Tears

For Aimee...
The Tears Fall
By Diane Rappe

I can still taste the cookies and smell the decorative soaps that my Aunt Hazel always had in her house- just two of my favorite things I loved while my family and I were visiting.
As I walked through the hall from the living room and into the kitchen, I saw my mom spin around and shout, "Bonnie just had Aimee Irene!"

And the tears fall...

Wow! I'm an aunt at age 15! I felt so cool, I felt proud, and couldn't wait to see her and hold her. As we left my Aunt Hazel's, sad, (death in the family) yet excited to see baby Aimee, I thought to myself, "Yep! That is very strange...a life dies, and a life arrives."

And the tears fall...

Blonde hair, bright eyes, blue jeans and an attitude-- my how time flies. "No, no, Aimee," I said. " If you can't play nice with your sister, you can sit on the couch for a while." Aimee sat on the couch and kicked her legs while I laid Sharon down on the carpet to change her diaper.

And the tears fall...

"Thay's my Aunt Diane," Aimee said to the director of the Peppermint Stick Pre-school where I applied for a job. Gently, yet swiftly, the winds change. My father suffered from cancer for almost ten months before he passed away. What a torturous and painful time it was for him, my mom, and the rest of my family.

And the tears fall...

Long blonde hair, mini skirts and pom poms. Teenage years can be rough, which is why I felt it neccessary to give Aimee a special birthday present--a ring I recieved from my first love. I grew up a little too fast, and I could see Aimee heading in that direction as she reminded me of myself when I was fourteen years old. "I'll never take it off," Aimee said, as she put the ring on her finger. I hoped that each time she looked at that ring, it would remind her to make wise decisions for herself and her future. Time passes.

And the tears fall...

"Hi there, sweetie," Aimee said, as she picked up "MY" child. We sat at the kitchen table glazing silk flowers and painting wicker baskets. "Here you go, Aunt Diane, it's finished. A colorful flowered basket for your seashells and soaps." "One day, I'm going to fly a plane," she said. "Merry Christmas," we said, as we hugged.

And the tears fall...

Talking on the phone I asked her, "Are you having an adventure? How is Arizona?" My heart was filled with joy and contentment as I knew Aimee had grown up to be a very intelligent and mature young lady, and with that ring still on her finger, she had and was making wise decisions for herself and her future.

And the tears fall...

December 10, 1997, "Mommy, I miss Aimee," my son said to me. So I told him, "if she doesn't come home for Christmas, we will write her a letter and you can color her a pretty picture."
December 14, 1997, I awoke to the sound of pounding. As I jumped up out of bed feeling rested after a long needed good night's rest, I felt a knot in my stomach. I opened my door to see my sister's pale face, and immediately knew that something had happened. When she told me, I replied, "Aimee was killed? What, Our Aimee?" I then could feel my body go numb.

And the tears fall...

As I drove my son Dalton to my in-law's house, I wondered how I would tell him we couldn't write Aimee a letter, or he didn't need to color a pretty picture for her.
While hugging my big sister, Aimee's mother, I did not know how to even begin to comfort her, as I could only imagine what she was going through, because I'm just an aunt, and I've been crushed and sent to hell.

And the tears fall...

I could not believe that this was happening. Because, finally, after 13 years since my father's death, I was beginning to accept the fact that life goes on. Finding out the details of my niece's death was more devastating.
With my body still numb, looking at the few flowers set around Aimee's casket, I watched my family's hearts being ripped out and crushed, only to be placed back in the wrong way. My soul cried out, "Someone please take me back to hell! Help! Help us!" I saw the Funeral Administrator hand a small bag to my sister. Someone told me it was the ring that I gave to Aimee--half of a burnt band, and a little diamond still there. I didn't ask to see it, and I never will.

And the tears fall...

I wonder now how my family will go on. Each of us has our own special memories, and each of us has our own pain. I cannot sleep because I hear Aimee crying for help. They say she was killed on impact, but I will never be satisfied with that. I see her in my dreams curled up in a ball trying to protect herself from the flames, and no one could get near to help her.
Why did God take her that way? I will never understand. My six-year-old son says that he wants to die so he can see Aimee. I don't even know how or what I feel towards the drunk driver, I only know that I wish he could have seen and watched my family go through this painful time.
Aimee was so beautiful, and so precious. She lost her life, we lost being there in her life. While the drunk driver will still have a life.

The tears fall.

© 1997 Diane Rappe & Bonnie Crutcher.
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