The Song Remembers When
Chapter Thirteen
RATING: PG
COUPLING: Buffy/Riley
SUMMARY: A/U - Riley has left Buffy, and this is 10 years into the
future.
DISCLAIMER: All BtVS characters belong to the wonderfully talented
mind of Joss Whedon. However I do own Riley's daughters and Sam the
nanny.
FEEDBACK: Pretty pretty please! I really hate to beg, but will .
SPOILERS: All of Season 5, and my own little universe.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Ladies and Gentlemen I would love you to give a warm
round of applause to my wonderful Beta Reader Anne Marie who makes
each one of these stories better. To Amy, Nicole and Ace thank you
so much for your kind words, and wonderful own talent that makes me
want to write. And to Andra thank you so much with all your wonderful
help writing this. Chris Buffy will be at our next little group
therapy sessions, and I've made an appointment for Riley to get some
special super intensive attention.
Willow and Graham were in the middle of a searing kiss when they
heard Hope crying and yelling for her Uncle Graham. Graham pulled
back and was out of the chair before Willow even knew what was
happening. By the time she'd managed to pull her thoughts together,
Graham was no where to been seen and she could still hear Hope crying
outside in the hallway. Getting up quickly, she rushed out into the
hall to find Graham holding the crying child, and Riley standing
behind them looking totally devastated. Not only did Riley look
devastated, but Willow also noted that he was dishevelled as well.
"Hope, honey tell Uncle Graham what's wrong, or I can't make it
stop," he said rubbing her back and looking over the child's head at
Riley.
"What happened?" Graham mouthed to Riley, but all he needed to see
was the guilty look on his friend's face to know.
"Hope, please talk to me," Graham said softly, pulling her tighter
against his chest. He wanted to shelter her from what was happening
to her world but he didn't know if he could at this point. It hadn't
even been 24 hours since Buffy had re-entered their respective lives
and all hell was breaking loose.
"Make… her… leave."
Graham had to strain to hear what Hope had said through the torrent
of her tears.
"Buffy?" He asked, afraid for an instant that she'd meant Willow.
The child shook her head slightly and buried her tear-streaked face
even further into Graham's chest.
"Hope, please sweetheart, look at me," the anguish was evident in
Riley's voice as he reached out for his daughter.
"No," she said, shaking her head again, hugging Graham tighter.
Graham glared at Riley, before he lifted the child into his arms and
carried her into the living room.
<How could he be so stupid? Hadn't they just dealt with this a
couple of hours ago? Couldn't he just learn to keep his hands off of
her when the kids were around! >
Riley stood rooted to his spot staring at the floor. He felt as low
as any human could feel and when he felt himself being pulled into
Willow's embrace, he didn't resist but rather held on to her for dear
life.
"It's okay Riley, she'll forgive you."
"I don't know Willow, I don't know."
"Her little world had already been turned upside down and now, in
walks Buffy. Evan she can handle, a new big brother is cool, but a
new woman in her father's life may take some adjusting to. Just give
her time, Riley. Hope just needs time to get to know Buffy; she'll
like her when she does. Tristan and Jordan already seem to," Willow
told him with an encouraging smile.
"Really? They like her?" He asked as he felt a little spark of
happiness light in his heart. She took Riley's hand and led him over
to the staircase and they both sat down together.
"I'd say it's more like love. You should have seen Tristan with
Buffy. It was hysterical! I think they're kindred spirits.
Everything Buffy does, Tristan would copy. You sir, will have your
hands full if they get together. And the way Jordan is with Buffy
makes my heart warm. She hangs on Buffy's every word. The child
needs a strong woman in her life, Riley. I know you have a nanny and
a housekeeper, but this was different. It was like Jordan connected
with Buffy."
"You're serious?"
"Dead. They both helped her with dinner and while dinner cooked, we
hung out in the living room playing Christmas music. Tristan plopped
herself into Buffy's lap and it was like the two of them belonged
together. And watching Buffy with Tristan is just as sweet; it's so
different than watching her with Evan. With Tristan, it's almost
like she… hell I don't know! I can't find the words, but I had
serious tears in these green eyes of mine. It was very touching.
Jordan sat as close to Buffy as she could, without sitting in her lap
too. Watching her with Jordan was pretty special too, it was like
they bonded immediately. They seem to understand each other."
"Let me guess. Hope was no where to be found," he sighed as once
again he was reminded that he'd just broken his little girl's heart
all over.
"You're right. She was with Evan and wanted nothing to do with
Buffy, or me, for that matter."
Maybe Buffy had been right before when they had talked about the
picture gallery. Maybe Hope did need to know that life went on, that
they had to move on past Claire's death.
"Thanks, Willow. I think I'll go talk to my daughter now. I've
missed our talks," Riley leaned over and planted a kiss on her cheek.
