RECIPE FOR A HUSBAND
First get one. Not too young, but tender and of healthy growth.
Make your selection carefully and let it be final;
Otherwise they will not keep.
Like wine they improve with old age.
Do not pickle or put in hot water,
This makes them hard and sour.
Sweeten with smiles according to variety.
The sour, bitter kind are improved with a pinch of salt and common sense,
Spiced with patience. Flavor with kisses according to taste.
Wrap well in a mantle of charity,
Preserve over a good fire of steady devotion
And serve with peaches and cream.
The poorest varieties may be improved by this process
And will keep for years in any climate.
Wives may be preserved in the same manner.