authoru noto : D lol.

alright, so i’m at my computer all being stupid, then what’s this i see in
the bottom corner of my screen? losty-chan has signed onto msn. which got
me thinking about debauchery, and how i haven’t updated … and then after
teasing her about characters dying, i just had to keep typing : D so,
thank her. and death. and unpredictibility. and panic at the disco.

oh, and this is a boring chapter.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx commence the gay xxx

xxx Coy’s POV xxx

I talk to Damian during cooking. Mrs. Worthing paired us up, which I’m kind of regretting because it means I have to tell him its over. Well, not over because there wasn’t really anything in the first place, but I have to tell him that Keith’s my boyfriend now. For some reason beyond me, I’m worried how he’ll react. Sure, he knew I didn’t actually like him, but I still think he might have liked me just as much as he let on.

“Psst, Damian …” I say quietly, because Mrs. Worthing is too strict about talking. He looks over at me with his overbearing smile that has, to tell the truth, gotten a little annoying over the weeks.

“Hey!” he says back just as quietly, but more enthusiastically, adding to my suspicion of his feelings. He continues before I get a chance to talk. “Do you wanna do something after school?”

I wince a little and scratch the back of my head nervously. “Yeah, um, that’s the thing … I’m, sort of with Keith now.” I manage to get the sentence out, as ineloquent as it is.

“Oh,” is all he says, which irritates me. He should say something! Anything! “Good then.”

“Yup!” I say cheerily as we turn back to the front of the class, at least appearing like we’re listening. I don’t have to, I’ve been making this for three years, but Damian might need to hear what the teacher has to say. “Very good indeed. Thanks for your help, too.”

He nods and swallows hard. “Y-yeah … well, if you guys, you know … break up, I-”

I cut him off, getting a bit angry. “We won’t.” I know what Damian was going to say, and I don’t want him offering himself to me.

“But you can’t honestly expect to -”

“Damian.” I say forcefully, and turn to him again. “You’ve been really nice to me over the weeks, and I appreciate it, but shut UP.”

He looks offended, and I can’t imagine why. He was basically asking me out when I have a boyfriend, wasn’t he? I might be overreacting, but still. He knows I don’t like him, right?

“Well, sorry, I was just -”

“Don’t.” I interrupt him harshly yet another time, and I’d hate me by now. “I’m not interested.”

I expect him to deny that he was ever implying that he was interested, and that he wasn’t hitting on me at all, and that I’m jumping to conclusions. So of course, what he says next throws me off:

“… Not at all?”

I look him in the eye, feeling sorry for him, and guilty for having to turn him down, but I hope I stress this point. “I’m reeeeally not, Damian. I like Keith.” I pause and soften. “Sorry.”

“S’alright,” he mumbles like a petulant child and turns back to the front, cupping his chin in his hand and resting his elbow on the counter. It’s a relief, really, because if I did feel something, I’d probably have to kill myself out of shame.

xxx Keith’s POV xxx

I’m waiting for Coy at the east edge of our school, near the fields. I’m standing on a cement divider on one side of the parking lot that looks out over the grass, because the sports fields are actually quite pretty in the snow. Students of all grades are abandoning hierarchy statuses (Well, sort of, eighth graders are still being harassed) and frolicking in the snow. Symbolic when you think about it, isn’t it?

I sigh contentedly as my eyes fall all a couple near the goal posts. They’re holding hands and doing the same thing as me, watching everyone. I smile when I realize I look just as happy as they do when Coy’s around … I wonder if other people think we look happy together. Come to think of it, where is he?

Sometimes I think he can hear my thoughts, because not long after that thought crosses my mind, I feel bare arms snake under mine and up my chest. A second later, teeth bite at the back of my neck and pull on one of my chokers as shivers dance down my spine. Crimson wisps of hair curl against my cheek, far too bright and unnatural to be anyone other than Coy’s. His hands press insistently against my ribcage.

“Hey.” I say quietly and tip my head back. He laughs, muffled slightly by his lips still on my skin, and he opens his mouth, sucking hard on a muscle in my neck, and I don’t know whether to laugh or groan, so I stay quiet. He stops after a moment and kisses the same spot.

