Why Do You Nurse A Toddler???
A Toddler Nursing Testimonial
By Laurie Flanagan, mom to nursling Kevin, 16 mos.
I always knew I would breastfeed Kevin. There was no other option in my mind or heart, ever. Now, at 16 mos., I can confidently say that nursing my child is the most deeply satisfying experience in my entire life. I have never been a very self-assured person; yet I know I am an outstanding mother and nursing plays a key role in that perception. Nursing was excruciatingly difficult for us at the beginning. Kevin had tremendous latch-on difficulties. Many people were "helping" by reminding me that there were "alternatives" -- i.e., formula -- but I never gave up. Through sleepless nights, buckets of tears and frightening worry, Kevin and I persevered and succeeded. Never in my life have I been so committed and determined to succeed at anything. I am proud of myself.
I love nursing Kevin for the many benefits we both receive. As for Kevin, he has never been sick (ever...honestly!), is a wonderfully good-natured child, and is independent, loving, affectionate, funny, intelligent and calm. His security in my love for him is absolute, and this extends other facets of his life. He is attached and safe and sees the world as a loving, nurturing place. I believe that the closeness of breastfeeding, from the hour of his birth, fosters this. For me, the benefits are highly emotional. Nursing allows me to give of myself. When Kevin is teething and uncomfortable, or over-extended and unhappy, nursing calms him instantly. I can watch the peace settle over him. Only I can help him in this way. Nursing makes me feel good about myself.
I have recently been rewarded with one of the special joys of toddler nursing...Kevin now asks to nurse! He touches my breasts lightly and says, "nuk." It is charming.
I allow Kevin to nurse on demand day and night. I don't really know how often he nurses during the day...I stopped counting ages ago. Every day is different. Kevin is a voracious teether...he got his first 8 teeth in 9 weeks and is experiencing the same thing now, with eyeteeth and first molars. During an intense teething phase, Kevin eats very, very little solid food and nurses every 2-3 hours during the day. He may go 4-6 hours if we can get him to take a snack or small meal. At night, he nurses 1-3 times, depending again on the teething situation. An average, non-teething night has us nursing only once in 11-12 hours. We are a co-sleeping family also...a perfect compliment to breastfeeding, in my opinion.
Kevin is at a unique time in his life, and nursing is both nutrition and comfort. When all of these teeth finally come in, I expect he will accept solids again and nursing will return to a minimum: first thing in the morning, at naptime, a late-afternoon snack, then finally at bed. For the time being, though, I don't know what I'd do without nursing. I rely on my milk to nourish him when no other foods appeal to him.
My goal is for Kevin to self-wean. I'll probably use the "don't offer, don't refuse" method suggested by the LLL. Whatever I do, though, my mother-in-law will freak out...she already is!!!
I remember when Kevin was 6 months old. I read that some babies suddenly self-wean when solids are introduced. I lived in daily fear of this and offered solids half-heartedly (and on most weekdays not at all...when Daddy was at work!). I'm grateful that we've successfully become a toddler nursing couple. I know that my commitment to Kevin is reaping the emotional and physical benefits I knew it would.
Laurie Flanagan, mom to nursling Kevin, 16 mos.
Nursing a Toddler
I had always tried to follow my mother's "one day at a time" advice, but when I found myself in an area of mothering in which she had no experience I had to look in my own heart. I am currently tandem nursing a 5 month old and a 36 month old. My reasons for extended breastfeeding include nutrition, food allergies, hospitalization,
frequent and irregular separation from Daddy (military), my own
personal feelings, and the high need child I have. I can't think of a time when it would have been appropriate to "wean," as there was always something major going on. So I just kept on, as nursing seemed to be the only constant. Even when my milk dried up at 5 months pregnant, and I asked him why, he looked up at me with his big eyes and said "I just want to suck." Sometimes I forget how nursing seems to solve so many toddler needs--especially those which concern his/her developing emotions--and I want to call it quits, but that is like quitting on motherhood--I am in for the long haul and thank goodness I have this wonderful way to comfort my child! I plan on him weaning me, not the other way around, but it sure is a challenging road!
Cindy
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