By Linda S. Koehler
POST writer

"Like an old fashioned handmade quilt, all the pieces when sewn together, are strong and comforting. When needed you can just wrap around you..."

Those are the words of a mother who enjoys quilting but she is also a "Cybermom"; a new breed of mothers.

They are know by their Web page name of "Patchwork" after a patchwork quilt one of the mothers was working on. She came up with the description to explain who they are: Mommies on-line.

They see themselves as women from all over the United States bringing their bright colorful views of motherhood along with the bits and pieces of wisdom they've learned along the way. They are patched together through the technology of the computer and share that comfort and warmth with each other and for anyone else who happens to surf the net and come across this unique friendship.

Two weeks ago, five ladies met for the first time in person, though they had spent almost two years together chatting on the internet. They are part of the 12 in their "Mommy" loop.

Their particular loop consists of moms ranging in age from 25-44. They share their concerns about their 27 children, two "Patchies" twins on the way and 2 grandchildren. The children's ages range from newborn to 25 years.

All 12 wanted to be a part of this historic weekend but one mommy is due with twins, another just recently gave birth, a couple have very small children, and the one from California had a mix-up with her plane reservations.

They met at Pam O'Keefe's home in Saylorsburg. Melissa Burrows came from Jamestown, Rhode Island, Steph Griffin from Godfrey, IL, Kimi McCoy flew in from Louisiana, and Leeann Niccolini came in from Maryland.

"I feel like I have known these women all my life" says Pam as they sit sprawled out over Pam's living room. All five are wearing identical tee-shirts of a patchwork design made by Steph. These ladies want the world to know that good things occur from relationships formed over the internet. "The internet has gotten some bad press lately. We wanted to share the positive aspect we all have received from our relationship," says Pam.

Patchwork, as stated in their statement of purpose, cites: "We help each other through our day-to-day lives with amusing stories, refreshing insights, debated opinions, comfort, and support. There is always someone to turn to when we need a sympathetic ear, a "virtual" hug or a laugh." "Another advantage to e-mail is we don't inconvenience anyone. You send your e-mail when the kids are taking naps, playing, or in school. And then when you have a few moments, you can check your responses at your leisure," says Pam. Pam is a medical transcriber and works at home with her own business, "Just Your Type" and goes on-line when she takes a coffee break. "We send tons of e-mail a day. We talk to each other all the time," says Steph.

Kimi relates how in the beginning she was leery about sharing too much information about herself and for the longest time never gave out her last name. Her mother was very reluctant for Kimi to make the trip to PA to the home of a stranger filled with strangers. "She made me leave Pam's phone number and address with her but I told her that I would trust these women with my life and there was no need for her to worry," says Kimi.

Indeed these women probably know more about each other and their families than the people they live with in their own hometowns. They know each one's husband's names, children's names, ages, school grades, birthdays and anniversaries. When one moms's child gets an A, they all rejoice. When someone comes down with something, there's advice from all corners of the country.

"When my daughter, Trisha, had a severe earache I was like crazy but as soon as I put it on the net, I got all kids of responses with advice of what to do. In fact, Mel went right to her Dr. Spock book and reported back to me," says Pam. "I had a 4-month-old colicky baby and going out of my mind," recalls Leeann. She posted a message to the board and the "response was so overwhelming!" She cites loneliness as a stay-at-home-moms is what drew her to going on-line. "I'm never alone now."

When one mother of the loop learned about another mother's young son's severe hearing loss and how she could not afford the hearing aids, it only took one message on their page to get the word out and before she knew it, the mother had enough funds for the hearing aids.

"We even had an On-line Baby Shower!" says Pam. Invitations went out over the internet, the ladies sent their gifts to a designated moms who then forwarded the box of decorations and gifts to the new mother with directions to go on-line at a specific time. Present whamo, a baby shower on-line.

One expectant mother gave her husband explicit directions that the minute she had the baby, he was to e-mail the others immediately..

"When our mothers were raising children, they had their immediate families all around them. They had other moms in the neighborhood that helped them get through all the things moms have to deal with. Moms of today don't have that luxury," cites Mel. "And I find others who are a little different than me. Maybe I would not have searched out these personalities in real life," says Leeann. "You're not singling people out for what they look like. We're dealing with our feelings and thoughts first," Steph adds. "I believe it has helped me grow as a person. It helps me deal with being a stay-at-home-moms." "You're right!" exclaims Kimi in agreement. "Before I was on-line, I don't want to say I was close-minded about Yankees but I've since made a 180 degree turn about my attitude towards the north."

