Signs For The Stupid

Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm
Stupid". That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You
wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops,
never mind.  I didn't see your sign."
 

It's like before my wife and I moved.  Our house was full of
boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway.  My friend
comes over and says "Hey, you moving?" "Nope.  We just pack our
stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes.
Here's your sign."

A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we
pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big 'ol stringer
of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all
them fish?" "Nope -Talked 'em into giving up.  Here's your sign."

I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery
Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit.  And
there's only one way to test it.  "all right Jimmy, you got that
shark suit on, it looks good... They want you to jump into this
pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you."
"Well, all right, but hold my sign.  I don't wanna lose it."

Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those
side-of-the-road gas stations.  The attendant walks out, looks at
my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I
couldn't resist. said, "Nope.  I was driving around and those
other three just swelled right up on me.  Here's your sign."
 

We were trying to sell our car about a year ago.  A guy came over
to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes.  We
get back to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and
grabs the exhaust pipe, then says, "Darn that's hot!" See? If
he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.

I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my days of adventure.
Wouldn't ya know I misjudged the height of a bridge.  The truck
got stuck and I couldn't get it out no matter how I tried.  I
radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take
the report.  He went through his basic questioning..ok..no
problem.  I thought sure he was clear of needing a sign...until
he asked "So..is your truck stuck?" I couldn't help myself!  I
looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and
said "no I'm delivering' a bridge...here's your sign."

Thanks to Funnymail.com  hee hee

How about the person who asks you if you are pregnant ~
and you're not.....

Or the person who sees your litter box, and asks~
Oh do you have a cat ?
No I keep it there for company...Geez

You walk into a room drenched...and someone says
Is it raining ???
No I happen to like the wet look...lol

When you ask someone how to spell a word..and they tell you to look it up in a dictionary... Duh..
How can I look it up if I don't know how to spell it ?

When a nurse gives you an injection and says~
relax this won't hurt a bit...
Okay nursey,your turn now....

Labels on clothes that say " No Shrinking "
Seems like I gained 10 pounds during one washing....

Packages that say "Open Here"
Ya rite, with a saber sword maybe...

Forms that say "Just sign on the dotted line"
and there are no dots,just this line

People that call you in the middle of the night and say,
"Oh did I wake you ?"
Heck no I had to get up to answer the phone anyways..

Or the man who announces to his wife~
"Honey the phone is ringing "
You moron go answer it then !

The waitress who asks "Would you like to order,now"
Heavens no, I think I'll wait for a few days...

Your mate watches you stub your toe,screaming with pain,grabbing your toe ~ you hear him ask
"Where does it hurt "
when it heals, just kick him.

You have just finished sneezing 5 times, blew your nose,and stifled your coughing, when someone  asks
"Oh do you have a cold ?"
No way~I just wanted to make this tissue dance by putting a little boogie in it....

If you would like to share something 'stupid'
that someone has said to you, please by all means
e mail me here...  *S*
A Good One sent by Rochelle~ "There are many, but my favorite is the sign on the back of the cardboard sun protector I put up in my cars windshield to protect inside from the glaring sun, it says, and I quote, "please remove before driving vehicle", like DUH! 
 

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