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Law's And Pattie's Great Adventure!!
SUNDAY, JUNE 27th
After finally managing to wrangle a truck and trailer outta Ryder, one friend of ours came over to help load up. With the great packing job performed by my sweetheart and a lot of thought into the overall process we had this here 24' truck packed as tight as my grandmother's wallet.
MONDAY, June 28th
Knowin' we had to orchestrate the return to the Ryder lot to have the car trailer attached and the vehicle loaded. I called up my sister and my mother who both drive. Told 'em, "I'll meet you up at Deb's (she's livin' about 1 block from the Escrow Company) around 2PM, after we sign the final closing papers on the house, and then we can go pick up Harrison Ford (that's what I've named my pick-up). Figured my sister would drive the pick-up followin' me and my mom would follow her in her car. When we got to my sisters my mom was still at home, somewhere she got the idea someone was coming to pick her up!!
Knowing now that we weren't going to get out of town this Monday night, I told my sister to go get my mom (after giving her gas money) and meet me at our old house where Harrison sat. Took Pattie over to the local Howard Johnson's Inn and got us a room for the night. Poor Tabu ended up havin' to spend the night in a big cage in the back of the pick-up 'cause this place don't allow pets.......how rude!!
After everyone showed up (finally) we caravaned over to Ryder. John, the fella runnin' the place, and I attached the trailer. I noticed the jack was bent and wouldn't go up far enough to cleanly attach. John said it should be okay as long as I didn't plan on detachin' it before we arrived at our destination. He said he wouldn't be able to get another trailer until after the 4th, so I figured what the heck. I looked at the tires and mentioned the tread seemed a bit light. "Oh no, they'll be fine", he confidently stated. When then cranked up the trailer and I loaded a fully packed Harrison onto it's back. Once we had him chained down I pulled my new "rig" out toward the highway. I'd already scoped out a parking area at the hotel (with plenty of in/out access) so I told my mom and sister to follow me over and we'd treat them to dinner. I asked 'em when we got there how everything looked on the way over (includin' my driving) and they said "Great!"......'course I always knew by my deep seated "Truckin' Dreams" that if I hadn't gotten married I'd of been interstatin' it!
We chatted over a wonderful dinner and dessert and then called it an evening. My Mom and Sister both teared up when it finally came to partin' time. I knew I'd miss them (okay, maybe just a little bit) but the adventure would REALLY begin the next morning about 4AM and I was 'bout as excited as a puppy in the mornin' after just bein' let in from the garage and told "Wanna go bye-bye?" Yep, dang near wet myself, too!
Laws (Of "Anticipatin' The Road")
PART II, California!!
TUESDAY JUNE 29TH:
Pulled out about 3:30 AM, the cat sure was glad to see us after spending the night in a large cage in the back of the pick-up. Had a sunny day to guide us out of Washington, what more could we ask for? As we passed downtown Seattle and our "previous" place of employment I commented to Pattie, "At least we won't be here for the earthquake they keep talkin' about."
We managed to miss the early mornin' rush hour traffic through Seattle and Tacoma, but hit the noon hour rush at Portland, Oregon. It wasn't too bad and before we knew it we were headed up Grants Pass (at about 25 mph). We pulled up for the night about 4PM at Medford, figurin' we'd get another early start the next day. Everything seemed to be goin' great, no problems with the truck or the trailer.
WEDNESDAY JUNE 30TH:
We pulled out around 4 AM, I figured we'd make Bakersfield, California by 5 PM or so. I mentioned to Pattie how much I hated to go through California, because nothin' good EVER happened to me there. 20 years before the CHP had booted me off the freeway and made me waste eight hours walkin' up old Interstate 99.
We decided to stop for breakfast at Redding and pulled off the freeway following a "Food" sign. After about thirty minutes wanderin' down a backroad without a single sign of civilization I started lookin' for some place wide enough in the road to turn the whole rig around. Luckily an RV site popped up and gave me JUST enough room (with a minor bit of backin' up).
By now we needed gas, I always fill up once I hit 1/4 tank. We got back to the interstate and I took the first exit that was marked "GAS". I spotted a 76 station and as I whipped the rig in I realized there wasn't anyway to exit other than the way I came in!! There weren't no room to swing this puppy around either!! It was 8 AM and folks were poppin' in and out headin' for work. I finally straightened the rig out (blocking three pumps) and waited for a few parking spaces behind me to vacate. Once they did Pattie stood in them and stopped folks from parking there so I could back up. After a great back-up job (hey, someone has to compliment my driving )I almost had enough room. I ended up having to back up once again before I could swing back out onto the roadway. Most folks were patient and waited, one fella decided he just had to jump in front of me......dang, he got away before I could crease 'em!!