Kimi speaks with a southern drawl, Mel with a distinct New England accent but they all speak computerese. Listening to the Patchwork group talk is almost like listening to a foreign language. They use each other's computer names and phrases like LOL or DH and they rattle off an ROFLWTIME. "We can't see each other's faces when we talk on-line, see their expressions or hear the tone of voice. It's very important to somehow get emotions into the conversation so we use emoticons," says Pam. LOL means, "Laughing Out Loud. On theat they admit to using a lot is ROFLWTIME - Rolling on the Floor Laughing with Tears in My Eyes. If one uses all caps, "IT MEANS YOU'RE MAD AND YOU'RE YELLING!" says Kimi. There are also symbols they use like: ) to indicate someone is smiling. Another one is : ( to indicate sadness. Or : / looks like "bummer" or things are just so-so. "You spend a little time reading sideways," they laugh as they all kind of cock their heads to the side.

When Pam first went on-line with the group, she saw DH and asked, "what is a DH and do I have one?" After this Patchwork weekend, all the ladies have to answer emphatically, Pam does indeed have a very Dear Husband. In order to be totally free of responsibilities for the weekend, Pam's two children spent the weekend with her in-laws. Her husband, Danny, became "Cabana Man". From the time he walked in Friday night from work, he catered to the ladies. He made dinner, breakfast, lunch and when they decided they were hungry for a shrimp feast platter from Red Lobster, it was Danny that drove to Allentown to get it for them. "When we went in the hot tub, he ran and got us drinks. So he got the nickname, Cabana Man. The girls were just amazed that he was so willing to cater to us. He enjoyed watching me interact with these people. He wants them all to come back again," says Pam.

There are souvenirs of the weekend. Besides the tee-shirts Steph made for each, Mel brought each one a decorative tile that her grandmother makes. Kimi gave everyone a peroration boat, "Like the ones they use in the Louisiana bayous," filled with replicas of voodoo dolls, alligators, moss and hot sauce.

Pam had a welcome sign strung across her garage doors. Once inside, each guest received a "goodie bag" contain a personalized mousepad, personalized cup, and a monogrammed towel "for the hot tub".

There's also a video. Pam's children videotaped a warm welcome to the Patchwork group but it was Danny who taped much of the weekend. "I think we've watched it 10 times already," says Pam. Perhaps she is storing these new dear faces to memory so when on-line she now has a mental picture to go with the e-mail messages.

When asked what Patchwork has come to mean to them, Mel quickly responds, "Its a wonderful friendship. The support is phenomenal. Plus, I wanted to meet these people so bad that I drove here from Rhode Island. It's the furthest I've ever driven by myself. I'm proud of that." "I find Patchwork has been very enriching to me as a person. I've been made a better person because of my association with these people. I've become more compassionate. I can not imagine not having these people in my life," says Leeann. "Gosh, me too," echoes Kimi. "I must have been bored to death before Patchwork!"

Try to envision the quilting bees of a by-gone era. The comradery, the gossip, the sharing of one mother's advice with another as their needles plied careful stitch after stitch, forming intricate patterns piecing scraps of material together, forming a bond as well as a beautiful quilt. Patchwork has just taken that image into another dimension. Each word that appears on the screen is like stitch after stitch, weaving thoughts, webbing out to each corner of the word, gathering mommies closer together, bonding in a way their grandmothers could never have dreamed of. But a quilt is a quilt, comforting and warm, no matter what material pieced it together. Patchwork calls it friendship.

If interested in what these "cybermoms" are saying on their Patchwork Page, they invite you to look them up on http://www.oocities.org/Heartland/6831. This site will provide information about the group with poems, stories, a prayer page, free virtual post cards and an area for other mothers to leave short bios in the hopes of forming similar friendships.

Another article from THE POCONO POST - July 11-17, 1997

COUNTRY CUPBOARD
Linda Koehler

A Patchwork Meal

Pam O'Keefe of Saylorsburg admits she does not like to cook. But she loves cooking up conversations with her friends on the internet. She is part of a loop of 12 mothers who call themselves Patchwork. (See this week's Homefront.)

Five of them met for the first time in Pam's home two weeks ago. I had the privilege of interviewing them. They were from Maryland, Rhode Island, Louisiana and Illinois. I thought it might be fun if I got a recipe from each of them that kind of represents the part of the country that they come from.

They were all eager to submit their favorite recipes and hope you will try and enjoy them. They decided they would call it a Patchwork Meal: bits and pieces from each of them.

But Pam was the hostess of this little gathering and I got to talk to her a little more in depth than with the others.

She was born in Maryland and raised in San Antonio, Texas. When she was 16, her family moved to Parsippany, N.J. It was while attending high school in New Jersey that she met a young many by the name of Danny O'Keefe. "We were high school sweethearts. There was never any one else for either of us after we met," Pam recalls.

After graduation, Pam returned to Texas for one semester of college but couldn't stand being separated from Danny. When she came home, he proposed. She said "Yes" of course but first she went on to school and graduated from Dover Business College with a degree as a medical secretary.

Pam and Danny will be married 17 years in September. "Our bedroom is like a shrine of our togetherness. I have pictures framed of our senior prom, our engagement, our wedding and other photos of us," she laughs. The O'Keefes have two children, Trisha 12, and Nick, 8.

