HDLPoet's Journal
	A little something special for those who keep coming back to the site for more!! What am I talking about? What is this page all about? Helena D. Lewis, straight from the Poet's mouth . . . um, well . . . from her keyboard to your screen. All for who? YOU!! You got it! More Helena D. Lewis! The Poet will be sharing her thoughts with you all on a regular basis, life's many Mental Notes and more. Enjoy!
Sunday, September 9, 2007, 11:46 PM I just got finished eating oatmeal and a breakfast turkey sausage for dinner, because I just got home. Around 4:45 pm, I was at the Laundromat with Kasim and thinking to myself, "Boy, this has been one of the easiest on call weekends I've had in a long... ." I didn't get a chance to complete the thought because my cell phone rings. It's my job. I don't answer on purpose because I'm trying to re-train staff to call the on-call phone in stead of my cell phone (long story). Anyway, I pull out the on-call phone and wait patiently for a few minutes for it to ring. It doesn't, so I'm thinking, "It can't be too much of an emergency." I check the message left by my job on my phone. "MS. LEWIS, COME TO 'NAME OF MY JOB GOES HERE' RIGHT AWAY!! THEY ARE FIGHTING!!" In the background, I hear all types of screaming and noise. I jump up tell Kasim, "I gotta go." I'm walking out of the Laundromat yelling to him, "Two of the inmates are fighting. I gotta go to work." See, when you are the on call, you are the person they call when something goes wrong in the building. Now I'm in my car, my phone is going off, the on-call phone is going off, I'm trying to get out the parking lot and get on the highway. I call Ms. McNeil (same Ms. McNeil from my play Call Me Crazy), she doesn't answer the phone. I call the new Program Supervisor and another counselor who lives a few blocks from the program and tell them to meet me there, it's an emergency. I call my job to tell them I'm about 15 minutes away. Now I hear on the phone, "SHE GOT A KNIFE AND SHE STABBED MS. JANE DOE! WE CALLED 911!" Now I'm like, "This is not good" and I all I can think about now is, "I have on flip flops. Why did I take my sneakers out of the car yesterday? I NEED MY SNEAKERS! I don't know what I'm walking into and I need my SNEAKERS!" I get about four blocks from my job, but get stuck in the middle of some Dominican Parade and eight men on horseback. I turn down a one way street, realize I am going the wrong way, U-turn and get to my job. The RIOT POLICE are in front of the building and one of them is holding a riffle on the inmate that stabbed Jane Doe. Now, get this, the street is jam-packed with people from the parade! I identify myself to the RIOT POLICE, walk in the front door as the other counselor I called is walking out to check on the inmate that was outside with the RIOT POLICE in front of the building. Now, get this, my license plate says, "POET." Why is one of the RIOT POLICE asking me about my license plate and what type of poetry I do? I'm like, "Ummm, can we talk about this later?" Long story short, I walk past one inmate bleeding because she was stabbed in all of the chaos trying to stop the inmate who had the knife (which turned out to be two BBQ forks) and one staff member that was trying to break up the fight but got punched in the face. The inmate who started the fight was in the main office hiding under the desk. I tell you, it was just crazy. But this is the craziest part. THEY WERE FIGHTING OVER BBQ SAUCE!!!!!! Wait there is more. We called the main prison to tell them to come get the two inmates that were fighting. The C.O. on the phone was like, "It will be a while. The prison gangs are attacking the staff and we have to take care of this situation first..." Saturday, August 25, 2007, 2:35 PM Okay, talk about weather change. Hot as heck, then cold as heck, now it's hot as heck in Jersey. Anyway, my best friend Skillz told me, "Why don't you send me your journal comments for editing anymore?" My response, "It takes you too long.' Well, she was like, "I'm going to your site and I'm going to edit your last entry." That was like two weeks ago. So, I decided to type this entry about her just to see how long it takes her to go to my site. I know when she reads this she is going to call me, or text me, or send me a smart e-mail. However, I don't care. I just wanted to make a point. Saturday, August 18, 2007, 8:40 AM HOW TO GET RID OF BED BUGS. I thought bed bugs were a myth. You know, "Sleep tight don't let the bed bugs bite..." Wrong! They are real. I wouldn't have know that if it wasn't for my job. Waaaaaay back in February one of the clients complained that she found a bug filled with blood in her room. She cleaned her room and didn't complain about finding any more bugs. Then we moved another client into her room. The first night the new client slept in her room she woke up covered from head to toe in round, raised, bumps. We sent her to medical the same day and was told by the prison doctor she had BED BUG BITES. The supervisor at that time under direction from her supervisor, moved the clients into another room, washed all their clothes, used some type of a tick and flea bomb to spray the room (which I later learned was the worst thing staff could have done from a bed bug journal), and closed the room off to the rest of the house, you know like quarantine. Anyway, the bugs spread through out the A-side. They spread because the inmates share common areas (the lounge, the rec, the company vans). The spread because the head of the agency was SLOW TO APPROVE MONEY TO HAVE THE BUILDING EXTERMINATE PROPERLY. As the begs went looking for food on the A-side they managed to infest the entire A-side. My office is on the A-side. I nevered worried about bringing the bugs home, because I wasn't a food source for them. These bugs come out at night (unless they are really hungry) and they sense CO2 (carbon dioxide) from a food source and travel towards that source. I immediately stop going inside of the client's rooms, stopped sitting in any type of cushion chairs, started sleeping with the lights on, checked my home for signs of bed bugs every day, and brought a change of clothes to work (I would take off what I wore to work but it in a plastic bag, put on new clothes (that I kept in my car) to go home it, and wash the clothes in HOT WATER AND BLEACH THAT I WORE TO WORK). My office mate moved out of our office to an empty office in the basement. She was and still is AFRAID OF THE BUGS. I wouldn't move my office. How could I keep the client's on the A-side calm if I showed them I was afraid to keep my office on that side of the building? Months went by, the residents begged staff for help, I printed out articles to give to my supervisor, but it was always the same the person in charge of the money was on some BS. With my own money I went and brought some bed bug spray I found at PathMark to try and help the problem a little, but I knew the spray would only help for a day or two. After about three months we got the okay to exterminate the A-side of the building. The exterminator company owner came in to give us an estimate. He talked all this stuff about how he does all the halfway homes, and doc buildings, blah, blah, blah, and he gave us a six month guarantee if anyone got bitten again he would come in and do it for free. Now, came EXTERMINATION DAY. The case managers and myself transported residents from the A-side back and forth to the laundry all day. We washed every piece of washable item, while the exterminator came to get rid of the problem. The next day the client's woke up with new bites. The exterminator came again, a week passes and the client's started waking up with new bites. Now, it's worse, because someone moved a mattress from the A-side to the B-side of the building and now residents on the second floor are complaining of bites. Then the Board of Health came to the building. I just happen to be there when they came and I was the only staff in the building when they came. I was like, "Come on in!!!!" Long story short the Board of Health gave us a list of things to do to help get rid of the bed bugs. One of which was put the mattresses in plastic moving bags from U-Hall, because they live in mattresses (wrong they live in wood, they live in the cracks of the walls, they live in news papers, they live in any space they can hide during the day after they feed on you). Anyway, the exterminator came again, but we didn't get the okay to purchase the mattress covers. Why? Ummm, mismanagement, a lack of concern from administration, I don't know. So, once again I go in my pocket and purchase sheets of plastic wrap and duct tape from Home Depot. We as in me and the inmates, wrapped and duct taped the heck out of those mattresses. However, even thought the exterminator had just been to the building we were founding live bugs, and bed bug eggs on the wooden frames of the bed post. So, we duct tape the beds. Some of the client's didn't want to duct tape their entire beds, but the ones that did got less bites or no bites afterwards. Oh, mind you my program didn't get the okay to exterminate the B-side just the A-side. Do you know how heart breaking it is to see a person covered in bug bites from head to toe as they ask you, "What about us we are still getting bit? Long story short the new head of DOC programs for the company I work for brought a Vapor Blitz III steam machine to the program. The steam from the machine kills the bugs on contact. The women inmates were told to take their beds apart, bring them outside, and steam the wood twice. I DON'T WANT TO GO INTO HOW THAT DIDN'T WORK OUT... but we really didn't get man power we needed until an article came out in a newspaper about the problem we were having with the bed bugs. Now the agency's BIG DOGS are force into action. DOC wants to know what they are doing? They have to answear not only to the public, but to their funding source. Then three inmates from our brother program came, all of a sudden we had two steam machines instead of one. These guys came in and went from floor to floor (four floors) took apart beds, brought them downstairs, steamed all the wood in the building, put the beds back together. Some of the rooms were so infested with BED BUGS the floors were completely covered in them (they didn't find any in my office). While the inmates from our brother program was on BED BUG patrol, I was running the inmates back and forth to the laundry to wash their clothes. There is so much I could say, but let me say this, "Bed bugs are an epidemic in the USA now. From the rich to the poor. DDH which was used to kill them back in the day has been outlawed, because it was killing of wild life. They only way to get rid of bed bugs is to tackle them at first site. A combination of steam cleaning (the bugs die because of the heat from the steam and the steam gets into cracks of the wood), protective covering for the mattresses, and routine washing of bedding and clothes is what worked for my program. The exterminator that came to our building tried, but he didn't spray all the wood, and the chemicals used were not strong enough to kill all the bugs. I hope this LONG BLOG HELPS SOMEONE" Oh, one more thing. When we pulled the duct tape off the beds we put duct tape on, bed bugs were stuck on the duct tape. So, they got stuck trying to get out of the cracks we covered with the duct tape. It was kinda' nasty to see, but I don't want to go into details. In thirty days we have to repeat the steaming of the wood, but with bed bugs you have to keep up a routine or less you will loose the war. We still have to battle the bed bugs and when we can go 15 months (Lord, I don't want to be working there for that long) then we can say WE WON THE WAR. Wednesday, August 8, 2007. 4:20 AM My sleep is all off since I got back from the National Black Theater Festival (NBTF). I'm walking around in a fog. For those of you who never been to the NBTF, let me give you some history... It's a biannual event held in Winston Salem, North Carolina. I never heard of it until 2003 when Weusi Baraka, no relations to Amiri Baraka, asked me to co-host their Midnight Poetry Readings with Malcolm-Jamal Warner. Well, this year was my third year at the festival. Kasim and Butta' went with me this year. In addition to hosting this year, I was supposed to do my play, "Call Me Crazy, Diary of A Mad Social Worker," at the Urban League for a youth series. Long story short, I get a phone call, blah, blah, blah, I can't do my play there, because of some type of funding issues. Okay, this is after Butta' has made arrangements to take off from his job, not to mention the money I spent for promotional material. Now, let me show you the power of a "FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION MENTALITY." I made some phone calls, not to the people in charge of the festival, but to people I've met who where from Winston Salem. I told them I need a space to do my play. Tim, one of the drivers who volunteers at the festivals, told me about Greg, the owner of club 411. The 411 club is right next to the main hotel and it has a raised stage. I called TC, all around cool guy, he goes to the 411 club and scouts the location. He met the owner, told him what we wanted to do and dude hooked us up with the space for FREE. Well, I'm thinking he gave us the space for FREE, let's do the show for FREE. Let's give back to everyone that has supported me in Winston Salem, NC... Not to mention all of the people who might want to see a play at the festival, but can't afford the price of admission. General ticket prices range from $250 dollars to $37.00. So, now I have the space, but I don't know what time to do the show. I know I don't want it to conflict with any main stage shows, because this production is not part of the theater festival and I want as many people to attend as possible. So, I called Rev Lee. He suggested I do the show on Thursday at 6pm. Tim also agrees, because people (well theater people who might be able to help me) start to leave on Thursday. Well, I get down to the NBTF along with Kasim and Butta' and we are on the GRIND. Long story short, my show was standing room only and I got THREE OFFERS TO DO IT AGAIN. So, to everyone and anyone who might be reading this, "When life gives you lemons make, lemonade. FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION." June 29, 2007, Saturday 10:09am Long time no type. Actually, I've been pretty good with keeping my myspace page up to date. Anyway, what's on the agenda for today. Gotta' meet Skillz at Noon. We are going to get my t-shirts, gotta' call the studio about my time on Sunday, gotta' pick up my mother at 5 pm. We are going to check out the hypnotist at the Meadowlands Fair. December 16, 2006 Sat 11:15am My sister, Sandra, just left my house. I'm cracking up because my family is so dysfunctional, it is beyond funny, it's sad. Last Thursday I woke up to what I thought was the smoke alarm going off in the basement (I live on the first floor). I jump up, run to the basement and walk into a cloud of semi-thick white smoke and loud noise coming from the furnace. No flames, thank goodness for that. I grab my house keys, open the door to the second floor and run upstairs screaming, "Momma, I think the furnace is on fire, cut off the heat!" I run back downstairs to the basement. The heat is off and, by the time I check all the rooms in the basement, my mother comes downstairs and says, "Oh, that's the carbon monoxide detector Sandra put down here." I open the back door to the basement, open my back porch door and the door leading from my house to the basement. The white smoke clears and the alarm stops going off. We leave a note for my father on the second floor in the kitchen and we leave the house (I had to go to work and my mother had to do something with the Senior Citizen Club she belongs to). On Friday morning the furnace people came to look at the furnace. The furnace was backed-up with junk because the people who we pay every year to come and clean it out have not been doing it properly, which lead to the CO2 incident that caused the alarm to go off, blah, blah, blah. Now, back to today. Sandra told me my niece, who lives with my parents on the second floor, calls her to say, "Grandma tried to kill me and my grandfather. I thought I heard Momma Helen (my mother) and Helena talking, but when I woke up an hour later I had a splitting headache. Then I came downstairs and saw the note she left for Daddy Coot (my father, her grandfather) to open the windows when he got home. I know they tried to kill me." I was like, "Sandra, I had the basement door open and the alarm had stopped going off way before I even left the house. She really thinks we tried to kill her?" Sandra says, "Not you, just Momma." Wait, there is more. My nephew Jamal was robbed yesterday in front of his house. On his way home from school, an older kid asked him if he had a cell phone. Jamal said, "No." The other kid pulls out a knife and says, "I know you have a cell phone, give it to me." Long story short, Jamal is okay. My other nephew, Mike, calls Jamal's house to check on him, but Jamal's mother answers the phone. She hangs up on Mike because she is still mad at him for something that happened, like, three years ago. So, to everyone that took the time to read this, Merry X-mas and Happy New Year. Hope you have a drama free holiday season with your family, because I have enough at my home. Saturday, December 9, 2006, 12:13 PM AM What a week. My dog, Skippy, died on Thursday. I had him for like 15 years. One of the inmates tried to attack me. My father ran into my brand new car. I only had it for two days (Yes, the VW is no more.) Today is my b-day and I'm not feeling very birthday-ish. Thursday, August 24, 2006, 3:30 AM I know I should be in bed, but I'm so amped up from all the fun I had tonight I had to share. Darrin Henson wanted to know if Kasim and I wanted to go to the Idlewild Movie Premier in New York. You know my cheap butt, so I was like, "Word?!?! We get to see the movie for FREE ?!?!" Long story short, we're sitting in the second row and Alicia Keys, Busta Rhymes and Mario are sitting behind us and I'm munching on popcorn, Milk Duds, and drinking lemonade. I'm thinking, "This is cool." Afterwards, Darrin was like, "Do y'all wanna go to the after-party?" I almost said no. But you know my always hungry butt, I figured there would be FREE food and you know how much I like FREE food. Kasim and I walk in, but we don't see Darrin, so we walk around and then I have a National Black Theater Festival. I was like, "Call Darrin and find out where he is, because there might be another VIP band that we need to go to a special section. Well, we meet Darrin at the door and we get a different VIP band and we walk upstairs to eat -- you got it -- FREE food. So, now I'm on the phone with Puffy and I was like, "I'll call you back because I can't hear you," and I look up and see Andre 3000, Bad Boi, Tyson the model dude and Ashy Larry from the Dave Chappelle Show. Kasim took a picture with Andre 3000 and I got one with Ashy Larry (Dag, what is real name?) I took a picture with Andre 3000 too, but when Kasim went to take our picture, three photographers came out of nowhere and started taking shots of us and Kasim thought the flash was from our camera. So, my picture was kinda jacked up. Okay, it's so dark you can't tell who is in the picture, but I know who it is. Anyway, Andre 3000 and Bad Boi were so down to earth. You know how you see people on TV and you're like, " Are they really like that?" YES, THEY ARE! Shoot, everyone was mad nice to us and Ashy Larry is comical. Oh, go see Idlewild. You will not be disappointed. The cinematography, the dancing? Definitely worth the time and effort. I'm going to get the soundtrack today. Sunday, August 20, 2006, 9:12 AM 11 THINGS MOST PEOPLE DON'T KNOW ABOUT HELENA D. LEWIS 1) My favorite color is orange 2) I graduated from Orange High School in Orange, NJ 3) I was Vice-President of the Fishing Club, Varsity Softball Player (second base), Co-Caption of the Colorguard (We got down with six feet long poles with giant flags at the end) 4) I missed my high school reunion this weekend, because I've sick for like five days :( 5) I'm left handed (Hey, now that I think about it most of the poets I know are left handed. 6) I'm near-sighted in one eye and far-sighted in the other (Yes, I can see with out my glasses). 7) I am the lead make-up artist and female runway trainer for the Essex County Fashion Entertainment Board at Essex County College (Yes, I can walk a runway). 8) My father is from Georgia and my mother is from Homestead Florida (notice the southern twang in my voice from time to time) 9) I have a degree in BIOLOGY from Rutgers University (I love anything to do with genetics can't get enough of it). 10) I ran a drop in center for prostitutes for six years in Newark, New Jersey (I know it has nothing to do with biology, long story). 11) I can't stay off of myspace. Click here and check out my myspace Page Friday, August 18, 2006, 8:28 AM You know how they say, "Never leave the house without clean underwear?" Well, never leave the house without a bra on either, especially if you are a female. I woke up and the plan was simple: drive my car from Kasim's house to my house, get ready to go to the doctor and go to work (I have a cough that I can't shake). But, my car wouldn't start. Kasim, Kayo and Den-Den have all told me within the past week to get AAA, but I didn't. I called Kasim at work, he called a tow truck for me, because #TOW is a joke. They wanted $200.00 to tow my car to my mechanic. Anyway, after two hours of being stranded, here comes the tow truck with dude who was willing to tow my car for $130.00. He hooks up my car, I jump in the front seat and what a bumpy ride. Hence, I will never leave my house without a bra on again. Rob Hylton came and picked me up from my mechanic and dropped me off at my house and went back to bed immediately. Now, I'm waiting for Puffy to come and get me to pick up my car and then I'm going to drive myself to the doctor. I have too many shows coming up to be laid up in my bed SICK. It might just be my bronchitis, but I had to transport one of the inmates to the doctor the other day. Homegirl was diagnosed with oral thrush, an upper respiratory tract infection and she has a fungal infection growing on 75% of her face. If you know me, you know I'm a little hypochondriac, but, can you blame me? Saturday, August 12, 2006, 9:29 AM Okay, seems like it is taking a little longer for me to get the new site up. So, I decided to update this one. Where should I start? Should I talk about my trip to Jamaica and how my friend got attacked by crabs on the beach? Should I talk about how I ended up on stage at a Reggie Concert with Angie Stone, Darrin Henson, Red Rat? Should I talk about how my boy Rob Hylton got on the mic last night at Mango's after this poet jacked the mic at the end and was like, "Don't you EVER do that again?" Should I tell how I got glued into my office at work? Should I tell you about my photo shoot with baron. and the new pictures I can't wait to post? Should I tell you that "baron." is not a typo this is how he spells his name? Should I tell you about my dog having pink eye? Yes, he has pink eye! I don't know. All I know is I really miss typing on my journal page and that I've been working hard getting ready for my four-day run at the Nuyorican in October. Saturday, July 14, 2006, 11:59 PM I know it's been a long time, but the good news is I JUST CAME FROM A MEETING ABOUT MY WEBSITE AND WILL BE REDONE WITHIN THE NEXT TWO WEEKS. I'm talking new pictures, sound, video, a link to my myspace page and the list goes on, and on, and on... Now the other good news is my new play, "Call Me Crazy," won Best Short at the DownTown Urban Theater Festival. I will be doing a two week run in October at the Nuyorican and I have offers for runs at a few other places. Now the bad news is... this might be my last journal entry on my geocities site. I will send out an official e-mail when the new site is up and 100% on www.hdlpoet.com. Saturday, June 17, 2006, 2:26 PM Well, to make a long story short... Everything worked out fine. The play was sold out, I got a standing O, and three offers to do it again. Thank you, thank you, to everyone who came, helped with the production, sent out e-mail blasts telling your friends about the show, posted the info on myspace. Special, Special, Special shout outs to: Steve "Puffy" Donaldson, Blue Lion, Jessie for hooking a sister up with a sound cue CD at the last minute, MY DIRECTOR, BUTTAFLYSOUL, Skillz for leaving work early to help me, everyone who helped me take my hair out those braids on the curb in front of the theater, Darrin Henson for coming straight over after his shoot was over, Kasim for telling everyone about the show and putting up with me for tast couple of weeks, Arcos Entertainment, Rob Hylton, Rev Lee and Baron for searching for sound cues and music for me, Big Chris for looking me out with that SuperFly song, everyone who sent me well wishes, and to the dude who asked me, "Why are you being lazy with your art?" Thank you for pushing me. Wednesday, June 14, 2006, 12:23 AM I know I have not posted in a long time. I've been working like crazy trying to get my new show ready for the DownTown Urban Theater Festival. I'm talking getting off from work, driving to the city for rehearsal, getting home at 2am, and getting up at 7am to start my day over. It's just a one-day run and I already have an offer to do the show again. I was like, "Wow, you want to book it and you haven't even seen it." My new one-person show, "Call Me Crazy," is completely different from my last show. I do over 15 characters and ButtaFlySoul is my director. We work well together. I just came from Jessie's house in Brooklyn making my sound cue CD. Rev Lee (who lives in Georgia), Baron, Butta' and Jessie pulled together to get my sound cues together. I was supposed to do them on Saturday, but the studio where I was supposed to go called talking about, "We are having equipment trouble." I was like, "What!" I got an immediate headache. I couldn't breath, I kept thinking the show is less then a week and my sound cues are %$#@ up. Then on top of all of that the person who was supposed to do a voice over backed out at the last minute. Thank God for me Puffy called Blue Lion and he drove to Brooklyn just to record two lines. Now that is love. I tell you I haven't worked this hard in a long time, but I think it was well worth the drama. So, if you are not doing anything this Thursday, June 15, 2006, please come to my new play. Where? I'm glad you asked. It will be at the Cherry Lane Theater at 38 Commerce Street Greenwich Village in New York City. For additional information and tickets go to DownTownUrban.net. Monday, April 24, 2006, 10:12PM I went to this jazz club in West Orange to see Malcolm-Jamal Warner perform with his band yesterday. A lot of people don't know this, but he plays the bass guitar. When he sent out the e-mail blast that he was going to be at Cecil's, I was like, "Yo, that's right around the corner from my house. I gotta' go see my boy." So I called him and let him know I was coming to the show with Kasim. Now, what I didn't expect him to do was pull me onstage to do a poem. That was so cool. There were a couple of people there I knew, but they didn't know I performed. They were all shocked. I thought it was cute. So, that will go down as one of the most memorable nights of my life. Oh, Jeff Fox from 98.7 Kiss FM