Memorial day week, Gramma and Grampa came to visit (that is to say, Paul and Mayumi's gramma and grampa came to visit - although I now find myself referring to them as Gramma and Grampa too (thus, the capital letter since 'Gramma' and 'Grampa' now stand in stead of any names they may have previously had). It's funny how when you have kids you find yourself referring to absolute relationships as opposed to relative ones. In effect, we have no more relatives. We have absolutes. Sugayo is Mommy, I am Daddy. No matter who is referring to us.

So anyway, Gramma (who I once used to call Mom) brought a gift for Mayumi from Aunt Michalle (who at one point I might have called my sister) and Uncle Jeff (who at one point I have called Juanita, but that's a different much longer story and anyways and I think you get the point already) - a nifty, big, plastic wagon for two. The kids really enjoyed having Gramma and Grampa take them for a spin in the wagon, and at one point Paul was even pulling his sister around. I could almost see the wheels in his head turning like the wheels of the wagon as he got to the top of the hill on our street - Baby, Wagon, Hill...Baby, Wagon, Hill...Push...Baby, Wagon, Hill, Push...The kids really enjoyed having Gramma, Grampa, and Busha (ie, Great-Gramma in Polish) around and both really hammed it up. Paul showed off his pitching ability by striking out Grampa with the whiffle ball, and Mayumi showed off her newfound walking and babbling ability. Paul and Grampa even wrote a wrap song called 'My Name is Paul' which you can find on Paul's Archive page.

As a service to some of you new parents out there, I'm going to relay a few things I've discovered in the past few months in the oh-so-difficult realm of getting your kids to do things you want them to do. In fact, you should be realizing by now that coming up with these little tricks is really what your job is all about. Later, you should consider running for public office.

Eat Broccoli	Say "Look I'm a T-Rex eating a tree" and eat your broccoli.
Eat Anything	Say "Look I'm a T-Rex eating [insert name of appropriate real-world object which - when miniaturized - looks like whatever it is you happen to be eating]. Take my word for it, you don't have to try real hard on this one - just using the word T-Rex will be enough. In fact, broccoli is really about the only 'miniature' food item that really looks like it's make-believe real-world counter part (with the possible and obvious exception of baby corn, but that just doesn't scale. I mean, baby corns would have to be pretty small to fit into the Broccoli/Tree scale.) For example, you could say "Look, I'm a T-Rex eating a car" in order to get your kids to eat mashed potatoes.
Wash Their Hands	Make chucking noises and rub your hands together quickly saying "Look, I'm a squirrel. Are you a squirrel?" while quickly thrusting their hands under the running water as they look at you and say "No, daddy I'm not a squirrel, but if you think you are, that's OK. Don't you need to go work now?"
Wear Their Jammies	Say "Hey [insert name], let's put on your [insert favorite cartoon character/superhero] suit!". Example: "Hey Paul, let's put on your Ultra-man suit. Note to first-timers: unlike the previous examples, you should not try to get your kids to do this by following your example. Trying to squeeze into your three-year old's jammies may result in irreversible physical and psychological damage. This warning does not apply if you actually have your own Ultra-man suit (in which case the aforementioned psychological damage may have already occured. Please consult your doctor.)
Clean up	Sing the Barney clean-up song. That's right, the Barney clean-up song. It's OK if you've never actually heard it, neither have I. But take my word for it, your kids know it. All you have to do is fake together some kind of tune into which to throw the following words... Clean-up! Clean-up! Everybody everywhere! Clean-up! Clean-up! Everybody do their share! It does not matter how much you may have thought you despised Barney in the past, after you see the magical effect this song has on your kids you will be thankful that the clown-around carnosaur was spared the fossilized fate of his biological brothers.