Well, I have to say that the performance didn't actually go as badly as I thought it would. For one thing, Rosi had a book of crosswords that we spent most of our time backstage doing, and I love crosswords. For another ... well, actually, I can't think of another, so let's just get down to analysing exactly what went wrong.
On the first night, in the classroom scene, I think nerves got the better of me briefly because my right leg was trembling backwards and forwards continually, although probably not noticably. It did put me off, though, to the extent that I do believe I may have uttered the phrase, "Oh, the beauties of Italy! Warm, soft, brown skin, jet - jet - jet - jet - jet black hair with the sheen of silk and pools, dark deep eyes." Of course, on the second night in the same scene, I think I described a dish called Monte Bianco as "whipped cream piled high with chestnut puree" and not the other way round.
The coach scene always makes me cringe, as I think I may have mentioned in the previous article. Even if I didn't, it was so bad that it doesn't really bear thinking about, so we'll move on.
The silhouette scene actually got a laugh, so it wasn't a total failure. In fact, it could perhaps be judged a success.
The train scene, despite the inclusion of some of the worst jokes that are present in the script, wasn't too bad on either night, so once again, we'll move on.
Next, the scene set in the centre of the Italian town. Everyone except me and Elisa have to go on for this scene, and we have by now heard it so often that we can mouth it along with everybody else. Still, being backstage not doing this scene has to be more fun than being onstage doing it. However, despite being involved in the process of mouthing along the words, I actually missed my cue on the first night and almost forgot to come on. Fortunately, I remembered just in time. I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't.
The beach scene is really really really really really really really really really really good. Eating salad onstage: well, you can't get better things to do than that.
Then we come to the cringeworthy fight scene. This is quite astonishingly poor. It might have been not so bad if Nicola and I hadn't had to pretend to be Italians who have never yet been seen in the play, nor are ever seen again. But such is the unfortunate nature of the play.
Nothing else bad actually happened. The whole of Act 2 ran sensibly and nothing went wrong. I am, however, rather bored of writing this article, so it's probably time I finished. If I get photos of the play, I'll put them up on this page.