was there. He sat in on a set and played with Malcolm's band. He is pretty good too, but the dude that was on the saxophone was just nasty. Made me want to play the sax. Oh, if you go to Cecil's, don't order the mozzarella sticks. Me and Kasim were like, "How can you mess up mozzarella sticks?" Wednesday, April 19, 2006, 11:59 PM Let's start with, my car broke down again getting off of the Route 19 exit ramp last week. To make matters worse, I had one of the prisoners in my car. I took her to get her college transcript sent from Union County College to Passaic County College so she could start classes there this summer (they can take college classes when they are locked up at the main prison). I called my job to let them know I had broken down, they came and got the prisoner and left my butt on the side of the highway. I know! Say it with me, "That's @#$%$ up!" I called my mechanic Carlos and had the Volkswagen towed to his repair shop, where I had to tell him all of my car drama, starting with AAMACO to the car being towed to his shop, which is where I should have driven it when it broke down coming from the NACA Conference. Carlos shouted and was like, "What is wrong with you Helena?" When I got my car back, Carlos told me the timing belt was in upside down and some other stuff. I was going to drop my car off at his shop anyway, because it still didn't sound right when my father's mechanic fixed it. Anyway, I promised the Volkswagen no more long poetry trips. So, for my trip to Wells College in Aurora, NY yesterday, I rented a car. Did you know you can deduct car rentals on your income taxes if you are a poet? Anyway, Kasim came with me for this 4 1/2 hour trip. I was glad he came with me. It's nice to have someone to talk to on the road. The view was gorgeous. I almost ran into a truck trying to look at the mountains, but that's another story. Well, we did good, until we couldn't find Longhorn Road. That led to us calling Stan, then calling campus security at Wells to try and guide us into the main campus. The show started at 7pm. We got there at 6:45pm. Talk about close. Wells College is right next to one of those Finger Lake and, until this semester, it was an all girl school. I had a ball, the students were so nice to us. I even met a student who is from East Orange. I told her to call me when she gets back to Jersey and I would take her to hang out with Jersey Poets. From what everyone was telling me on campus, she is an excellent poet herself. Monday, April 10, 2006, 1:30 AM I got a phone call from Andre Minkins asking me to come to Fisk University in Tennessee to participate in their 77th Annual Spring Arts Festival. I met him back in 2003 and again in 2005 when I co-hosted the Midnight Poetry Jams at the National Black Theater Festival in North Carolina. I'm glad he called me because this had to be the best trip I've ever taken to a college campus. Fisk University is a historically Black university. I learned so much the one day I spent on campus; from the history of the institution to the Jubilee Singers that toured the world to raise money to save the school in 1867. I was just dumbstruck by the history of the university, the architecture, the portraits and the items that they had on display throughout the campus. I did my workshop in Little Theater, located on campus, which was used during the Civil War as a hospital. Before the workshop I was chilling in the dressing room with Chuck, and Andre was like, "I want to show you something." He moved the chair I was sitting on and lifted up a piece of the floorboard and said, "This was part of the underground railroad. When they would come to look for runaway slaves, someone would sound a bell and they would hide in these tunnels. " I was like, "Damn, I'm standing on top of my past." I bent down to get a better look at the tunnel and it was about 2 1/2 feet high and maybe three feet wide. Andre said, "When most people think of the underground railroad they think people were walking through tunnels, but, in reality, they were really crawling and hiding in small spaces like this." I told him, "Cover it up, it's making me cry.". Now, for this trip I flew from Newark Airport to Ohio, but I didn't know about the tornados that hit Tennessee until I was looking at the news waiting for my connecting flight to Nashville, Tennessee. I was walking past a TV and heard, " 39 dead, thousands homeless. Tornados hit Tennessee." I was like, "What?! That's where I'm going!" I called Andre, but he didn't call me back. So I was like, "My flight is supposed to leave on time, so maybe I'm okay." I took a chance and continued as planned with my fingers crossed. When my second plan flight landed, I had a message from Andrew saying they were okay and the Tornados touched down about ten minutes from them, but the show was still going on. When I got back to Jersey my mother was like, "What's wrong with you flying to Tennessee in the middle of all those tornados?" I was like, "Momma, I didn't know about the tornados until I got to Ohio. Do you think I really wanted to fly into a tornado?" Tuesday, April 4, 2006, 11:00 AM I'm soooooooo tired. I don't even know where to begin. My allergies have been bothering me so bad I'm having trouble sleeping and I have soooooo much on my plate lately I'm just struggling though each day. For the last two weeks, this has been my routine: I get up around 9 am, get to work late, leave work to go to a show, get home between 10pm and 1am, help my nephew Jamal with his homework for, like, two hours every night (he is being home-tutored since he broke his ankle), go to bed between 2am and 3am and get back up again at 9am. It cost me $1,400.00 to get my car out of the shop and it broke down Thursday, five days later, in the middle of the day before my show at Princeton University with HerStory. I pulled into an Enterprise Rent-A-Car with my busted car and was like, "I need a car now!" I got the rent-a-car, left my car there, and drove to AAMOCO on Bloomfield Ave in Bloomfield, New Jersey and was like, "I just got my car out and it's doing the same thing again! It won't go past 40 mph. The dude, Leon, was like, "Well, it was working when you left, right?" I had to get my father, call my job and call another mechanic because I REFUSE to let AAMOCO RIP ME OFF AGAIN. I picked up my father from home and he went with me to get my car (which I left at the rental place) and he drove it to his mechanic. AMOCO PUT OLD SPARK PLUGS IN MY CAR (even though they charged me over $200.00 for a tune-up kit). I have a four cylinder car and AAMOCO HAD ME RUNNING ON THREE CYLINDERS, THE CATALYTIC CONVERTER THEY PUT IN MY CAR WAS NOT NEW and the list goes on. My father's mechanic made me go home and get my receipt from AAMOCO and he was like, "they RIPPED YOU OFF. THERE IS NO REASON WHY YOUR CAR SHOULD HAVE COST $1,400.00 AND THEY DIDN'T EVEN FIX YOUR CAR RIGHT." He had to go over everything they did and my mother paid $180.00 for my father's mechanic to FIX WHAT AAMOCO JACKED UP. I also performed at the Nuyorican last Friday, just got home from performing at Monmouth University and I'm flying to Tennessee on Saturday. Oh, I know what I wanted to write about, what's up with, after I left the Nuyo last Friday, I had to drive Skillz' friend Jason to his car. Dude could not find a place to park. He ended up parking so far from the Nuyo he had to catch a cab and walk five blocks to get to the Nuyorican. Then, after the show, he didn't know where his car was and I had to drive around with him and Skillz looking for his car. He seemed like a nice guy, but after 15 minutes of circling blocks looking for his car, I wanted to push him out and make him walk, but he was with Skillz. Monday, March 20, 2006 11:58 PM Well, let's start off with the NACA Conference I did last Friday. I picked Stan up at his house around 6:30 am. We hit the road and we are on our way to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. Stan has the directions (and yes, this is the same Stan who took the Lincoln Tunnel to get to the George Washington Bridge), so I had some concerns. I'm driving, I look at Stan and he is asleep. He was like, "I got you." But no, you can't have my back if you are asleep. Homeboy was like, "We are going to be on Route 87 or 81 for 107 miles. I'm going to sleep." Now the VW, which I purchased new but is now paid for and pushing 110,000 miles in poetry travel, is having crazy problems getting up the hills. I'm thinking, my car is now officially a hooptie and I need to accept it, but denial is a @#$%^$$$. Stan wakes up and he's like cracking on my car. So I was like, "Stan, we are going up a hill ," to which Stan replies, "But we are going straight now." Anyway, despite Mr. I-have-jokes-about-your-vehicle, we get to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania and we can't find Gettysburg College. Why? Because we drove down a street, if you wanna' call it a street, for like five minutes and all we saw was grass, grass, more grass and no people. So we started talking about how we could get killed and no one would know where to look for us, we could be in a haystack, locked in a barn, blah, blah, blah, I'm talking our imaginations were in overdrive. So we punked out and turned the car around to go back to the main road, only to be told we were on the right road and we had to go back. Anyway, Stan drove home and my car was really cutting up. I'm talking, it wouldn't go past 40 mph by the time I got home. I thought it was the transmission (like I really need a bill for $2,000). Turns out, it's the engine and the gas is not going to it properly and something with the exhaust. Now I'm mad, 'cause it seems like every time I get ahead, something happens to put me behind. Shout-outs to everyone with a hooptie. Thursday, March 16, 2006, 11:34 AM My little nephew Jamal fell and broke his ankle. I had to go to the Board of Education to find out what was up with the home tutor the school was supposed to send, but never came. I also had to go to his school today to get his homework. He fell down four steps two weeks ago, he had to have surgery on his ankle and they snapped it back into place and he is in a cast that goes to his thigh. He had such a hard time getting around his mother brought him over here to stay with us. I don't mind him staying, but did his dog have to come too? This poodle thinks he is a pit bull. If you get close to him, he barks at you. If you try to touch him, he tries to bite you. I tell you, there is nothing like family drama. Jamal calls himself being upset with me because I went to the Board of Education to find out about his tutor. But he is not going to sit upstairs and look at TV all day either. Now, I should be packing (I'm doing a NACA Conference tomorrow and I have to get up at 5am), but, like always, I'm finding all types of stuff to do except for what I'm supposed to be doing. Thursday, February 23, 2006 12:19AM Never a dull day in my life. I left work today and flagged down an ambulance to let them know, "THIS IS THE BUILDING." One of the clients had an asthma attack that lasted, like, three hours and counting. I don't know why she wasn't taken to the hospital sooner, but that's another story. Lord knows you can't play with asthma. Anyway, I flagged down the ambulance and usually I stick around to help out, but Annie Sez had a sale on jackets and I was on my way, because one of my co-workers had went the day before and got this hot pink embroidered corduroy coat that I had to have. So, I fly down the parkway to Annie Sez, found the jacket (which was on sale for $25.00), made my way the cash register and this guy that works there walks to the counter and says, "I don't feel well." Next thing I know, homeboy falls straight back, hits the ground hard as heck. The people that worked there froze, didn't know what to do. I had to tell them to call 911. Told them, "Don't move him," asked him if he was feeling hot or cold. He said, "Cold." Told them to put a blanket over him, asked him a few other questions and kept him calm until the ambulance came. I think I should have gotten an additional discount on my jacket. Anyway, shout-outs to my boy Al Letson. I drove to Baltimore with Kasim to see Al Letson's play, "Julius X." I was so proud of Al. The first time I really remember Al Letson was at the 2000 National Poetry Slam in Providence, RI. I was on the Nuyorican Slam Team and he had made it to the finals with us as an individual. After he performed, he came backstage to warn all of us about the mic being jacked up. Believe me when I say it's rare to find someone to look out for you at the Nationals that's not on your team. I had seen him slam at the Nuyorican before, but never spoke to him or I don't remember speaking to him. Anyway, he is definitely one of the nicest people that I have ever met through poetry. He doesn't do poetry like he used to, he started writing plays and has evolved that way. But I was so proud sitting in the audience saying to myself, "I know the playwright." He is also one of maybe five people that I talk to on the regular about the "business" and the only person I would drive three hours one way to see a play he wrote. Oh, "Julius X" was well worth the three hour drive and being pimped by the state of Delaware for passing through. I was in Delaware all of thirty minutes and paid like $10 in tolls to use their funky little bridges to get to Baltimore, Maryland. Friday, February 17, 2006, 10:17 PM So, I'm cutting up an old medical card from my old job and I could have sworn at the bottom it said, "Plantation Coverage." I was like, "Let me go get my glasses." Well, it didn't say "Plantation Coverage," but I'm thinking maybe that's my mind telling me to quit my job again. I struggle with this every year. Stay, leave, stay, leave, stay, leave. Now my job works around my performing schedule, but I know if I performed full-time I would be doing more things because I would really have to hustle twice as hard. When I first started thinking about leaving my job, I was always soooo close to having a steady income from performing, but there is no such thing as steady when it comes to performing. Monday, February 6, 2006, 12:59 AM I was just thinking, this was the first Superbowl Sunday in at least five years that I did not spend at Nile Goddess's house. I'm going to call her tomorrow and see how she and Jamal Saint John are doing. I'm not a big fan of football. I just watch for the commercials and, this is just my opinion, but none of the commercials moved me this year. Anyway, shout-outs to my sister Sandra. For Christmas I brought her a bag to hold her yarn, a thing to make knitted hats, and one yard of red, one yard of black, and one yard of green yarn. Although I was thinking about ME when I brought her the gift, I didn't think it would come back to bite me in the butt. She loved the gift, because she loves to knit. Last year, as in '05, she made me a queen size blanket and an orange scarf. So, when she opened her gift I said, "I need you to make me a red, black, and green scarf and I need it by February, because it's Black History Month." Well, I came home Friday and she left a giant blue plastic bag on my doorknob. Homegirl made me four scarfs . A red scarf, a black scarf, and a green scarf. She even made me a white scarf. I don't have the heart to tell her I just wanted one scarf. Because she is black, I just assumed she knew what I meant when I asked for a red, black and green scarf. I wore the green one this weekend and people kept asking me where did I get it from because they wanted one. My sister can knit, but she sure didn't know what I was talking about. Friday, January 27, 2006 1:57 PM I've been away for the past week. For some strange reason I keep thinking I haven't seen my mother in like two weeks and I've only seen my daddy like once since the New Year. So, I made up my mind that as soon as I got back to my part of the world I was going to see them. My father was like, "Where have you been?" My mother on the other hand didn't say too much, but looked at me as if I was bothering her. Anyway, since I was so close to Philly this week, I decided to check out some venues in the area. Whisper hooked me up with a list of venues in the area and I was on a mission to hit an open mic. I would have gotten to a few but, in a moment of weakness, I came out of my hotel room and was like, "Is that bacon?" The hotel had free food for breakfast, lunch and dinner and, for some strange reason, on Tuesday morning my veggie-bacon-eating-butt ate two pieces of bacon. I haven't had a piece of PORK bacon in I don't know when. Needless to say, by lunch time I was running back and forth to the bathroom. This lasted for two and a half days. I was so jacked up on Tuesday I just laid on the couch and thanked God for allowing me to breathe in and out. So, to make a long story short, I was only able to check out one spot. I went to Jus Words at Dowling Place and Whisper was nice enough to come after work and say, "Hi." If you haven't heard Whisper, you need to check her out. The venue was nice, the vibe was nice, the open mic was hot and when the host called my name to perform I got a rush of energy like I haven't had in a long time. I did my piece and went back to the back and someone walked up to me and was like, "Why you all incognito?" I was like, "I'm not incognito." He had seen my first DVD and he recognized me from HBO. He was like, "No disrespect, I didn't mean to bother you..." or something like that. So I told him, sometimes you just want to do you. I'm not featuring, no one knows me here, I just wanted to get on the open mic and check out the venue. I guess some people think I'm supposed to walk around and scream my accolades, but that's not me. Anyway, shout-outs to Cali Starks (who was visiting/featuring from Atlanta, GA) and the rest of the Philly poets I met while I was in town. I will definitely go back to Jus Words if I ever get the chance. Saturday, January 21, 2006, 8:42 AM Well, let me tell you what I did last night. I hosted the Brick City Slam at the Newark Museum in Newark, New Jersey. I was born in Newark, lived on a brick street in Newark, graduated from Rutgers Newark, worked in Newark, but it was my first time at the Newark Museum. That place is huge!!!!! I picked up a membership form and I plan on joining. Just think, if it wasn't for poetry I would have never went in the building. Marc Newel, from Arcos Entertainment, asked me last year, like in October, if I would host the slam for him. Hint, Hint, if you want me for a show you gotta' book me in advance. Anyway, Big Mike and Nordette Adams posted the information on their websites and slam groups, and I sent the info out on my group, and I'm sure the Newark Museum did some PR and to make a long story short we had over 300 people there last night. So many people I met told me they had never been to a slam before and wanted to know when I was going to do another one. I was like, "WOW!!!!!!" I perform out of state soooo much I just assumed the poetry scene was dead in the area. Well, you know what they say when you assume. Shout-outs to all of my poetry buddies who came out and participated in the slam. I'm talking, Chad Anderson, Trini The Professor, and Akil (who ended up being a judge). Oh, and extra, extra shout-outs to BIG MIKE who couldn't make it, but sent J. Skills, J. Black, Ashley, TC, and Joel (boy he has gotten big) to help support the event and slam. They are all members of his Youth Slam Team. Oh, and how could I forget the feature guest for the night, MIGUEL ALGARIN and AMIRI BARAKA. They did a thirty minute set together and, thanks to Kasim, Big Chris (who kept the score), the staff at the Newark Museum, the judges (who were picked from the audience) Marc and Tyrus, the show went by without a hitch. Well, except for the two ladies and the guy who cussed me out in the hallway because the slam list was closed, but that's another story. Friday, January 13, 2006, 6:17 PM And the good news is.... My new play, Call Me Crazy, has been chosen to be in the Downtown Urban Theater Festival. I didn't want to say anything, because I didn't want to jinks myself. I found out today I made the festival and I can't stop smiling. I think my year is off to a good start. Saturday, December 31, 2005, 12:12 PM I know I haven't typed in a long time, but I'm okay. I hope to have some good news to share for 2006. I don't want to spill the beans too soon. Just keep your fingers crossed for me. Shout outs to everyone who texted me and sent e-mails to make sure I was okay. I didn't reolize sooooooo many people read my journal page. HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!!! Friday, December 9, 2005, 8:26 AM Happy Birthday To Me, Happy Birthday To Me. Happy Birthday To Meeeeeeeeee, Happy Birthday To Meeeeeeee. Okay, now it's time for the Stevie Wonder version... Tuesday, November 29, 2005, 12:45 AM My best friend, Skillz, wrote and sent this e-mail out to everyone at her job for me. I didn't ask her, but she knew I was stressing trying to help my girls. It's nice to have friends who always have your back: Hi all. My friend Helena, the social worker, is looking for larger sized winter coats for the women in her program. Many of you were very generous last year and earlier this year when she was seeking donations for the women in her step-down facility (these women were in prison and are now in Helena's program and facility for education, job training, supervision to prevent relapse, etc., prior to being completely released back into the public). So, she asked that I reach out to you all again because the women are desperately in need or winter coats as the weather gets increasingly colder. One woman, who wears a size 5XL, only had a sweatshirt to wear outside. So, Helena and another co-worker put their money together and purchased a $25 coat for her. Later, another woman told Helena that the woman went into a room and wept because said that no one had ever done anything nice like that for her in her life and she couldn't believe that they had done that. So, if any of you have larger coats ( they are in need of sixes XL and above) that you were just waiting to get rid of or that are just collecting dust in your closets, we would appreciate it greatly if you would donate them to Helena's program. If you don't have coats this size but know of anyone who does and is willing to donate, please feel free to forward this on to them. If you'd like some more info about the program, let me know and we'll get it to you (hint, hint Helena). Thanks again. Sunday, November 27, 2005, 4:46 PM I went to the mall today to get some new bras, but when I went into "Victoria's Secret" I had to leave. I felt like I was in one of those sex stores in the Village. Who told them to change the layout of the store? I couldn't find anything, I just didn't like it, and I don't want to talk to some seventeen-year-old-almost-woman about what bra is best for me. Needless to say, I didn't get a new bra. Anyway, shout-outs to the following: Red Rat from Jamaica, Bam "The Liquid Robot" and his crew, Jazzy, Michael from Alvin Ailey, Jo-Jo, Darrin Henson, and the entire cast of "Dreams Do Travel." I had a ball backstage and guess who is the sweetest person you ever wanted to meet? Vanessa Williams, from Showtime's "Soul Food." She talked to Butta' and me backstage like she had known us forever and gave us some really good advice. Backstage was a little crazy, but everyone helped each other out and we got through the shows. I took pictures with everyone backstage except Daniel "Don't take a picture of me" Beaty. He was being difficult, but I still love him. He had Butta' and me backstage cracking up. He is so straight forward, he's comical. Oh, in Daniel's defense, he did allow me to stand next to him on stage for a group picture. Oh, before I go, let me tell you how Butta' and I sneaked into the club scene at the end of the show. When I say, "Club Scene" I mean "CLUB SCENE." That scene was soooooo hot. People flipping, free styling, break dancing.... So me and Butta' went onstage and started mixing and mingling, dancing in the background with the extras and, after ten minutes, I was TIRED and thinking, "I need to take my butt back to the gym." We hung in there, but next time I'm going to stay backstage. Thursday, November 24, 2005, 1:07 PM Happy Thanksgiving!!!! Let's start with yesterday. I had to go to a rehearsal. After the rehearsal, I went to BBQ's with Butta' and Kasim and, if you are from the Tri- State area, you know it was cold as heck last night. Anyway, after we ate I was like, "Butta' you want me to drop you off in Harlem?" and he was like, " No." And then the wind started to blow and Butta' said, "You know what, I'll take that ride to Harlem. I can go to the porno store later." I was like, "Butta', you were going to diss us for porn?" I laughed so hard, my back started to hurt and I couldn't catch my breath. I told Butta' I was going to blow his spot up on my website and he was like, "I don't care." So Butta', this entry is for you. Wednesday, November 23, 2005, 4:31 PM Just got home. Now I have to rush to New York for a rehersal. Ever felt like you were soooooo close, but sooooo far at the same time? Sunday, November 20, 2005, 1:02 PM Man, I must have been crazy tired. I just woke up. I've been burning the midnight oil working on my second play, my second CD, and some other stuff. I did the NJPAC show last night. I was sitting back stage with Droopy, Flow and Charles from Serengeti Plains and my cell phone rings. It's Kasim telling me Big Chris can't get in because the show is sold out. I was like, "Talk to Charles, because I can't help you." So, I called Ms. McNeil from my job to tell her the show was sold out. She was like, "What? Oh, we're getting in!!!!" I found out later about a hundred people were turned away from the show, but guess what? Yep, you're right, Ms. McNeil and the two other people from my job got in to see the show. I don't know what they did and I didn't ask. I never did a show where there was sooooooo much food back stage for the performers... of course this made Big Mike very happy. Okay, I guess that's it for now, but before I go I gotta' tell you about "Dreams Do Travel." It's a Hip Hop Musical written and choreographed by Darrin Henson. I have never seen dancing like that in my life. People sliding across the floor, girls bending their legs behind their heads... I can go on and on, but I won't. Butta', Daniel Beaty, and myself will be doing some of our poems during the poetry segment of the show. Saturday, November 12, 2005, 8:45 AM I'm still laughing at Butterfly Soul's sad, sorry, attempt to keep score at the Nuyorican during the Wednesday Night Slam. The story begins... I call Butta' and he meets me at Go Sushi for dinner. Afterwards, we decide to go to the Nuyorican to support Mohogany Brown, because it was her first night taking over the hosting duties from Nathan P. who is now the host of the Friday night slams. Anyway, we get there and we are chilling by the bar and in come Rives (the poet that uses sign language while doing poetry sometimes). We are all chilling, talking about how good poetry has been to us and Mo Brown walks up to us and ask us to slam. We were like, "We didn't come here to slam." Next thing I know Rives get to preaching about how we need to help Mo Brown 'cause it's her first night. That's how he ended up being the goat, Butta' the score keeper, and me, I was the in-between poet. The first poets goes up. Homeboy gets a 5, another 5, and a 3.2. Butta' has a calculator, paper, and