Hello, my name is Dawn. Welcome to my Geocities site: Sunflowers, Infant loss, and more! I love sunflowers, chocolate and the Smoky Mountains... I have lots of sunflower pictures at my sunflowergal page... I collect sunflower items, ladybugs items, Barbies, stickers for scrapbooking and for envelopes, angels in memory of my babies, angel teddy bears, teddy bears, BOYD figurines and plush, beanies, and cherished teddies... I also love daisies, butterflies, trees, and wildflowers... I like postal cards and ecards... I can spend forever in Hallmark or a card or gift/craft shop... I like country crafts, but I don't make them myself... I work FT at the college computer lab and Meghan fund is like a full time job also... I am happily married to Steve George, and we have 2 pretty angels in heaven and hope to be blessed with a healthy baby here for us to take care of and love one day also... I love the internet, spending time with my husband and family, scrapbooking, and not necessarily in that order... I have more about me at my Sunflowergal page...

We lost our first child to miscarriage January 8, 1997, I named her Cherie, though I never got to see or even hold this baby, she remains in my heart and soul forever... In memory of Cherie, I made a miscarriage page, with a dedication, my story, poems and helpful links on loss for others who have had pregnancy loss... In July of 1997, we were blessed again and became pregnant with Meghan, we got to see and hear her heartbeat, see her looking as a tiny peanut in ultrasound, saw her grow inside of me, as my tummy grew to be quite huge, I didn't mind, I was so proud of my belly as it meant I was having a baby, and when we found out she was a girl, wow we just melted more and fell more in love with our sweet baby, getting her nursery ready, preparing for her in life, etc... I was nervous much of the time cause I had the previous loss and it made me scared I would also lose my new baby... I coped well though with the support of family and friends... My co-workers had a surprise shower for me on a Monday, in Jan 1998, and it was so much fun, all the cute baby things just made me smile and soak in all the joy of a baby... Well that night Meghan didn't move much, and it made me worry but I was having BH contractions so I thought I was over reacting and that Meghan would wake me up as she usually did with a hard kick in the morning... well unfortunately she did not and I worried more, she was always kicking and rolling around in my belly so this wasn't the norm at all, so I did all the chart I was given said to try and make the baby move, it did not work, so I called the drs office and they said to come in, so my husband brought me to the drs office... while I waited I thought about how we had one more child birth class left and a breast-feeding class and wondered would I have Meghan early now cause of this... well then I was called in the the room, and my part of my heart was taken from that moment, they could not find a heartbeat, they rushed me to the ultrasound room, kicking another couple out of the room to get my in there so fast... The terror words next shattered my life and all my hopes for my sweet baby... Her heart has stopped and she has died... I collapsed and wanted to die myself, I sobbed so hard and my husband and nurses helped me to a side office while my husband had to call our parents to relay the terrible news of our loss... My parents were at my side also before I knew it... We had to go straight to the hospital and deliver... That was Tuesday and we made it there around noon... by 1pm I was induced... I had a very long and painful labor, but my family was all there and stuck by me supporting me each moment... I guess my body didn't want to give up my baby so it took what seemed forever... I heard other babies cry and it made me so sad inside, and I thought and hoped that those parents appreciated the miracle and blessing they would get, cause I was informed my baby would not cry... My online friends from March moms, sent me a HUGE beautiful plant and it had a cherub angel sitting on the side of me, and it made me feel more loved and cared about and comforted me some to think that my friends cared so much about me... I felt angels near me and felt as lights of angels surrounded me there... My contractions were very painful, and I was getting very weak because of the long labor, and emotional drain, I got a bad fever and swelled up lots and they worried for my life, and had my parents leave, and my husband stood by my side... 38 long hours later, I delivered Meghan Elizabeth George, at 4 lbs and 1 oz and 19 3/4 inches long, she had black curly hair, a long body, and was more beautiful than I ever imagined, she was perfect in every way, we held her and I checked her toes and fingers (She had my hands), and just could not believe my little girl would never wake up... I held her finger and by the miracle of an angel she held my finger for a moment... she looked as if asleep, a perfect angel baby girl, my husband looked at her and smiled the biggest smile I ever saw him smile ever and said, she is YOU! It broke my heart we would never get to bring her home or hold her again or take care of her or play or hold her or feed her, etc... I was so upset I did not take pictures, and I regret that now for the rest of my life... Thankfully they did take pictures, cause if they didn't rush those pictures they did take, we would have none... They gave us the pictures, and a memory box with her footprints, and a lock of hair and the tiny clothes they had there for us... Leaving the hospital was one of the hardest things I ever did in life, I felt if as if I was leaving my baby and it hurt so bad... Meghan was born still Jan 29, 1998, "too beautiful for this world." In her memory that day, we started Meghan Fund, to give cards and gifts to those with recent pregnancy or infant loss... I also made a memorial webpage for Meghan with my story, my thoughts, poems, a perinatal loss message board, song dedications, some of her few pictures, and links to websites on infant loss, grief, dedications to other babies missed and loved, poems, and more...

We had a memorial service for Meghan at St. Mary's Catholic Church, here is a friend's version of her memorial service.... The days since my loss have not been easy, but we took it a step at a time and I seeked support online through Infanlos and We went to AMEND local support group and both helped us deal with our loss with the addition of supportive family and friends... I cried all day and night for sometime and thought I would never smile or laugh for real again... With time and caring friends I have met, I learned i could smile and laugh again, and that goodness could come from the sadness of our loss... Meghan fund has been going now for over a year, and we made it thru the 3rd anniversary of our 1st loss and the 2nd birthday of Meghan without her in our arms... I am now trying to be positive after loss... I used to be in a small group called PALS which is what I did my first scrapbook page for a project... I have since become hooked on scrapbooking and I am now working on several albums, "a gone but not forgotten" to put poems and pictures in memory of my two angels, grandparents and other loved ones who have passed away, and one for travel, another for wedding, couple pics, travel and another for family pics...

On August 1st after seeing our 3rd baby heartbeat twice and bedrest, we loss of baby trey to miscarriage 8-10-2000. We have 3 special angel babies in heaven now, loved and missed. I always try and do good in their memory in life, my pages and thru Meghan fund. My friend Sharon now helps with Meghan fund and is a true earth angel blessing to me as my friend and also to Meghan fund, she has helped catch us up some and also sent many care packages to those with recent loss of a baby all over the US. See the Meghan fund page to see about a fundraiser we are doing with Current catalog if you are interested in supporting Meghan fund. Also we are in need of 33 cent and 3.20 priority US mail stamps... thanks for taking the time to read about my life, have a nice day!

Dawn's Main Webpage

I love sunflowers webpage and more sunflowers...

Scrap Stuff by Dawn:
scrapbooking, rubberstamping, crafts and related

Free, yes free, Ecards from Sunflowergal with images for pregnancy or infant loss, thanks, wedding, birthday, thanks, hang in there, thinking of you, take care, you are in my thoughts, blank images, anniversary for loss of baby/pregnancy and much more...

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Last updated 2000

© 2000 dawn@sunflowergal.com

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