You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like That
Chapter Two of Music of the Heart
DISTRIBUTION: THC, anyone else, ask and ye shall receive.
PAIRING: Various pairings throughout the course of the story.
RATING: PG
SPOILERS: Season 5 of “Buffy,” up to and including “The Gift.” After that, the story spins off into our own little alternate universe.
SUMMARY: An A/U fic in which Buffy is dead and some unexpected people arrive in Sunnydale to help the Scooby Gang.
DISCLAIMER: We own nothing except our original story idea. The shows “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and “Angel” belong to Joss, Mutant Enemy, Lazy Dave Productions, 20th Century Fox, et al. We are merely borrowing the characters for our story and we promise to put them back when we are done.
NOTE: We do not own the song, “You Shouldn’t Kiss Me Like This.” It belongs to the country artist, Toby Keith, and we merely borrowed the lyrics for our story. Song lyrics are in italics
Riley smiled at the pair who stood side by side blushing. Being caught locked in a passionate kiss was new to both Cordelia and Graham. And for that split second he’d forgotten about Buffy being gone. He’d been in a world where love seemed real and natural, even love at first site.
“So, you two ready to hit the road?” Riley asked, shaking his head. He was really enjoying Graham’s discomfort.
“I… I forgot I have to make a quick call home.” Cordelia stammered. At that moment, she wanted to be as far away from the men as she could be.
“Sure, we’ll wait here for you,” Graham said quickly. *What had come over him?* He didn’t run around kissing strangers. In his whole life, he’d only had a handful of one-night stands and that had been back in college. Leaning against the side of the truck, he watched the beautiful, yet skittish brunette race across the parking lot toward the pay phones.
*Yup, quite the Casanova!*
“I’m gonna go back in and get a couple fresh coffees. These are kind of on the cold side, but here’s yours, I know how you like it lukewarm.” Graham said, handing him a cup before he tossed the others in the garbage can.
“I don’t like it lukewarm, but I can drink it this way. Look, grab me a fresh one, too.” Riley replied, opening the trunk to shift luggage around.
“You okay? Wanna talk about her?” Graham asked, coming to stand next to Riley. It was so awkward. How do you have a normal conversation with someone whose true love had just died? Graham felt totally useless, and if there was one thing Graham Miller hated, that was feeling useless.
“Not now, if that’s okay. At this moment, I figure if I don’t have to talk about her, or think about her, I’ll be okay. I can’t believe she’s gone.” Riley said, blinking back a stray tear.
“Okay, I’m here when you do.” Graham clapped him on the shoulder before turning back toward the diner.
Graham walked half way across the parking lot before he turned around to look at Riley. All he could see was a man lost in his own grief. What could he do to help Riley get through this? It would be a long drive before they reached Sunnydale in a couple days. Maybe now with Cordelia driving, they could drive around the clock, only stopping to gas up or eat. They could sleep in the back of the Explorer.
*I bet she’s even beautiful when she sleeps.* Graham couldn’t believe what she was doing to him. One minute he was all worried about Riley, and the next he was wondering something new about Cordelia. The woman was definitely going to be the death of him!
“Shit, Miller you’ve got it bad.” Graham laughed out loud as he headed into the diner.
Cordelia tapped her nails against the glass as she waited for the operator to connect her call. From the privacy of her phone booth she could see Riley and Graham talking, and then she saw Graham walk towards the café. *Damn where is that operator! What the hell am I suppose to tell them?*
“Hello.”
“Yes, I have a collect call for Willow Rosenberg from Cordelia Chase. Do you accept the charges?” The operator asked before Willow could cut her off with her answer.
“Yes, I’ll accept the call. Cordy, are you okay? We’ve been so worried about you. I’ve had to magically bind Angel to house so he would go off looking for you. And you know how hard that is when he has his mind set on something. I mean he gets all scowly and all, but scowly in that cute way he has.” Willow said without even pausing for a breath.
“I found him.”
“Who, Mr. Right?” Willow laughed as Angel came into the room.
“No. I found Riley Finn.” Cordelia answered, slightly miffed that her friend thought that that was all she thought about. Or maybe what annoyed her was that maybe Willow was right about Mr. Right. After that kiss Graham had just laid on her, her lips were still tingling.
The silence on the phone was deafening as Cordelia gave Willow time to accept the news. Yes, the elusive Riley Finn had been found out in the middle of nowhere with his very sexy best friend.
*Okay stop, Cordelia! Get a grip on yourself!*
“How… how is he? Where did you find him?” Willow asked, staring at Angel who was at a loss for who Cordelia had found in the middle of America.
