1. Do they have a 4th of July in England?
   Yes, they just don't celebrate it as anything.
   

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2. How many birthdays does the average man have?
   One - he's only born once.
   

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3. Some months have 31 days; how many have 28?
   All months have 28 days; some have more, but none have less.
   

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4. A woman gives a beggar 50 cents; the woman is the beggar's sister, but the beggar is not the woman's brother. How come?
   The beggar is the woman's sister.
   

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5. Why can't a man living in the USA be buried in Canada?
   He's not dead yet.
   

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6. How many outs are there in an inning?
   
   Six.

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7. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister? Why?
   No. If she is his widow, then he is dead.
   

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8. Two men play five games of checkers. Each man wins the same number of games. There are no ties. Explain this.
   They don't play against each other.
   

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9. Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer?
   30 divided by .5 = 60 plus 10 = 70.
   

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10. A man builds a house rectangular in shape. All sides have southern exposure. A big bear walks by. What color is the bear?
    The bear is white. The only place that a house can have southern exposure on all sides is at the North Pole, and the only bears there are polar bears.
    

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11. If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you have?
    Two. You are the one who took away the two.
    

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12. I have two US coins totaling 55 cents. One is not a nickel. What are the coins?
    A fifty cents piece and a nickel. The question states that ONE of the coins is not a nickel, it doesn't say the other one isn't.
    

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13. 13. If you have only one match and you walked into a room where there was an oil burner, a kerosene lamp, and a wood burning stove, which one would you light first?
    The match.
    

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14. How far can a dog run into the woods?
    Only half way, cuz after that he is running OUT of the woods.
    

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15. A doctor gives you three pills telling you to take one every half hour. How long would the pills last?
    1 hour. You take one now, then in a half hour you take the second, and the final one in an hour.
    

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16. A farmer has 17 sheep, and all but 9 die. How many are left?
    Nine.
    

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17. How many animals of each sex did Moses take on the ark?
    None. NOAH was the one who took the animals on the ark, not Moses.
    

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18. A clerk in the butcher shop is 5'10" tall. What does he weigh?
    Meat.
    

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19. How many two cent stamps are there in a dozen?
    Twelve.
    

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20. What was the President's name in 1950?
    William Jefferson Clinton. It was the same in 1950 as it is now.
    

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How did you do? 20 Correct - Genius 17 Correct - Above Normal 15 Correct - Normal 8 Correct - Nincompoop 6 Correct - Moron 3 Correct - Idiot

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