“How was your day …?” he mutters, and I find it a very odd question at a time like this, or at any time for that matter.

“Fine …” I say warily, and he pinches me through my hoodie before he releases me. My hand instantly flies to my neck, which is still wet, and it stings in a good sort of way. I’m sure he left a mark, and I wonder if he meant to. He circles the cement block to stand in front of me with a goony grin.

“Did you just give me a hickey?” I ask dryly, and he nods vigorously, obviously amused. I sigh and rub his spit off me, not looking away from his eyes. His smile shifts into a smirk.

“You’re blushing, Kei.”

I scowl at him. “So? You blush way easier than I do!”

“No I don’t!” he retorts, and I cross my arms in a determined sort of way.

“Blow job.” I say with a grin, wanting to prove him wrong. He turns away quickly, but not quick enough to hide the fact that he’s blushing like mad. “See? You blush if I even say that!” I laugh again and take his hand, tugging him down the slope to the field. He huffs in annoyance, but I feel him move his thumb over the back of my hand. I love it when he does that, a kind of … security washes over me, as stupid as that sounds. We yammer about random things on the walk home, which makes me ecstatic because it means we’re still friends too. It’s wonderful, he’s wonderful.

However, when we get close to his house, I feel the need to bring up a topic I probably shouldn’t have.

“Hmm … Coy?” I say innocently to get his attention. He doesn’t look down at me, but that’s fine, because when we’re walking, he never looks at me. Knowing him, he’d trip if he did.

“What is it?” he asks.

“… You’re gonna want to have sex, right?” I ask him, and his grip on my hand tightens, probably by accident, and his nails dig into me. He jumps, I wince. “Ow …” I pull my hand out of his and rub at the half-moon nail marks on the back of my hand.

“Sorry!” he yelps instantly, and his now-free hand rubs his neck as he always does when he’s nervous. “Well, I just, um … I mean, I haven’t really …” he starts to trail off in answering my question. “… maybe.” he finally finishes, and we’re at his front walk now.

“Hmm …” I mumble absentmindedly as he pauses on his stoop to search through his backpack for his house keys. Just as he finds them, I step forwards and push the length of my body against his, he stumbles back against the door, wide eyes fixed on mine as I kiss him hard on the mouth, but it’s quick. I pull back.

“Very maybe …” I whisper and kiss him again, hands wandering down his sides. “Very-” I stop and kiss him again. “Very-” another kiss. “Very - maybe.” He gives a low growl, so I go back to a longer kiss. His hands rest on my hips as I stretch up to reach him, my heels slip out of my shoes and I run my tongue over the roof of his mouth to feel him shiver. He contorts his arm behind his back, and I hear a jangling of keys … I press harder against him still, and he makes a soft whine when the doorknob bites into his lower back. He struggles with the lock, and I nearly laugh when I realize it’s because he doesn’t want to stop kissing me. That’s an ego boost …

His lips stop moving, followed quickly by the opening of the door. We practically fall through the threshold, he drops his back as his hands grip my forearms, keeping me upright as he bumps against the banister of the stairs. Trixie yaps around our feet; I almost want to kick her away, and I would if she wasn’t so goddamn cute …

“Coy, honey!”

Fuck. I’ve never seen him jump so high in his life. His mother sticks her head in from the kitchen, we’re well apart by now.

“Oh!” his mom smiles at me. “Hello Keith,”

“H-hi Mrs. Russel …” I say sheepishly. I figure if I just avoid the topic ‘I’m the boy that’s sticking his tongue down your son’s throat’, I’ll be alright.

“Hey mom!” Coy says jovially and kicks his backpack into the closet, I do the same, but just place it carefully. He stands on the bottom step of the staircase. “We’ll be upstairs, alright?”

Mrs. Russel nods. “Of course! I’ll be grinding coffee down here, so you should probably shut the door so you don’t hear me, okay?”

“Okay!” we say happily and I pad up the stairs after Coy, then down the hallway to his room. The minute I’ve closed the door, I’m on him. The kiss, however, is short. He stumbles over a pile of books on his floor and steps back. I laugh and go to kiss him again, but he raises his hands to my shoulders and holds me back. I puff my cheeks out in an angry frog pout.