“Wills… Wills, I told him accidentally.” She blurted out, wanting desperately to confess her sin to mother Willow.
“You what? Oh goddess, Cordelia, how could you do that? We wanted to tell him.” Willow said, sinking into the chair next to the phone. Angel rushed to her side, his concern for Willow his only thought.
“Who did Cordy find?” Angel whispered, taking Willow’s hand in his.
“Riley.” She whispered her answer.
“Shit.” Angel groaned. He wasn’t exactly excited about the possibility of Riley Finn coming back into their lives, but he didn’t have much of a say in things now, did he?
“Well, I thought he knew. I mean, before I left you and Tara were doing locating spells to find him. So, what your magick isn’t enough to find him, so you blame me instead? Willow are you listening to what I’m saying?” Cordelia charged, wishing that she hadn’t been the one to tell Riley.
“Yes, I am listening, Cordelia. How did he take it?” Willow knew the answer already, but she felt like she had to ask the question anyway.
“How do you expect him to act? He’s a mess, Willow!” Cordelia looked out across the parking lot to where Riley sat on the tailgate of the Explore. He had stopped crying awhile ago, but now he seemed lost in a profound sadness that seemed to swallow him up.
“Did you tell him about Dawn?” Willow asked, looking at Angel, hoping she’d find strength in him.
“Of course not! My god, once he found out about Buffy, well telling him about Dawn was not a priority on my list of things to do!” Cordelia snapped. Suddenly she found herself wanting to protect this virtual stranger from the pain of losing someone he loved.
“I’m sorry, my bad. So, where’s he heading? Cordy, you need to get him to come to Sunnydale.” Willow hoped Cordelia could handle the task.
“Already dealt with. Seems he and Graham were on their way back to Sunnydale to begin with.”
“Graham’s with him? Why? I mean Graham hasn’t been back in Sunnydale in like forever.”
“I don’t know!” she snapped, feeling slightly annoyed with Willow’s probing questions. Or was it the fact that Willow seemed to know a little bit too much about Graham.
“Sorry, of course you wouldn’t know. I mean if he’s coming for military covert stuff, he’d never tell you. Oh wait, what if he was coming to see Buffy?” Willow’s hand flew to her mouth, as the scene played out in her head.
*Welcome back Riley. Oh, and by the way, Buffy’s dead. Would you like a coffee?*
“Look, I have to go, they’re waiting.” Cordy said watching as Graham glided across the parking lot. For a man as large as he was, he was very graceful on his feet.
“Cordy?”
“Yeah, Will?” Cordy could hear the concern in her voice.
“Do me a favor? Take good care of him for me, till you get him here. And don’t tell him about Dawn.” Willow said, feeling a third pair of eyes on her. Turning slowly, she saw Dawn standing in the living room doorway.
“I will, I promise. Kid gloves. Look, we’ll see you all in a few days. Take care and say ‘hi’ to Angel for me.” She asked, admiring the way Graham’s body rippled as he moved.
“Sure thing. Bye, Cordelia.”
“Bye, Willow.” And the phone clicked off dead in Willow’s ear. Holding the receiver in her hand, she looked at it one last time before putting it back in the cradle.
“So, he knows, I take it?” Angel asked, pulling Willow into his strong arms.
“Oh, yeah. Cordelia thought he already knew.” Willow cried, for she had a pretty good idea how hard Riley was taking all this. He’d loved her so much, that he’d given up everything to be with her, but in the end even that hadn’t been enough.
“So, does he know about me?” Dawn stood in the doorway shifting her weight back from foot to foot.
“No, he doesn’t.” Willow answered, pulling away from Angel so she could look at Dawn.
“Look, maybe you two should talk privately.” Angel said, kissing Willow’s forehead as he got up from the chair.
“Thanks.” She smiled gratefully at him, before she picked up the spell book she’d been reading before the phone rang.
“Talk to you later, sweetheart.” Angel replied, placing a kiss on Dawn’s head as well. Looking into her young face, he saw lines there that only grief could cause. Someone Dawn’s age shouldn’t have to deal with so much loss, it was just unfair.
Dawn came into the living room fully and walked over to the mantel where she picked up a picture of her, Buffy and their mother.
“So, he doesn’t know about me and Buffy’s last wish?” Dawn looked down at the picture in her hands.
“No, Cordy didn’t think it was her place to tell him.” Willow looked up and noticed that Dawn was lost in one of her own little worlds again. Since Buffy’s funeral, Dawn would sometimes drift off to a place where no one could reach her. It had worried Willow at first, but she was reassured by the Summers’ family doctor that this was okay. Dawn was mourning the loss of her sister and mother, and disappearing into a world where there was no pain worked for her.