"You are still the best and if Graham lets you get away this time,
I'll beat him with a shovel."
"It's a deal," Willow said, watching him get up to go talk to his
daughter. Sitting here with Riley was like old times. It somehow
seemed right, almost like time had stood still or something.
"Wanna come?" Riley asked as he offered Willow his hand and easily
pulled her to her feet.
"Nope, I think I'll go find Buffy and see if she's okay."
"Oh God, Buffy! I'm such an ass!" He said, realising he'd totally
forgotten about her.
"Leave her to me. You go talk to your daughter, that's what's
important," Willow assured him, patting him on the butt and shooing
him off to the living room.
"Hey, Riley?"
"Yeah?"
"I know the words I should have used."
"What?"
"They seemed like a family, you know, Buffy and the girls? They
seemed like your family."
And with that bomb Willow walked away, leaving Riley to gape after
her. Shaking his head he started off towards the living room, but he
turned once more to look at Willow, who had just disappeared around a
corner. He took a deep breath and entered the living room. Hope was
sitting on Graham's knee and he was talking to her quietly. She'd
stopped crying it seemed, but wasn't quite ready to play yet.
"Can I come in?" Riley asked, standing in the doorway.
"Should we let him?" Graham asked, looking down at his niece.
She shook her head and looked over at her father, her bottom lip
began to quiver.
"Don't be mad at me, Daddy," she said, dropping her head again.
"Oh Hope, I could never be made at you. I love you to the moon and
back, you know that," he said as he covered the distance between the
doorway and his daughter in three quick strides. He sat down on the
couch, wanting to take his baby in his arms but he knew she had to
make the first move. As soon as he'd gotten himself settled back
into the couch, Hope climbed from Graham's lap to his.
"See Hope, I told you," Graham said, watching Riley and his daughter.
"Why does she have to be here? I don't want her here with us. I
don't want another mommy."
"Honey… Buffy is very special to me. Before I met your mommy,
Buffy was the person that I loved, but I ran away from her and left
her alone to raise Evan."
"Why?" She asked, shifting so she could get comfortable. Riley
looked into the inquisitive eyes and smiled. Hope was so much like
her mother, always needing to know everything.
"Because I was hurt like you are now."
Hope looked up at her father in awe, awe that her daddy had ever felt
hurt like she felt now.
"I was afraid to listen to what she had to say, so I ran away and
never saw her again. That hurt me so much, until I met your mom," he
said, absently twisting a piece of her auburn hair around his finger
while she twisted his wedding ring around his finger on his other
hand.
"I loved your mom, and it hurt me when she died, just like it hurt
you."
"I miss her," Hope whispered as her tears started to flow again.
"I miss her too, baby. But your mom would not want us sad, and you
know that. Remember how she use to love to laugh, well she'd want us
to laugh again. We haven't laughed in a really long time, have we?"
Riley said, feeling like the world's worst father because he'd missed
the pain that Hope had been in.
"We laugh, but not like before. Your eyes don't laugh anymore."
<She'd noticed? >
"I laugh," he said, feeling the needed to defend himself.
"No, not like when mommy was here."
"You're right about that, pumpkin. But Buffy makes me laugh. She
makes me happy sweetheart."
Riley felt like he was making some head way with Hope, until he saw
her bottom lip start to tremble again. He could feel his frustration
start to mount. He didn't know how to reach her. How did he explain
this to a 6 year old?
"What is it Hope?"
"I don' want us to forget the fun we had with mommy."
"I don't want us to forget that either," Riley said hugging her
tight, and he meant it. Riley knew Hope meant more than what she was
really saying; she didn't want to forget her mother. Riley never
wanted the girls to forget Claire either, or the life they'd shared
before she'd died.
"But if we have fun with Buffy…" Hope's little voice faded off,
afraid to even say it out loud.
"You think you'll forget mommy," Riley finished for her. He looked
up to Graham for help, hoping his saviour had some answers for him,
and as always Graham spoke up.
"Hope, do you remember your old best friend Kim that lived next door
to you at the old house?"
"Yeah! She was fun! We made a house out of the old fridge box,
remember daddy?" She said, bouncing on his lap clapping her hands
together, the earlier tears forgotten.
"Sure I remember. You and Kim wanted to live in it, but Mrs. Scott
and your mom wouldn't let you," he said, stroking his daughter's
hair. He understood where Graham was going with this train of
thought and left him to manage the situation.
"Yeah."
"Okay, and now you have a new best friend since you moved here,
right?"
"Addison. She lives in the house next door."
<Yeah in the other protected fortress. >
Graham smirked.
"So you and Addison play now?"
"All the time."
"And do you still see Kim?"