Our next gas stop was about noon at Menteca. This time I paid a bit more attention to the "ins and outs" of gassin' a large rig. As we pulled out I asked Pattie how the right side looked ( I was watchin' the left and oncomin' traffic), she said, "Fine, Go!" and we immediately heard someone yelling profanities at us. Seems some fella on a bike almost ate the side of the truck!! Of course, it was our fault that he was an idiot Oh, well, live and learn. The gas station attendant gave us directions back to the interstate (let's make that "mis-directions") and after realizing we missed the turn I found a spot to swing the rig around again. After we found the turn, cruisin' along at about 35 mph, we passed over a couple sets of railroad tracks. All the sudden Pattie yells out, "We've lost the trailer!!" I immediately brake and glance out the side mirror, sure enough I could see WAY too much of that trailer! I actually expected to see the whole dang thing flipped over in the ditch on the side of the road.
Seems the "bump" of the tracks caused our faulty jack to drop and gouge into the roadway, thus causing the hitch to kick off the ball. We snapped one of the safety chains, but fortunately the second one held or we would of fed the whole trailer into oncoming traffic.
A gal stopped to help us, she worked/owned a propane shop just a couple blocks up the road. Without the jack working there was no way to get the hitch reconnected. She went up to her work and brought back a jack and a helper, so we got the thing reconnected and limped up to her shop. She let me use her phone to call Ryder. They took an hour and a half to send over a tow truck, then we had to drive the thing over to their shop so they could:
1. Reweld the "ring" for a safety chain on the back of the truck that had come apart.
2. Remove the faulty jack completely (and no, there wasn't another anywhere in town.
3. Replace the broken safety chain.
4. Fix the trailer lights that had quit working when the ring the wires had been fed through got "pinched" during the seperation.
Three hours later we decided we'd just call it a night and stay over, getting an early start in the morning.
Laws (Of "I Hate California!")
PART III, The Final Leg
JULY 1ST:
In order to comphensate for the loss of time, I wrangled Pattie outta bed about 1 AM (and YES, I ducked!)
Cruisin' down the Highway, enjoying the cool nights breezes with the windows rolled down, I noticed the running lights on the car trailer weren't operating again. To keep from being rear ended and to keep folks that merge from running into the trailer I flipped on the emergency flashers. At the first gas stop I hopped out to take a look at the "connenection". We had Brake lights and turn signals, just no running lights. I found the piched wire and jiggled it around a bit, sure enough the running lights kicked on. Reachin' into my handy mechanical repair kit, I pulled out that man's best friend known as "Duct Tape" and taped the wires into a position where all lights would work.
Laws, the handy man strikes again!!
We stopped at a truck stop just off 58 on the east side of Bakersfield, had breakfast and gassed up again. By now the missus was gettin' just a weeee bit tired of the whole ordeal. I promised her we'd call it a day by 2 or 3 PM so we could both get a good nights sleep. I figured we'd put up in Kingman or Flagstaff, AZ dependin' on how things went.
Just about the time we hit the Mojave Desert (and managed to get right smack in the middle of it)a fella came honking by us pointing toward the trailer. I braked the rig and immediately pulled off on the side of the road. Ta dah, we had blown out one of the two trailer tires on the right side.....and there wasn't much left of it!! Heck, I hadn't felt a thing, probably because at 55 mph the weight was on the back.
As I looked up from the tire, I noticed we had stopped almost 15 ft from a highway call box!! It was 112 degrees out and THIS site was a relief. I picked up the phone and patiently waited for someone to answer it. Twenty plus rings later a female CHP asked what we needed. I explained to here what happened and she asked me if I wanted her to call a tow truck or Ryder. I said, "We weren't given a spare tire." Then she very snidely replied, "I guess sending a tow truck wouldn't do any good then would it?" I told her to call Ryder and gave her the number. She said she'd need the vehicle rental agreement number. I said it was in the truck and if she'd hold on a minute I'd go get it. She replied, "Just call me back when you get it," and hung up. Two words came to my mind, "Rude B..ch"
I got the paperwork and called back, after another twenty plus rings a male CHP answered. Now THIS guy was great, very concerned and helpful. He called Ryder (where I naturally fell into their call "hold" pattern)and kept checking back every five minutes to see if Ryder had answered yet. After another twenty minutes of sittin' by the side of a road bakin' in the desert Ryder picked up.
