Bill Clinton awoke in a hospital bed after a terrible accident, and
found that the curtains were drawn around him. He asked the nurse why are
the curtains closed, "Is it night?" A nurse replied, "No, it is just that
there is a huge fire across the street, and we didn't want you waking up and 
thinking that you were dead... 
*** 
Bill and Hillary are at the first baseball game of the season.
Suddenly Clinton grabs Hillary by the collar and throws her over the side and
onto the field. The stunned umpire shouted, "No, Mr. President! I said,
Throw the first PITCH!" 
*** 
Bill and Hillary are at a restaurant. The waiter told them the night's 
special was chicken almondine and fresh fish. "The chicken sounds
good; I'll have that," Hillary said. The waiter nodded, "And the vegetable?" 
"Oh, He'll have the fish," Hillary replied. 
*** 
Bill and Hillary are on a sinking boat. Who gets saved? The nation. 
*** 
What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a dishonest
lawyer? 

Chelsea 
*** 
What does Bill say to Hillary after having sex? "Honey, I'll be home 
in 20 minutes." 
*** 
Clinton was looking out of the window and he noticed that someone had 
urinated the message, "BILL SUCKS!" on a wall outside the White House. 
Furious, he ordered the FBI to take urine and handwriting samples from 
every member of the White House staff and find the culprit
immediately. A week later, the FBI director called, "Mr. President, I have good
news and bad news," he stated. "The good news is that the urine belongs to
Gore." "And the bad news?" Clinton demanded. After a slight pause, the
director replied, " Sir, the handwriting belongs to your wife!" 
*** 
Clinton returned from vacation in Arkansas and walked down the steps
of Air Force One with two pigs under his arms. At the bottom of the
stairs, the honor guardsman stepped forward and remarked, "Nice pigs, 
Mr. President." 
Clinton replied, "I'll have you know that these are genuine Arkansas 
Razor Back Hogs. I got this one for Chelsea and this one for Hillary.
So, now what do you think?" The honor guardsman answered, "Nice trade, Sir."