Headship = leadership. Submission = support. Wife supports husband's leadership of the marriage into righteous processes & qualities to produce partnership & agreement (in the Lord) and fulfill the partnership.

Phil. 2:1-11 Both people need a servant attitude. We must look at our interests and the interests of the other person. Shame or embarrassment is not humility. We can rejoice with our strengths and weaknesses. We can also utilize each other's gifts, good will, and generosity. A husband who is wise and humble will utilize his wife's gifts. Balance is needed. Each person can consider the other smarter that themselves. Until you obey God for awhile, you don't know what you want. Your intelligence is messed up. You have real reason to respect each other's gifts. A wise person is one who wants to obey God.

Arguments are unskilled attempts to reach agreement. Often agreement requires time and prayer. An issue can become a real prayer project. It can take months. Much light can come through friends. Friends are helpful for providing insight. Hard lines should be off limits. Anything (money, childcare, sex, etc.) is open to discussion. God says "Come now and let us reason together." Adam & Eve would have done well if they had let God reason with them.

Don't be committed to your own beliefs. Be committed to God. Untouchable people have hard lines. Submission to righteous friends is one way to be a good leader. A submissive leader can lead others into submission. Our submission helps others to submit to us.

Anger vs. power sharing ~ The dominant person may have hard lines. That is a misuse of power. This can come from misplaced anger. Anger can be controlled. We don't get openly angry at people who are stronger than we are. A person who only gets angry at weaker people is in control of his anger. The answer to this is self-restraint and submission to the weaker person. Men often enjoy the process of come into agreement. Women enjoy the flow. Having faith in the other person helps you get through the process. We never finish learning.

Getting impatient with the process can lead to criticism & defensiveness; contempt & withdrawal. By faith in righteous qualities you can find a basis for respect. You can't be nice to someone you have contempt for. Knowing God gave you that relationship helps you endure the process.