pen, but could not come up with the score. He claims he thought he did something wrong and was checking his math, because he'd never seen anyone get a 13.2 in a slam. Wait, there is more. Butta' was so bad, Rives had to tell him the scores which he added in his head as the night progressed. Butta' didn't get the hang of things until the night was almost over. I don't understand. On another note, shout-outs to Claudia Allick, Peuo, Daniel Beaty, Kool Breeze and Kayo. We were hanging at NJIT last night for the ACUI conference. We had to present for HerStory and Daniel ripped a 15 minute snippet of "Emergence-SEE." Wednesday, November 9, 2005, 7:30 AM I'm proud of myself. I've been sticking to my schedule working on my second play and my CD. I blocked out time in my schedule to work on both projects, because it wasn't working out before. Anyway, I have to type a few things. Let's start with, "CRACKHEADS GONE WILD." I'm walking down 125th Street in Harlem with two close friends, another female, and a little boy. Well, you know how they sell everything imaginable on 125th Street? Good!!! Why did my two poetry/singer/performer friends and the female I was with want to buy a DVD called, >CRACKHEADS GONE WILD?" I just couldn't get over that. Yesterday, I'm hanging again with one of them and he buys "CRACKHEADS GONE WILD" so they can all have a "CRACKHEADS GONE WILD" viewing gathering. So, I asked the young man selling the DVD about the production of the documentary, or whatever you want to call it, and dude says to me, "We don't advocate the smoking of any drugs and we do not show anyone smoking any drugs. We just show what they 're like after they smoke the drugs." Maybe it's because I'm a social worker, maybe it's because I ran a drop in center for prostitutes, maybe it's because I had a family member that was on drugs, maybe it's because I'm just tired of people becoming accustomed to laughing at people instead of trying to help people in need, but I will never purchase a DVD of that nature. I left my friends' names out on purpose, but they know who they are. Tuesday, November 1, 2005, 12:30 AM Oh my GOD!!!! I feel sick to my stomach. I'm on line doing some research and by accident I cyber stumbled over a blog talking about another poet I know. Dude was walking down the street and was attacked. All I can think of is, "I was just thinking about him." Now I'm thinking about all the people I've met since I've been performing... who I've managed to stay in contact with and who I lost contact with... not to mention all of the people I know who have died the past three years... It's just crazy. You work hard and someone comes out of no where and shoots you. You walking down the street minding your business and you get jumped... I have to travel by myself when I perform and I try to be careful, but stuff likes this just freaks me out. It's like humans have no humanity. Saturday, October 29, 2005, 10:06 AM I'm not even going to tell you how I was scheduled to leave work yesterday at 12:00 PM, but ended up working until 11:45 PM. The poem is coming. On another note the show I'm doing at the New Jersery Performing Arts Center, is on Saturday, November 19, 2005. Just go to my schedule page for more info and tickets. I have the flyer for it, but I don't know how to make it small enought to fit on my website. You know what? I need someone to help me rebuild my website. I've been saying that forever and a day, but now I'm ready to make it happen. So, if you know someone that is good at website design e-mail me. Sunday, October 23, 2005, 10:43AM Being the dedicated social worker I am... I went to work on Saturday from 2pm to 6pm. I took a client home to see her mother she hadn't seen her in two years. The client that I took is on my caseload and she talked her mother into letting a homeless, drug addict move into her home. When I found that out I was like, "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!" The homeless, addict is also a client that came through the program and is not doing the things she needs to do to stay clean and sober. Anyway, we get to her mother's home and the first thing I notice is the left side of her mother face isn't quite right. I really believe her mother had a mild stroke in her sleep. However, she has not medical insurance and she is fifty-eight years old. I'm going to make arrangements on Monday for her to go to a local hospital to get charity care, but isn't that sad. In the U.S.A. people can't go to the doctor when they are sick, because they can't afford to see a doctor. Anyway, I spoke to the mother who is of course concern that her daughter is going to come out and go right back on drugs. She is also o worried about the girl that moved into her home. I was like did you give her keys? The mother said, "No." Thank goodness for that. I told that woman, “Don’t let your daughter talk you into doing something you don't want to do. This is your home!!!!!!” The daughter packed all of homeless, drug addicts belongings and put them on the enclosed porch… because she told the mother she was going to be moving… because she feels paying 100.00 for rent per week is too much and she was upset the mother wouldn't let her use the washer and dryer. Which of course made the mother upset. I just don't know what is wrong with people. My client thanked me for taking her to see her mother, but I told her, "I didn't do it for you I did it for your mother." There is so much more to this story… but thinking about everything is making me mad. Sunday, October 9, 2005, 1:41 PM I've been sooooo busy, my days are kinda jumbled together. In the past thirty days I've been on fourteen airplanes. I did a show at Western Carolina University on September 29, 2005 with Peuo, La Bruja, and Vanessa Hidary. Kayo called me two weeks before the event and asked me if I could step in for Claudia Alick and be their swing poet because she couldn't do the gig. So, now I'm the official "HerStory Swing Poet." Fancy words for "stand-in." Anyway, ten rehearsals later, a bunch of trips from Jersey to the York Theater and we were on a flight to North Carolina. The other poets were on a different flight so I met them for our connecting flight in Atlanta, GA, which is where the fun begins. My flight was delayed out of JFK because the airplane was too heavy. Airplane officials came in and escorted two standby passengers off of the plane. Some crazy non-flying dude was behind me like, "Who ever heard of an airplane being too heavy?" So, I was like, "If the plane is too heavy we could all DIE!" Anyway, I was worried I wasn't going to meet the girls in Atlanta, but I did. Before we all got on the connecting flight, Peuo was like, "Look at that cute little boy." I looked at the kid and, being an expert in deviant behavior, said, "That boy is bad. Look at him." This kid got on the airplane, took off all of his clothes, and was running up and down the lane. I tried to stick my foot out to trip him, like, two times. When we finally landed, I was in the airport bathroom with La Bruja when she realized she had taken the wrong luggage from curbside at the airplane. She goes flying out of the bathroom back to the runway. We had to go to baggage claim to get her luggage where that bad little boy was at it again. He jumped up on the baggage belt and tried to walk through the hole where the luggage comes out. La Bruja got her bag and we were off to the show. We received a Standing-O and then we all went to the WAFFLE HOUSE. Yes, I love the WAFFLE HOUSE. They didn't want to go, but it was the only thing open at the time so it worked in my favor. Hey, did you know there are mountains in southern North Carolina? The campus we performed at was surrounded by mountains. Can you say, "BEAUTIFUL?" Now, yesterday, I did the Mid-Atlantic Spoken Word Festival in South Jersey. I drove three hours in the pouring rain to get there. My car stalled out three times, but I told Linda I would perform and a promise is a promise. So many poets get bad reputations by not showing up for shows and then they act all surprised when people don't want to book them for stuff. I'm going to take my car to the shop on Monday. I have a few shows coming up and I don't want to be without transportation to the airport or to the venues. So, hopefully, it was just the rain. Oh, shout outs to Michael O'Hara from Philly. He massaged the hell out of my back. I tried to move all of my worldly possessions in a day by myself from upstairs to downstairs and I was in soooo much pain. He used to be a professional massage therapist and he also showed me some stretching exercises for my back. He also advised me never to try to move all my stuff in one day by myself:) Monday, September 19, 2005, 6:57 PM Let's start with my last trip to Florida with the family for my Aunt Lois' funeralAunt Lois and my grandma are in the same double plot. I didn't know my grandma was born in 1912. I also found out that my great, great, great grandma on my mother's side of the family was half Cherokee Indian. I always thought my mother's light complexion was from another source. Anyway, before I go any further, let me tell you this crazy story my cousin Brian told us while we were there. What's up with, when he was younger he decided he wanted to jump on the roof of the house. Yes, I said, "He tried to jump on the roof of his house from the ground." I'm talking twenty feet from the ground to the roof. He missed and broke his ankle or something. If you listen to him tell the story you can tell he was nowhere near making it to the roof, but he swears he almost made it. His mother, my Aunt Hermanlee, wanted to have him mentally evaluated. So, Cousin Brian, for the record, none of your siblings, your cousins from Jersey, or your Aunt and Uncle from Jersey (my mother and father ) believe you almost made it. Okay, moving on to my latest adventures as a traveling poet. I did a show at Salem College in North Carolina. I've done well over two hundred college shows, but Salem College knows how to treat a traveling artist. Shout-outs to Sarah Timko for picking me up, taking me to the hotel, taking me shopping, making sure I ate and getting me to the airport the next day. Oh, before I forget, "Hi Patrick." Patrick was one of the people that came to the show. I picked on him all night long. He's a good sport. Now, before I go, my job sent me to Newark, NJ to run a program for male prisoners. What's up with, the person in charge of the program before I got there allowed the prisoners to go to NJPAC on Thursday nights for the free jazz concerts. Now, being from Northern New Jersey, I have been to NJPAC on a Thursday night a few times and it is not the place where you want 20 mentally ill individuals roaming around without supervision. That's all I have to say. Oh, and get this, they can go to NJPAC and stand up from 5 pm to 10:30 pm but refuse to sit in a group for 45 minutes to discuss relapse prevention. I shut all that down. I even sent two prisoners back to the main prison on Thursday. I'm pretty sure those were two prostitutes that followed them into the building. Anyway, today was my last day there and I go back to the program in Paterson with the women tomorrow. From what I found out today, another girl got sent back to prison for having a cell phone in her happy area. What's up with these women putting cell phones in their vaginas? I hope they wrapped them in a plastic bag or something first. But, no matter how you look at it, it's nasty. Monday, August 29, 2005, 2:57 PM When it rains, it pours. I was driving my car on Saturday on the way to Sandra's house (my oldest sister). I hear this noise coming from the engine area that does not sound right. I went home, parked the car and decided not to drive it until I take it to my mechanic. Big Chris and Kasim came over and popped the trunk and noticed one of the belts was torn. To make a long story short, Big Chris was nice enough to drive me to the mall to get these shoes I had to have and today my plan was to drop the car off, walk 1/2 mile to the bus stop and catch two buses to go to work in Paterson, New Jersey. Well, that is not what happened. As soon as I got off of 280, on my way to the mechanic, my car over-heated and I was unable to steer it. My non-Triple A-having-self was stuck on the side of the road and it was 7:30 am. I called my job, because I was supposed to take some of the prisoners to a job fair. That's the only reason I was willing to walk 1/2 mile to a bus stop, and catch two buses (approximately two hours) to go to work. I know what you are saying, "Prisoners at a job fair?" But, if someone doesn't give them a chance to work a legal job, how can they ever change? Anyway, the tow guy doesn't come for like an hour. Meanwhile, I call Rob "To The Rescue" Hylton and he came, waited with me and dropped me home after I got the car to the shop. Oh, Skillz is okay. I spoke to her yesterday and she was home. Well, to make a long story short, I never made it to work and while I'm in the middle of all my personal drama, my job calls me and says, " Ms. Lewis, we know you are having problems, but the girls want to know who is going to take them to the job fair." I wanted to say, "Not me. I'm stuck in Newark and I'm trying to get a tow truck. Hello!!" But, I had already made arrangements with a co-worker to take the girls to the job fair, right after I called for a tow truck. I need a raise, an award, something! Sunday, August 28, 2005, 5:08 PM I tell you, if it's not one thing it's another. My aunt Lois passed away and I'm getting ready to go to Florida for the funeral. I was supposed to go on vacation, but I had to cancel the trip to go to the funeral. I didn't know her very well, but she told the best stories. My mother is doing okay. She told me the other day, "Everyone has gone and left me." She was talking about being the last of her siblings to still be alive. I also can't find Skillz. In between planning air travel for five people, renting a car, working out my days off from work, figuring out who was going to take care of the dogs while we were gone, I forgot Skillz went to New Orleans. From looking at the news, she is in the middle of that hurricane. I called her cell phone, but she didn't answer. I wonder if she has free roaming and long distance. Well, I'm just going to hope no new is good news. Thursday, Augsut 25, 2005, 11:02 PM I've been wanting to type for awhile now. Now, I have so much stuff to write about, I don't know where to start. So, let me start with how Uche', Skillz, Myra and I almost got KICKED out of Chester Gregory's CD Release Party at the CUTTING ROOM in NYC. We get to the CUTTING ROOM at 11:30 PM because we got stuck in a traffic jam on 280 for almost two hours because of an accident. To make a long story short, we were tired, needed to use the bathroom and hungry. We ordered like $40 in food, ate and went to the part of the venue where you can listen to the bands that are performing. We sit down and the waitress is like, "There is a $10 cover per person." So we told her we just spent $40 eating on the other side, and she is, like, "Well that's in the other room and in this room there is a $10 cover per person." Meanwhile, Chester Gregory is performing, security comes to escort us out, the waitress gives me a $40.00 bill for ONE SPRITE soda. IT GOT REALLY UGLY. I told Skillz we need to call "Shame On You," because their "policy" was not posted; not on the flyer, not on the table, not at the door. They could not show us anywhere in writing that this was their policy. I'm never going back there again. Now, before I forget, what's up with one of the prisoners got sent back for having a cell phone in her "happy area." I'm just going to assume it was wrapped in plastic. We knew she had a cell phone (can't have a cell phone if you are an inmate), but we couldn't find it... I guess when she got to the main prison they did a cavity search. Anyway, MAD SHOUT OUTS to Chester Gregory for hooking a sister up with a ticket to see "Hairspray" on Broadway. He plays Seaweed in the show. After the show, I was able to meet some of the cast members and we, as in Chester, Daniel Beatty, and another guy whose name I can't remember, went to eat. Oh, and for the record, Daniel Beatty is comical. Inside joke, "Is your mother fat?" Friday, August 12, 2005, 8:08 PM Wow, can I tell you about the Midnight Poetry Jams at the National Black Theater Festival. The first night we had 500 people, the second and third night 700 people, and the last night 1, 200 people.. One night, there was all types of drama going on before the show and security escorted me inside for my personal safety. Is that not funny or what? Me, Helena D. Lewis, who has roamed in and out of crack-houses, been caught in the middle of a unit fight at the Essex County Youth House, and followed by sex offenders, had to be escorted in for my personal safety. Every time I think about it I giggle but, there were like 300 people in the hallway. Anyway, Irma P Hall, Sherman Helmsley, Phyllis Yvonne Stickney, Dr. Glory Van Scott, Byrd from the Judge Judy Show, and Chester Gregory all came out and did poems. Sherman Helmsley told me backstage that he was nervous about doing his poem and I looked at him like, "What!?! Are you crazy!! You're George Jefferson!!" As soon as he stepped onstage the crowd went crazy. This year, when I get my pictures back, I'm going to put them on my website. Shout-outs to the Grizzlies. They took care of me along with Gloria from security, Tim, Cynthia, TC, Weusi, Rev Lee, Jerrand, Chris, Malcom-Jamal Warner. Oh, and shout-outs to all the poets that came through, Yolanda K. Wilkerson, Mark Joseph Bamuthi, Daniel Beatty, D-Noble, Nathan James, Quill, and the list goes on. Friday, July 29, 2005, 7:45 AM I did an internet radio show with some of the cast members from the TV series I'm in yesterday. Nordette Adams from www.powertalkfm.com hooked it up for us. Her website is www.mojo411.com. In fact, you can go to her website and see the trailer for the TV show. The best part about the interview was working with the other cast members. Some of them never did an interview before and it was so cute. Hopefully, this is the start of better things to come. I'm talking, quitting my 9 to 5. Oh, before I go, I just got done taking a playwriting class. What's with one of my classmates was in World War II when he was a teenager. He is, like, 80 years old and the teacher's great, great, great, great, times some more, grandfather was President Grant. I can't trace my family tree past my great grandparents. All I know for sure is we are descendents of slaves, and on my mother's side, when we were set free, we became sharecroppers and, no matter how hard my great grand parents worked, they still couldn't pay the plantation owner for borrowing on the crops so my great grandmother and my father on my mother's side puts the kids in a wagon and ran away in the middle of the night and settled in another city. I won't say the name of the city, but I know it, because we still have family there. I wish I knew more. Oh, and I also know that the man who married one of my aunties great, great, great times something grandmother was sold into slavery by her own mother in Africa and when she was brought to the United States she told her kids "If my mother had known it was going to be like this she would have never sold me." Okay, that's it for me, but I don't know how I went from TV show to my family history. Friday, July 22, 2005, 12:19 AM In 2003 I co-hosted the Midnight Poetry Jams at the National Black Theater Festival in North Carolina. I worked my butt off down there. I was there helping to set up at 11pm, hosting until 3am, meeting with the promoter every night to figure out how to make the next show better, up at 7am, doing radio interviews, stopping the show from being shut down because there were so many people trying to get in security thought there might be a riot. I remember handing the microphone to Malcolm-Jamal Warner (my co-host), jumping off the stage, running outside into the main lobby, jumping on a table and telling a crowd of over one hundred, "Please vacate the lobby, you're not going to get in and the last thing we want is for the poetry reading to be shut down." I busted my butt and when I got back to Jersey I slept for two days straight and had lost five pounds operating on no sleep for five days. I just got my ticket confirmation from the festival and I going back this year to co-host. However, I plan to co-host, go to the Waffle House as often as I can, check out a few plays, and not get caught up in security issues this year. I'll leave that for TC, Weusi, and Rev Lee. Tuesday, July 12, 2005, 12:57 AM The Show That Never Was... The story begins last Thursday, I drive to a spot in New York, because Stan sent out an e-mail stating I was featuring. How does one turn, "I'll come through" to "You're the feature," I don't know. I get there and it was like a Jersey reunion. Jamaal St. John, Nile Goddess, Flow, Krosswords, Myra and the atmosphere. The venue owners were like, "No one came because of the terrorist attack in London." That's not what I was thinking, but the crew knows what I'm talking about. We stood in the hallway and cracked jokes on each other for like two hours then we went outside and continued for like another hour. After everyone decided who was going in whose car, Krosswords, Myra, and I went on a mission to Tad's to get something to eat. I didn't realize how far it was until after we walked like five blocks and I had on heels. We get to Tad's, we eat and we talk for like two hours. Tad's closed and we're still inside talking, but no one said, "Y'all gotta' go." We didn't realize they had closed until we tried to get out of the building and discovered that we were locked inside the building. To make a long story short, we're walking back to my car and we walk right past it talking. So, we had to double back like three blocks, then we couldn't find the Lincoln Tunnel. Yeah, we knew where it was, but we kept following these sign for the Lincoln Tunnel that took us everywhere but the Lincoln Tunnel. Oh, before I go... to the poet who tried to sneak into the taping of Def Poetry Jam to get on-stage, got busted and got banned from the show for life, messed up your reputation and got labeled "CRAZY"....Why are you mad at me when I told you personally, "I can't work with you. Your name is mud," while others decided to say it behind your back. You know things are bad for a poet when people from five different states call me up and say, "Yo, do you know a poet named ..." Saturday, July 2, 2005, 10:54 AM Well, I guess one can say, "You got what you asked for Helena." I woke up Wednesday to my cell phone ringing. It's my job and it is 7:30 am. I just went to bed around 3 am (I was up writing). "Ms. So & So is having stomach pains. She has been in pain all night." I call the nurse consultant and she is not home. I call my supervisor and she informs me Ms. So & So is HIV positive and I have to call the prison to get permission to take her to the hospital. I say, "Okay." I called the program and said, "Dial 911 I'll figure it out when I get there." I'm flying out of my house doing 90 mph on the Parkway, I get to the facility, and all HELL has broke loose. The staff on duty was trying to keep the EMT people from taking the lady out of building, because I wasn't there. I tell the EMT people take her to the nearest hospital and I will meet you in the ER. Ms. So & So appendix was about to burst and she ended up in surgery. Now, what if I had followed the proper channels to get permission to transport a human being having a medical emergency before I gave the order to dial 911? I got reprimanded for not following the proper procedures, but I'll do it again. Tuesday, June 28, 2005, 10:34 PM I'm on call this week at my job. I received phone calls from the weekend/night staff asking me, "Can people work extra hours at their jobs? Can we use a dollar out of piety cash? Can blah, blah, blah something minor?" However, no one called me to tell me one of the prisoners escaped the program, ran down the street, got chased by a police officer and two Correctional Officers from the main prison. I don't know maybe it's just me, but it seems like someone should have called me to say, "Ms. Lewis we have a problem. One of the prisoners is being chased down the street by a police officer and two CO's." Friday, June 3, 2005, 7:34 PM I'm about to go hang out, but picture this... I'm at work, in a two piece pin-stripe suit, a very fashionable white top, six inch heels, and my brand new wire glasses. I'm walking down the steps, okay, I'm running down the steps like I usually do and there is a female inmate behind me. Somehow the orange key chain thing on my keys hooks on to my right heel, and the next thing I know I'm going head first down the steps (approximately 40 steps). It's a good thing Skillz and I were really into kickboxing and we took classes for like six months, because I would have been jacked up. Why? Oh, in kickboxing class we were taught how to fall down. When I recovered from my little tumble, I said to Ms. Doe (the inmate that was behind me), "Why didn't you try to help me?" So, she says to me, "Ms. Lewis I wanted to help you, but I didn't want anyone to think that I pushed you down the stairs" My response, "So, you were going to let me die." Now, I've decided it would be in my best interest to take my time and walk slowly down the stairs. Sunday, May 27, 2005, 8:48 AM Finally, after five months of chaos, torture, broken promises, unnecessary drama, and learning things the hard way, my last "More Than Words" show at the Luna Stage is over. Someone asked me if I would do it again and I was like, "No." Well, maybe not anytime soon. I can see why Dave Chappelle bounced to South Africa: the pressure to do a show once a month, writing new sketches, promoting, dealing with bureaucracy, the theater, and the list goes on. Now, I'm just looking forward to relaxing for the rest of the summer and taking my playwright and acting class. The funny thing is, everyone who came to any of the "More Than Words" show loved it and I think that if they new all the drama that went into doing any of the shows they would appreciate and love them even more. On another note, shout outs to Big Mike for making the Nuyorian 2005 National Slam Team. Saturday, May 20, 2005, 11:00 PM Yo, you wanna' read something that is messed up? Since you are still reading, I'm assuming the answer is yes. One of the residents at my old program had a heart attack last Saturday. Two arteries collapsed on him and they took him to the hospital. The registered nurse that works with all the programs for my agency went to check on him in the hospital on Monday. Because he is a prisoner, there were two Correctional officers guarding him and they had one of his legs shackled to the bed. The man was in IC a step from death and they had him shackled to the bed with two guards in the room watching him. Where was he going? That's the Department of Corrections for you. On another note, congratulations to my boy ECJ on his recent marriage. Thursday, May 12, 2005, 9:35 PM Well, let's start with, I drove to Rhode Island last Friday with Rob Hylton to do a show at a college. The school was doing a late night type variety show. They had four things going on at the same time and one of them was a "Poetry Slam." I use quotations because, since I've been doing college shows, most colleges actually believe a poetry reading is the same as a slam, Anyway, we get there at 10:05 PM. We go running in, because the