Willow turned back to her book and was making notes when Dawn’s voice broke the silence in the room.
"Willow, how do I tell him?"
"Just tell him that it was Buffy's wish that Riley raise you." Willow answered, misunderstanding Dawn.
"No, not Spike, I mean Riley. Spike will hate the idea that Riley's gonna be raising me... he’ll - is that what he'll be doing?" Dawn sighed. She actually liked the idea of having Riley in her life again, and as her new big brother she felt for some strange reason safe. Riley was that steady, stable force that had been missing from all their lives since he'd left the previous year, and now he was on his way back.
"You just have to tell both of them the truth, that it was Buffy's dying wish. I know that Spike will hate it, but it was your sister’s last wish, so he'll honor it." Willow replied, putting down the spell book she was looking at.
"But what about Riley? What if he wants nothing to do with me? He and Buffy did not leave things on the best of terms. Wills, in his eyes and heart, Buffy didn't love him." Dawn said, squirming into the big armchair next to Willow, and placing her head on Willow's shoulder.
"I know. But in time, and with all our help, he'll realize that Buffy did really loved him." Willow said, stroking Dawn's head.
"I keep thinking, what happens if he doesn't want me?"
"He's gonna want you. We just need to give him a little time to accept this, and he will." Willow replied, hoping in her heart that she was right.
"But, I don't want this to be about him feeling he has to. You and Tara can go on living here, we're happy." Dawn said
"We'll wait and see what happens with Riley, Dawnie. But from what Cordelia said, he's pretty shaken still by the news that Buffy's gone." Willow brushed the hair out of Dawn's face.
"I miss her, too."
"We all do, sweetie."
"I kind of wish he wasn't coming."
"Why?"
"Cause I can't stand the thought of watching someone's pain that fresh again. I've seen Spike's, then Angel's, and now Riley's."
"They loved your sister very much, their pain is only a reflection of that."
"But, it still hurts."
"We'll all help him through it."
"Anyone home?" Came Faith's voice as it echoed through the hall.
"Living room." Willow called.
<><><><>
After a minor argument between Riley and Graham, it was decided that Graham would drive for awhile. He had insisted that Riley should sit in the back and try to get some sleep. Grief had a way of exhausting people. After making himself comfortable as best as he could, Riley had indeed drifted off and was even snoring lightly.
Graham was driving and Cordelia was sitting next to him in the passenger seat. The two of them hadn’t said much after their spectacular, toe-curling kiss, and miles had passed by in virtual silence. Graham was beginning to wonder if he should have kissed her, or not. Maybe she was being quiet because she was afraid to admit that it was a mistake.
Graham wasn’t the only one who was sensing the sudden awkwardness between the two of them. Cordy felt it, too, but she was at a loss as to what to do about it. Their kiss had been the stuff that sweaty fantasies were made of. No one had ever kissed her like that with the exception of Doyle, and that had been moments before he had sacrificed his life. He had died and Cordelia hadn’t gotten the chance to find out what might have followed the kiss. With Graham, there was a good chance that there would be more kisses, not to mention other things, and a part of her was scared.
Wanting to break the ice, she turned around in her seat to glance back at the sleeping Riley. She figured talking about him would be a safe topic. "Poor guy. I feel horrible for being the one who had to tell him." Cordy sighed at seeing the grief etched into his sleeping face.
"I just hope he can hold it together long enough to get to Sunnydale." Graham replied, looking in the rearview mirror at Riley.
"He's strong, isn't he? I mean he can hold it together, right?" Cordelia asked, looking from Riley to Graham's concerned face.
"I'm hoping. He's been through so much already where she's concerned that I don't know if he's capable of much more."
"He's so worn out." Cordelia observed as she reached back over the seat to pull the blanket up around Riley's shoulders.
"Riley's been fighting for so long, I think he's finally managed to..." Graham stopped as Cordelia settled back into her seat.
"Managed to what?"
"Managed to lose."
“Oh,” was her simple reply. She didn’t know how to follow up a statement like that.
Graham decided that it was time to bite the proverbial bullet. He liked this girl, really liked her, and he didn’t want things to be awkward between them anymore.
“Cordelia, about that kiss…” his voice trailed off as he suddenly lost his nerve.
She turned in her seat to look at him. *Damn, he was one good looking man!* She could very easily fall in love with him and she thought that maybe a small part of her was already starting to.
“It was…” she found that she couldn’t find words accurate enough to describe everything that the kiss had meant to her.
“Yeah,” he agreed softly.
