>> A COLLECTIVE FROM ACTUAL MEDICAL INTERVIEW RECORDS WRITTEN BY VARIOUS >> PARAMEDICS, EMERGENCY ROOM RECEPTIONISTS, AND (WE ARE AFRAID) A DOCTOR >> OR TWO AT MAJOR HOSPITALS. >> >> - The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the >> pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately. >> >> - Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized. >> >> - The skin was moist and dry. >> >> - Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid. >> >> - The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. >> >> - She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until >> 1989 when she got a divorce. >> >> - Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant. >> >> - The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane >> ran out of gas and crashed. >> >> - I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical >> therapy. >> >> - The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who >> is presently enrolled in day care three times a week. >> >> - Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los >> Angeles. >> >> - Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation. >> >> - She is numb from her toes down. >> >> - Exam of genitalia was completely negative except for the right foot. >> >> - While in the emergency room she was examined, X-rated, and sent home. >> >> - The lab test indicated abnormal lover function. >> >> - Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches. >> >> - Coming from Detroit, this man has no children. >> >> - Examination reveals a well-developed male lying in bed with his family >> in no distress. >> >> - Patient was alert and unresponsive. >> >> - When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room. >> >> - The patient was to have a bowel resection. However he took a job as >> a stockbroker instead.
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