“What the fuck is it now?” I ask more insensitively than I meant to, the ‘fuck’ just came out. He looks oddly hurt.

“Um …” he back-pedals until he’s sitting on the bed. I step over the piles of books until I’m standing in front of him, brows furrowed, not understanding why he’s stalling.

“What?”

He clasps his hands between his knees and stares at them, his hair swoops down and covers his eyes.

“I lied, earlier … I don’t want to have, um … sex or anything …” he mumbles. My eyes widen. Oh. “… I just … not … yet … it’snotthatidontlikeyouIdoIsweardon’tbreakupwithme …” he rambles the last part so fast I don’t really understand him.

I sit in shocked silence until he finally looks up at me, features twisted into something so utterly heartbreaking. “I’m really, really, really, REALLY sorry Keith …” his voice cracks.

Without a second of thought, I throw myself at him. I feel his muscles tense under me for a moment, but not for long once he realizes this is just a hug, nothing more. I hold him tight, hands trying to get a hold in his polo. My face is pressed in his neck, and I kiss him several times, I’m in his lap, but I’m not even thinking about that, I just can’t believe I made him so goddamn sad, I didn’t mean to pressure him. I just didn’t know he was so apprehensive, he seemed as eager as I did, I had no idea this was such a big deal, and I can’t believe I almost made him fucking CRY …

I whisper quiet nothings against his skin, not unlike a mother. Or a girlfriend. “… shh, I’m sorry, alright? We don’t have to, I just didn’t know …”

His arms slowly wrap around me, and I sigh in relief, because he isn’t mad.

“I’m sorry for being such a wuss …” he buries his nose in my hair. “Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry …”

“Stop saying sorry you dork.” I laugh quietly and kiss him again. “You’re queer, you’re allowed to be like this.”

His hands move to the back of my head, cupping his hands and cradling it in a way. “I guess … but you wanted to … didn’t you?”

I pull back to look at him because I want to, but I can’t really figure out why I need to. I just … do. It’s one of those moments.

“… It’s alright, I told you, I’m fine Coy! Calm down …” I smile then pause, giving him a skeptical look. “You will want to eventually, right?”

He grins that cute, crooked grin of his. “Eventually.”

I kiss him softly once on the lips before climbing off him. I look around his room … jeez, it’s gotten to be a bit of a dump, there’s books everywhere. I knew he read, but not this much. They’re in stacks all over the room, and they’re all at least up to my knees, except for the ones we tripped over. “Good.” I look over my shoulder at him. “Because I’m not going to be able to resist your gorgeousness for much longer.”

He blushes a cute pink for the second time this afternoon, and I’m tempted to say ‘blow job’ again and kneel in front of him just to see how red I can get him, it’s like a game. Before he gets a chance to say anything else, I change topics. “What’s with all the comics?” I ask, picking one off the top of a steep pile, looking at the creepy bug eyed clown-thing on the cover that’s incredibly unsettling.

“Oh, those.” he says, scootching back until he’s against the head of his bed. He grabs the remote off his night stands and flicks on his TV. “Well, when you first kissed me, I got really nervous and agitated, so I dug up every single manga I had to calm me down … I was up until midnight.”

I examine a few more series before leaping on the bed and snuggling up against him. “Really? You read all these?” I settle my lips gently against his upper arm.

“Yup.”

“Ever those?” I point to the ones near his laptop.

“Yup.”

“Aaaand those?” I point to the ones on his window seat, nestled between pillows.

“Yessir.”

“Wow … all that because you were nervous?”

“Mmmhhm. You - tend - to - have -” he kisses my temple with each word. “- that - effect - on - me.”

We sit like that for what was probably hours, watching TV like the lazy asses we are, just lounging and holding each other. A feeling of complete contentment runs through me when I snuggle into his chest, it’s just everything about his moment combined. Perfect weather, drizzly and slushy, perfect position, perfect TV show. But, at around six, the phone rings. Coy puts down a box of crackers we were munching on and he swings one of his legs over me to get to the mobile handset sitting on his nightstand.

