I had it all figured out. We were going to have a baby right around our third anniversary, in June of 1998. I would have a smooth, easy pregnancy, glowing with health and happiness. Since I was quite sure that morning sickness was all psychological, I would not have even a day of it. I would have a nice natural labor, no interventions, and that would be that! Then reality happened.
It took us ten months, but on August 31, 1998, I finally found out that I was pregnant! On the morning of September 1, I threw up everything but the kitchen sink. I reminded myself for about the first week that it was all in my head - I wasn’t really sick! I gave that up pretty quickly; I proceeded to have morning-noon-and-night sickness for the next four months. I lost a total of twelve pounds and had an overnight stay in the hospital for dehydration. Finally, somewhere in the sixth month I started getting significantly better, and by the seventh month I was fine.
One day in my eighth month, I woke up with elephant ankles. I turned out to have PIH (pregnancy-induced hypertension), a precursor to preeclampsia. I watched my protein and water intake carefully for the next month, but by the last few weeks of my pregnancy, I was on partial bedrest and limited activity the rest of the time. A few exciting episodes of Braxton-Hicks didn’t result in labor. By my due date, I had what appeared to be about a 15-pound water weight gain, and we decided to induce.
When I got to the hospital on April 27, I discovered that the preeclampsia meant that I wouldn’t be able to move around and try different labor positions like we had practiced in our Bradley classes. Somehow that was the last straw, and I just laid there and cried. My midwife encouraged me to take a little time to grieve the total loss of my careful plans, which I really appreciated. By this time I realized that Plan A was completely down the drain, and I decided to just work with what I had.
The midwife started with a cervical gel that night, added another one in the morning, and broke my water around 10:00 a.m.. In spite of my limited positions for labor in the bed, I ended up being able to labor in the hospital’s Jacuzzi tubs for quite a bit of it. After the months of illness and enforced rest, it felt so good to be DOING something. My midwife gave me a partial dose of Stadol at transition, and then reversed it almost as soon as it took effect since I had hit the pushing stage. I started pushing around 5:30 p.m., and I have to say that was one of the most exciting times of my life. I was a little loopy from the Stadol still, and I kept forgetting to keep my knees back, but that was the only side effect that I noticed. I had wanted an unmedicated birth, which our Bradley classes helped us prepare for, but just having the edge taken off the transition contractions really was worth the change in plans.
At 6:36 p.m., my sweet little Mary Elisabeth Grace came into the world, yelling at the top of her little lungs. Indescribable! My midwife had me deliver on my side to reduce the need for an episiotomy, and I had a slight tear, requiring just a couple of stitches. I was so glad to not have to deal with the episiotomy! I had to be treated for the preeclampsia right away, and the side effects of the medication were by far the worst part of the experience; I was so physically weak from it that I couldn’t turn over in bed for two days. Eventually we got home - no more, “Good morning, it’s 3 a.m. and we wanted to see what your blood pressure was. Oh - you were sleeping for the first time in 48 hours? Bummer!”
Nursing is going beautifully after a truly wretched start. It is really worth sticking with it, no matter how impossible it seems. I apparently came up to the mother-baby unit with a note to the nurses that I was “quite adamant” about not giving Mary formula. I insisted on expressing my own milk, even though she couldn’t latch on. As a result, she has never yet had anything but her mother’s milk.
![[Mary]](mary.jpg)
Almost nothing happened the way I planned, but it really didn’t matter in the long run. After all, I still am a mommy! I really feel that the preparation I did made me much more able to deal with the birth I ended up having, even though it was not what I had imagined. Mary is doing great as I write - happy, healthy, and beautiful! She is such a blessing from God! I am even starting to consider the possibility that Mary might, someday, if she prays very hard, have a sibling.
Copyright 1999 by author
Used by permission
Story published September 13, 1999
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