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Our furnace is on a timer, kicks in about 6AM, just the blower sounds of the fan that I've become accustom to. Hear it, acknowledge it, go back to sleep *G*. But what's this?? Now there's an additional sound! So chipper, so bright, so cheery and SO LOUD!!
We sleep with the bedroom window open for fresh air. Just outside the window, hmmm about three feet away, lies a rather large green leafy bush that offers anything and everything the chance of perfect concealment. From somewhere within this sniper's delight came rounds of chirping, each no more than a second apart.
"Just ignore it," I thought, "it'll stop." I decided to get up, go around the end of the bed to wifey's side and shut the window. Ahhh, yes!! That was no help at all *G*. Double paned thermal glass has little to no effect on wall piercing sound rounds fired from the hot beak of an entrenched "happy feathered soldier"
"Okay, fine, you asked for it," I thought as I quickly threw on a pair of jeans, slippers and a Jean shirt, "let the battle begin!"
I stepped out onto the front porch, sighted the offending sounds with an accurate ear, picked up a small stone from the dewy mornin' dirt. With the aim of a true rock throwing artist I shot a round through the middle of the bush. Immediate silence!! 'Course the other feathered mornin' maniacs within the neighborhood had begun their cheers to the day by now. But still, they were further away and not right next to the bedroom window.
Using the caution and understanding of a trained soldier, I stepped back around the corner of cover and fired up a smoke to await the next enemy barrage. It was slow in coming, givin' me time to appropriate another round of ammunition. This feathered sniper was gonna be even more careful now. He peeped off a shot, as if questioning the previous returned fire. I waited, running my eyes over the bush yet sightin' with a trained ear. Another shot, higher in pitch but still with a questioning tone. "Third times the charm," I though as I decided I knew exactly which area of the bush this sniper now concealed himself in.
"CHEEP!" "Whoosh!!" "Thwack!!" "Flap, flap, flap, flap...."
And silence prevails, the sniper now flown off to find easier prey. I finish my smoke and head for the coffee pot, after all, by now I'm wide awake anyhow....
Laws (Of "A Battle Won?")
April 15, 2000