We were without our listserv for awhile. This was posted when another listserv appeared: E-mail without Moosedog was like ....

1. an Elkie tail without a curl.
   
2. an Elkie house without dog hair.
3. an Elkie car without noseprints on the window.
4. an Elkie dinner bowl with some food left in it. ....... It just didn't seem natural!

  If you can start the day without caffeine,
  If you can get going without pep pills,
  If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
  If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
  If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,
  If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,
  If you can overlook it when those you love take it out on you when through no fault of yours, something goes wrong,
  If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
  If you can ignore a friend's limited education and never correct him,
  If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,
  If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
  If you can conquer tension without medical help,
  If you can relax without liquor,
  If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
  If you can say honestly that deep in your heart you have no prejudice against creed, colour, religion or politics,
  Then, my friend, you are almost as good as your dog.

  On the first day, God created the Dog.
  On the second day, God created the animals of the earth to serve as potential food for the Dog.
  On the third day, God created Man (mankind) to serve the Dog.
  On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that Man could labor for the good of the Dog.
  On the fifth day, God created the tennis balls so that the Dog might or might not retrieve it.
  On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the Dog healthy and the Man broke.
  On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but She had to walk the Dog.

• Catch Frisbees.
  
• Keep a lonely night from being truly lonely.
• Keep our homes safe.
• Get us outside on beautiful fall days.
• Listen to our singing.
• Treat us like celebrities when we come home.
• Warm up our beds on cold nights.
• Star in our home videos.
• Make our hearts more vigorous.
• Take us outdoors on snowy winter days.
• Alert us to the arrival of the mail.
• Help us live a little longer.
• Make us smile.
• Agree with everything we say.
• Warm our knees with their chins.
• Provide a use for old tennis balls.
• Signal when a thunder storm is coming.
• Pull sleds.
• Help lower our blood pressure.
• Test how fast we can run.
• Keep the squirrels from over-taking our yards.
• Teach our children about responsibility.
• Take us out on rainy days.
• Teach us the meaning of unconditional love.
• The last one is my favorite. "Go give your dog a hug!"

"Where do pets come from?"    And Adam said, "Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me everyday. Now I do not see you anymore. I am lonesome here and it is difficult for me to remember how much you love me."
And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will know I love you, even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish and childish and unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourself."
   And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased.
   And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and he wagged his tail. And Adam said, "But Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and all the good names are taken and I cannot think of a name for this new animal."
   And God said, "No problem! Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name and you will call him DOG."
   And Dog lived with Adam and was a companion to him and loved him. And Adam was comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged his tail.
   After a while, it came to pass that Adam's guardian angel came to the Lord And said, "Lord, Adam has become filled with pride. He struts and preens like a peacock and he believes he is worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught him that he is loved, but no one has taught him humility."
   And the Lord said, "No problem! I will create for him a companion who will be with him forever and who will see him as he is. The companion will remind him of his limitations, so he will know that he is not worthy of adoration."
   And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam. And Cat would not obey Adam.    And when Adam gazed into Cat's eyes, he was reminded that he was not the supreme being. And Adam learned humility.
   And God was pleased. And Adam was greatly improved.
   And Cat did not care one way or the other.