"No, bust she's coming to my birthday party," Hope said, shaking her
head.
"And we just thought about her right?"
"Yup," Hope smiled at her Uncle.
"Then why can't you think of Buffy and your mom sort of the same way.
You have lots of memories of your mom and you had lots of fun with
her, right?"
She looked up at her dad and then back at Graham shaking her head.
"And like… Addison, …Buffy and you can have new fun too.
You can still remember your mom, and I would be happy to tell you all
about her anytime you want to talk about her with me. I know for a
fact your dad would too."
"Really?" She asked, doubting the simplicity of his idea.
"Something like that," Graham said, smiling at her.
"Sweetheart, Buffy only wants to be your friend. I don't plan on
making her your new mommy today or even tomorrow but she will be a
new and important part of both of our lives because of Evan. They
need us all right now. Do you understand this?"
"I'll try," she said, offering her father and uncle a slightly watery
smile.
"That's my girl. I love you," Riley said, kissing the top of her head
"I have an idea," Graham said, hating to break the love in, but it
was close to bedtime for the girls.
"Why don't you and the other kids get your p.j.'s on and we'll have
story time in the den by the fireplace. I bet I can convince Buffy
to make her famous hot chocolate," Graham watched as Hope's eyes lit
up.
"There's no fire in the fireplace, " she said sadly.
"I'll make one while you and the others get you p.j.'s on," Riley
told her.
"Cool."
"Go tell the others and I'll be right there," Riley said, smiling at
his daughter.
"'Kay!" She said, jumping down off his lap and running out of the
room. A moment later she ran back into the room and threw her arms
around her father.
"I forgot! I love you too, Daddy."
"How much?"
"To the moon and beyond, and back again," she whispered, leaning her
forehead against Riley's
"Ditto. Now scram or I'll change my mind," he replied, kissing her
nose.
"One minute!" She said, giving him her own version of her mother's
glare. Climbing down from Riley's lap, she walked over to stand in
front of Graham.
"I love you too, Uncle Graham, and Tristan was right. Don't leave us
alone again that long!" Graham could feel his eyes getting a little
misty as she threw her arms around his neck.
"Right back at you, Red."
"Don't ever tell Uncle Marc or Kevin, but you're my favourite!"
With that, Hope ran out of the room to round up her brother and
sisters.
"Gotta love em'," Riley sighed, watching as Graham tried to blink his
unshed tears away.
"I do."
"I know. They'd be lost without you and so would I. I love you, man.
Thanks again for saving my butt," Riley said, feeling suddenly
awkward. As much as the two loved each other they rarely said it.
"Don't get all mushy on me or I'll kick your ass. How could you be
so stupid to get caught with Buffy? Can't you two keep your hands
off each other when the kids are awake?" He asked, trying to sound
angry.
"Like you and Willow?" Riley laughed as he reached over to wipe
Willow's lipstick off Graham's cheek.
"Busted! But at least they're not my kids."
"Things good between you and Willow?"
Riley watched the smile play across Graham's face.
"Good."
"Good because I threatened to beat you with a shovel and I don't want
to have to do that," Riley smirked at his best friend.
"Come on, you round up the kids and I'll start the fire."
"Wipe that smirk off your face, Finn," Graham growled at him.
"What smirk?" Riley asked, feigning innocence.
______________________________________________________________________
Willow found Buffy in the den with the other kids. Standing in the
doorway, she watched the scene before her. Jordan and Evan lay side
by side on the floor watching "A Christmas Story", while Buffy sat on
the couch with Tristan sound asleep in her lap.
"Asleep, I see."
"Yeah, she climbed up her as soon as I sat down. She cuddled and
then fell asleep. Isn't she the cutest thing you've ever seen?"
Buffy whispered to Willow the awe clearly written on her face.
"The three of them are adorable, but don't get too close Buffy. What
if this doesn't work out? It would be hard enough losing Riley, but
I think it would kill you if you lost them as well," Willow warned,
indicating the gift sleeping in her lap.
"I know, but it's so hard not too. Riley and I will work this whole
kid thing out, don't worry. Hope will learn to love me," Buffy said
determinedly, smoothing the blonde curly hair off of Tristan's face.
"I hope so, for both your sakes. He seems pretty smitten with you,"
Willow grinned knowingly at her best friend.
"Yeah… well, it's like they say about riding a bike I guess,"
Buffy said, acknowledging Willow's grin with one of her own.
"So she actually caught the two of you?"
"Not really caught, but she might as well have. Riley was climbing
off me buttoning up his shirt, Buffy said, cringing as the scene
played out in her head again.
"He's sorry he took off on you."
"Hey, he doesn't have to apologise. I would have done the same
thing. Is he okay?" She asked, feeling awful for the man she loved.