I got a funny feeling
The moment that your lips touched mine
Something shot right through me
My heart skipped a beat in time
Cordelia reached over and placed a hand on his denim-clad thigh and a small thrill ran through her at the feel of his muscles through the heavy cloth. The current of desire running through her body was unmistakable and she blushed slightly.
There's a different feel about you tonight
It's got me thinkin' lots of crazy things
I even think I saw a flash of light
It felt like electricity
She cleared her throat before she spoke, not quite trusting her voice not to fail her. “Look, Graham, I like you and all, but I’m not looking to get involved right now. Angel and the rest of our LA gang are waiting in Sunnydale for me. We’ve packed up our shop and moved there to help out now that Buffy is gone. Angel even got Faith paroled from jail so that she can take over slaying duties.”
The muscles in his jaw tightened. *Was she actually rejecting him?*
He decided to play it cool and calm. “Yeah, I can understand that. I’ll be pretty busy myself once we reach Sunnydale. Riley and I have been chosen to set up shop there for the military. I don’t have time for a relationship either.”
She felt a part of her heart breaking as he spoke those words to her. *Had she misread the kiss? Had he not felt the same things that she did?*
You shouldn't kiss me like this
Unless you mean it like that
Cause I'll just close my eyes
And I won't know where I'm at
We'll get lost on this dance floor
Spinnin' around
And around
And around
And around
A quick glance out of the corner of his eye told Graham that she was crestfallen at his rejection and he suddenly felt like the world’s biggest ass. He truly liked this girl and wanted to see where things might go between the two of them. Reaching over, he touched her thigh this time, and a jolt of electricity passed through him at the contact.
“Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I like you, Cordelia, I like you a lot. It just sounds, though, like we are both going to be really busy in the upcoming weeks and I don’t want anyone to get hurt in this situation.”
They're all watchin' us now
They think we're falling in love
They'd never believe we're just friends
When you kiss me like this
I think you mean it like that
If you do baby, kiss me again
Everybody swears we make the perfect pair
But dancing is as far as it goes
Girl you've never moved me quite
The way you moved me tonight
I just wanted you to know
I just wanted you to know
She nodded in reply. It seemed to be growing awfully warm within the confines of the truck.
“It’s okay, Graham. You don’t have to make me any promises that you might not be able to keep.”
He banged his the palm of his hand against the steering wheel as he quickly pulled the vehicle over to the side of the road. *Dammit!* He couldn’t leave things this way. Graham couldn’t stand the thought of her thinking that he didn’t want her and that he hadn’t felt anything when they had kissed. It was time to rectify that situation. He thanked the good Lord that Riley was sleeping like the dead in the backseat and hadn’t even stirred.
“Graham, what is it? What’s wrong?” Cordelia asked, concern in her voice as he shifted the vehicle into ‘park.’
Undoing his seatbelt, he leaned over and cupped her face in both of his hands. Before she could say anything else, he brought his lips to hers and kissed her. It was the same magic all over again and it was wonderful.
You shouldn't kiss me like this
Unless you mean it like that
Cause I'll just close my eyes
And I won't know where I'm at
We'll get lost on this dance floor
Spinnin' around
And around
And around
And around
They're all watchin' us now
They think we're falling in love
They'd never believe we're just friends
When you kiss me like this
I think you mean it like that
If you do baby, kiss me again
Kiss me again
With one hand, Cordy unfastened her own seatbelt and leaned against him, loving the feel of his hard body against hers. One hand found it’s way into his short hair and she began to massage his scalp. The kiss seemed to go on and on, and she never wanted it to end.
Finally, they had to pull apart for air. Cordelia’s face was flushed pink, and Graham thought that it only made her look that much more beautiful. With one hand, he gently caressed her cheek.
“Again, I say, WOW!” She stammered while looking into his eyes.
“Yeah,” he nodded, watching her face. “Cordelia, I don’t want to lose you, not after I’ve just found you. How about if we agree to take it one day at a time and see what happens?”
“I think I can live with that,” she agreed, her heart singing all the while.
“Get a room, you two!” Riley’s voice came suddenly from the back seat, startling both of them.
Cordelia pulled away from Graham and settled herself back into her own seat, blushing prettily.
“Rye, you’re awake,” Graham awkwardly replied.
“Kind of hard to sleep with you two making out in the front seat,” he good-naturedly joked as he sat up and ran a hand through his hair. “I’m starving, how about the two of you?”
“I could eat,” Cordelia answered, looking straight ahead. She was too embarrassed to turn around and look Riley in the face.
“Sure, we’ll see what they have at the next exit,” Graham said as he reached for the gear shift and put the truck back into ‘drive.’
The story continues in "When Am I Gonna Get Over You"
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