show is supposed to start at 10:00 PM. We walk into the building and there are like two students riding a toilet bowl and there is no one in the room where the "poetry slam" is supposed to be. When I say "no one," I mean the atmosphere and the furniture are the only things in the room. Rob and I sit in the room and a guy comes and says, "Oh, y'all the poets? Y'all can't start whenever you feel like it." And then dude leaves us. I look at Rob, Rob looks at me and we walk out into the hallway and find a staff member who was able to tell us that the late night shows don't always go over well. Well, being groomed at Bogies where our motto was, "Whether there is one person or ten-thousand, everyone gets the same show," I jump onstage and start telling jokes and doing poems. Rob was like, "What's up?" and I was like my contract says 45 minutes and I'm going to do 45 minutes. Eventually a security guard comes in. So, I tell him to have a seat, I ask him a few questions and then I start performing just for him. Forty minutes later two more people come in the room, then Rob gets on stage and three more people come in the room. So, basically what I'm saying is we drove four hours to perform for six people and still got paid. Gotta love poetry. Afterwards, Rob wanted to drive back to Jersey. I was like you can drive back, but I'm worried about the owl that is going to be stuck to my windshield and the bushes that are going to get stuck in my back seat. He didn't get the joke. So I had to break it down like this, "It's my car, my keys and the school has two hotel suites waiting for us. I'm going to sleep and we are staying in Rhode Island and driving home in the morning. Driving while sleepy is the worst thing any performer can do. It's just not safe. Friday, April 15, 2005 10:34 PM I'm in Kansas, so it's 11:34 pm in Jersey. I was walking to my hotel room and saw a computer in the lobby. Actually, the computer called my name and made me sit down to check my e-mail. I did a show at the University of Kansas. So, I gotta' shout out a few people. LaQuesah, her son J (my new best friend), Jane for making sure I got a hat for my father, Magan, Travis (who cracked on my hand writing) and all the students who came to the show. This is my first time in Kansas and I can't stop singing, "Somewhere Over The Rainbow." The show went well. I knew it was going to go well when I got stopped at the Newark Airport and security searched my HAIR. Yes, I said, "They searched my hair." Let me paint you a picture. I re-twisted the first two rows of locks on my head, I left the clips in, and tied my hair down. I go through the metal detector and the next thing I know, security is coming my way with the hand wand. The zippers on my pants were going off (this never happened before) and the clips in my hair were going off (this nevered happened before either). I guess they got some new and improved metal detectors. The lady security guard patted me down and then put her hands in my hair and searchd my hair. Have you seen the picture on my journal page? I have a lot of hair. Oh well, at least they didn't call for the bomb sniffing dogs to smell me again. Oh, y'all don't know that story. Friday, April 8, 2005 10:25 PM I'm not doing too good. Well, not too good emotionally. I just got back from a wake. A friend of mine was murdered on Wednesday and I found out today. Julia Barney called my cell phone this morning around 11 am. She got my number from James who used to pack out sodas at Shop-Rite. Shoot, now that I think about it, we all grew up at Shop-Rite, Julia, David, Malika, Shantel, Terrel, Tammy, my friend who was murdered, and a whole bunch of other people I saw at the wake tonight. His name was Phillip Damian Johnson, but I called him Flip. Anyway, I was so upset I had to leave work. Thank goodness for me, Julia woke up with me on her mind and called James. who had my cell phone number. I would have missed the wake and the funeral tomorrow. I don't know the details, but a group of guys car-jacked and shot him. He was alive after the shooting, but died at UMDNJ. All I can think of since I found out is, what a waste. He was a good man, a good father, a good son to his mother, and a good friend. I hope they catch who killed him and I hope they catch them soon. So Flip, thanks for everything. Thanks for driving me home after work when we were working at Shop-Rite, thanks for keeping me laughing every time the Shop-Rite Crew would hang out, thanks for trying to drive me home in a blizzard, even though we got stuck in your red Honda CRX on 280 and ran out of gas, thanks for snatching me up from Rutgers with James Allrich and taking me to get my first beeper from the Beeper Factory back in 1991. I'm gonna' miss you. Saturday, April 2, 2005, 9:02 PM Last Wednesday, I had to do a show at Iona College. I had to pick up Roz G at 6 pm and meet Stan and Don Chula at 6:30 PM to drive up together. So, I left work at 5pm and went down the fire escape. Now, I've used this escape route numerous times before but last Wednesday, when I got to the bottom and turned the corner to walk to my car, I fell in a pot hole. My ankle was jacked up. I'm talking it was hurting for the rest of the night. Anyway, I was running behind schedule, I picked up Roz and called Stan and told him I was running late. Now this is where the story really gets good. Stan is in his truck with Don Chula and I'm in my car with Roz and he is like, "Follow me." So, to make a long story short, Roz is like, " Why is he taking the Holland Tunnel?" So, I said, "Maybe he has to pick up another poet or a comedian." Two minutes later Stan calls Roz on her cell phone and says something to her about did we have the directions. So, I pull up next to Stan and hand him my directions. So we ended up taking the Holland Tunnel from Jersey to go to the GW Bridge. I know, backwards. Anyway, I'm following Stan, next thing I know I can't find Stan and Roz and I are lost. We had to call Stan for Stan to read us the directions we gave him before we crossed the Holland Tunnel. After a few wrong turns and a couple of cell phone conversations that began with "Where are you?" we finally make it to Iona. Roz and I busted on Stan all night long. I'm talking, in his face, behind his back and all the way home. How you gonna' take the Holland Tunnel to go to the GW Bridge? Anyway shout outs to all the students I met after the show. I met lots, I'm talking Sam, Josh, Rebecca, Liz, Ruby, Ruth... March 10, 2005, 10:38 PM Okay where do I start? Picture this, Big Mike is on stage, I'm standing next to Krosswords eating pumpkin seeds and drinking a soda, we're at Rutgers University (the Newark campus... i.e. the University where I obtained my degree in biology), Big Mike is setting up his "Vote For Me in 2008" poem, he asks the crowd, which consisted of approximately 20 to 25 college students, "Who voted?" I start to clap, then I notice I'm the only one clapping, so I say, "What, was I the only one who voted?" The crowd is silent, I look at Krosswords, I look at Myra, I look at Krosswords (now that I think about it, Krosswords didn't clap either), I stop eating my pumpkin seeds. I'm in shock, I feel weak, I feel like getting a gun and shooting some people. Big Mike starts pointing people out. He wants to know "Why didn't you vote?" These were the responses, "Oh, I had to study and I didn't get a chance to vote." "We all know one vote doesn't really count." " He took New Jersey anyhow." I look at Krosswords, I look at Myra, I look at Krosswords and then I get really, really, MAD. I was like, "Oh my goodness, with thinking like that, next election I might be picking cotton and living on a plantation somewhere." I start to sing "Wade In The Water," Krosswords sings with me; he is mad (although I don't remember him clapping). After the show, we talk about how we felt and tried to process our disgust, but it wasn't working out. So, I tell Krosswords to go home and write a poem about it and we can do a group piece about it... I'm still MAD! March 5, 2005, 1:30 AM Well, never a dull moment in my life. Let's not get into how two prisoners escaped on Friday and one tried to jump out of a window. I'm seriously thinking about writing a book. Between the prostitutes and the prisoners, I might have a best seller. Anyway, I was thinking about a few things. You know, poetry stuff. I have to add Mahogany Brown to my list of poetry troupers. A few weeks ago I did a show with her at 12 Miles Theater. Homegirl shows up with her left foot in a cast and crutches. She broke her ankle but limped up to the stage and handled her business. I signed her cast.:) I also have to add Shadowkat and Akil to my list of poetry troupers, because they showed up in the middle of a very mild snow storm to do a show with me at Rutgers University last week. Anyway, I went to Port Africa yesterday. I featured with D the Schizophrenic. Port Africa kinda reminded me of Serengeti Plains, but bigger. They had a massage room, they were doing hair, they had like a billion and one items you could purchase. I was walking around the room and messed around and bumped into a statue that cost $250.00 and then I bumped into a drum that cost more than that so, I sat my broke butt down. I did walk up to the register to pay for a wood carving of some stick men. It cost $12.00 and I wanted to support the spot. The owner gave it to me for FREE. I was like, "Thanks!" I'm going to put it on my desk at work so, the next time the "people in charge" say something stupid, I have witnesses. Hey, you gotta' get support where you can. Oh, well let me go to bed, I'm tired. I did a show with Likwid, MAD, and Akil at the Luna Stage. They were fantastic and they were on time. The only problem, MAD had to take a different train so he got to Penn Station a little later then we had planned, but he called. To make a long story short, great show, great people, great audience, and Chris Davis made his acting debut at this show. He did a voice-over for us for the Anger Management scene. March 3, 2005, 9:30 AM I need a new job, or I need to become famous like yesterday, because working for the company I work for is not the move. I've never seen a place where the entire infrastructure functioned on chaos. Yesterday, I went to work to find out one of the prisoners set the first floor on fire. There's a hole in the wall, black smut everywhere, and they fired a lady who was with the company for eight years. Granted, someone had to get fired, but the bigger picture as far as I 'm concerned is, if you HIRE the help you KNOW we need instead of having the SAME person WORK sixteen doubles in a roll, maybe the entire incident would not have happened. However, when you're working with inmates and one of them decides to set the building on fire, which is what I think happened, can one really stop them for doing wrong? Thank GOD no one got hurt. The room right next to the fire was empty because I sent two people out for UPS interviews. If the room was occupied, the residents in the room would have had to jump out of the window to escape, because the fire started by the emergency exit floor around midnight. Now that I think about it, I don't think one of the ladies could have gotten out of the window if she wanted to, because she is well over 300 lbs, and the window is small like the back seat windows in my car. So, to make a long story short, the treatment team had an "emergency" meeting (in quotation marks because things have been jacked up for a long time) to discuss what happened. Now, this is when I decided I needed a new job. The treatment director says, "Well, maybe we can get a fireman to come in and do a fire and safety workshop." I was like, "Okay, but what are we going to do about the ladies who are suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder, and have been freaking out because they lost family members due to fire, and what about Ms. Doe who lost her entire family in one fire (six kids, mother, father, all at one time)?" I'm going on-line to start working on my application for graduate school today. My plans right now are to keep going on auditions and go back to school in September, because I have to leave. Thursday, February 3, 2005, 8:29 PM What's really good? I learned that from Doughboy. Anyway, I spent all of last night, or should I say early this morning, at Mountainside Hospital in Montclair. But, before you get the 411 on that, let me tell you about Tuesday. Tuesday, I went to work at 7 am because I had to transport a prisoner to a municipal court appearance that was on my caseload. I get ready to drive the prisoner back to the halfway house and I'm like, "What's that noise?" The company van had a flat tire and I was basically up a creek without a paddle. I pulled over, I called the office on my cell phone and they ask me do I have AAA. I was like, "No, but I'm in Linden, NJ with a DOC inmate/resident and I don't know how to change a tire. Who is going to come get us and what is the company procedure?", Their response, "Do you have a cell phone we can call you back at and maybe you can walk to a gas station for help." Okay Einstein, you don't have to say anything to me. I'm on my own with an inmate. A few minutes later, Johnny Walker Red walks up to me and says, "Y'all need some help?" I most certainly do. Johnny Walker Red isn't his real name, but by the time dude walked up to me, I realized that he smelled like a combination of all the alcohol in the world. Before he asked me if I needed help, I had searched search the back of the van, only to learn the spare tire was under the van and I had no idea how to work the jack, but I was sitting on the back of the van with the door open about to give it the old college try. Dude changed the tire. He laid in the middle of the street in the mud and snow, and changed my tire. Dude had mud all down the back of his clothes. At first I was going to give him $20, but I ended up giving him $40 just because of the mud that was all over his coat and clothes. Now, back to me being at Mountainside Hospital, to which I wouldn't recommend anyone send their dog. That's all I have to say about Mountainside Hospital for now. Monday, January 31, 2005, 4:00 PM You wanna' talk about kool? Kool, is sitting on-stage next to Gordon from Sesame Street and Marilyn from The Munsters. The story begins Friday, January 28, 2005. I sneak down the fire escape of my job to make a 5 pm rehearsal. Kirk Mouser from the Luna Stage asked me to take part in a reading of Mayo Simon's new play, "Perfect Wedding." I say, " Yes" because I think it will give me the chance to get a mini-acting lesson for free. I'm at rehearsal, the cast is in a semi-circle and I can't for the love of God figure out where I know the person who is playing the father from. After the rehearsal, he walks up to me and says, "Helena I picked up one of your cards from the lobby and visited your web site. Who takes your pictures?" I proceed to tell him about baron. and how I just learned to put pictures on my web site. After he leaves, I say to Kirk Mouser, "His voice is so familiar, but I just can't place it, I know him from somewhere." That's when Kirk says, "Oh, that is Roscoe Orman. He plays Gordon on Sesame Street and the lady who plays your mother is Beverly Owen from the Munsters." I was like, "What!" Now, hold that thought. After rehearsal, I stick around the Luna Stage, because I have to perform for a Tsunami benefit that was hosted by Frankie Faison, who is really down to earth. If you don't know who he is, he's on the HBO series, The Wire, and he was the landlord in Coming To America. He is on the Board of Directors at the Luna Stage. Anyway, somehow I ended up on-stage pulling tickets for door prizes and when he introduced me to perform, I was like, "I'm multi-talented. Ticket puller/poet." Okay, back to the main story. The next day I had rehearsal from 1 pm to 6 pm and the reading started at 8 pm. After the reading, Frankie Faison complimented me on my poem and we talked for a little bit about writing and performing poetry. On Sunday I had another reading at 2 pm and, after the reading, I talked to Roscoe and Beverly about poetry and acting. I even got some advice from them. I asked Roscoe about where I should go to take some acting classes and he said he would like for me to take his class, but I can't, because I teach a class at ECC on Mondays for the Fashion Entertainment Board, and his classes are on Mondays. So, he is going to recommend an acting class for me to take and I'm going to take Mayo to a poetry reading in New York, and he is going to give me notes on my play. But, I tell you having the chance to work with not one, but three seasoned actors was priceless. And, to get notes on my play from Mayo Simon, WOW!!!!!! HDL chillin' with Roscoe Orman Saturday, January 22, 2005, 8:00 PM It had to snow today. The day of my show at the Luna Stage. I'm supposed to be on stage right now with the rest of my poetry buddies. I think I jinxed the show, because last week I said to myself, "I bet it snows next Saturday." Wednesday, Big Mike calls my cell phone and says, "What you gonna' do about the snow on Saturday Helena D. Lewis." Like I had God's cell phone number and could place a call to stop the snow. I told Big Mike, "It's just a light snow covering, not a blizzard." I know I was in serious denial, but sometimes the weather people are incorrect. To make a long story short, I told all the poets we would make the call to cancel the show on Saturday at 12 noon. I'm a trooper, I've driven through a blizzard to perform, driven through a hurricane to perform, driven from Florida to Trenton, NJ to perform on Thanksgiving and the list goes on and on, but I know everyone is not like me. However, I gotta' shout-out a few people, because they were still down to do the show: Big Mike, who was like, "Even if it's just the two of us, I got your back."; Baron, who was supposed to be helping out and called me at 4:30 pm to tell me he can't make it in from New York; Sondjata, who called me around 1:30 pm to say, "Let me know what you want to do, I can pack the equipment and still make it."; Ngoma, who called me as soon as he heard about the blizzard to let me know he had my back; and Skillz, who disappeared on me the day before when I was supposed to make a videotape at her house, who left me a message saying, "Come get me, because you know how my car is in the snow." Man, if I had couple of millions dollars in my bank account I would hook them all up. Saturday, January 8, 2005 9:00 AM This entry is eight days overdue. Big Mike, his wife, Likwid, and Flow can kiss my butt. Let me paint you a picture. I told Jessica, Big Mike's niece, I would attend their New Year's Eve party. I didn't get there until after midnight, but I got there. I get a plate of food. Flow walks up to me and says, "Those chicken wings are nuclear." I'm thinking, "What is he talking about?" But that's not why he can kiss my butt. Well, I go into the TV room with the rest of the poets and bite into one of the chicken wings I got off the kitchen table. Next thing I know, I'm running to the kitchen, to the dinning room, to the kitchen, looking for water, bread, a fire hose. I kid you not.. it was like somene gave me a piece of molten lava and said, "Work it out." I found out later on that the chicken came from Cluck You Chicken and they had to sign a waiver to get it. Something about, "not responsible if it causes death" or something like that. But that is not why they can all kiss my butt. The nuclear chicken experience led me to talk about how my mother gave me so much drama about cooking the chicken for the poetry reading and this is why Flow, Big Mike, and Likwid can kiss my butt. Big Mike says to me, "Your chicken was good when I was drinking." The rest of those fools chimed in and started cracking on my chicken. Mental note, my moms was right. So now, it's 1:30 AM and I'm leaving, and this is why Big Mike's wife can kiss my butt. I'm saying my good-byes and she says, "Where were you? The party started at 7?" I said, "I was passing out flyers for the shows at the Luna Stage and I had some other stuff to do." Big Mike's wife says to me, Helena D. Lewis, "Bull@$%." I don't play when it comes to promoting for a show. So, beacuse she is also the person who brought the nuclear chicken wings, she can kiss my butt with the rest of them. Tuesday, December 28, 2004, 11:30 PM Drama, Drama, Drama (Sing Like Money, Money, Money) and this is my life. I go to work, I walk up to my office, one of my client's is on the couch in the living area crying with her head leaned back on the couch. Mental note to myself, "Self: It's 8:45 am. Do I really want to be bothered with this?" I decide to go in my office, drop my pocketbook and investigate. Before I can take off my coat, another resident knocks on my door, "Ms. Doe is having chest pains." Ms. Doe is the lady that is on the couch. I walk to the living area, I say, "Ms. Doe, are you having chest pains? Does your left arm hurt? Are your feet swollen? Are you having trouble breathing?" "Yes. Yes. No. A little." I go back to my office, I call downstairs to get back-up. "Tell the Treatment Director to come upstairs. Ms. Doe is having chest pains, call 911." Now, if you are me, and you, as in you reading this right now, were having chest pains, you would call 911 to go to hospital. But, because Ms. Doe is an inmate, the procedure for medical care is, call the Director of Correctional Services to get the okay to call 911. Actually, it is more like, call the Director of Correctional Services to get prermisoon to call the prison, to ask the prison if it is okay to call 911 and to take her to the hospital. I know crazy right!!!! Thank goodness she was okay. Medical care for inmates is horrible. Saturday, December 25, 2004, 10:30 PM Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry X-mas, Happy Kwanzaa and all that jazz. The holidays have not been the same since my brother Leroy passed away and, with my other brother Everett being gone, I try to put on a smile and keep it moving, but it's hard knowing things will never be the same. My mother used to fuss at me for running around the house with the video camera, but I'm glad I did. I have several, "It's A Very Lewis Christmases" on tape. The funny thing is, I miss the family drama. I miss everyone crowded around the kitchen table, I miss everyone fussing, complaining, and the noise of the entire family in one room. The same things I used to hate about the holidays are the things I find myself missing. Sunday, December 12, 2004, 8:58 PM So, I called Flow, and asked if there was anything I could do to help with his show on Saturday at "Cities Without Walls." He was like yeah, "Bring some chicken." He wanted the little wing-dings that come in four pound bags. I said, "Okay." He says, "You know how to cook? Don't kill us." I'm not a gourmet chef or anything like that, but on my list of "Things I know how to cook" (which is not big) are wing-dings. So, I get up, I go to Pathmark (because I'm not feeling Shop-Rite at all right now) to get the stuff I need. I call my mother, "Momma do you still have that deep-fryer? I have to cook some chicken." Why did I do that? She goes on and on for like five minutes, "You don't know how to cook any chicken, you better go to the Ponderosa." "You can get 50 wings-to-go for $13.99." "You better buy the chicken so people don't talk about you," and, "You never made chicken in your life." It was like she thought I was going to poison the entire state of New Jersey. I hang up the phone, because I'm really trying to stay away from negative people. So, I get three four pounds bags and go home to her house. But no, my mother is not done, it was like she was the overseer of all those who cooked chicken and it was her job to make me feel like shit. So, I had to break it down like she was one of the prisoners. "Mom, don't you remember when I was a student at Rutgers University, I used to cook the chicken for Kwanzaa, the Kappa Diamonds (pretty girls say, "Ah-ha") and Black Family Night, because we didn't have a big budget. I used the black deep-dish fryer that you plug into the wall and no one ever complained about the chicken, because it's all in the seasoning." The bottom line was she didn't want me to cook the chicken, because she wanted me to get the 50 wings-to-go for $13.99 at Ponderosa, because she wanted to see what they looked like, because she wanted to buy them for the Senior Citizen Christmas Party at the YWCA. Cut to chicken being brought into "Cities Without Walls." Charles from Serengeti Plains, whose wife is a caterer, was like, "This is some good chicken." At the end of the night the chicken was all gone. Oh, before I forget, if you don't have a coupon, the 50 wings-to-go at Ponderosa are 20 dollars. So, if I had went to Pondersa, I would have paid close to a hundred dollars for the amount of chicken I needed. Sunday, November 13, 2004, 5:58 PM So, last Friday, as in two days ago. I pick up Skillz and Kasim and we are off to the city. The movie I taped earlier this year, "What Goes Around," is at the New York International Film Festival. Deborah Pointer, who is also the Co-creator and Co-executive producer of Russell Simmons Def Poetry Jam, produced this movie. Steve Donaldson did a lot of the casting and he cast a bunch of poets in the movie. I'm talking Narubi, Blue Lion, Gemini, Butta,' D t he Schizophrenic, Flow Mentalz, Tammy Carr, Yolanda K. Wilkerson, Kayo, Big Mike, Krosswords, .baron, and the list goes on. Some of us had lead rolls and some of has had cameos, but I knew I was going to see that movie on Friday night no matter what. I couldn't find a parking space so I ended up paying $35.00 to park in one of those rip off garages, and then I paid $10 to get in even though I was in it, I wanted to support the film on all levels. What's up with the theater over sold the show and there were like 60 people who didn't have seats including me? So they clear the theater of all the people who were standing, but I was like I paid too much to be here and I went to the back of the theater and tried to blend in with the wall. So, to make a long story short I watched the movie sitting on the floor in my $250 pinstripe suit I wear to work, but it was worth all the drama and sitting on floor. Just to see all of us on the big screen and knowing how hard Deb and Karma worked to get the project off the ground. Sunday, November 7, 2004, 7:19 PM I am tired, tired, tired. The show at the Luna Stage was yesterday. I started working on this show in August. It started out as "Poets From HBO Invade Montclair." But, since eveyone on the ticket was not a "Def Poet," I concentrated on finding a group of poets I could work with and building the concept from there. Well, that didn't work out either. Why? I don't understand how someone can say they want to be more than an open mic or slam poet, but won't commit to the work that is necessary to evolve beyond that. So, I had to recast a couple of poets. A theater production is completely diffrent from signing your name on an open mic list and spitting a couple of poems. I'm talking rehersals, I'm talking developing a script, developing a character, tech rehersal, etc...I see why some people on the scene don't grow. They don't think BIG. Anyway, we rehearsed every Sunday for a little over a month at Skillz's house, which is another story I don't feel like going into...let's just say, "Drama, Drama." Eventually, we got everything together and then I got sick, and then the theater called me and dropped a bomb on me. We couldn't use the large