My jaw’s set as I tilt my head and stare up at the ceiling, trying desperately to think of anything other than his hips pressing so delicately against mine.

“Hello?” he answers the phone, but he doesn’t move, he keeps one hand braced against the edge of the nightstand to stay where he is, and I grind my teeth a little. There’s an odd feeling rising in the pit of my stomach …

“Mmhmm … okay, sure! Kay … bye.” and he hangs up. To my frustration, he doesn’t move right away, but he shifts up so more of his weight is pressing onto my hips.

“Who was that?” I ask with only a little difficulty.

“Oh, Lauren.” he says cheerfully and settles into my lap. “She’s coming over, alright?”

“Yeah, that’s fine …” I reply after coughing, and go to continue but he cuts me off.

“Good! She’s bringing Metroid because her gamecube broke, and she’s ‘desperate’.” he laughs, then pauses a bit at my expression. “What’s wrong …?” he asks, voice laced with genuine and unnecessary concern.

“Um … can you get off me?” I mumble quietly. He looks a bit caught off guard, and he lifts a bit of his weight off me.

“Sorry, am I too heavy?”

I give him a very pointed look. “That’s not quite the problem.”

He must get it, because he raises his eyebrows, blushes as red as elmo, and jumps off me. After situating himself next to me with only our arms touching, I can practically feel the tension radiating of his skin, probably just as he could feel the lust radiating off mine. I can’t help it though! He can’t possibly be mad at me, has he seen him?! How he gets any work done is beyond me.

“… Sorry Coy.” I mumble again, feeling like I violated him to a certain extent.

He sighs and kisses my forehead. “S’okay, you’ll just have to wait.” I spin to face him with a petulant expression.

“Nooooo …” I whine and kneel on his bed, leaning towards him. My hands slide to his shoulders and work into his hair. “… You’re too pretty to wait for …” I say, discreetly moving forwards until one of my knees are between his.

“Keith …” he breathes, his tone carries a warning note, but he doesn’t push me off. I kiss him slow and deliberately, it’s coarse, warm and has a sweet tasting backlight. He bites my lower lip, and that same kind of feeling triggers in my lower stomach. I press harder until his head hit’s the wall, then I grab his hand, massaging it in both of mine, toying with his rings. I feel his body relax as I do so, but he tenses again when I place it on my chest. He pulls away from my lips just long enough to whisper my name with that same apprehensive tone, but I kiss him to silence any protest.

With his heavy hand still in both of mine, I slide it to my neck, then across my collarbone and down my chest, his fingers carefully spread out, cautiously tracing the lack of muscles across my chest. Even such a light touch through layers of clothing sets my body on fire … my hands slowly fall from his, just to see what he’ll do. I’m pleasantly surprised when he doesn’t take it away, he even moves it lower, across my stomach. The twisting feeling returns, and I grab his face, pulling him closer to me and kissing him nearly viciously as his fingers curl into the hem of my jeans. He groans into my mouth …

“Oy! You two! I don’t need to see that!”

Lauren’s voice reaches our ears, muddled by a lust-filled fog. I slowly open my eyes and tear my lips away from Coy’s with a soft wet noise. His eyes are half-lidded and heavy as he looks back at me. I slowly move off him and flop at the foot of his bed.

“Oops … did I interrupt something …?” she asks warily, taking a few steps into the room.

“No, it’s okay.” I say, but all three of us know that I’m lying. Lauren knows us too well (and there’s a chance she saw how low Coy’s hand was going), and something must have been going on in Coy’s head. Only when Laur moves again so I realize she’s got a duffle bag over her shoulder. “What’s in the bag?” I ask her.

She grins. “Metroid, Animal Crossing, Splinter Cell and a bunch of other stuff, I’m sleeping over whether you like it or not.”

I don’t have a problem with it, because with all the stuff that’s been going on lately between Coy and I, we haven’t had a chance to hang out. I look over at Coy expectantly.

“Great!” he beams. “D’you wanna play gamecube first? I know yours is broken …”

She flings her duffle bag against his bed and rummages through it until she pulls out a game and starts it up. While it loads, she looks back at us. I’ve scootched back into Coy’s arms, previous awkwardness somewhat forgotten.

