guise of good old English expletives, receives a free token and returns to continue his washing.

Scene Five: H(T) thinks he'll watch some TV while his washing's doing. Alas, there's no remote control for the TV.

H(T): There's no remote control for the TV.
PTPaM#2: No, we can't leave them in the rooms in case people steal them.
H(T): I won't steal it.
PTPaM#2: I'm sorry. If you want to change channels you have to ask at Reception and we will come to the room and change channel for you.
H(T): Gnnnnaaaaaggghhhhhh, wwwwhhh......
PTPaM#2: And don't forget to clean the room before you leave in the morning! The mop and broom are in your cupboard.

Scene Six: H(T), now well and truly beaten into submission by the Pimply Ones, opens the broom cupboard. Yes, you guessed it, Empty Cupboards 1, Cleaning Equipment 0.

And on that note, exit Hardy(T) bound for Finland...

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