theater, we had to use the smaller theater that seats 70 people. I was like, "WHAT? This is not the agreement I remember." I even considered not doing the show out of principle, but Butta' and Skillz were like, "We came this far, let's make it happen and look for other theaters to work with in the future." As far as me being sick, I had stop taking my allergy pills (becuase I ran out and I don't like taking them) which caused fluid to build up in my right ear, because my nasal passage was blocked, and the mucous from a cold I caught wasn't draining properly. I only went to the doctor the Thursday before the show, becuase Butta' decided he wanted to harass me for TWO FREAKING DAYS. He called me every hour saying, "When are you going to the doctor?" Two allergy pills later I was fine. I had to blow my nose evey fifteen minutes, but I'm not complaining. Then I get another phone call from the Luna Stage, the show is sold out and there is a waiting list for people who want to go to the show if someone returns their tickets, can I do a second show at 10 PM? I thought about saying "No," mainly because of the chaos with the switch from the larger to the smaller room, but I called all the poets and Skillz and we took a vote and evey vote was counted. We voted, "YES." Now, I'm thinking there is nothing else that can go wrong. Until I start thinking about Baron and his part in the play and realize he needs to be mic'd with a wireless unit. So, I ask Puffy if I can use his wireless mic to mic Baron who had to talk over music. Puffy says, "No." So, I end up going to Rhondo's on Route 22 the day of the show and renting two wireless body mics, the same kind TV shows use, for $40. These types of mics retail at $400 and higher. I was already over budget and couldn't afford to buy a $400 mic. I'm glad I was able to rent one for $40. I guess ALL the pre-show drama was worth it because both of the shows went well and I know if it wasn't for the help of GOD, Skillz, Butta', Baron, Adrian, D the Schizoprenic, Flow, Sarah Army, Kasim, Chris Davis, Big Mike, Joel, Jessica, Sondjata, and everyone who brought a ticket to come to one of the shows, it might not have went down that way. So, what's next on my agenda? I'm going to finish writing my second one-woman show, take care of some stuff around the house, get my application together for graduate school and spend some time with my family. Wednesday, November 3, 2004, 6:38 PM So, I'm at Skillz' apartment. I had to talk to her about the show this Saturday. Unfortunately for me, I came by while she was looking at some cartoon, which means I can only speak to her during commericials. Ain't that crazy? Just like George Bush being in office again. Anyway, I decided to update my journal until a commerical comes on. Well, let me see. I don't know where to start. I performed at the New Jersey Women and AIDS (NJWAN) Confrence on Monday in Jersey. I got a standing ovation. I thought that was really kool becuase the room was filled with social workers and health educators. I also shot a TV pilot last Saturday. The same show I was excited about and got RE-CAST from called me and asked me to come back to do the SAME character. Malcolm Jamal Warner e-mailed me and told me that's how the business is, but I already knew that. I still have a lot to learn, but I'm open to learning whatever I can. Oh, a commercial is on. Friday, September 24, 2004, 10:00 PM Today was kick a sister down day. Let's start with, I couldn't get tickets to see Patti Labelle for my mother, then I had to pay $836.00 to get my car out of the shop, my supervisor sent me a memo questioning my whereabouts for 30 minutes (Yeah me. Me who stays three and four hours every day after work without overtime), and I was RECAST, which is a nice word for saying FIRED from the TV piolt I was in. Yep, I get a call at WORK on my cell phone. I can't remember the guy's name who called, but the director, who met everyone on cast for the first time last Saturday, doesn't feel as though I look old enough to play the part. I knew this was an issue a few weeks ago, so it wasn't a shock, but it was a shock. My character is, or should I say was, a thirty-eight year old college dean. Oh, get this, he told me they were looking at the script to see if they could write me in as another character, but I've seen the scripts for the first eight episodes. My age range is mid-twenty to thirty, depending on how I'm dressed. I'm too mature looking to play a hot and horny college student and I don't look old enough to play a college professor. So, I think he was just being polite at that point. He also told me to call him if I needed them or something like that and that they would keep my info on file for the future. Then he said something that made me laugh. He said, "You are still welcome to come and hang out on set..." or something like that. Now, with my schedule being the way it is, I don't have time to hang out nowhere. Time is money, and I already turned down some gigs to work on the show. But these are the good things that came out of the experience: 1) Philly Cheese Steak Pizza from Domino's. I'm a big fan now, yum yum, yum; 2) The next time I get picked for a TV pilot I will be familiar with the stages of development, because I didn't know anything about writing a script or rehearsing for a production like this when I first started; 3) I met some really nice people. Thursday, September 23, 2004, 12:30 PM All I wanted to do was get some cheese breadsticks from Pizza Hut to treat myself after a hard day at work. I went to Pizza Hut on Main Street in West Orange to get some cheese breadsticks. Yum, yum yum, sometimes you just gotta have them. Anyway, I walked in and before I can get through the door this fool is trying to talk to me out of his car window. I look at him and keep moving... What was his pick up line? "Hey Mom, let me get to know you." I walk in, try to place my order, he gets out of his car follows me in. "So, can I get to know you?" I look at him and say, "No." His response, "Oh, so it's like that. Your beautiful, what's your name?" My response, "Thank you, do you work for the FBI?" His response, "Damn, why you being stingy. I just want to get to know you. I can't get to know you?" Now picture this, the entire time he is trying to talk to me he is licking his lips, looking a me like a three tier sex offender, can't take his eyes off of me, looking me up and down, and trying to look at my butt. IT WAS DISTURBING and he couldn't have been older then 25. Then he says, "I know you. What school did you go to?" Assuming, he's never been to college I say, "I graduated from Orange High, but what do you know about Talbot Hall, Kintock, Que, Harbor House?" He pauses and THEN he realizes he knows me from PRISON or should I say, the assesment programs and halfway homes where I use to teach HIV/AIDS workshops for male prisoners. Now, he is trying to back out of the conversation. So I say, after I place my order, "Can I speak with you outside for a minute?" I didn't want to embarrass him in front of the little boy who was with him. We go outside and I lay into his ASS. "No, female in her right mind would give you the time of day the way you approached me. You're acting like you just got out." He says, "Ms. Lewis, I've been out since November of last year and I max out next year in February. I got a girl, she works with Al Sharpton." So, I say, "Why you bothering me?" He had no response to that question so I continued, "I hope you're using condoms cause in this area chances are one of three females you try to get to know might be HIV positive." His response, "Ms. Lewis, I don't need a lecture." So, I'm like, "Yes you do, and I know you're up to no good." There is more to the story but I don't feel like typing anymore. But, this is the crap that I have to put up with on a daily basis. Ex-convicts, parolees, escaped prisoner, and sex offenders who remember me and want to follow me down the street, stop me and talk with me, try to get a date with me, blah, blah, blah.... All, I wanted to do was get some cheese bread from Pizza Hut to treat myself after a hard day at work. Sunday, September 19, 2004, 11:30 PM What a day. I got up at 7pm, started working on my hair. I just wet the front and touched up the new growth. I didn't want to look jacked up for my photo shoot. I got Kasim, got Adrian, then went to Penn Station in Newark to get Baron. Baron takes fabulous pictures on top of being a fantastic poet, by the way. I drive to Rutgers-Newark so we can meet up with Gemineye and Big Mike. Gemineye is missing in action and it is going on 11 o'clock. I called D the Schizophrenic and told him we needed another poet for the photo shot. Now I'm in a state of panic because today was the only day I could do the photo-shoot and I have a meeting at 1pm that I can't miss. To make a long story short, D the Schizophrenic arrives a little before 12 noon, but I don't know he's in the building, because I'm outside looking for him. When I go to tell the guys D is nowhere to be found, the first person I see is D the Schizophrenic looking at me. Now it's a race against time. It's 12:05 PM and we have two rolls of film to shoot. I know you're saying, "What's the big deal?" Well, taking pictures is not easy. Between posing, trying to look natural, catching the light, touching up make-up, setting up shots, a photo shoot can be pretty demanding and I have a meeting at 1 PM that I cannot miss. Kasim helps Baron and Adrien makes sure we don't look crazy. We got done at exactly 1pm. I say my good-byes and I'm off to my 1 PM meeting, which is really a rehearsal for the television pilot I'm in. Practice is over at 5 PM, but my day is not over. I have to meet a lady who is doing an article on me at 5:30 PM and meet Flow, D the Schizophrenic, Big Mike, Adrian, Jerry Gant and Skillz at Jerry's studio on Central Ave for a meeting. I check my cell phone for messages and Jerry is stuck in South Jersey. I'm like, "What ??" First Gem, now Jerry. But at least Jerry called. Now I'm on my cell phone trying to catch everyone to let them know the meeting will be at Tops. I pick up Adrian again and call Skillz. I decide the best thing to do is go to Jerry's studio and tell everyone what's going on. Everything was fine, but Skillz decided to park in a parking lot and the rest of us are down the street standing on the corner of Central and Halsey wondering where Skillz is. Eventually we all meet up and end up at Tops. Oh, what was the photo shoot for? It's for the show I'm doing at the Luna Stage on November 6, 2004. Wait, there is more. I lost my appointment book again. I get an e-mail from Ernest Chester. Ernest took my head shots and the picture of me that's on my jornal page now. I had an appointment with him today to take more pictures and I missed it, so now I'm mad at myself because I begged him for an appointment for new head shots and jacked up my opportunity. Thursday, September 16, 2004, 10:30 AM I woke up feeling like crap. So, I called out from work. I think it was that three-day old chef salad that I ate last night out of the refridgerator, but I was really hungry. I went to Disney World last week. I pushed this little girl out of my picture with Chip & Dale. Mickey and Minnie Mouse were around but, as far as I'm concerned, it's all about Chip & Dale. I'm sorry, a grown-up gotta' do what a grown-up gotta do, and I LOVED looking at Chip & Dale when I was little. I also got really excited when I saw Snow White, but that's another story. Yo, what's up with my hotel was right by this manmade lake and, when I went to get the car one day, I was followed by these giant mutant mosquitoes. I had to take the shirt off from around my waist (if you know me you know what I'm talking about) to fight them off. One of them did bite me on my left arm and the bump is huge... that's why I know they were some type of MUTANT mosquitoes, because this is not a regular mosquito bite. Now, that I think about it, I was afraid for my life. Sunday, September 5, 2004, 10:56 AM I'm getting over a cold or something. I'm sure what ever it is I have, I picked it up last Tuesday. I got called to do a small speaking role in a movie. I shot the scene outside and it was cold. The hard part is staying up late and going to work the next day. I was 15 to 20 minute late almost everyday this week, but I don't think my supervisor cares right now, because I stay 2 to 3 hours late almost everyday. I'm going to stop that effective now. Hard work is never really appreciated. Anyway, let me shout out the entertainment company that is producing the televison show I'm working on. Every practice there is food for the cast to eat. You know me, I'm a sucker for free food. Anyway, we practice every Saturday from 11 am to 3 pm. We separate into small groups to work on various scenes together. When we are done with our small groups every one comes together and we act out the scenes for the entire cast and the acting coach. We get feed back on how to make the scenes better. Last practice we were told some of us might get recast. This means some of us might get kicked out the show if they think we can't play the roles properly. Hopefully, I'm not on that list. The character I play is supposed to be thirty-eight years old. I don't look anywhere near thirty-eight years old. This issue has already come up twice since we started practicing, but the author wanted the person to look young for her age. Now, I think they are thinking I look too young. The director is flying out from LA next week. If he thinks I look too young for the part it might be the end of my television career. Wednesday, August 25, 2004, 10:30 PM So, I got a part in a television pilot. It's a lead role. I'm excited about the entire thing, but you never know with pilots. It's not guaranteed success but, now that I think about it, there is no such thing as "guaranteed success." Anyway, I'm learning a lot. Last week we did a table read. Every cast member had to be there and we sat at a big table and read our parts out loud from the script. It reminded me of when I was little and I had to take a turn reading out loud in class. There was this one guy, I don't know his real name, but he knows ALL OF HIS LINES by heart. I'm like, "Dag, we just got the script three days ago." Tuesday, August 24, 2004, 9:30 PM Road trip story. Two weeks ago Queen Sheba asked me to come to DC to do a show. Well, I hadn't jumped in the Volkswagen an hit the road in the name of poetry for a while. So, the day before the trip my car decides it doesn't feel like working. I called Skillz and told her we have to take her car. No problem. Well, I thought our problems were behind us until I realized we were drving into a HURRICANE. Normal people would have just stayed home, but not Skillz and I. I was like, "Well, maybe by the time we DRIVE there the HURRICANE wont be so bad." I know, crazy. In fact, I didn't realize how crazy it sounded until I just typed it, but that's what I said. Did we go? Yeah, we drove through the HURRICANE to get to the show so I could perform for 15 people. I'm pretty sure the audience decided not to come out because of the HURRICANE. Anyway, shout-outs to Queen Sheba, Original Women, Manafest Ra, and the rest of the people who braved the weather to come out. Monday, August 2, 2004, 8:30 PM So, I'm at Serengeti Plains last Friday. I made the mistake of standing next to Flow Mentalz. Next thing I know, he decides he wants to push me. To make a long story short, he knocks me off balance, I trip over a box or something, and end up under five giant rolls of wrapping paper. Charles, the owner, is looking at me, I'm looking at Flow and Felicia, the shop manager, is looking at all of us like we are crazy. Do I think he meant to knock me down on the floor? No, but I'm gonna get him. I just don't know when. He is still my dog, but I'm gonna get him. Thursday, July 28, 2004, 6:37 PM I'm at work, but I'm not really doing any work. Mainly because, I don't know where to start. I've never seen anything like this.. and this is coming from a person who ran a drop in center for prostitutes for six years. Grown women, 36, 46, 50 years old who are reading on second and third grade levels. Grown women who have problems doing math problems like, 333 + 495. These women need so much help. It's overwhelming and I'm supposed to get them prepared to take the GED exam, and help them find employment. Not to mention, every day since I've been here, there seem to be some new crisis in the building. On another note, I met Omar Tyree last Saturday at the,Harlem Book Fair Invitation Poetry Reading at the Nuyorican. He hosted the show. He seems soft spoken, quiet. I didn't know he was a "famous" writer until the show was almost over. But I was really excited to see Amanda Diva,. I haven't seen her in a long time. I've only managed to catch her hosting on MTV once, but it's good to see another poet doing well. Wednesday, July 14, 2004, 11:30 PM Talk about major change. Now, I'm working with women prisoners. The CDC/HRSA Demonstration Grant I was working on ended on June 30th. So, I got transfered to a 50 bed DOC site for women. Right now I'm doing the vocational training and GED classes, but I've already been told they want me to work with the women there who are HIV positve. Working there reminds me of the work I used to do with prostitutes, except none of them are asking me for a food package. Today, staff did a case review on some of the women. I tell you, it was depressing. Four hours of, "Client stated she was raped repeatedly by uncle, between the ages of six and nine." "Client tried to comit suicide by stabbing herself in neck repeatedly with a knife." "Client has six children who are with DYFUS." "Client does not know how to read or write." "Client was set on fire by her sister when she was ten." Sunday, July 11, 2004, 10:00 AM You know, I was just thinking about something else that happened at Serengeti Plains on Friday. I decided I wanted to get a bottle of water since I was slamming. So, I asked Rob Hylton to go across the street with me to Dunkin' Donuts. On the way, I picked up water orders for Big Mike, Liqwid and some other poets. So, I asked the dude behind the counter if I could get a discount for buying six bottles of water and he was like, "Are you trying to hustle me?" And I said, "No, I just want to know if I can get a discount for buying six bottles of water." Rob Hylton chimes in and says, "Helena!," as if I was doing something wrong. If you don't ask you will never know. Just like when people ask me dumb stuff like, "Can you fly to California to perform at a show I 'm doing. I can't pay you and I can't pay for your transportation, but you can sleep on my couch." Now for those who want to know... YES, I got a discount on the water. Saturday, July 10, 2004, 1:00 AM Well, I just got back from Serengeti Plains in Montclair. The Central Jersey Slam Team and the Northern Jersey Slam Team had a slam/fund raiser. I went there to try to work out a new poem on the open mic, but when I got there Flow was like, "We short. Can you slam?" At first I was thinking, " No," but I said, " Yes." When I came back from the Nationals in 2000 I swore I would never slam again unless it was for LARGE SUMS OF MONEY. Why? Too much drama. Too much drama before the Nationals, too much drama while I was there, too much drama after I left. Anyway, the Nuyorican team placed third that year. That is the team I was on, which is why, to this day, alot of people think I'm from New York. But, I'm so New Jersey. Now, before I forget, shout-outs to my girl Renea Moss and Ingrid from Florida. Ingrid was in New York for a few days last week, so I got to hang with her, and I gotta shout-out Renea, 'cause that's my girl. We survived a flash flood back in 2000 and, when I say flood, I'm talking, we are in her car trying to get back to her condo and entire housing complexes are underground and waves of water are going over the car. Monday, June 28, 2004, 9:00 AM Well, my play was last Saturday. Let's start with when I got to the theater, Skillz told me it was on fire. The amp caught on fire and they had fans to blow the smoke out. Okay, not a good sign, but the show must go on. Next problem, the board I use to list my recovery steps broke. So, I went to Staples the day before and purchased another one for $90.00. When Adrian took the new one out the box, Skillz realized it was broken as well ... in the same exact place! So, we sent Shana to Staples to replace it and we are running out of time, the doors open ant 6:30 PM, it's like 4:00 PM the stage is not set up, and we haven't even done a cue-to-cue or a run-through. Shana comes back with another "new" board and we finish setting up the stage. Somewhere between 4:30 PM and 5:00 PM the stage is set up and I'm running lines. I get to the scene about my ex-boyfriends and I look down and realize I have a GIANT hole in my jeans. Next thing I know, Shana and I are inside the bathroom trading jeans and I'm back on-stage. I look at my watch and I'm like , "It's 5:30 pm. Where the HELL is the SOUND GUY?!?!" Dude didn't show up until 6:10 PM. So, we didn't do a cue-to- cue, we didn't have a proper sound check, and the lights were not programmed for the show. At 6:15 PM I went downstairs and tried to calm down because, at this point, the doors were opening in 15 minutes. Skillz said it was the best performance I've ever done. If you didn't know all the chaos that took place prior to the show starting ... you just wouldn't have known . So the good news is, despite some minor technical difficulties, the show went FINE. We got good feedback from everyone we spoke to after the show and the show was SOLD OUT, as in over 120 people and the theater seats 120. Shout-outs to the poets that came, Jersey Peach, Baron, Nile and Jamaal St. John. Shout-outs to my PAs, Chris Davis, Shana Gillis, Adrian Price, and Kasim. Special shout out to my girl Lisa Durden for packing her car and bringing people to check out the play and to my director Skillz. Oh, and how could I forget Sondjata, who came to video-tape the play for me. Good looking out man!!!! Tuesday, June 22, 2004, 10:00 AM Well, I just got back from New York. I had to meet Gwen, my publicist, in front of 98.7 Kiss FM at 7:30 AM. She hooked it up for me to promote my play, at the Luna Stage, on air. I like going to KISS FM. Talent and the rest of the Wake-Up Club people are mad kool. Talent was like, "I didn't know you had a play!" Everyone remembered me from the live show at Caroline's and the last time I was there promoting for "Snippets: Which Way to Broadway?" Anyway, I left the station and was able to get to work on TIME. Before I left, we (as in Gwen and I) were standing in the hallway talking to a person who works there. We were telling him what happended the last time we were there when that fight broke out between Jahiem and that comedian (who no longer works there), and Joe Buttons walks bye and says, "Hi." I kid you not, he is shorter than Skillz. and she is like five feet tall and, even though I weigh 125 lbs, I'm sure I could pick him up if I wanted to. Like off the ground, not like in going on a date. Monday, June 21, 2004, 11:30 PM What a weekend. I got to perform on stage along with Wyclef Jean, Doug E. Fresh, Slick Rick, Nice and Smooth, and MC Lyte. How did this happen? RBG Entertainment sent me an e-mail about the National Hip-Hop Political Convention, I met with them worked out some things, and I was on the ticket along with my boy, Flow Mentalz, Rob Hylton and the best DJ in the world Doughboy. The only obstacle was that the concert was on the same day as my company's annual picnic. For those who read my journal, you know that last year I ended up in a hospital after a bad potato-sack race incident . So, I went to the picnic, but refused to participate, with the exception of eating and sleeping. Anyway, I picked up Skillz and we went down to Military Park. I had a BALL. I'm talking FUN, FUN, FUN, FUN , FUN. After I got off stage, someone from security walked up to me and said, "Sharon is by the gate looking for you." I was like Sharon, I don't know anyone name Sharon. The lady from security looked at me like I was crazy and then she looked at Skillz and said, "She looks just like you." So, Skillz and I said "Shana." Shana, is Skillz' sister. So, to make a long story short we got her backstage. I won't say how on grounds that it might incriminate me or Skillz. Anyway, while I'm waiting for Skillz to come back with Shana, someone tapped me on the shoulder. It was Kasim. I was like how did you get back here. He told me he went to security and told them his name was on the list, which it was, but since he didn't come with me, technically speaking, he shouldn't have been able to get in. When security couldn't find his name he told them he was looking for the poet with the dreads and he said, "Is she with the girl in the orange?" So, if it wasn't for Skillz wearing a low cut sundress he wouldn't have gotten backstage. So, the following day I got up at 6 AM picked up Skillz and we drove to New York to audition for Robert Townsend. He is the head of a new cable network. I didn't know he was going to be there, but there he was in the flesh. He is a really nice guy and once again I DID NOT HAVE MY CAMERA. Friday, June 11, 2004, 8:30 AM I refuse to be bothered with people who I think are full of S@#$. Does that make me a bad person? Friday, May 21, 2004, 11:30 PM I need to make a sign or something that I hold up whenever someone askes me for my opinion. I've concluded that nine times out of ten people don't want to hear the truth according to Helena D. Lewis. For example, the first time I saw Likwid Thoughts slam he asked me to give him some tips on slamming. So, I said, "I really didn't pay attention to you, I couldn't get over the fact you have one eyebrow." Well, to make a long story short. Every time I see Likwid Thoughts he has to bring it up, but guess what? He now has two eyebrows and he has had two eyebrows for a few months now. I know this because I saw him last Wednesday at a show we did together in NYC. What did he do when he saw me? I'm glad you asked. He told me he was keeping his eyebrows groom, but the first time he cut them he almost accidentally cut them off or something like that and that it was all my faught... and then he had the nerve to ask me why wasn't his name mentioned on my website in my journal page. Well Likwid, who said dreams can't come true??? Sunday, May 16, 2004, 11:20 AM LONG TIME NO TYPE HAD TO TAKE A POETRY BREAK!!!!! My father is doing good, the rest of my family is still crazy, I met a cousin I didn't know I had, my nephew Michael wanted to start a chicken farm in my parent's backyard, he also got an ax stuck in a tree in the backyard (but that's a long story), I'm doing my play at the Luna Stage in Montclair, NJ next month, the prisoners are still crazy, found out they are mixing sex offenders who violated parole with the prisoners where I teach class at (ONE OF THEM GOT SENT BACK TO THE MAIN PRISON, BECAUSE HE WROTE A POEM ABOUT HOW HE WANTED TO HAVE "RELATIONS" WITH A FEMALE STAFF MEMBER), did a show for Chad Anderson at Brookdale College, decided to write a book (mental note: it's not a poetry book), kept Skillz shoes hostage until she did my application for car insurance, found out Pinky moved to Texas, working on putting together poetry shows for a theater in New Jersey, did a fashion show at ECC, Uche' helped me do the make-up for the show, started playing tennis, and HBO will start airing Def Poetry IV on Sunday, July 18, 2004. Sunday, April 18, 2004, 