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My Thoughts on Potty Training

According to the book Caring for Your Baby and Young Child: Birth to Age 5 a Child Care Book from the American Academy of Pediatrics, "...pushing him too early, before he is ready, may actually prolong the process. Studies indicate that many children who begin training before eighteen months are not completely trained until after age four. By contrast, most of those who start around age two are completely trained before their third birthdays." (pg 309)

Ellen is 24 months old, and I have not tried to potty train her. I am going to try to wait until she is *really* ready. I have heard too many problems with children being forced to sit on the toilet, and it becomes a big struggle. I know Ellen, and if she didn't want to do it, she wouldn't! I don't want it to be a big time of stress for either one of us... that is why I am waiting.

She has asked several times in the past couple months to sit on the toilet, so I let her, but she seems to be over that desire right now... so we'll wait! To be continued... :)

Update at 37 Months

She decided she would start trying to use the potty when I offered to bring the little potty chair into the room where she was so she would be able to watch her tv show or be in the same room with us. We did that a few times, but then she decided she wanted to use the big potty; I gave her a stool to put her feet on. She also wanted to wear "pretty undies."

I bought her some pretty undies, and she loves wearing them. She has only had two accidents in the day so far, and it's been four weeks. One accident happened two days after she started wearing them. She was busy dancing to some music. The second time was when she went a really long time without going, yet insisted adamantly that she didn't have to go. :) She still wears diapers at night, though, because she often wakes up wet.

She potty trained herself a couple weeks after the birth of our new little baby. We mostly stayed home for over a month, so we were always near a potty when she needed to go. I think that helped. At first I often reminded her to go potty, but after about a week she started going on her own! Now she says, "I have to go potty!" Sometimes she goes in the bathroom without even telling me and goes potty all by herself!

It was truly *her* accomplishment. She looks so proud and happy after she goes potty. I'm very proud of her, too! :D

Suggestions

• Bring the potty chair into the room your child is in.
• If your child wants to use the big potty, give him a stool to put his feet on.
• When the toilet is flushed, encourage your child to say "bye-bye" to the poo poo and pee pee. (I know! It's sounds kinda silly, but...)
• Give your child a book to read or read him a book while he sits on the potty.
• Realize that when you ask your child if he has to go potty, sometimes he will probably say "no" even if he has to go. If it's been awhile since he has gone, and you'd like him to try, word it differently. For example, you could say, "We'll go outside after you go potty." Or "I have to go potty. Do you want to go first, or should I?"
• Reassure him that it's okay if he doesn't actually go, but that you want him to try.

Your Thoughts, Experiences, and Suggestions

I just wanted to let you know something that I have noticed about potty training. (I am a daycare provider, with most of my experience being toddlers.) Anyway, I have noticed that children almost always show an interest in the potty then LOSE it! The second time they show an interest in the potty seems to be when they actually get trained. It hasn't mattered how old they are, I have seen this patern over and over again!

sent in by Jenn

My son, Zac, is now 20 months old. Ever since he was born, Zac would accompany me to the restroom whenever I needed to go as long as he was awake. As he got older and mobile, I allowed him to play close by so I could keep my eye on him.

Zac inherited his cousins' potty chair when he was about a year old but I never took it out. Before he was 14 months, he pointed to the toilet, requesting to sit on it. I complied. First with his pants on until he tried to pull them off. He felt very comfortable with the process. As soon as he turned 14 months, I realized that I better get his potty chair ready for him. As soon as I sat him on his own chair, we tinkled. Well, was I surprised!

As the weeks passed, he became more proficient and excited about using the potty chair. Only problem: he had difficulty in communicating his needs. Since I was the only one diligently asking him if he needed to go potty, I was the only one who got consistent results. Because he is 20 months old, he has also learned that by saying 'no' when asked to go potty, his daycare provider will not put him on the toilet. However, I do know he is fully capable of being trained because when he does want to go on the toilet or his chair, he will at least tinkle a little drop (especially if he just went in the toilet a half hour before! a game to him). And he has great bowel control because his dad may catch him starting to grunt: "Zac, do you have to go potty?" Zac will rush to the toilet and complete his bowel movement. Or he will tell me "More"--grasping the back end of his diaper (about 15 minutes after a tinkle) to let me know he has to go potty.

For Zac's prize: lots of praise (during and after), saying ba-bye to the potty as it is flushed, and washing his hands. However, he now occasionally brings a small toy to occupy him while he is having a bowel movement. Although he is not 100% potty trained, he is very close to it. Only wish that every one involved in his upbringing will help with the training!

My suggestions:

1. Do not be shy about using the restroom in front of your child. Going to the restroom is a natural daily occurrence that the toddler will need to accomplish soon.

2. However, do not rush the child. Your child will tell you somehow when he/she is ready to be trained. My son walked me over to the bathroom and pointed to the toilet. I asked if he wanted to go and he nodded.

3. Do not expect immediate gratification. My son just sat on the toilet for the first couple of times. Then he would get his diaper put on, only needing to be changed within minutes. As time goes by, your child will learn. It has been noted in many books that a child should not be potty trained until he learns to communicate his needs and he has muscular control - they say about age 18 months - although, in some countries, potty training could begin as early as a few months of age. Let your child tell you when he/she is ready. Do not force the issue because it could have adverse results.

4. When you decide to really train the child, make sure everyone involved in his/her care (dad, daycare provider) supports you and your method. It does not reinforce the elimination process when mom is training but dad is waiting for the child to dirty the diaper.

5. Also, be consistent: do not train him one day then keep him in his diapers the next, just because you are out shopping or visiting friends/relatives.

Best of luck!

sent in by Eileen

Links to Other Sites

Kids Won't Be in Diapers Forever! by Marnie Larsen Ko.
Toilet Training This page has many resources on the net about this subject.
Erika and the Potty Article from the S.A.M. Newsletter; a mom shares what happened when she tried to "potty train in a day."
Is your baby ready to potty train? (On the WeeBees website)
Toilet Training by Carolyn Waterbury-Tieman

"Parents get into the most trouble when they try to control the three things they cannot control - their child's eating, sleeping, and elimination. Our job is to be sure we provide appropriate opportunities for our children to meet these fundamental physical needs." ~ Carolyn Waterbury-Tieman

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