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Cowchip/AL Society Section

FAMOUS PEOPLE OF COWCHIP/AL

Two Views Of Our Mayor

Tom Bowerman

Mayor of Cowchip, Alabama 36208-8888

• Master of Liberty Ship: SS COWCHIP anchored at Virgin Island in Lake Jake.

• Largest single customer of Three Virgin Scuppernong Wine. Uses the delicious produk to purchase votes to remain Mayor of Cowchip.

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• Can usually be found on Cowchip Big Plop Golf Course alongside Lake Jake or in an upstairs room at the Cowchip Lodge.

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• In a heroic and pioneering effort, he helped convert the SS COWCHIP to a spaceship and piloted it to Venus and back, using the RYO waterbed pilot control center. Assisted in converting the spaceship back to a Liberty Ship.

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• Exercises control over Cowchip Police Department and Judge. Prisoner home visitations handled quietly. Has Power of Pardon. Reasonable prices for good people (those with funds.) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

• Signs all documents needed by RYO for profitable operations.

Civilian picture as Mayor and Uniformed picture as Master of SS COWCHIP.

Tom Bowerman Home Page

Publik Service Announcement follows:

Physical fitness is so important

these days. Try this one for health!

Publik Service Announcement Donated By The RYO Corporation

Alex Gorbochev, (probably not his real last name) is currently serving as the Port Captain of the vast RYO Corporation Shipyard located on rustic Lake Jake and has received many awards from the corporation as well as outside entities for excellence in Port Captainry. Recently, he personally guided in the freighter, the Kobayishi Maru (75,000 Metric Tons), which was blown off course by a fierce gale, in a small flat bottom boat, powered only by a 9.9 horsepower, two stroke, overhead valve, twin cam engine, which is reasonably priced and is carried by many of your larger department stores and produced by the RYO Corporation Boat Motor Division. For this heroic action he received more awards.
Alex is a Russian born emigre' who was recruited by a certain agency of the former Soviet Union as a spy. His duties included keeping tabs on the RYO Corporation, headquarted in beautiful Cowchip/AL. He also was assigned to scout out locations in and around Cowchip/AL where the former Soviet Union could drop atomic bombs in case of war. He also received many awards for this including the prestigious "Bombs Away Leadership Award"

Fortunately for Alex, he was detected by the Counter Intelligence Unit of the RYO Corporation when he failed to ask for seconds of Miss Minnie's Apple Pie, at an RYO BBQ. Most Russians do not eat apple pie. It was fortunate because he was recruited by the RYO Corporation as a salesman for their world famous ***Norm's Three Virgins Scuppernong Wine***, a delicious beverage that is right for all occasions. When, later, he returned home, he was the top foreign wine salesman two years running. So much so, in fact that ***Norms Three Virgins Scuppernong Wine*** threatens to surpass Vodka as the number one drink in Russia.

After the Soviet Union broke up Alex was laid off from his spy job and chose to take the full time job as Port Captain at the RYO Shipping Complex, but before leaving his mother country did a bit of recruiting himself, assigning the beautiful and gracious Olga as his first mate. They share the same berth when in dry dock. Alex's motto and creed is: Down The Hatchski, and Damn The Torpedos, Full Speed Ahead. The citizens of Cowchip/AL sleep better at night knowing this fine person is steady as she goes at the helm! Congrats, citizen Alex.

FLAG OFRUSSIA

In his own words, Alex Gorbochev tells the whole world how proud he is to be a member of the RYO Team. Please read carefully, and with pride.

Miz Jasmine

Owner of the Cowchip/AL Boarding House catering only to women and men of high moral repute. Rooms available daily, monthly, yearly, hourly.

Miz Jasmine is a daughter of a little-known wildcatter who spent years in the oil fields of Oklahoma. Her mother was half-Cherokee. The legacy her parents left her was nil, since she was the youngest of a large brood of siblings.
Making her own way through the world, she found a calling that seemed to be her forte. She could cook well, and was always making new friends of anyone that came across her path. One day, she stumbled across ole man Jericho. He sat alone in the city park one day, an object of despair. He told her he was alone and had no family, no place to go and nothing to do. He was at his wit's end and was ready to call it quits with life. Miz Jas felt a huge sense of compassion crawl across her soul as she listened to the old man tell his tale. She put her arms around his frail shoulders and told him to let her take care of him. He realized she was sincere, so he took her home with him to his three story house in the seedier section of the town. After a few months, ole man Jericho passed away, but not before he revised his will to leave Miz Jas his house and all the belongings he had in the world. That is how she came to live in the old part of town. As time went by, she became aware she wuz running out of money, and had to decide what to do. She only had certain talents that she could make use of that could bring her any kind of income. The rooms on the second floor of the old house were plenty enough to rent out, and she could cook, so she decided to have her own rooming house, and provided boarding as well. Of course, the third floor was reserved for herself. This is where she spent her spare time...cooking, sewing, any of her other hobbies. Of course, she realized she could not garner enough of an income from her needlepoint to accommodate herself in the fashion she had become accustomed, so she began the Cowchip/AL Boarding House. Catering to men and women of quality, the boarding house, one of Cowchip/AL's oldest institutions is open 24 hours daily for the rest and enjoyment of her customers. She provides towels, complimentary jar of ***Norm's Three Virgins Scuppernong Wine***, and all other necessities for the weary traveler, as well as permanent guests. Included in your stay is a complimentary pass to the special gymnasium featuring all manner of workout equipment crafted from pure grain leather, and free TV including several channels unavailable elsewhere in the state. It is a popular rest facility for the employees of the RYO Corporation, headquartered in downtown Cowchip/AL. Even Norm, the RYO Corporation Owner/CEO is reputed to rest there occasionally. Call for appointment.

Ms. Vicky's Custom Jewelry Shoppe offers custom made jewelry at affordable prices. If you see something you like in the catalog, bring it to her. She can locate the exact jewels you like..... If you see someone wearing something you like, make a note of their tag or house number, and Ms. Vicky can get that for you too.
Like many of Cowchip/Al's finest citizens, Ms. Vicky is also a transplant to our historic community. She came to town on that very first banana boat a few years ago and loved our community so much, she decided to stay. Her first job was with the RYO Lounge as a waitress. Later, she assumed certain duties upstairs where she excelled. In 1989 she took a job as recreational director of the Upstairs Room at the famous RYO Lodge. She did so well there, that after the Lodge was destroyed in a nuclear incident, (The surplus nuclear reactor used for power generation at the Lodge slung a rod and went super critical) she opened up her Jewelry store in beautiful downtown Cowchip/AL. She has a world-wide following thanks to her duties at the RYO Lodge, and now, as the chosen jeweler of world renowned people. The RYO Corporation buys all their Christmas presents there. Our community owes its thanks, hearty and generous to our fine townspeople, and Ms. Vicky embodies the spirit of Cowchip/AL. We salute you.

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