"I don't really know. We talked in the hallway for a bit, he's
upset, but…"
"It's my fault."
"It's no one's fault, and from the sounds of it, Riley was happy it
happened."
"You think?" Buffy whispered hopefully.
"Well he didn't say it in so many words but a woman can tell," Willow
whispered back to her smiling friend.
They sat in silence for a minute watching the movie until Willow
noticed Buffy trying to stretch with Tristan asleep in her lap.
"I'll take her for you."
"No way. I love holding her. She's Riley's baby," Buffy said, love
evident in her voice.
<I wish this little bundle was Riley's and mine, but she's a part of
Riley none the less. >
"Guys, get your p.j.'s on! Dad's gonna read to us!" Hope hollered
from the hallway.
"What?" Evan asked, unsure of what he'd heard.
"Dad reads to us every night. It's a rule here," Jordan told her
brother matter-of-factly as she turned the VCR off.
"Really?"
"Yup, and since you're one of us now, lets go get our p.j.'s on!"
Jordan said, getting up off the floor and reaching for her brother.
"Uncle Graham said Buffy could make her special hot chocolate for
us," Hope said shyly as she met Buffy's eyes for the first time that
day. There was a look in Hope's eyes that was at once scared and
uncertain but offered a promise of friendship.
"That I can," Buffy said quietly to the little girl, hoping that
maybe they could work this thing out between them.
"Hot chocolate," a muffled, sleepy voice mumbled from her arms.
"That's what she said. I thought you were asleep?" Willow said,
reaching over to tickle Tristan's stomach. It was so easy to see why
she was Graham's favourite.
"Nope," Tristan yawned and smiled impishly at Willow and Buffy.
"I think it is well past someone's bedtime," Riley said watching his
daughter in Buffy's arms from his vantagepoint in the doorway.
<Willow's right. It does look perfectly natural. >
"No, Daddy! I want hot chocolate too," Tristan pouted at her father.
"Only if you get your p.j.'s on," Riley said firmly, making his way
to the fireplace.
"Okay!" She agreed, scrambling off Buffy's lap.
"Uncle Cracker, can I have a piggy back ride?"
"Sure Trist-tie, but we have to stop by the kitchen first and show
Buffy where everything is, ok?"
"Cool! Come on Buffy!" She exclaimed, racing back over to the couch
to pull Buffy to her feet.
"I'm coming, Tristan!" Buffy was left almost breathless by the
child's exuberance.
"One, two, three, up!" Tristan yelled as Graham swung her up on to
his back.
"Hope?" Riley called to his middle child as she started to leave
the room.
"Yes, Daddy?"
"Remember to bring the book down, ok? It's on the book shelf."
"Okay," said the little red head before racing from the room to catch
up with the others.
Willow sat back down on the couch and watched Riley trying to start
the fireplace. He seemed much more relaxed since their earlier
conversation on the stairs.
"Did everything go okay with Hope?' She finally asked. The suspense
was killing her.
"Yeah, I think so. I'm not sure if she really understands yet, but
she's promised to be nice to Buffy while she's here. And I promised
not to either marry Buffy today or tomorrow, and not to man handle
her in front of the kids. The last promise was to Graham, by the
way."
At the mere mention of Graham's name he saw Willow's face light up.
<Seems the feeling is entirely mutual! >
"Graham seems really good with the kids," Willow remarked, trying to
be nonchalant as she pumped Riley for information.
"He's great, a real natural. Well, not a first. When Jordan was
born, he didn't know which end was up but then, neither of us did
really. By the time Tristan was born, he was in the delivery room."
Seeing Willow raise an eyebrow he continued:
"I was out of town visiting a client and Claire went into labour
early, so Graham was thrown into service. He was great! It was a
long labour and he was with Claire the whole way through. It was
Claire's idea to name the baby after Graham."
"After Graham?"
"Yeah, Graham Tristan Miller, hence Tristan," Riley said, forgetting
that Willow hadn't known Graham as long as he had.
"If you can't tell, there's a mutual admiration society there."
"It's very obvious. His whole face lit up when he saw her tonight in
the kitchen," Willow said, smiling at the memory.
"Don't get me wrong, he loves all the girls, each for her own reason,
but Tristan's his favourite. He'll make an amazing father someday."
"I know."
"I don't know how I would have survived without him after Claire
died. He was there for me every step of the way. There were days
when I couldn't pull myself out of bed, and there he'd be, changing
diapers and feeding them. He's the best friend a person could ask
for."
Willow smiled at Riley, knowing that what he'd just said was true.
Graham was the best. She decided in that second that she would do
whatever it took to win his heart. She'd even leave acting and move
to Boston if that's what would do the job. Yes sir, she would own
his heart before she left for California or she'd die trying!
The story continues in chapter 14
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