10:15 AM Prostrate and colon cancer. My father was diagnosed with both. I'm on my way to see him now he's in the hospital. Why, did I decide to type the above. Well, last December we made him go to the doctor. It happened to be one of three times he has ever gone to the doctor since I've been born. While he was there my mother, a LPN for 30 years plus, wanted him to get checked out for everything. And that is when we found out he had colon cancer and in January we found out he had prostate cancer. Both early stages. So, I'm begging everyone who is reading this... if you have a father, an uncle, a brother over the age of 50 make him go and get a prostrate and colon cancer screening. My father is seventy-six years old... We could have nipped both cancers in the bud a long time ago if he had gone to the doctor for regular check-ups. I've learned most men of color don't go to the doctor until it is too late for treatment. My father is scheduled for surgery on Monday to remove the colon cancer and he is receiving radiation treatment for the prostate cancer. Wednesday, April 7, 2004, 11:30 PM So, one of my client's accidentally got his penis stuck in a chair when he was taking a shower. It was one of those chairs you use when you can't stand up to take a shower. I haven't been able to look at him with a straight face since I found out. Anyway, shout outs to the students at the University of Florida. I did a show down there with Kayo and Daniel Beaty. Danny Simmons hooked it up for us. I spent the entire time trying to figure out where the nearest Waffle House was. We ended up eating at Denny's, because the Waffle House was "too far" to go. However, the hotel was across the street from a Waffle House. I know what's up with that. I think I was caught in the middle of a Waffle House conspiracy. I'm still upset:( I love the Waffle House. I don't know if it's the trailer trash ambiance or if they are putting crack in the Waffles, but I love the Waffle House. Anyway, we got back to the hotel at 11:30 PM. So, I decided to stay up, because we had to leave at 3:30 AM to get to the airport. I wasn't taking any chances, because I had a show to do at Princeton University the next day. I rushed the guys out the room and when we got to the airport the airport was closed. I know what's up with that. It was one of those regional airports that has two airplanes. Our airplane was so small it looked like someone took a mosquito and put an engine on it and some propellers. Well, like I said before I decided to stay up. Kayo tried to go to sleep, but I made him stay up with me and since we were talking I'm sure Daniel didn't get much sleep. Oh, before I forget Daniel and Kayo snore. Kayo did manage to go to sleep from 3 AM to 3:04 AM. Oh, and before I forget shout out to Theri and the rest of the students who came to my show at Princeton. I had a ball. Friday, March 12, 2004, 8:00 PM Well, this is a problem I never thought I would have. I'm patiently waiting for my check from Def Poetry IV. I didn't give it too much thought, because I know it's coming I just don't know when. Well, to make a long story short I get a letter from AFTRA (American Federation of Television and Radio Artists), which happens to be a union for actors. Seems like because I've worked under their jurisdiction twice I now owe them $1, 300 for an initiation fee, $50 for an assessment fee, and yearly dues to be paid in two installments of $121.80. Oh, and before I forget they got my check and they are "holding" it until I make "arrangements" to join the union. At first I thought, "Is this letter from the MOB, but I do remember signing something about if you work here again you have to join this union type papers." So, I called Flow Mentalz and Yolanda K. Wilkerson and they didn't get their checks. So, I told them "I know who got your check." So, to make a really long story short Yolanda started breaking down the pros and cons of being in a union, and that this is how things work, it's legal, and that it is a good thing..." But, I couldn't get pass the $1,300 to see brighter days. Anyway, I go down with Puffy to get my money by any means necessary, if you know what I mean. When we got to their New York office I spoke with a field representative who broke everything down for me. She also explained to me that this was new to them, because they have never had to deal with poets before until Russell Simmons started doing Def Poetry on HBO. So, I had to pay them $200 towards my initiation fee and they froze my membership which will allow me to continue to get my hustle on until I get another union job. Now once I get my initiation fee paid and my dues paid and I'm a member in good standing for a year I can join SAG. What does this mean? Sometimes you got to pay to get ahead. It also means to be cast for certain TV shows, commercials, and films you have to belong to acting unions. These unions protect the rights of actors and actress due to the abuse they endured back in the day. So, when a non-union person gets a job on a union production they give them some slack and that person can join "temporary" which is what I had to do the first time I taped for Def Poetry. Now if that person works over a certain amount of days then they have to join the union that falls under the jurisdiction of the film, commercial, movie, variety show etc, etc, etc they were working under. Once that person is a member of a certain union he or she can audition for certain union acting jobs. All the celebrities you see on TV belong to some type of acting union. Now, I don't like how everything went down, but at least I learned something new. Saturday, March 6, 2004, 11:00 AM MAD SHOUT OUTS to my friends at Kenyon College in Ohio. I flew out there Thursday to do a show/lecture. Puffy drove me to the airport because my flight was out of LaGuardia. We get to the airport and he's like, "Get out! I got things to do!" I felt so loved. Anyway, when I get to Ohio Ms. Barbara was waiting there to pick me up. She is a driver for the school. We talked about everything under the sun, from President Bush to crack. I would have never thought I would have so much in common with a mature, caucasian woman, born and raised on a farm in Ohio, but we clicked like two old friends who haven't seen each other since college. Ms. Barbara's parents used to be turkey farmers and they also had a dairy farm. Ms. Barbara was also nice enough to take me to Wendy's to get something to eat on our hour and a half drive from the airport to the college. I told her I had low blood pressure and she was like, "Say, no more." Wendy's was interesting. I was the only BLACK person in the restaurant and, when I gave it some thought...I was the only BLACK person on the airplane there and I had not seen another BLACK person since I left New York. Anyway, all eyeballs were on me. I don't know if if was the hair, the clothes, or the fact that Ms. Barbara and I were together... but all eyeballs were on me. It reminded me of a trip I took when I was in high school. It was with some program called "Close-Up" and students from all over the USA spent a few days in Washington, DC to learn about the government and congress.... anyway, I had to room with students from another school who told me they had only seen black people on TV. Okay, back to my Ohio adventure. Ms. Barbara took me to the Gambier House, a bed and breakfest joint on the edge of campus. The front door was open and no one was in the house. I'm thinking, a drug addict's wet dream... anyway, after a few phone calls, Chris, one of the campus Deans, came to my rescue and Elizabeth, the student who brought me to campus, came to the house. Elizabeth took me on a tour of the campus where I learned the campus is supposed to be haunted. She was like, "Don't be afraid" and I was like, "Those ghost ain't gonna' mess with me, I'm from Newark." Anyway, the show went well and afterwards I hung out with some of the art majors who showed me their senior exhbits, which I thought was mad kool. Afterwards, Camille took me to the Cove and I got some "chips," AKA potato french fries, and some "pop," AKA soda. Get this, the art students laughed at me for saying "soda." It's okay because I laughed at them for saying, "pop." Oh, and before I forget.... GOOD NEWS, seems like my daddy is going to be okay. The colon cancer he has did not spread and the doctors feel they will be able to remove the cancer from his body without a problem. So, keep your fingers crossed and keep my family in your prayers. Friday, February, 27, 2004, 11:30 PM I don't know what to do. For the first time in a long time, I'm just tired. My sister, Sandra, called me today and told me our daddy has cancer. I was listening to her, but I wasn't listening to her. I just keep thinking WHAT ELSE? My family has been through sooooooooo much in the last couple of months and I'm finding it hard to hold my head up. My daddy has to take some more exams and meet with a surgeon. I'm just hope they found it early enought for him to be okay, becuase we had to make him go to the doctor... you know how some men are... they never wanna' go to the doctor. I'm just glad we made him go and that they caught the cancer early enought for a positive outcome. Wednesday, February, 25, 2004, 11 PM Finally, some good news to report. I got my CADC. So, I am an official Certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor. I took all the classes and passed the written exam in 1997. I even helped people study for their written exams. I even had a study group where I use to give out homework and correct assignments for people who were preparing to take the exam. I just never wrote my case. So, I made it my New Year's Resolution last year to get off my butt and make it happen. I was starting to think I did not pass. I perform in front of thousands of people with out a problem. However, when I went to take my oral exam... there was one lady with a tape recorder and I was nervous. Friday, February 12, 2004, 8 AM Still no word about my CADC. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Anyway, I taped for the fourth season of Def Poetry Jam at the Supper Club. Can you say, "Fun, Fun, Fun, Fun Fun!" ButtaFlySoul, Mayda Del Valle, Will Da Real One, and I taped on the same night. I wished I was there the day KRS-One and MC Lite taped... I would have loved to have met them in person (in a non-crazy, non-groupie, non-stalker like way). Dead Prez was the celebrity guest when we taped. I didn't know who they were. They looked like two young kids staying up past there bedtime. For some strange reason I thought they were older. Oh well, maybe they are and just look mad young. Anyway, when you tape for the show you have a hotel room in the attached building. ButtaFlySoul, Vanessa, and my room were right next to each other. After I taped, the after party was definitely in my room. I'm talking 15 plus people. I had to kick everyone out around 1 AM , they were sucking up all the oxygen in the room and I had a cold and I was hungry. I put on my hat, I put on my coat, I opened the door and someone said, "Where are you going HDL?" So, I said, "I'm going to get something to eat, but the question is where are y'all going cause y'all got to go." Yeah, I get a little violent when I get hungry. I have low blood pressure which means I have to eat when I get hungry or I might end up on the floor passed out. So, Mayda Del Valle, Steve, Steph, Skillz, ButtaFlySoul, Baron and some other poets went to McDonalds. So, now it's like 2:30 AM and my cell phone rings. It's a North Carolina number. It's Weusi looking for me. He is in the bar at the hotel with a bunch of other poets and they wanna' know where I'm at. So, I ended up going to where he was at for a hot minute and then I went to bed because, just like last year, I had to go to work the next day. The car service picked me up at 9 AM and drove me back to Jersey and I went on to work like nothing had happened. Just call me Secret Agent Poet 0071. Martin Luther King's Birthday, Monday, January 19, 2004 10 AM I hate flying out of New York, becuase Newark airport is like 20 minutes from my house. So, since my flight out of JFK was at 7 AM, Skillz picked me up at my house at 4 AM. She complained, but she drove me. I think I'm wearing out my free rides to the airports. Some people I can't even call. Anyway, I had to do a show in Canada. I had a great time. Everything was cool until it was time to go home. The plan was: drive from the hotel in Toronto to Buffalo, New York and fly from Buffalo airport to JFK. We left at 6 AM on Sunday. Why so early? Just in case we, as in MAD, Keith Boggie, Arutura and me, had a problem crossing the border to get back to the USA. We get to the border, we get the standard questions: "How long where you in Canada? Did you buy any drugs, alcohol? Blah, blah, blah," and then dude says, "What were you doing in Canada?" So, MAD says, "We were here for a Martin Luther King Celebration." The bald-headed, Caucasian gentleman, from customs, who happens to be a USA citizens says, "Martin Luther King?" So, MAD says, "You don't know who Martin Luther King is?" And the bald-headed, Caucasian gentleman, from customs, who happens to be a USA citizen, starts to stutter and says, "Yeah, I know who he is, but what did he ever do for Canada?" AND THEN WE, as in all the poets plus the two Canadians who booked us for the gig, lean forward to look at him like he was crazy... and then MAD says, in his very deep African-American man voice, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT DID HE EVER DO FOR CANADA?" To make a long story short, we missed our flight, the truck got searched, we were detained for an hour, and our passports were seized. Eventually, they let us go after numerous questions were asked of us. The moral of this story... we still have a long way to go. Too bad a lot of folks who were born after King was shot and killed don't appreciate the sacrafices that were made for us to be able to vote, go to school, learn how to read, sit in the front of the bus, and walk down the street in peace. We take so much for granted and things are still jacked up. Saturday, January 10, 2004 11:30 AM Yo, it is so cold. I don't want to go back outside. I had to get up to mail some promo kits and I felt like the wind was cutting my flesh. To make matters worse I'm getting over the flu at least I think it was the flu. I was jacked up with a capital "J." I lost my voice for three days, coughed up all types of nasty green globs and I lost like three pounds... I didn't mind loosing the weight, it was all the other stuff that went along with loosing the weight. Anyway, if I ever blow up you won't see me MTV cribs showing of my million dollar home. You will see me showing off all the homes I built for the homeless. Wednesday, December 24, 2003 10:30 AM So, I hear from some "Big Dogs" that HBO is taping another season of Def Poetry and when I say, "Big Dogs" I mean people who are actually involved and their names appear on the credits after each show. I find out the names of two companies that are collecting and reviewing tapes, becuase I received an e-mail from one of them with information about where to send the tapes. So, I sent to my e-mail list ONE LONG e-mail that contained the information and additional advice from me about what to send, how to send it, and what to do if you are picked for the show. Why did I do this? Because, every time I go some where someone asks me, "How can I get on HBO?" My usually response, "I don't know if they are taping another season, but if I find out I will let you know." Well, if you know me a promise is a promise. I find out information, I pass it on to the people on my e-mail list. So, What did I get for keeping my promise to the hundreds of people who asked me the same question this year? I'm glad you asked. I got nothing. I did get a lovely e-mail from someone who told me I was being shady and that the advice I gave was garbage. Which is okay, because everyone is entitled to their opinion, but shortly after that e-mail I received another e-mail from the head of one of the entertainment companies who happens to be collecting the tapes for review thanking me and to give him a call on his cell phone. I did. After a twenty minute conversation we concluded that there was more HATE than LOVE on the poetry scene. Friday, December 19, 2003 2:17 PM I'm doing okay today. Things could be better, but I'm not complaning about anything. My mother is doing well considering everything that has happen. I'm just taking every thing one day at a time. I just helped an out patient drug program write a grant. I actually didn't do too much on it, but if you wrote a grant before you know how hectic the process can be... anyway, if that program gets the grant I will be working there part-time two hours a week running HIV/AIDS Education Groups and doing some discharge planning for their HIV positive clients. The program actually wants me to work more than two hours a week. So, I'm considering leaving my full-time job and just working part time so I can spend more time performing and traveling. I don't know. I like the security of having benifits you know major medical, vision, dental... stuff like that. Shout outs to Nile Goddess, Puffy, Stephanie, Skillz, TC, Shana, Demond, Kasim, Butta, Baron, Weusi, Urbi from Afro-Cuts, Deshawn from Ramapo, and my cousin Lawanza for checking on my family. Friday, December 12, 2003 11 PM Oh, What a difference a day makes. I don't even know where to start. I'll try to make this one short, but it's gonna' be long. Tuesday, December 2, 3003, the phone rings at 6:58 AM. It's Beth Israel Hospital. I can hear my father saying, "He's not doing good I'm on my way." He wakes momma up they leave the house. I already know what is going on. My brother brother Everett is dead. When my brother Leroy passed away the hospital did the same thing. I stayed home to get the phone calls I knew were going to come. The coroner, the hospital, the coroner again, the hospital two more times, the medical examiner officer. I called my job. I tell my supervisor what is going on and that I will be late for work. My parents come home. Everett had an asthma attack. He is the third child my parents will have to bury. Parents should not have to bury their children. I go to work, because there is nothing I can do at home. I call Kasim, Puffy, Skillz, and Butta. Everyone is concern. I tell them I'm okay, because I don't have time to cry. In fact I don't have any time to cry. I will do my crying Sunday morning. I have an industry show to do on Thursday, a show at Ramapo on Friday, and the wake and funeral on Saturday, not to mention another show for Arcose Entertainment on Saturday night. So, I will do my crying on Sunday, before my three o'clock meeting in the city. I leave work early to check on my mother. The New Jersey Tissue Organ Transplant Association keeps calling the house. They want to know if they can harvest my brothers organs. They call three times. They never say, "Sorry about your lost." Just, "Can we...." Thursday, December 4, 2003, I tell no one at the industry show about my brother. I want every one to do well. This could be our big break. I am the host. December 5, 2003, Ramapo College calls my cell phone. They want to know if I'm still coming, because of the blizzard. I say, "Yes." I have to go. I need the money to help pay for the funeral which is costing a little over $5,000. Why didn't Everett have life insurance and why didn't we put insurance on him!? Another lesson learned the hard way. I drive to Newark Penn Station. Pick up Regie Cabico and Kasim. Regie is performing with me and Kasim is stuck at Penn Station because of the snow. I drop off Kasim and drive to Ramapo with Regie. The snow was so bad and the roads were not cleared. I could only do 20 miles per hour. We almost crashed liked five times, but we got there. I perform for one hour. Did not miss a beat, if you didn't know you would have never know I had to bury my brother in the morning. The show must go on and I needed that money. In my mind I dedicate show to my brother Everett. I drive Regie Cabico back to New York it had stopped snowing, so I was able to do 40 miles per hour. By the time I get home it is 4:15 AM. I wake up at 7 AM. Skillz calls me. It is snowing again. She is stuck by her job. She never made it home. I told her to stay there. I will pick her up on Sunday in the truck if she can't get home in her car. I tell my mother Skillz can't make it to the funeral. Then other people start to call the house. The roads are too bad. They can't make it to the funeral. I understand, but we are not canceling the funeral or the wake. Puffy and Step pulls up to the funeral home before we take my brother to the cementary. I say, "Follow me." It is still snowing. A five minute ride takes an hour becuase of the snow. I slip and fall at the cementary. I am covered in snow from head to toe. My nephew, Mike, laughs at me. The funeral is over with. Kasim helps my daddy and me shovel snow. I check my e-mail. A student at Ramapo is offended by my "Bad Breath Poem." I wish I was in college again. I thought I had problems when I was in college, but I really had no problems. I go back to work on Tuesday, December 9th. It's my birthday. So, I get a couple of these, "Sorry to hear about your brother. Oh, by the way happy birthday." After lunch my supervisor calls me into his office. He wants to talk to me about all the days I've been out of work and me not running group at the jail. He is dead serious. I look at him and said, "My brother died on Tuesday." He says, "That is unfortunate, but you wanted to take Thursday off from work anyway and what about your groups at the jail." HE IS AN ASSHOLE and I don't feel like being bothered with his stupidity. I tell him, "I'll go today." I walk to my office. I close the door. I cry for my brother, my family, my mother, and then I update my resume. Tuesday, November 25, 2003 9 am Why, are holidays always traumatic for me. In my life time I can't recall my mother every saying, "I love you..." Although, I know she does. However, I can recall her telling me at least five times in my life time that I was going to HELL. Who wants to wake up to that type of bullshit at 7am on a Monday morning, but that is how I woke up yesterday... to my mother telling me,"You are going to hell." Now, I could see if I was on drugs, maybe murdered four or five people, killed a couple of puppies.... you know things that require actually going to HELL. Friday, October 31, 2003 1 pm Well, I'm on my way back to bed. Why? Let's start with my home phone starts ringing off the hook at 12:30 AM. Next thing I know Steve "Puffy" Donaldson is like, "Meet me at my house at 4 AM Talent wants you to perform on the morning show at Caroline's Comedy Club." I'm like what? So, to make a long story short it's 5 AM and I'm driving to the city with Steve to do 98.7 KISS FM live morning show taping from Caroline's. There was no way I could do this and not call out sick to work. So, I called in told my job I had to take a personal day and prayed no one from my job heard me on the air. That would have been almost as bad as the time I called out sick from work and got busted. I was using my best "I'm Sick Voice" and all of a sudden I hear in the back ground "Flight 1211 for blah, blah, blah is now boarding." Well, I heard it and my secretary heard it and all she could say was, "You're not sick, you're on you way to do some poetry show." How, could I be mad... It was the truth... So, I was like... "Oh, that's the T.V." However, since that incident I have never made the mistake of calling out sick from the airport again. Thursday, October 23, 2003 9:00 am Well, despite everything that happened last month my family is doing well. When everything jumped off last month Butta' called to check on me. I think he was surprised that I was very calm about my family drama. The truth is I've been through so much nothing phases me. Actually, that is wrong. Stuff bothers me all the time. I just get pad, a pen, and turn my drama into poems. Thursday, September 15, 2003 11:30 pm Well, welcome to another day in the life of Helena D. Lewis. Where should I start? Let's start with: My mom's car was stolen on Tuesday. She goes to the dentist, she comes out, NO TRUCK. She goes back inside the dentist's office, they call the police, they come, fill out a stolen car report, and drive her home. This all occurred around 1 pm. Later on that evening, at 8 pm, my mother gets a call from another police officer who tells her, "We found your car, it was involved in a major crime, and it is police evidence, call this number in the morning." Well, my mother calls the number hoping the car is still drivable and that she might be able to get it back. When she calls the number, the police officer on the phone asks my mother if she was sitting down. He proceeds to tell my mother that her truck, which was stolen in East Orange, NJ, was used in a robbery, involved in a shoot-out, set on fire, and found in Newark, NJ. Well, she hangs up the phone and I use it to call my job to tell them, "I'm not coming to work I have to help my mother." I then proceed to call Skillz, who happens to be a big dog at NJM Auto Insurance Group. She tells me what to do about my mother and to call her if my mother's car insurance folks give her a hard time, and then she growls and hangs up the phone, which is best friend talk for, "I got your back and your mom's back." After that, I take my mother to her car insurance place, and then we go to Irvington, NJ to find the detective who was assigned to work the case. After going to two different offices, someone realizes we are the owners of the "green Cherokee" and they were like, "Y'all need to come with us." To make a long story short... the detective assigned to the case was very cute and could not give us any information about the car until he checked it for fingerprints... blah, blah, blah.... Well, my poor mother is like, "I can't believe this. Yesterday I had a truck, today I have nothing." While we were at the police station in Irvington, Skillz called my cell phone to check on me, my supervisor calls to check on me, and the detective told me he would call me after he took a look at the car and checked it for evidence. Well, after I got home, the detective called me and told me my mother's truck was completely destroyed and we could come pick up what was left of it. At some point during the course of all of this craziness, I called my sister Sandra to tell her what was going on and she said, "I saw the truck on the news last night." Anyway, my mother and father went to see the car today and, when I called from work to check on my momma, she was like, "My truck looks like one of those cars that's been bombed in Iraq...the only thing left of the car is a towel I had in the back seat and the spare tire." To make matters worse, my mother paid over $30,000 for the truck when she bought it brand new in 1994 and, after all of these years and four trips to Florida, it only had 40,000 miles on it!!! So what I'm trying to say is, it was basically a brand new truck... and thus ends another day in the life of Helena D. Lewis, Poet. Thursday, September 18, 2003 10:30 pm Finally, after two weeks of HELL... I was able to get the piece of popcorn stuck between my gum line and my upper right wisdom tooth. With that FYI out of the way let me tell you how I ended up at Robert Wood Johnson Hospital last Friday. Every year my company has a picnic. Michelle, my data entry clerk/pain in the butt/get off my desk/secretary/three-leg potato-sack race partner, entered us in the potato sack competition so we could defend our title. We won last year and wanted to win again this year. You see, the key to winning any three-legged competition is to run... not hop... as a single unit... anyway, we get to running... next thing I know... we're going down... Michelle hits the ground first and I land on top of Michelle. Next thing I know... She can't get up, my lip is busted, my nose is jacked up, and we are on our way to the hospital, because her arm is broken.. Well, Demond, aka "The Boy," comes with us to the hospital... because he is driving the company car... and he drove us to the picnic... and to make matters worse... Yuty is getting married at 6pm and it is 2pm... and the wedding is in New York... but wait there is more... Guess who is supposed to be doing a poem at the wedding and picking up Skillz' mother to take her to the wedding at 4pm? That person would be ME. The one,the only, "Let's Defend Our Potato-Sack Title, End Up In The Hospital, Miss Yuty's Wedding, Barely Make It To The Reception, Always Doing Something That Seems Like A Good Idea and Having It Come Back To Slap Me In The Face, Like The Time I Was On That TV Show Blind Date," Helena D. Lewis. Well, to make a long story short... Michelle is still out on workmen's comp. Her arm was not broken, but the doctor said she was extremely lucky she did not dislocate it. She has to go to physical therapy now... I didn't perform at Yuty's wedding... my lip is better, but it looks like someone popped me in the mouth ... "The Boy" keeps telling people the nurse at the hospital was "hating" because she kicked "The Boy" out of the room and wouldn't let him help take off Michelle's clothes... and my nose finally stopped hurting yesterday. Sunday, September 7, 2003 11:30 am Since my last update a few folks have e-mailed me and asked me if I was in the studio when Jahiem had the fight on Hot 97.1 FM.. Unfortunately for the me the answer is, "YES." Like I said before... Hot 97.1 FM, 98.7 Kiss FM, and CD 101.9 FM are own by the same company. So when I was 30 seconds from GOING LIVE on air at KISS the fight broke out across the hall at Hot 97.1 FM. I wouldn't even call if a fight. More like a version of "Bad-est Man Hit My Hand." But instead of hitting it was "Bad-est Man Make The Most Noise And Hold Me Back Cause I'm A Tough Guy." So, I didn't see anyone swing at anyone... I just heard a lot of profanity and saw a group of guys holding Jahiem's arms. Now this is the part that made me mad. There was a little girl in the studio... maybe five or six years old. Correct me if I'm wrong but don't children LEARN FROM WATCHING ADULTS. Okay on to more important stuff. Shout outs to eveyone who came to Women of Words at the Nuyorican last night. I always have a great time doing Women of Words. Tuesday, August 26, 2003 5:14 pm Here's a little FYI.  