This whole saga starts back to about 1983. My father in law was diagnosed with cancer. Now, keep in mind, I wasn't married to my husband at the time. I hadn't even met him or his family. But they had to indure this battle. On Father's Day of 1988, my husband Bob found his dad dead. He had died peacefully in his sleep from this fight with colon cancer that had eventually spread to his Lymph nodes.

Now fast forward a few years. Bob and I were married in the spring of 1990. In 1997, his mom was diagnosed with the same colon cancer. It seemed as if this time around, it would have a happier ending. I don't really recall my mother in law, Dorothy ever really looking or acting sick. After a major surgery in 1997 where they removed over a third of her colon and intestines, and after a years worth of chemo, she was still able to work, volunteer with Junior athletics, and make my favorite fruit salad at Christmas. But this past winter things went down hill. She hadn't had any chemo since that first years worth. But all of a sudden she was experiencing great pain. She finally went to the ER one night. There they did a series of tests and revealed that she had kidney stones. We all breathed a sigh of relief. After a minor surgery to remove the stones, we thought all was well. But it wasn't to be. Within a month or so after the surgery, she was back at the doctors in pain again. They found a blockage going from her kidneys to her bladder. At that point they put a shunt in to make a clear path. That worked for another month or so. At this third time with her still complaining of pain, they did some more tests, biopsys, x-rays, you name it and found another tumor. Her doctor gathered the family in on a Saturday and informed us that she needed to start a very intense round of chemotherapy in order to try to beat this. When asked what a worse case scenerio would be, if the chemo didn't work, the doctor sadly replied "two months, at the most". So Dot was released from that stay at the hospital on Tuesday after her first dose of chemo. By Thursday of that same week, she would be taken back to the ER with liver failure. She died that night with myself, my husband, and his two sisters, his brother, a close family friend, and two nieces of my mother in laws. This was a very painful thing for me. I was losing my only mother in law and I had to go home and explain to three young children how their mamaw Dorie, who they had just seen and played with the week before was gone. At the age of 26, I wasn't ready for this type of experience. I was so proud of my husband for handling it so well. Especially for our kids' sake. I think he was just so glad that he didn't have to watch her suffer. But it was still a big shock none the less.

So now on with the rest of the story. Now it is 1999. My mother and father in law have both died from cancer. Now it is time for family to be attacked. For the past year my mother has been losing weight. Slowly at first, so that no one really noticed. Even mom herself hadn't noticed until a checkup at the doctor revealed that over an 8 month time period she had lost 50 pounds without trying. Her doctor started asking questions about her eating habits. Mom admitted that lately she felt full all the time. She also said she had been having more serious heartburn and other such stomach ailments. So for a few months he treated her for an ulcer. After she still kept losing weight, he ordered a cat scan and other tests. These tests revealed a tumor on her kidney. After a biopsy was done it was decided that this tumor was benign and harmless. But mom still kept losing weight. She now doesn't even try to eat food. She drinks those little milk shake type things for the elderly. So, once again she was sent in for another series of tests, which revealed some sort of stomach cancer. But before, they could even determine the extent of the cancer (its stage) and decide on what type of treatment to start, they found two more spots, one on each lung. We at this point are waiting for the results of that biopsy. All the while my mom is just withering away to nothing. It is so hard to explain to your six year old who adores Grandma, why Grandma doesn't play or go any where anymore. On the day of my mom's last biospy, her doctor decided that because she was so run down and weak, he would keep her overnight in I.C.U. instead of sending her home on out patient. On the way to the hospital, my oldest tells me in only the way a kindergartener can say "Mom, I sure hope Grandma doesn't end up like Mamaw Dorie" It nearly broke my heart. I can honestly say that I've never had the mother/daughter relationship that you see on television with my mother, but I'm still not ready to be without a mom, either. I guess for now we can just pray, and try to make the best of what we've been dealt. I'll keep ya posted.....