1992 – The Year in Review
When we last we left Mike & Sugayo they were just settling in to their apartment in Ridgewood, New Jersey...Home of WARD'S LIGHTING CENTER – Brighten your holidays with lighting from WARD'S – Remember: ‘If it isn't from WARD'S, It'll probably short out and set your house on fire.’® (This spot paid for by WARD'S)...Mike was beginning a new job working on a bilingual newsletter and Sugayo was beginning to figure out that she'd made a commitment to put up with him.
Well we enjoyed the small-town charm of Ridgewood, complete with a man-made swimming lake and a man-made-duck-make-it-a-duck-and-geese-pond until about March of this year (that's 1992 for those of you reading this after New Years and trying to decide whether you should pitch it or not). At that time a veritable plethora of – er – things, propogated by myriad other – er – things, commenced – er, well – happening. The Japanese economy was finally taught a lesson by the US economy and it learned it so well that marketing dollars for bilingual newsletters became about as plentiful as – well, jobs. So that's what I found myself looking for. Fortunately, I managed to bump into a short, Japanese president of a computer consulting firm at my ice sculpture class. After turning off my chainsaw and handing him the other half of his briefcase he offered me a job. So began my life as a consultant.
con•sul•tant (kçën ţšul' tćnt), n. 1. A person who knows absolutely nothing about the word immediately preceeding this word on their business card (eg., a computer consultant) but who is more than happy to answer any questions on that subject after a given consultation period during which time they can consult with someone who does (cf., guru).
Shortly after this, Sugayo (who had been taking part in Bible studies conducted by a Japanese pastor [who {believe it or don't} was using Bethlehem Lutheran Church in Ridgewood as a missions base] ) was baptized. This has to be marked as one of the happiest, biggest-throat-lump-swallowing days of my life. So with life just chock full o’ new and wondrous things we decided to add one more to the list: A NEW HOUSE! Tell them what their getting, Don Pardo...
You'll look grand parading down the avenue in this lovely little, blue-gray, cape cod. Luxuriously upholstered with Llama wool seat covers, complete with driver and passenger side airbags, and antilock doors. ‘I love what you do for me, Weichert Realtors’.™
Yes, what started out as a little window shopping (that is, literally shopping for windows) ended up quickly blowing every cent, yen, and denarii we had (ah, yes, the denarii – now there's a story; but, alas, I have no space and my nostrils still quiver at the mention of goat cheese). We've given up the small town charm of Ridgewood for the even smaller town (town? village? hamlet? piglet?) charm of Waldwick. (When we told the realtor our price range, at first she laughd, then she cried, then she pulled out some lincoln log and lego catalogs, then finally showed us a picture of what is now our house). Small though it is, the town is quite a nice place full of people who are more than willing to lend you a hand, nostril-hair clippers, or a luxury dinnette. The house is also small but in lovely condition – with the possible exception of the little border stenciled across the top of the living room wall. It looks like this:
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I think it supposed to be cute and country-esque, but these children appear to me to be more than a bit demonic, dancing around the top of the living room wall with hearts they have plucked from their victims. I have a feeling that when we try to paint over them they will keep reappearing through the paint. There are, of course, other things to be done on the house, but we are hard at work ignoring these.
We already have a veritable plethora of – er, beds, sofa beds, and air mattri and you are all (with the exception of those of you who know who you are) cordially invited to drop in any time and enjoy a heaping helping of our hospitality. I've created a sketch, so you will know the house to look for when you come to New Jersey:
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New House in Waldwick, NJ Drawn to actual size |
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Aside from settling in to the new place and reminding me to put my pants on before I catch the bus into the city, Sugayo is currently teaching Japanese to Junior High and High School Students – in Michigan and Ohio! No, she's not making MEGACOMMUTE: THE MOVIE, she's taking advantage of modern technology, namely teleconferencing (that's three tin cans tied to a string). She's using it to turn otherwise normal, overly fashion-conscious High School Students into blithering idiots. Of course, she's well-prepared for this as she is often subjected to phrases like ‘could you tumble end-over-end a-garble-blug?’ standing stead for ‘could you pass the butter?’ when I try to talk to her at the dinner table in Japanese.
What am I doing outside of work? Looking for a new job! Yes it seems that the Japanese economy really did learn it's lesson well and ITL (my current place de trabajo) has decided to close up shop in the US, recoup it's losses, and head back to Japan. I'd like to think I'll find a new job quickly, but imagine the interview process (after I've used the handbuzzer, that is):
| INTERVIEWER: | Why do you want to leave your present company? |
| MIKE: | Because it's closing. |
| INTERVIEWER: | Oh, I see. That's pretty tough, epecially considering you've only been there since (looking at resumé)... |
| MIKE: | March. |
| INTERVIEWER: | Yes. And that was after quitting your job on this bilingual newsletter. Why was that? |
| MIKE: | Ah, the company closed down. |
| INTERVIEWER: | Oh, I see. That's really a stroke of bad luck. Nevertheless, I think we could use a person like you. You seem fairly harmless – aside from the fact that you seem to have wet yourself again. I just need to check with some of your past employers. Do you have the number for this – ah, (looking at resumé) English school? |
| MIKE: | Well, actually, they've closed down too. |
| INTERVIEWER: | Whew! You really have had a tough time of it, haven't you? |
| MIKE: | Yeah – ha,ha – it seems that every company I've worked for ends up closing down – ha, ha, ha... |
| INTERVIEWER: | Yes (joining in the joke) – ha, ha – (stops abruptly) Well, thank you very much for coming in Mr Skorski. We'll get back to you. |
| MIKE: | But (as he's being pushed out the door) you don't even have my phone num– (SLAM!). |