Well, they didn't have anyone in the immediate area (surprise....I though maybe they had a lizard out here working for them) and it'd take about an hour to an hour and a half to get someone out from Barstow. What would I like to do? It's right about then I started wondering about the intelligence of mankind. "Listen, I'm stuck in the middle of the MoJave Desert with an extremely heated and aggitated wife and a long haired, panting pussy cat........send somebody."
I asked him if running the air conditioner was a good idea in this situation. He said we could probably get away with it IF the truck was diesel. No, ours was gas. He said I should turn it off every now and then so it wouldn't overheat and make matters worse............worse????
By now, Pattie needed to relieve herself. With me standing blocker she mananged the task tucked up behind the cab. I knew it was a hot day for sure when the steam hit!
The fella finally showed up to fix the tire about 1:30 PM. We put Pattie and the cat into his air conditioned cab while he repaired the tire. This guy was a local boy and helpful as could be. He checked all the other tires, noted that the one next to the one he had just fixed was starting to separate (unfortunately he'd only brought one tire or he would have replaced it) and we'd need to get that one fixed ASAP. I asked him if Kingman, anout 90 odd miles away, was ASAP enough? He said, "Yeah, you should make it if you take it easy and keep it around 50 mph."
We made a gas stop in Needles, CA. Musta been 110 degrees there, when you stepped out of the vehicle it felt like you were stepping into a sauna!! No one had a tire that'd fit our trailer, nor did they want to replace it.
We got to Kingman, AZ around 4PM and pulled into a Motel 6 for the night. They had a nice resturaunt next door and the gals there were wonderful and kind, especially after hearing about our ordeals over the last two days. We had a pleasant meal (and a couple drinks) and called it a night. I called Ryder up, again, and after waiting the inappropriate but seemingly common twenty minutes I instructed them that someone WOULD be out tonight to replace the other tire and fix my lights BEFORE I pulled out in the morning. After many, "Yes, sirs", the fella on the other end said they'd contact me at our room number when they arrived. I lay on the bed to wait them out. At 1 AM Pattie woke me up to tell me to get into bed, obviously they weren't coming. Being extremely tired, I decided my mental capacities would function better in the morning (for the purposes of "reamin' Ryder")and crawled into bed. When I awoke at sunrise I decided to go look at the trailer before I called again. Well, what do ya know, there was a new tire on the trailer!! Of course, the lights hadn't been repaired but by now I could make it the rest of the way in daylight any how.
We went back to the resturaunt and had a wonderful breakfast. Said our goodbyes to the good folks in Kingman and proceeded to Albuquerque. The final leg of the trip went by without incident until we pulled off Interstate 40 East at the "Coors Road" exit (why did I suddenly have an urge for a beer???)
All we had to do was head north on this road and then we'd be at the Best Western Rio Rancho, where we could relax for a few days in an air conditioned room and plan our next steps. With these thoughts on my mind I wandered down the exit. At the bottom of this exit, where I expected to find a signal light, I spotted a Stop sign.
Let me draw you a little mental picture here. I'm at a full stop in a 24' Ryder with a 12' trailer looking out onto a six lane highway at 5 PM on a Friday night before a holiday weekend and seeing no breaks in traffic (even with the signal lights a couple blocks away). Okay, I'll admit it, my temper was just about to the limit. I'd handled everything else fairly calmly, not wanting to make difficult situations any worse. I bit my tongue and sat patiently waiting for "just enough" room to make a left in this traffic.....too bad there wasn't a two way left turn lane, would of made things easier. Ten minutes later I'm still sitting, only by now I have about 10 vehicles lined up behind me. That's it, the cork popped and as soon as I saw the next "minor" break in traffic I went for it, figurin' either they'd slow down/stop or eat Ryder metal. Everyone backed down and let me through!! Knowing I had to make another left turn once we got to Rio Rancho I just sat int the left hand lane putterin' along at about 40 mph all the way. Folks just went around me, no one honked, yelled obsenities or made hand gestures!! Yep, I was gonna like it here!
We got to the hotel without further incident and I parked the rig in the lot next door. I only wanted two things, a long shower and a cool bed....okay, three things...but then it HAD been a long trip!!
Laws (Of "Never, Ever, Ever Again!!")