1. Set all of the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
2. Start playing Calvinball and see how many people you can get to join in.
3. Re-dress the manequins as you see fit.
4. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY slow...especially in thin, narrow aisles.
5. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone "I think we've got a code 3 in Housewares" and see--- what happens.
6. Tune all the radios to a polka station, turn them off, and turn the volume up to "10".
7. Play with the automatic doors.
8. Walk up to complete strangers and say "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..."etc. see if they play along to avoid--- embarassment.
9. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this--- crap anyways?"
10. Repeat #9 in the jewelry department.
11. Ride a bicycle through the store and claim that you're taking it on a "test drive."
12. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about 5 feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the--- department.
13. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as you playing field.
14. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner, look mesmerized and say "WOW,Magic!"
15. Put M & M's on layaway.
16. Move "caution: wet floor" signs to carpeted areas.
17. Set up a tent in the camping department, tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed --- and Bath.
18. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.
19. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
20. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying "...I'm Batman. Come Robin...to the--- Batcave!"
21. TP as much of the store as possible.
22. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
23. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
24. When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between them yelling "Red Rover!"
25. Take up an entire aisles in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs X-Men.
26. Take bets on the battle described above.
27. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in cosmetics.
28. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti--- depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
29. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
30. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission Impossible"
31. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
32. Attempt to fit OTHERS into very large gym bags.
33. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to you Twinkies?"
34. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
35. Two words: "Marco Polo"
36. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.
37. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a--- word.
38. Relax in patio furniture until you get kicked out.
39. Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
40. When an announcement comes on over the speakers, asume the fetal position and yell "Oh no, it's those--- voices again!"