Pam worked for a pharmaceutical company for 10 years and then the O'Keefe's moved to the West End. After the birth of their son, Nick, she no longer commuted to NJ but the company gave her work she could do at home. "It developed into doing some medical transcripts for area doctors from my home. So, I quit my job and started my own business, ‘Just Your Type'. It works out great being here for the kids," she says. In fact, that's how she met her Patchwork friends by spending her "coffee breaks" on-line.

When Pam isn't transcribing or chatting on-line, she likes to find a quiet corner and compose poetry. Her many creative writing courses have paid off, because she has had one of her poems "Out in the Country" published and says her husband, parents and friends often get gifts of her poetry. "And I still think there's a novel in me," she says.

Her family loves hamming it up with their karaoke machine with Broadway tunes and Pop songs. Pam relives some old memories when she takes the kids fishing. "My dad's a big fisherman and he passed his love of it to me and I'm passing it on to my kids."

Sunday's are a very traditional family day with everyone home for a pot roast dinner, which her husband cooks. "I love to bake, but I don't enjoy cooking. Thank God Danny does. He cooks almost all the meals. I'm like the Peg Bundy of the Poconos," she laughs.

So, from the Poconos to the bayous of Louisiana to the New England coast to the midwest, we bring to you, a Patchwork meal. Enjoy!

CLAM CHOWDER
By Melissa Burrows from Rhode Island

˝ lb. salt pork, chopped small
1 cup chopped onions
6 cups potatoes, bite size chunks
2 cups quahogs (clams) with the juice - chopped

Fry salt pork until crispy, remove from fat, add onions and brown well. Boil potatoes, then add salt pork, onion and quahogs with juice to pot. Cook at medium heat for @ 15 minutes. Serve as is or add milk to bowl. Great with oyster crackers or saltines, broken into pieces.

CLAM CAKES
By Melissa Burrows

2 eggs -beaten light
1 cup quahogs - chopped (clams)
1 tsp. salt
1/8 tsp. pepper
1 cup milk
2 cups flour
3 tsp. baking powder

Mix ingredients in order given and fry in deep fat until golden brown. It is important to keep the fat about 375 degrees.

RECIPE FOR CANADIAN GOOSE
By Melissa Burrows

1 goose
1 brick

Place brick inside Canadian goose cavity. Roast at 350 degrees until done. Take the brick out, throw away the goose and eat the brick. : ) This is the internet symbol for someone smiling, so you know this is a joke.

PASTA CON BROCCOLI
From Steph Griffin, Illinois
This recipe tastes like one of my favorite recipes from our local Pasta House but has a mere fraction of the fat!

8 oz large shell pasta
1 seasoning packet of Alfredo sauce
1/4 cup milk
2-3 tbsp. Tomato sauce or a prepared marinara sauce
4 oz. Sliced mushrooms
4-6 ox. Cooked broccoli
2-3 cloves of fresh minced garlic

Prepare pasta according to package. Prepare Alfredo sauce according to package and add 1/4 cup milk and the tomato sauce, mushrooms, broccoli and garlic. Add your prepared sauce to your cooked and drained pasta and top it with Parmesan cheese. Yummy! Be sure to serve it with some type of bread. This is very quick because those seasoning mixes for the sauce usually take less than 10 minutes total.

PATCHWORK CASSEROLE
By Leeann Niccolini, Maryland

1 lb. ground beef
one package sloppy joe dry seasoning
1 can tomato soup, undiluted
1 cup water
2 cups cooked macaroni or rotini
2 cups grated cheddar cheese

Brown and drain beef (you may also use a meat substitute like Harvest Burger for Recipes-- it tastes just as good and is fat free.)

Mix together all ingredients except the cheese. Grease or spray casserole dish (minimum 2 quart). Fill halfway with mixture, then add a layer of cheese. Repeat once more. Bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes or until bubbly.

LOUISIANA RED BEANS AND RICE
By Kimi McCoy, Louisiana

1 lb. red kidney beans
1 meaty ham bone
2 large onions, chopped
1 bell pepper, chopped
2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
salt and pepper to taste
pinch of sugar
1 bay leaf ( optional)
2 lbs. Owen's spicy sausage links
1/4 cup parsley, chopped
Rice

Soak beans overnight. Rinse. Cover with water and cook with ham bone. (fat trimmed off), onions, bell pepper, garlic, salt, pepper, sugar and bay leaf. While beans are cooking, boil sausage in skillet. Drain, fry until crisp, and set aside. Cook beans until fork tender; then add fried sausage. Just before serving, remove bay leaf and add parsley. Serve over rice. Serves 8. Serve with mustard greens and corn bread - A South Louisiana specialty

PAM'S "DID YOU BRING THEM?" LEMON BARS
By Pam O'Keefe
"Whenever I go somewhere, people ask, ‘Did you bring your lemon bars?" says Pam

2 cups flour
1 cup softened butter
˝ cup powdered sugar
4 eggs, beaten
2 cups sugar
˝ cup lemon juice
1/4 cup flour
1 teaspoon baking powder