I was on 98.7 FM KISS Wake Up Club this morning with Jeff Fox.   Now that's not the FYI.  The FYI is 98.7 KISS FM,  Hot 97.1 FM, and CD 101.9 FM are all own by the same company.  So when you go into the radio station you can actually walk from both to both and be on any three of those radio stations.   I kinda figured 98.7 and 97.1 were own by the same company, because they kinda play the same music, but CD 101.9 FM now that messed me up. Friday, August 15, 2003 6:00 pm Where was I when the lights went out yesterday? I was on my way to the prison to do some HIV testing. When I got to the prison the main doors were chained shut to keep the prisoners from escaping. The main door is powered by electricity. I walked up the front steps and could see the inside of the building was pitch black. The supervisor on duty asked me if I wanted to come in the building and I was like, "Hell no." Some how going inside of a pitch black building with 500 prisoners wasn't sitting well with my spirt. I told them I was doing just fine sitting on the steps in front of the prison. Two of my male staff members were already locked inside the building. I told them through an open window if the lights didn't come on soon we were leaving. So, I spent the next hour listening to my car radio, then running up the steps of the prison to tell the staff members at the main door what was going on, because they didn't have a battery operated radio. The next thing I know... another staff member backs his truck up against one of the side doors, because without electricity the prisoners could have escaped by turning the door knob and walking out. After that I was done. I told my staff to come out of that building and call it a night. I like my job, but I don't like it that much. Sunday, August 10, 2003 6:00 pm What a week! I had a ball hosting the Midnight Poetry Jam with Malcolm-Jamal Warner at the National Black Theater Festival. At one point it seemed like everyone in town was at the poetry reading. We had to turn people away at the door every night. One night we had an eighty-five old elder, named Bobby Jones, do a poem on the mic. The crowd went bananas when she got off the stage. It was the best mixture of old and young poets. While I was down there I did a bunch of radio interviews, press conferences, and had the chance to see three great plays. I can't even begin to name all of the people I met while I was down there. I'm talking: Kim Fields, Dawn Lewis, Joseph Marcell, Art Evans, Joan Pringle, CCH Pounder, Sloan Robinson, Phillip Rose, Kim Brockington, Cee Cee Michaela, Dr. Glory Van Scott...and the list goes on, and on, and on. Well, that is it for now. I can go on, and on, and on, but I wont. I just want to type a special shout out to my man Jarrell Crump, Tim, DJ Rev Lee, Tad, and WB for looking out for a sista'. Saturday, July 26, 2003 12:11 am It's time for updates. For those who keep asking..."The Man" wrote a letter to the traffic department of the county he got the ticket in while we were in California. Asking the courts to waive the $250 ticket. He stated in the letter it was his first visit to California and that he was throwing himself on the mercy of the court. He told me not to worry he would take care of everything, but when I asked him if he sent the letter certified mail he told me, "No." Hmmmmm, should I be concerned? Other than that everything is okay. I'm getting ready to go to North Carolina for a few day to co-host a show with Malcolm-Jamal Warner and I'm still working on my second CD. Oh, before I forget....for those who keep asking me about the sex offender dude...he is still coming to my office, but "The Man" is now his primary counselor. Let me see, is there anything else before I forget...Oh, my main office might be moving to a new location. I guess after that drug dealer got shot in front of my office the big dogs in Trenton decided to move us to a safer location. The guy was in critical condition for a month and they had to amputate one of his legs. I've actually made friends with most of the drug dealers and the prostitutes in the area, but I'm not trying to get use to dodging bullets from fellas fighting over street corners and land they don't own. We've come a long way, but some of us are just "stuck on stupid." Thursday, July 10, 2003 9 pm Long time no type, but that does not mean my life has been drama free. Let's go back to July 3, 2003. I had to do a radio interview with Lex Lyric from WKCR radio in New York. Sounds simple, but I'm from Jersey and after being lost for about an hour, unable to find a spot to park in Harlem, getting trapped in the radio station's hallway...yes, I said "TRAPPED"...for 15 minutes (I got in the main door, had to take the steps to the second floor, but couldn't get out the hallway. I didn't have the security code. No one told me I needed the security code. Anyway, I called, Puffy on my cell phone. To make a long story short, Puffy calls Gwen, our publiscist, and she calls the radio station to tell them I'm stuck in the hallway on the second floor), I eventually got in and did the interview. Then I rushed across town to meet Butta' at Go Sushi and went to the Nuyorican to perform. Okay, on to the next story. One would think with all the people I know someone would have been having a cook-out on the fourth. I couldn't find a single cook-out to go to. Now Skillz decided we should have a cook-out at Yuty's house, since Yuty has an actual house with a backyard. Sounded like a good idea, until Skillz calls me and tells me Yuty doesn't have a grill or a stove at her house. Anyway, a grill I can understand, but how can a person live in a house they brought with no stove for over a year. Well, I hang up the phone will Skillz and continue on with my day in search of a cook-out. Yuty calls me an hour latter to tell me Skillz just calls her and she wants me to get a grill from CVS. I was like, "Yuty, I'm not getting caught up in another crazy last minute plot by Skillz to do something. Remember when she decided to move and didn't have any boxes and you ended up in the hospital?" So to a make another long story short...no barbeque for HDL on the fourth. And for my last and final story,last Sunday Skillz wanted me to take her to the car wash I go to in Newark, NJ. Mind you, I have driven Skillz and showed her how to get to this car wash at least fifty times. Anyway, I get my car, Skillz follows me in her car and a rock hits my car on 280 and cracks my windshield. The crack travels from the right side all the way to the left side. Now I'm pissed, I didn't want to go get my car washed that day. I wanted to sit on my butt until it was time to go to New York for the show I had to do. Oh well things could be worse. $300 to get my windshield fixed, $12 for the car wash, quality time with my best friend Skillz priceless. Friday, June 6, 2003 11:15 pm Today is my last night in California. I'm too tired to pack. I'll get up in the morning and handle that. Oh, check this out. I rented a car on Wednesday to help me get back and forth to my shows. Thursday night I had to perform in Oakland. Dennis aka Den-Den, aka "The Man"drives the car to Oakland. We get to Oakland and Demond, Kaleema, and myself tells "The Man" don't park here this is a bus stop. "The Man," who sometimes forgets he is no longer in prison looks at us like we are crazy. Goes on, and on, and on about "Their is no one giving out tickets this time of night." Kaleema tells the man, "The police maybe." So, "The Man" gets out of the car ignores the red line on the curb, ignores the bus stop sign, so he can go inside and eat the cold burger he just brought from a spot called Giant Burger (that's another story). Well, to make a long story short...I get off of stage...we are about to leave the venue...and "The Man" walks over to me and says, "Oh, by the way WE got us a $250.00 parking ticket." I was like, "YOU GOT YOURSELF A $250.00 PARKING TICKET." Wait, there is more. "The Man" is upset with Demond, Kaleema, and myself, because we wont help him pay for ticket. Maybe it's Just Me....so I decided to take a survey. If you think "The Man" is crazy please e-mail your thoughts on this situation so I can post them on my web site. If you think Demond, Kaleema, and myself should help "The Man" pay for the ticket e-mail me your thoughts so I can post them on my web site. Oh, my e-mail address is hdlpoet@aol.com. the verdict is in [as of 17 june 2003]. Tuesday, June 3, 2003 5:20 pm Actually, I'm in California so it is 8:20 pm in Jersey. I've been here since Sunday. My job sent me to a conference on HIV/AIDS for the week. However, I will be performing at two venues thanks to the help of my girl Sonia from Oakland and Lisa from Sacramento. It's kinda colder than I thought it would be here. Day time fine... night time cold as I don't know what. I rocked the same same yellow sweat shirt for two days. This morning around 8 am Den-Den my co-worker called my hotel room and said, "Ms. Lewis, please do not wear that yellow sweat shirt today." Does he not know I am a poet. If I catch a cold out here I can't perform. Anyway, I didn't wear the yeollow sweat shirt today. On another note, I took my momz to the James Brown concert in Dover, New Jersey last Friday. I had a great time. After the concert my momz was like, "He didn't do any splits and he didn't do all of the dances he use to do." She was upset, but I was like, "Mom he is 70 years old." Okay, that's all for now. Sunday, May 25, 2003 1:00 am Yesterday morning my moms was like, "Helena, there is someone ringing the doorbell." First thing out my mouth, "I'm not expecting anyone. Must be a Jehovah Witness. You answear the door." Well, she wouldn't answer the door, so I went to the window and peeked out of the curtains. To my knowledge, I wasn't expecting anyone and, with the exception of my immediate family and five or six poetry people, very few people know where I live. So my moms was like, "You better answer that door, 'cause whoever it is keeps ringing the doorbell." So now I'm thinking to myself, "Did another prisoner get out and follow me home or what?" So, I told my moms, "Everyone who knows me would just call my cell phone." Well, before could complete the sentence, my cell phone starts to ring. I pick it up. I don't recognize the number, but I decide to answer it anyway. It was Sondjata from InnerVisions Productions. He was like, "Can you come outside and get these DVDs you told me to drop off." I told him to take those DVDs to Puffy's house since he lives close to him. I didn't tell him to drive all the way to my house. Poor Sondjata was outside for like 15 minutes in the rain and he would have been out there longer if he had not called my cell phone. When I opened the door he was like, "What took you so long?" and I told him why and we both laughed. Then, after thirty minutes of talking poetry, guess who shows up? The one the only Steve "Puffy" Donaldson. He came by to tell me he would be back to help me load the truck with the props I needed for the play. Speaking of play, the show went really well on Saturday and I'm doing my play again at the Nuyorican July 17th-20th. Friday, May 16, 2003 7:00 pm For those who keep asking, my thumb is okay. When the doctor told me I didn't have to have it re-broken and I didn't have to have surgery I was one happy black person. However, my eye was jacked up. I had this giant bump on my right eye that did not go away for a week. Which was not cute. Especially since I had a fashion show to do...as in model in a fashion show. I use to model and do make-up for shows all the time, but now I do one or two shows a year. After I finished doing my make-up you really couldn't see the bump on my right eye. I made the lid black and had the other make-up artist on staff put a pair of fake eye lashes on me. Talk about covering up a bump really good. I saw some of the pictures from the show and you can't even tell my eye was jacked up. How did I get the bump on my eye? Good question, but I don't know. I'm just glad the bump is gone. Sunday, April 27, 2003 6:00 pm I broke my right thumb. Actually, I broke it in February just before I went to Atlanta, but didn't know it until last week. What made me finally go to the doctor? Well, that is a good question and the truth is I went to the doctor because I didn't have anything else to do that day. Yes, I know that sounds crazy but, when I jacked-up my thumb in February, I thought I sprained it. I also thought it wasn't getting better, but I was never home. I was so busy doing my one-woman play, taping for HBO, and a bunch of other stuff I didn't pay attention to my own body telling me it was in pain. Anyway, on Tuesday I have to go see a specialist. I'm pretty sure the specialist is going to have to do one of three things: 1) re-break my thumb and set it right, 2) Schedule me for surgery to fix the bone that is pointing in the wrong direction, 3) All of the above. Oh well, things could be worse. Wednesday, April 15, 2003 6:00 pm Long time, no type. I'm still working hard. My job has me working with SEX OFFENDERS now. The last time someone from another agency refered someone to me, the lady on the phone told me, "Don't worry, he only likes little kids. You will be safe working with him." As if that was better. So, to make a long story short, the refering agency puts dude on a bus and sends him to Newark and tells him to call me when he gets to town. He arrrives in Newark at 3:00 pm, he calls my office, I tap my co-worker, Demond, and tell him he has to come with me to get this guy. We pick up the guy, take him to get an I.D., so he could stay in a shelter overnight and, while we were waiting for his I.D., dude looks me up and down from head to toe and says, "You look kinda young to be a counselor." I look at him and say, "I'm 50 years old. We are not here to talk about my age." Well, to make an even longer story short, we take dude back to my office so another male staff memeber can take him to a shelter. When the other guy I work with takes him to the shelter, the sex offender starts to sweat. Goes into this long speech about he can't stay in a shelter, he wants to show his family he is a changed man, being in a shelter might jeopardize his recovery. So, the other male staff member takes him to a rooming house and pays for him to stay there for one week out of his own pocket. He walks the sex offender to his room and the sex offender turns to my other co-worker and says, "This room is too small." This dude was out of prison for one day, had no place to stay, no family to help him, no money, we go out of our way to pick him up, transport him, and give him a place to stay for a week free of charge, and his way of thanking us is by saying, "This room is too small." Thursday, March 27, 2003 10:30 am I couldn't even begin to recap the past couple of days. I've been on the move since I taped for Def Poetry. I did my one-woman show at Rutgers University and I had another four-night run at the Nuyorican. I spent almost every day of the month in New York, and I'm from Jersey. Anyway, I just found out I've been chosen to appear on Def Poetry. So I will air on Friday, April 4, 2003 at 12:30 AM. I told my mother, thinking she would be happy for me, and she said, "I'm going to be in bed when it comes on." As in, "I'll BE SLEEP!" Talk about bursting my bubble. I know she will watch it 'cause she said the same thing when I was on Blind Date. Regardless of what she does, I'm going to be glued to the TV. I don't know what poem they are going to air or how they are going to air it...I just know, on Friday, April 4, 2003 @ 12:30 AM ET, my VCR will be on. Saturday, March 1, 2003, 10:00 am YES!, YES! YES! The story about the man with one arm is true. People keep asking me and I keep telling them, "I couldn't have made that up even if I wanted to." Mental Note: Hi Mike, Hi Jessica, Hi Joel, Hi Rasheed, Hi Ian. Anyway, I'm taping for the third season of Def Poetry Jam next Wednesday. For whatever reason, folks don't seem to realize that TAPING has nothing to do with AIRING. So, let me break it down. HBO will tape seven shows over the course of three days, some poets are being flown in from out of state, some poets are from the tri-state area, they will tape approximately 80 poets, maybe a little more, or a little less, from the poets they taped they will proceed to use that raw footage to make seven shows for HBO. Now what does that mean? It means I may or may not be chosen as one of the poets to air on HBO after the shows have been edited. How do I feel about that? It is part of life. Do I hope they choose me? HELL YEAH, I would be lying if I said otherwise. So cross your fingers and I will keep you posted. Oh, before I forget, I don't work for HBO and I don't work for Def Poetry Jam. The above is my understanding on how everything is going down. So don't sue me. Plus I'm don't have any money. After I tape for HBO I'm taking my butt back to Jersey, so I can get in my bed, get some sleep, get up and go back to my 9 to 5 gig the next day. I'm still hustling. Monday, February 24, 2003 9:57 pm Man, I don't even know where to start. I was supposed to fly out to Atlanta on the 18th but, because of the blizzard, I couldn't get a flight out until the 19th. I'm not complaining, 'cause when I went outside to get my shovel on, the snow was past my knees. There was so much snow outside my dog wouldn't go outside. I had to shovel the porch, shovel a path from the porch to a tree, go in the house, put his leash on, and drag him outside. It took me a day and a half to shovel my car free. If you've been to my parents home you know their driveway is huge. So that was a six hour adventure. My father had the snow blower, I had the shovel, my nephew,Big Mike walked like twenty blocks to help, because his car was stuck on a hill or something. And my mother was like, "I'm not helping." It was a mess, and I was doing everything I could to make sure I got on a plane to head out to Atlanta. I had to fly out of New York, fly to Ohio, stay there for four hours, and then take a second plane to Atlanta. It was worth the hassle I HAD A BALL IN ATLANTA. I CAN'T WAIT TO GO BACK. Shout outs to my girl from Louisiana, Michelle C. I met her when I was in Atlanta. She is mad cool. Oh, and I still can't belive how polite eveyone is in Atlanta. You can't walk one block without someone saying, "Hello." It kinda scared me. I'm so used to people wanting to kill you for looking at them the wrong way. Wednesday, February 12, 2003 10:30 pm My girlfriend decided to move out of her apartment last Saturday. She asked me for help and I said "Yes." She calls me around 10 AM and told me she was on her way to rent a storage space and afterwards she was going to swing by my house and get me. 90 minutes pass. She calls me back, "Helena, can you come get me, the police are going to tow the truck, if you don't come they are going to tow the truck, blah, blah, blah...." I go to her aid. A police officer walks up to me as I got out of my car and was like, "Is she your friend? You need to talk to her, there is a warrant out for her arrest, I called the city that issued the warrant to lock her up, but they don't want to come get her 'cause it is just for tickets she owes, that is why her license is suspended...." Now, get into this. The reason why she got pulled over by the cops, according to the cop I was talking to, SHE HITS A CAR WITH THE TRUCK SHE WAS DRVING, TOLD THE PERSON WHO WAS DRVING THE CAR SHE RAN INTO, "I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS, I'M BUSY..." And drove off. Marinate on that for a few, because there is more to this story. The cop that I was speaking to asked me to talk to her and allowed me to drive the rented truck she had away so it wouldn't get towed. I had to park my car across the street, but was not happy about it, because there was some strange man walking around with ONE ARM saying, "Do you need some help unloading that truck." What was he going to do, open doors for us? He only had ONE ARM. His left arm was gone. So, I told the man with ONE ARM there was nothing in the truck and he said, "I can help you load the truck." Excuse me for being redundant, but HE HAD ONE ARM. Now, I'm in the truck driving the truck to her apartment. I was mad, but still trying to be a good friend. I get to her house and two girls from the poetry scene were there to help. The first thing we did, drive back to my car to rescue it from the ONE ARM man, who was still there and we drove back to her apartment. I'm thinking, "Okay this shouldn't take long, I've been in her apartment before, she doesn't have a lot of stuff, I'm sure she is already packed." Boy was I wrong. She was not packed. She had not packed a single item and, to make matters worse, no one else came to help her move. So, the four of us did everything. Mind you, four females did everything. Now, I'm all for equal rights, but when one has to move, one needs some men folk to help out. I only weigh 118 lbs. I can only lift but so much. I did not get home until 6:00 pm. There is MORE to this already long story, but I'm still traumatized by the entire incident and can no longer type about it... I’m seriously considering working this in to my second one-woman show. Thursday, February, 6, 2003 8:05 am SNOW DAY!!!!! I woke up this morning to my supervisor telling me don't come to work and to call the rest of my staff. I looked out my window and was like "WOW!" If she had not called me I'm sure, once I looked out the window on my own, my butt would have went back to bed. I learned a long time ago STAY HOME when it snows more than four inches. When I was young and stupid, I went to work in the middle of a snow storm once. By the time I got to work my job closed, sent everyone home, and it took me six hours to get home. Oh, and I didn't even make it home. Now that I think about it, I didn't have a car back than so I got a ride home with a friend and we got stuck on 280 in a Honda CRX. We ran out of gas and I didn't get home until the next day. We were stuck on 280 for six hours. I guess that is why six hours is stuck in my head. Anyway, back to poetry. Special shout out to my girl Lyric. I haven't seen her in over two years. We co-featured together at Serengeti Plains last Friday. Lyric is a new mother and her baby is six or seven months old. She had to bring her baby with her and turned her set into a family affair. Lyric had her book in one hand, her baby on her hip, and her husband B-Boxing in the microphone and did not miss a beat. She finished her feature and bounced. You had to be there. She put the "M" in mother that night. Thursday, January 30, 2003 9:32 pm Today I concluded, sometimes you have to love your family from a distance. Especially if it is to keep your sanity. Monday, January 20, 2003 3:00 pm For those who keep wondering if my car is in the auto body shop. I dropped it off this morning. Seems like, because my car was hit by a state owned vehicle, I cannot take them to court for damages to my car. Something called, Title 59. All they have to do, if they accept the police report that clearly states the NJDOC van backed into my car, is give me back the $500 deductible (I hope I spelled that right) that I had to pay to fix the damage to my vehicle that they caused. Yep, can you say, "Stuck Up Without A Gun." On another note, today is MLK Day. I remember when his birtday became an offical holiday. My part time job wanted me to come to work, but I declined. I was broke, with lint in my pocket and there was just no way I was going to work. Can you imagine how much better the world would be if he was still alive? Can you imagine how much better the world would be if people made it their number one duty to help each other and be nice to each other? Saturday, January 18, 2003 7:05 pm What do you do when your boy from Washington, DC asks you to come to his spot? You go. Especially if your boy is the one, the only, Droopy, "Broke Baller" Anderson. This trip was six months in the making and we finally worked every thing out for me to go to his spot last Thursday. Gemineye co-featured with me, and he also doubled as shot gun in my car. Since my last stalker incident I don't travel alone. So, on the way back to Jersey we stopped at Waffle House and I had to call Flow. We have been playing Waffle House Tag since my trip to Ohio. If you know Flow, and if you know me, you know we love the Waffle House. After our meal at the Waffle House... HMMMM, they should pay me for free advertisement... We pulled into a gas station and I went inside to pay so Gem could pump gas in the car. I told the dude behind the counter, "$12 on pump one." Put my money on the counter and went back to the car. For what ever the reason the guy behind