There was pain! Too much missed schooling, and loss of excellent paying jobs because of missed work, all due to Tony's court trials. The pain of the court trials themselves, the hurt of repeating what had happened to a court room of total strangers. Through this all, we actually found no support from family, friends or strangers, our only support came from God. It seems as though Tonys crime on our family was making us pay daily. For his enjoyment, we lived in our own private hell. Jason went into the army and was stationed at Ft. Hood. Ken and I had remained in Colorado where we had run to because of death threats on us. Death threats from Tony's followers for testifying against him. About a year later, God spoke to me and told me to trust Him, that His ways and thoughts were higher than mine and it was time to go home. We loaded up two vehicles and headed to Texas. We arrived with $60.00 dollars left to our name, and no where to go. LISTENING to God, he provided miracle after miracle. We were sitting in a restaurant, dirty, tired and broke. A total stranger came up and said God had told him to help us. This stranger, after an hour conversation, sponsored us in the Poxton house on the army base. The next day, he came back and told me to go find a place to live. This was not easy for me to believe, I had to trust again. This man paid for two months rent on a place to live, and never asked for a thing in return. The next day, God blessed me with a job in a hair salon. I was accepted without my license, and able to work until my license was transfered. Ken and Jay went out one night, and Ken started talking to this young college student, and full time worker. This young lady was to become Jay's wife. In the meantime, I had switched jobs to doing something else I had always wanted to do, work in an old fashion barber shop. One day I looked up and a man had walked in and sat down at the other barber's chair. He said, "How are you, young lady." I didn't even look at him, but just said "Ok." As he left, I looked at Ricky and said, "I am going to marry that man one day!" Ricky laughed at me and said, "Girl, you are crazy!" One year and four months later this gentleman and I were married. He later told me that early that "first" morning, God had told him to go get a hair cut. When he asked why, God told him "There is a young lady there that is yours." On October 28, I bought the shop that I was working in. November 11th, just two weeks later, a young man walked into the shop, robbed and beat me up. I lost everything again. Another Lemon? .... Another Why God? .... No, by now I knew that God would indeed make the crooked paths straight for me. More court trials, pain, surgery and rehabilitaion. Another opportunity to feel hate, angry, bitterness? NO, another opportunity for God to show His glory. Jay is happily married, Ken is laughing again, and me? I now get to be a full time wife, mother of two fine men, chaplain and just enjoy my life. Do we remember? YES! YES! YES! The young robber left me totally disabled, yet each time I hurt, I choose to forgive him, just as we chose to forgive Tony. Each and every day I CHOOSE to cast down the thoughts of the rapes of my sons, the robbery and anger. Each time we fight another one of Tony's parole board hearings, I cast down the anger choosing instead to direct it towards keeping Tony in prison. Is it wrong to be a christian and fight Tonys parole? NO! The bible says to expose sin. "Hate sin but not the sinner." I now stand with evil thrives when good men do nothing. I try to use wisdom in all I do. I listen to God. He has proven that He could handle it all and make the crooked paths straight. If Tony repented, accepted what he had done, and publicly announced that he did do this, would I fight his parole? No. I would have to stand on this Fear not what man can do to you. It takes a long time to reach this stage. Forgiveness as Christ has forgiven you. But you CAN GET THERE! I have lived this horror. If you need some one to talk to, to cry with you, or to scream at, email me. I will walk this path with you. Please remember .... You don't have to suffer alone! If you are suffering, please email me, I would love to help. Click on my to email me. Home        Links & Credits        Awards        Webrings Background designed exclusively for: "There is a Path ...." Not for Public Domain, nor to be included in any Graphics Collections. "There is a Path ... " Site designed by: Cheralyn Maturi aka Rosebud This page hosted by   Get your own Free Home Page