1. Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree
I don't have.
2. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its
intentions.
3. I thought my window was down but found that it was up when I put
my hand through it.
4. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
5. A truck backed through my windshield and into my wife's face.
6. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
7. The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times
before I hit him.
8. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law,
and headed over the embankment.
9. In my attempt to kill a fly I drove into a telephone pole.
10. I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the
wheel and had an accident.
11. I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my U-joint
gave way causing me to have an accident.
12. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the
pedestrian.
13. My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle.
14. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
15. I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side
of the road when I struck him.
16. The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him.
17. I saw a slow-moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off
the hood of my car.
18. The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small
car with a big mouth.
19. I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found
in a ditch by some stray cows.
20. The telephone pole was approaching, I was attempting to swerve
out of its way, when it struck my front end.
21. When asked for a policy number, one claimant asked if it was
really necessary. "The policy number is in the other room with my
daughter's pig. I hate to go into the pig room."
22. When a claimant's purse was stolen containing a lottery ticket,
the claimant was so certain that the stolen ticket was a winner that she
wanted the insurance company to reimburse her for the prize winning amount.
23. Then there was the person who caught his car on fire while trying
to warm the engine with a barbecue grill lighter. How many people do you
know who'd actually admit to that?!
24. While completing an application for auto insurance, I asked the
client if he had had any claims. When he said, "No. I haven't had
an accident." I asked him, "No claims? Of any kind? No glass
like a windshield claim?" and he replied, "Nope, never even had
a Life Insurance claim!"