the counter allowed Gem to pump $15.50 of gas in the car. The first thing I said to myself was, "They beat, I told dude $12." But, I'm working on a better me today and Gem went inside to pay the difference and get something to drink. That's when every thing fell apart. Gem aka Gemineye is WHITE, and for some strange reason THE PEOPLE AT THE GAS STATION DID NOT, OR REFUSED TO UNDERSTAND that we were traveling together in the same car. There is more to this story, but I'm tired of banging on this keyboard. Sunday, January 12, 2003 11:30 pm Last Sunday I did a photo shoot in Harlem. At the time it seemed like a good thing to do. Baron, my boy from Soulbath Collective, is also a photographer. We vowed never to take another picture in the winter time again. I was like, "Who wanted to take these pictures again?" "Give me back my coat." "My nose, I need tissue for my nose." So, to make a long story short the pictures are back, and I'm making new promotional cards with them. On another note, I was at Tops last night with D the Schizophrenic, Baron, and Gemineye. The waitress comes over and D orders a veggie burger. The waitress looks at him and asks him if he wants his veggie burger well done. So D says, "Well, as well as you can cook raw vegetables." The waitress then proceds to say, "We must cook all our food to a certain internal temperature." We fell out. We busted on that waitress all night long, but we didn't let her see us or hear us 'cause the world is so crazy you never know what someone might do to your food these days. Friday, January 3, 2003 10:30 pm The weather is too bad to be on the streets in Jersey right now. I'm talking ice, I'm talking snow, I'm talking I miss Florida. Now, I don't want to live there, but when the weather is like this I think about it. I tell my girl Renea from Florida all the time, "You like snow 'cause you never had to shovel it." But, I'M SO NEW JERSEY, I can't see myself living anywhere else. Anyway, what's up with me and the police lately. A cop pulled me over for doing 30 in a 25 mph zone. Never mind the drug-dealers on the corner or the gang-members on the other corner. I was doing 30 in a 25 mile per hour zone. It's a good thing I'm a poet. I talked my way out of that ticket. Wednesday, January 1, 2003 8:30 pm HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! This year I'm staying away from NEGATIVE PEOPLE. What's wrong with CHASING your dreams? My motto for this year is, "YES I CAN." Friday, November 22, 2002 9:10 pm Okay, this is one of those stories that will not sound true, BUT IS. Last Friday I was at work. If you know me, you know I work in the depths, of the bowels, of the ghetto and I love it... Now, I usually park my car in the drug store parking lot across the street... I don't like to park my car in front of my job becuase of the drug dealers who love to do things like tie pitbulls to your car. Anyway, I was running late for the jail.. So my plan was, park the car, run in my office, get my bag, and bounce. I parked my car, and a NJDOC van backs into my park car. Never mind the fact I was honking my horn like a fool, never mind the officers in the truck jumped out and started spewing profanity at me. Never mind the fact I got out of my car and sat on the hood and said NOTHING. Never mind the fact no one in the truck approached me to say, "Oh, are you okay?" Never mind the fact I had to tell the boys on the block, to clear the block... because they surrounded the fools who hit my car... NEVER MIND THE FACT, I DID NOT RAISE MY VOICE THE ENTIRE TIME... These fine, outstanding, citizens, who have no respect for the population they are hired to police... went aroud telling other idiots I was trying to start a riot and had the drug dealers on the verge of kicking their butts. Is there more to this story? Yes. Is there a poem in the works? Yes!!!!!!! Saturday, November 9, 2002 1:10 am I know, bad poet, I have not updated my journal page since September. I probably wouldn't be at the keyboard right now if it was not for CHARLES, THE OWNER OF SERENGETI PLAINES, LOCATED @ 615 BLOOMFIELD AVENUE, MONTCLAIR, NEW JERSEY. I went to his spot tonight. I have not seen him since I was promoting for my one-woman show in September. Well, to make a long story short... Charles chews me out about Serengeti Plains not being mentioned on my web page. He was like, "I didn't even know you had a web page. I found it by accident. You talk about every venue you go to except mine. Oh, I'm in Florida. Oh, I'm in Ohio. Oh, I'm at the Nuyo..." Now if anyone else had got gansta with me like that we would have been on the floor rolling, dreads every where... Now Charles, he can get that. Why? When Bogies closed their doors on us he gave us a place to call home. He even sponsored the 2001 Jersey National Slam Team. So, I would like to give a special, special shout-out to my man Charles for opening the doors to his establishment, for renting chairs, for letting us rock and push product, for not getting mad at Flow when he broke that glass thing, for feeding us, for always supporting Jersey and poets from out of state, for letting me put a lamp on lay-a-way for a year, and for being a really nice guy. Now, if anyone is wondering where I've been for the last two months... I've been real busy. I performed my play at Rutgers, Newark and at the Nuyorican, I started working on my second one-woman show, working on my second CD, auditioned for some commercials, and I was on tour in Florida. Shout-outs to all my Florida poets and the students at North Miami Dade High School. Stay focused and study hard!!!!!! Thursday, September 5, 2002 1:15 am So much has happened to me since the last time I edited my journal page. Let me start with how I almost crashed my car on 280. A bug flew in my eye and my girl Stephanie, had to grab the wheel. We ended up on the side of the road with me trying to rinse my eye out with bottled water. I was telling someone the other day it seems like the weirdest stuff happens to me. On another note, I opened up for Donell Jones last Friday. I get to the spot and can't get in. I think the security people at the door thought I was a groupie. The dude I spoke to brushed me off and was like, "You gotta get in line." The line was almost two blocks long. I didn't fuss. I stepped away from the entrance, got on my cell phone, made two calls, and one of the promoters for the event came outside and got me. I had never heard of Donell Jones until I got booked to open for him. Skillz was like, "If you weren't such a freaking club head you might have heard of the man before." What is wrong with club music? I love club music. I'm talking Jersey style. I'm talking Club 88. I'm talking Club America. I'm talking Scandals. I'm talking the Zans. Anyway, she happens to be right, but that is another story. Now, I'm not a groupie, but Donell made me a fan that night. I have to start bringing my camera when I perform so I can take pictures and post them on the web site. Shout-outs to the Witches Of Eastwick, my favorite DJ...DJ Doughboy, and Monie Love from Power 105.1. Wednesday, August 14, 2002 11:45pm I had a ball last night at Verses. Malik Yoba was there and he performed with another cat named J. James. I was like, "Wow, they can sing." In the middle of their set Malik Yoba’s sister passed him a tube of Vaseline for his lips while he was on stage. I was like, that is family for you…they will embarrass you in public and think nothing of it…I talked to her after the show and she was like, “His lips are always dry…” I don't know if his lips were dry, but if she felt the need to pass the Vaseline he must have been in need of some... Thursday, August 8, 2002 9:00pm In my best Charlie Brown voice......Ugggggh, I think I'm catching a cold. Actually, I have a cold...which means I have a problem. I have three shows to do next week, but things could be worse. For example, I had to tell a 23 year old guy he was HIV Positive last week. I hate giving out positive test results, it is the only part of my job I don't like. Some people take it well, some people freak out...like throwing chairs and jump off the roof type freak out...and some people refuse to believe their results and ask to be retested. Friday, July 26, 2002 10:00pm Where do I start? I've been wanting to write sine the last Women Of Word show at the Nuyorican three weeks ago, but I was busy. The third run of my show was last weekend so you know how that goes...no time to do anything except eat, sleep, and practice. The day of the first show I stepped in dog shit and I was wearing scandals...let me say it with you, "UUUGGGGGHHHH, that is nasty." To make matters worse, the "dog doo" got on the board for my play and some of the props, becuase I was trying to pack the truck with the stuff for the play..anyway, I finally made it to New York with the help of Skillz and Rebecca and we got the stage together and took off to get my favorite chicken from Go Sushi...on the way there Rebecca was like, "Something is wrong there are no street lights, everyone is on their cell phones, and what's up with that big cloud of black smoke." I was totally focused on getting to Go Sushi so I wasn't listening to her, but not listening to her. When we got to Go Sushi and they had no lights...that is when I had a problem, 'cause I couldn't eat what I wanted to eat. Lucky for me, the black-out did not affect the Bowery Poetry Club or else I would have been in trouble...I guess stepping in that "dog doo" was good luck, becuase my play got picked up for ten more shows...and today my mother and I stopped, or is it my mother and me stopped...anyway we stopped these guys from stealing an Acura in front of the house, but that would take five pages of typing to explain so, if you see me in person, ask and I will tell you every little detail... Wednesday, July 3, 2002 8:00pm Okay, the last couple of days have been unreal. I flew to Ohio on Sunday and came back Monday. I featured at the Dayton Slam and I had a ball. It was my first time in Ohio so I had a thousand and one Ohio questions. I was like "Can you turn on red?" "How are the cops out here?" "Is it hard to find jobs?" "How much does it cost to rent an apartment out here?" "Word, did they really tape WKRP out here?" I had a great time, but I can't say I would want to live there, because of my allergies...I had the worst allergy attack out there...I'm talking I took two OTC and one Zyrtex and still couldn't get it together...and I was told everyone with hay fever has a hard time in Ohio...While I was out there I met some really nice people. Everyone was really nice to me...well, everybody except one drunk lady ... and I got a chance to see some people I have not seen since the Nationals in 2000. After I got off the mic, I talked to a sister I met almost a year ago at a college gig in MA. She missed my feature, so I was like come outside and I'll kick some poems on the sidewalk for you....so I did a mini feature on the curb for her and a few other folks. After the slam, a bunch of us were hanging outside of the venue, which is right next to a bar, and this drunk lady came staggering out of the bar, flipped us the bird and threw out a racial slur and I was like, "Okay"....I knew that, "We are all Americans since 9-11" was a joke. Mind you, six of us were Black, one was Asian, and 3 were White and we concluded collectively as a group the world was infested with ignorant people. The sad part, almost all of the Black poets were like, "Oh, I'm used to being called Nigger when I come to this part of town." oh-my-goodness...and despite that little incident I would still go back to Ohio...thank goodness there are more good people than bad people...So, after saying my good-byes to Bill Abbott, Amy, Tim, Robert, Nick Fox, Marie, Boon, and my girl Angi, I spent the night at Furaha's and she took me to the airport for my flight out. Now, my flight was delayed, because President Bush was also flying out of Ohio...but that is another story... Saturday, June 8, 2002 9:00pm Can you say Nuyorican? It was off the hook last night. That was the best slam, the best GRAND SLAM FINALE….and I’ve been to a thousand and one slams….My boy Regie Cabico featured and he had the crowd in the palms of his hands…The goat drove from MA and I was like, "I know her." I met her at the Nationals in 2000 and she got like a 29.7…and the slam ended in a three-way-tie between Devynity, Gemineye, and Kahilil Almustafa so the normal three round slam went into a fourth round SUDDEN DEATH… I was like oh-my-goodness…In the end Kahilil beat Gemineye by .1 and Devynity by .2 or .3…and I walked around for like 15 minutes saying, “WOW, WASN’T THAT THE BEST SLAM EVER!” In my book everyone who slammed stepped to the mic and brought it like their life was on the the line... Thursday, June 6, 2002 11:00pm Every time I go to Florida I get attacked by mosquitoes....I came back with three GIANT MOSQUITOE BITES THIS TIME...LAST TIME I WENT I CAME HOME WITH 33 BITES....anyway Love Jones Revived was off the hook...AND I HAVE A NEWFOUND LOVE FOR WIRELESS MICS....and I have to shout out my girl Renea L. Moss who flew from Canada just to take me to Waffle House...I LOVE THE WAFFLE HOUSE...and I can't forget all of the Florida Poets that were in the house...Nki and her partner in crime, Da-Real One, Sunshine, Harry, Honey Dew, Jeff, POW, Kelvin from the original Love Jones Slam, Rebecca, Mike, Kieth, Terri....and the entire Love Jones Crew... Saturday, June 1, 2002 7:00pm I got a chance to see Vanessa Hildary's one-woman show, Culture Bandit, last Wednesday and it was GREAT!!!!!!!! ...I've been telling everyone I know go check out her show...What about my play? Glad you asked, I will be performing it again at the Bowery Poetry Club on July 20 & July 21...So please check it out if you have not had the chance to see it....What I need to do right now is pack....I'm on my way to Florida for a few days...my job is sending me to a HIV/AIDS conference...so while I'm down there you know I'm doing poetry...I will be performing at Love Jones on Tuesday and I was supposed to perform at Speak Easy on Wednesday, but my job is flying me out on Wednesday...so I had to cancel that show...I hate to cancel a show, I've only pulled out of two shows in four years...one show was in Delaware 'cause I had the flu, and Speak Easy is the second...but I talked to Josh, the guy who host the poetry at Speak Easy, and when I go on tour for my second CD, guess where I'm going first? Friday, May 17, 2002 11:30pm Long time no type...I don't know if that is good or bad...good because I've been really busy with shows, meetings, and promoting....bad because I'm not getting any sleep...I've gotten maybe, and I'm guessing in my favor, maybe three hours of sleep per night since May 4th....Tonight I was supposed to go to the Bowery Poetry Club to see a play, but I called myself taking a 30 minute nap and woke up 6 hours later...and believe it or not I'm still tired so I'm going back to bed...I guess this double life I'm living is catching up with me..... Monday, April 15, 2002 10:30pm Well, I'm in the middle of my duties as trainer, model, make-up artist...for Essex County College Fashion Entertainment Board. I've been their head female trainer since 1994...I know a long time...but it's cool to open up a magazine or look at a music video and see some of the models I had the pleasure of working with over the years...the only problem is, I have no time for myself...between the second run of the play, my job, working on my second CD, working with the models, passing out flyers for the play...I have no time to just chill-out...I'm looking foward to a day when I can just stay home and do my fingernails or something... Sunday, March 17, 2002 10:pm Actually, it is 10pm in Madrid, Spain...which means it is 4pm in Jersey...I´ve been here since Thursday, I´m having a good time, but there is no place like home. I had to get away from the people I´m traveling with...at my age...I just don´t have the time or the energy to argue over anything I think is stupid...but I respect the thoughts of all people...I just didn´t come half way around the world to fight over nothing...I saw a bull fight today...I was on the bull´s side...after the third fight I had to go...that poor bull was straight up in the MISSISSIPPI CROSS...in other words, I´m not a fan of bull fighting...the people in Madrid are from all over...pick a country...and pick a state...I´ve talked to people from Alabama, Texas, Massachuttes, Italy...and the weather is cold...I have on two pairs of pants, three shirts, and two pairs of socks...and I can´t prove it, but I think the folks from Madrid, but the P in PARTY...the clubs here don´t get going until 1 am and don't close until 9 to 10 am the next day...reminds me of my days at the Shelter...one more thing about the weather here...it warms up at night...don´t ask me why, but when I leave this cyber cafe...I´m going to shed some of my layers...if I get the chance I will write again...there is so much I have to type about...what a learning experience!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sunday, March 10, 2002 10pm Women Of Word at the Nuyo was off the hook....everyone on the ticket stepped to the mic and ripped... Ebony Washington opened and hosted, I went second...Jackie Sheeler went after me... Aileen Cho went after her...and Mayda dell Valle closed the first set....IT WAS A STANDING ROOM ONLY EVENT...people everywhere...I closed the second set and went to the back by Julio...and I made the mistake of saying, "It's hot in here." Why did I say that...Julio looked at me and said, "Don't start that fainting shit in here again." I was like, you know...you pass out one time on the mic and certain people can't let it go...almost two years ago...I had to feature at a Saturday show at the Nuyo...I was really hungry, but didn't get a chance to eat...but I performed and when I fell out on stage...I woke up across the street in Julio's apartment surrounded, by 15 people with juice, food, fruit all kinds of stuff ...now that's love... Saturday, March 9, 2002 1pm Well, Steve Donaldson aka Puff Daddy of Poetry, pulled out his pimp card yesterday...so, instead of getting ready for my trip to Spain...I ended up at Nell's...when I got off the stage I couldn't find Steve or Skillz and Steve had my glasses...which meant I was lost in a crowd of 200 plus people and I couldn't see...to make a long story short...I found my way to the bathroom and after I took a leak...I had a nice conversation with a young lady about one-night stands...don't ask...eventually Steve found me and the three of us were off to the Nuyorican to check out the slam... Sunday, March 3, 2002 9pm Last night I had to open for Allure and some other recording artists at Lisa Durden's B-Day Bash...I left NJPAC and rushed over to Club Millennium for the show...my mind told me, "Helena Don't Park In Their Parking Lot." I didn't listen to my mind...I parked in their parking lot...did my set and got ready to bounce to my next show...when I went back to my car...my car was blocked in by a white car with a flat tire...I was like, "This is not looking good." So I go back inside the club with Skillz...and a very nice bouncer guy helped me get to the DJ booth, 'cause it was packed and, after about 20 minutes, I went back outside to try to get my car out...Skillz, who had on a suede full-length coat, stayed inside while my poor butt goes out in the pouring rain in cloth, blue-jean boots...I get to my car..things were looking good...the other car with the flat tire was gone...now comes the real DRAMA...the gate to the parking lot was pushed shut, but not locked...I couldn't get it open...I pushed, I pulled, I kicked the gate open and, after 15 minutes, I was able to crack it just enough to squeeze my car out...I hoped...I get back in my car and the gate closes on me...I was like, "What the *&%!@@!!! I get out the car 10 minutes later, I'm driving my car off the sidewalk to get out of the parking lot, but I made it out...got Skillz and we were out...Mad shout-outs to the guy who gave me his coat so I wouldn't get wet when we first got to the club...but where were you when I couldn't get the gate open???? I would also like to shout-out all of the Weather Men...next time I gotta check the weather before I rush out of the house.. Wednesday, February 27, 2002 8am My one-woman show was last Saturday...I thought making my CD was hard, but this play had me up for weeks, with no sleep...I thought I was going to have to kill Skillz on several occasions (She was the director) and the day before the show I kept messing up my lines...then on the day of the show I thought I was having a nervous breakdown or something...but everything went so well....I've been offered to do the show in North Carolina, several colleges, and another theater is interested in having it...AND I WAS ONLY GOING TO DO IT ONE TIME...but I gotta say this if it wasn't for Demond, Skillz, and Latin...I might have had a real NERVOUS BREAKDOWN... Monday, January 21, 2002 10am Last night was the last and final run of the Sondheim Slam at the Public Theater. When Regie Cabico, Nuyorican 1993 Slam Champion, called me and asked me to particiapte in the production I was a little hesitant, becuase I had to perform another author's work. However, I am so glad I got down with the production...it gave me a once in a lifetime oppurtunity to work with some of the top names in Performance/Slam Poetry...I'm talking Evert Eden, Yolanda Wilkinson, Myda Del Valle, Shappy Seasholtz, Cristin O'Keefe Atowicz, and Patricia Smith. We all worked so well together and I wish the run of the show was longer 'cause I miss them already... Sunday, January 20, 2002 3pm Where should I start? I flew out to Minnesota to do a show. When the airplane landed, the pilot said, "Welcome to Minneapolis. The temperature is one degree." He did not say "degrees," he said "degree," as in single digit temperature ,and I knew immediately I was not prepared to face the weather. I did not have my long johns or my Timbs. According to some of the people I talked to, they were actually having an unusually warm winter...I even saw one lady walking around with a pair of sandals and no socks...anyway, the hotel I stayed at was okay, the entertainment company that flew me out was on point, the show I did went well...now comes the DRAMA... after the show I was surrounded by a pack of male perverts...one idiot even touched my butt...I was like, "You sorry !#*%^&#@." My flight out was at 6:55am and it was 4am and I was still at the club, where the show took place...and if you had to fly since 9-11, you already know I was late for the flight...the plan was simple, go back to the hotel, pack and take a cab to the airport...stupid me...I decided to rest my eyes for a little bit...and when I woke up it was 6:10 am....I called Mike B's room and said, "Get up, Get up, Get up! We are going to miss the plane!" If you don't know Mike B. you will he is a very talented comedian who has a must-see special scheduled to air soon on Comedy Central....We raced down to the lobby and got in a cab...by the time we got to the airport it was 6:30 am and our flight was cancelled...we should have called, it was snowing...the next flight out was at 3:55 pm...so since we did not check out of our rooms, we caught another cab back to the hotel we were staying at to get some rest...on the way back, it was snowing so bad the taxi driver almost hit another car that had lost control on the highway...and 5 minutes into a 10 minute ride, the meter read 30 dollars...Mike and I were like, "There is something wrong with your meter. We paid 20 dollars to get to the airport and we are not paying more than 20 dollars to get back." The taxi driver hits the meter and said, "There is something wrong with my meter..." and we were like, "Yeah, right, there is something wrong with your meter." Well, to make a long story short after going back to the airport, catching two airplanes, getting delayed in Chicago, two gate changes, a little "No vamos aqui, vamos aqui" circling La Guardia for two hours because the runway was iced over, and the airplane skidding down the runway, we made it home...but the most important thing is...WE MADE IT HOME SAFELY...and that is the only thing that matters... Tuesday, January 1, 2002 4:30pm Happy New Year...If you haven't gotten the January '02 issue of the Source pick one up and read the article I wrote on page 48 about Def Poetry Jam...mental note...I did not use the word slam to describe the event...I've been talking to my web designer and we have decided to put the official transcripts...which are the interviews I did with Deb Pointer, Bruce George, Kayo, Flow Mentalz and Mayda del Valle on the site so check back in the future for the ultimate 411 on Def Poetry Jam... Wednesday, November 7, 2001 8:30pm The last two weeks have been mad hectic...I've been running around trying to make it happen...I've been to Delaware, been lost in Baltimore, taped a TV show, wrote another article for the Source, completely forgot about my sister's birthday, and my main office flooded thanks to a busted pipe...sometimes I wish I could stop time so I could play catch-up... Sunday, October 28, 2001 10:30pm First of all, let me shout out my girl Roz G...she is doing her thing every Friday night at Club Onyx in the heart of the Bricks aka Newark, NJ...and I have to give it up to my boy Steve "Puffy" Donaldson for getting his host on yesterday at Lyrical Fusion...the show was off the hook...Narubi did her thing, Devynity did her thing, Amanda Diva did her thing, K-Rob did her thing and a sister with locks(oh, that would me) did her thing as well...and mad shout-outs to Laura and Mya who were at the Nuyorican for the first time yesterday...oh, and before I forget...LAURA IF YOU CAN'T FIND SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT, AND I KNOW YOU CAN'T, CALL THE NUYORICAN KAYO PUT IT UP FOR YOU!!!!!! Sunday, October 14, 2001 2:15pm Things I don't understand...if you go to an auto shop and the mechanic or the person pretending to be a mechanic says, "You have a hole in your radiator," why are you surprised when your vehicle over-heats on the parkway causing you to get stuck for two hours... Why a female would allow a man to spit on her private parts...below the waist....to act as a lubricant in the middle of sexual relations... The above stories are true and they are no doubt things I don't understand... Saturday, October 6, 2001 5pm I just got back from Springfield, MA. I had to do a show out there...to make a long story short it is a three hour drive without traffic from Springfield to my home...Why did Skillz, my best friend and road dog, wake up on the way home 45 minutes from home just to say, "Do you want me to drive?" Wednesday, October 3, 2001 4am Yes, it is 4am and I'm at my keyboard. I've been stuck up without a gun. The sign clearly stated, no parking 7 am to 7 pm...I parked my car at 8:15 pm, when I came back to get in it to drive home, NO CAR...at first I thought I was on the wrong street, but Skillz was like, "We Parked Here." I found a police officer who was able to tell me my car was towed to Pier 76...mind you NO OTHER CARS WERE TOWED OFF THE SAME STREET!! JUST MY CAR WITH THE NEW JERSEY LICENSE PLATES...total damage for going to the city to check out Def Poetry Jam: $6.00 to take the Lincoln Tunnel + $150.00 to get my car out of police custody + $55.00 ticket that was on the windshield when I got it...do the math...no matter how I look at it, I was stuck up with out a gun.

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