“Hey. Kiss again.” Laur pressures. I tilt my head back to look at Coy, who’s predictably flushed red.

“Why?” I ask dryly, looking back at her. She smiles in a scary way, practically cackling.

“Because, I already told you, you guys owe me for putting up with your stupid stubborn infatuation.”

“But … why do you want to see us kiss?” Coy asks her. I don’t miss the slight quiver in his voice.

She huffs and turns around, kneeling on the ground and resting her elbows on the edge of his bed. “Because. I may act like a man at times, but I’m still a girl, and you guys are fucking HOT.”

I’m pretty sure we both blush this time. Sure, it’s flattering, but it’s a little odd coming from Lauren. I’ve never thought of myself as particularly outstanding, and I know Coy doesn’t, so it’s just unnatural to hear it. “Um ..” Coy’s the first to get his voice back. ‘… thanks? … Alright …”

Without much warning, his hands are on my hips, lifting me into his lap once more. He shifts under me, positioning so Lauren gets a good view of us, then he kisses me with a smile, making a show of sliding his tongue between my lips. I bare my teeth, scraping them gently along him, biting his lip and chewing his tongue in a sort of way. I’m going to assume he liked it, because his hands tangle in my hair and he exhales deeply out his nose. My sanity is slowly seeping out the soles of my feet, quickly replaced by a wild, all consuming lust.

Just before I completely lost control, he holds me back. Temporarily forgetting Laur, I pull my lips back in a feral growl. I stare intently into his icy blue eyes and watch them flicker behind me to Laur, who’s gaping. The fog clears, so to speak, and I leap off him, slinking against the wall, knees drawn up to my chest, hands covering my face. I’m completely and utterly humiliated at being caught acting like an animal in heat.

Laur does a low catcall. “Thaaaaanks!” she coos, obviously happy, and the turns back to the game. Or so I assume, because sound effects start up. I can’t see though, because I refuse to move my hands off my face. My blood’s boiling beneath my skin in humiliation and excitement, and I can’t yet calm down.

How the fuck can Coy do this to me? With a single kiss he can drive me over the edge, he’s the first person I’ve ever kissed, and I’m not used to this. I’m incredibly embarrassed because he never gets as … excited as I do. I’m this horny little ball of energy, and he’s always calm and collected, so maybe he doesn’t even like kissing me, and he just does it because I obviously like it so much.

I’m not sure if I love him or hate him at this moment. No one has ever filled me with this level of need, and I’m not fucking used to it! I’m surpised I’m not hard, honestly. I feel a hand on my shoulder, and when warmth seeps into me, I twitch away from him.

“Keith …” he says quietly. Being the corrupt little boy I am, I bask in how wonderful my name sounds in the tone he just used. “Are you alright …?” he sounds concerned, but a little scared.

“I’m … fine.” I tell him, voice muffled by my hands that haven’t moved.

“Well .. Then what’s wrong?” he peruses quietly. I feel him lean against the wall next to me; our shoulders brush.

I tell him the only thing on my mind. “This is really wrong.” I admit, because it’s true. I shouldn’t feel like this.

“What is?” he whispers patiently. Laur’s game noise is still going, and if she can hear us, she gives no indication.

“You know what I mean.” I say pitifully. “We’re only sixteen.”

“True.” he agrees. “But that shouldn’t matter, should it? It’s not like I picked you up off the street, I’ve known you since we were seven.”

I think over what he’s said. “I guess.” is all I can think to say in return.

“Good. Do you wanna show your face now …?” his tone is tender, a lot like a mother coaxing a child. I can’t (and never could) resist him, so I drop my hands to my knees and carefully look up at him. He doesn’t look angry, or sad, which I take as a good sign. He smiles gently.

“There. Do you want to sleep over?” he asks, and I think for only a moment about my answer.

“I’ll try.” I say meekly, resting my chin on my knees. For a few minutes, we watch Laur play her stealthy-like video game, and I think I’m normal enough to stretch my legs. After I get all the kinks out, I sigh. This is going to be a tough couple of weeks … he’d better change his mind.





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