Lethargic, drowsy new day sun...reluctantly emerging...widening over the New Mexican horizon....
Early morning light...pastel...soft...fresh...unsullied...filtering through the bathroom skylight.
Razor...rapping...sharp...harsh...dissonant...against ceramic
Launching a barrage of foamy blobs that splatter mirror...sink...countertop...cheek [barely missing an eye]
Unanticipated attack startling awareness back.
Eyes refocusing...taking in the mess...
How long? Standing there?
Long enough...for shaving cream to dry in white leprous patches
splotching across his skin.
How long...lost in a miasma of loathing...jealousy?
Razor falls...drops...bouncing in the sink.
Palms flat...arms braced...spanning the mirror
Elbows bend...lowering body forward...forehead sinking...pressing into glass
Melding with mirrored facsimile...
Pupils gaze into twin's...matching reflected sentiment ...hate for hate.

Swearing...pushing back...away
He's a f***ing Frankenstein's monster...
Not a walking, breathing jigsaw puzzle of mismatched...decaying...body parts...
But a miracle of deft surgeon's knife...scalpel...laser...suture
The latest Star Trek/high-tech medical tools...procedures...know-how
That had sliced...carved...removed...added...altered...shaped...
Face...eyes...ears...larynx . Metamorphosing Harry into Jake.
[The finest mask...heisted cartel money could buy]

Hollow laugh...no Stanley Ipkiss Mask...there'd be no simple discarding...detaching...
Magical relaxing.
Fingers grip...clamp the counter's edge...no siree...to remove this disguise
Would call for drastic measures...
One sure fire way to dislodge this baby would be to Ali the mirror...
Use a shattered silvered sliver...cut...slice...peel...skin...the cursed thing away.
Mesmerized by the thought...tempted by the lifeline offered...a path back to sanity...
Right hand forms a fist...
Arm tightens...starts to pull back...

Outside...baying...rising over the hill...echoing across the arroyo...
Bochco's ecstatic barking proclaiming the end of another early walk.
Snapping to...head shaking...clearing...hand rubbing eyes...
Saved by the howl...at least...for now.
Peering through the pane he glimpsed Diane...topping the rise
Hair a rich Autumnal mass...cheeks flushed from the crisp morning air.
Her approach galvanizes him into action...
Wiping foam dappled surfaces...toweling up the mess...
Mentally concocting an excuse
Something to convincingly explain his tardiness
In readying for the ride to town...for ritual breakfasting.

She'd accepted his explanation...just a tinge of suspicion...[a cop is a cop is a cop]
But thankfully no nosing...digging...prying...detective-ing
To mar their cozy...contented...coffee sipping, huevos rancheros devouring.
Around them wait staff...hustled...bustled...served up...
Accompanied by the background murmuring...gossiping of
Celebration's early morning clientele.

Finishing...departing...kissing...goodbying...
One homeward bound...one obligated to the office
The gallery...across the narrow canyon road.
Morning had eaten into noon before he'd finished
Signing checks...perusing contracts...signing off on brochure mockups
Okaying invoices...a thumbs-up to new exhibit...
Before he could leave...
Take the jeep...escape...to the solitude...the seclusion of the Jemez.

Tarmac winding ...snaking...hairpin curving
Cliff face encroaching...ravine gaping...ready to swallow
If his attention should wander
Concentrate...concentrate...time enough to think
When you find the right location.
Side road to the left...steering wheel twists...hard
Back wheels spinning...slipping...sliding...spitting gravel...sand Catching...gripping...straightening
Dust cloud marking/obscuring route.

Summit reached...ancient caldera...broken bowl...shattered by giant's tantrum
Spreading out...far as the eye can see...pastureland...fertile...lush...
Blanketing the crater's floor...cattle sprinkled like pepper
Panoramic scene...primordial glory...splendor unfolded...totally wasted
Attention rifle-sighted...on his hand
Buttons...two...blue-green...resting in his palm...firm...homely...benign
Placid facade veiling mystical properties.
Hands trembling...palsied...depression steadily worsening...
Prescription no longer assuaging....quelling
The waking nightmare every day had become
Alcohol...hard drugs...not an option
So, try something new.

Jaw clamps...teeth sever...grind...crush...
Bitterness razor sharp...caustic...biting... saturates his mouth
Quick swig...rapid mouthwash swish of grapefruit juice to deaden the acidity
The Navajos believe...so he was told...if someone is pure of heart
[...and says their prayers by night...]
They won't taste the bitterness
[...may become a werewolf when the wolfbane blooms
And the moon is cold and bright]
G**, he was really up s***'s creek...melding American Indian spiritualism and lycanthropy
Well...it didn't take some f***ing cactus litmus test to point out the sullied state of his heart
And...he was no Larry Talbot...his lupine alter ego didn't fade with the dawn's early light
Oh, noooo...it leered from every mirror...window pane...water puddle...
Palms smack steering wheel...impatient...
How f***ing long...for the G**d*** drug to take effect?

Head falls back...lids close tight...thoughts carom
Next week...Wednesday...second wedding anniversary...two years...Mr. and Mrs...
Two years...a fusion of sublime, absolute heaven...pure, out-and-out hell
G**, what an idiot ...brainless...to have assumed...no repercussions...
No consequences to pay.
Make a pact with the Devil...and the ultimate IRS agent
Is guaranteed to come collecting...sooner or later.
But never expected the manner his debt would take.

A little plastic surgery...change his identity...no big deal...right?...
Got him what he'd wanted...desired...hungered for...for so long
He'd been triumphant...won the hand of fair maid...
or had he?
Who'd been the victor ...really...Harry Denby...or Jake Larson?
His gambit had paid off...succeeded...but with consequences unforeseen
He'd created...become his own rival.
Every day a never winning...never ending battle...driving him closer to the edge.
Screws protesting vehemently...mirror...yanked...twisted...into position
To reflect his adversary's eyes.
Who does she love? Me or you? hissed through clenched teeth...his psychosis
blind to the illogical...irrational premise Diane was aware...such an option existed.

The peyote kicked in...settling around...over...through him... swathing in peace...calm...tranquility...heightening awareness...rapid thought flow.

Wild...intensely colorful...constant changing patterns gyrating behind closed lids.

Dashboard clock...6 hours elapsed... what a drug!...no comedown!...feel G-R-E-A-T!
relaxed...at peace...stomach nagging...wolfishly hungry...satyrishly horny
Engine humming...mileposts counting down...frosty air windtunneling through windows...front/back ...all sides...opened
wide..."follow...follow...follow...follow...

follow the yellow line" home.
Home...hearth...wife..."where have you been?" cut-short by soul-draining kisses...buttons popped...zippers jumping track...scattered clothing pointing
the way... to the scene of the crime of passion.

Life was wonderful...fabulous...fantastic...all was right with the world...then...
she moaned..."Jake".
His soul blackholed.

Overhead...eyeball-searing blue...infinity stretching...massive cloud flotilla
setting sail.
Volcanic plain...steamroller flat ...grande river split...stretched tight in every direction
Below...stomach-plunging emptiness...650 foot free-fall...
Harry...elbows propped...eyes surveying...mind calculating...planning...
staging...accident scene
All around...tourists milling...cameras clicking...girls'/women's affected squeals...
boys'/men's false posturing...cars creeping...passengers' necks stretching...
craning to see over the bridge's side.
Gallery dealings in Taos. Business conducted...finalized. Driving back...giant rift...gorge...bridge...seen...a hundred times...but
ignored...unnoticed...caught attention...fostered a plan...a possible solution to his pain.

What had always mattered most...was Diane...her attention...love...respect. All he'd ever wanted...dreamed of...needed personified in one
stubborn...courageous...fiercely loyal...independent... vulnerable...sexy...beautiful...red sweater-wrapped package.

He'd succeeded in his quest...beyond his wildest dreams...but in doing so...miscalculated... horrendously. It had never occurred to him...he'd have to
share.

Her love had cleansed his wounds...washed away his sins...healed...filled the void at the core of his being.

All illusion...a chimera. Only her body was his. The treasure...the Holy Grail...her heart...her love...belonged to Him...the Other...the
artificial...medically-manufactured façade.

She'd never be Harry Denby's. He'd lost ...again. His hand had reached...his fingers had brushed...made contact...but the brass ring had eluded
him...once more.

A child...five or six...yellow ball...tossed or accidentally dropped. Mesmerized...he tracked the orb's descent...visualizing in its place...a
body...imagining the last-second regret...the quickening speed...the hollow quiet...the bone-shattering impact.

The torment could...would...end here. He knew how...when...

Wednesday...January 23rd...anniversary...card...roses...emerald ring...she was delighted...thrilled...then playfully questioned...an emerald?...so
soon?...expected after 50th year...why now?

Cryptic smile...deep kiss...to remind you...every waking minute...every day...my love endures...despite what tomorrow or the coming years...might
hold.

That night...rich decadent food...romantic music...the whole works...no alcohol... Holding...tight...melding in the dark.
Murmuring...whispering...vowing...replenishing.

February 10th...1:00 p.m...sorry, love...can't be helped...unexpected problem...in Taos...no...no need for you to come...what needs to be done...is
best done quickly...alone...won't take long...promise.

Kiss...tender/rough...fervent...as though no tomorrow.

Watching from the driveway...hand raised...waving...eyes following...car shrinking...disappearing...turning toward the house...Bochco at her
heels...stopping...whispering to the air...the junipers...

I love you...Harry.