I would have to say that, in general, my coming out has been, if I can use this, great. I figured out when I was 11 years old that I was gay and, now, when I look back before that age, I see that I was all along. From the ages of 11 to before I came out at 14, I picked up clues that my parents had no problems about homosexuality. My only concern was what affect it would have on them that their own, and only, son was gay. I found out soon, though.

When I was 12 or 13, I moved in with my grandparents, who happened to live next door to us. My mom and I were constantly argiung, so my grandpa suggested I come and live with them, so I did. Not long after, I got America Online, and that gave me some kind of escape from my "straight" life. Now, my grandparents are, as they say, old-school, so being gay to them is, well, frankly it's bad. I can't tell you how much time I spent online, finally knwing that I had friends who were like me, knew what I was going through, and it felt great to have people to talk to.

My birthday is in December (December 23), so I had just turned 14 when I met this guy who lives in Houston, which is only about an hour from where I live. Not mentioning any names, but this guy and I became great friends, and I guess you could say we became "on-line boyfriends." There was love involved, and eventually this guy got to where he would call me everynight, long-distance. This went on until about May, when one day my grandma said she got a phone call from the telephone company about some long-distance calls made to our house every day. I did not know about this call, but one day she asked me if I knew anyone from Houston, and, scared that if I said yes I would be found out AND get in trouble, I said no.

After that, the guy and I only exchanged e-mails back and forth every now and then, until one night, June 23 to be exact, around midnight, I got a call, and it was this guy. He said his dad wanted to talk to my parents, and I told him that he knew that I lived with my grandparents, so then his dad got on the phone and told me to be expecting a phone call the next day.

Scared, I immediately snuck out of my house, went next door, and got my mom out bed. I brought her into the living room, sat her down on the couch, and aked her if my grandma had told her about the phone call from the telephone company about the calls from Houston. When she said no, I said, well, they were from my boyfriend, and started to cry. I'll never forget what she said, "It's ok, don't cry." and then she hugged me. Don't get me wrong, I did not expect anything violent or bad at all from her, as her sister is a lesbian.

I am not sure how it happened, but she asked me if my grandparents knew and I said no, said she said she would go back over to my house and be there with me when I told them. I said that I did not want to, but she said that it was for the best, so I gave in. She went and got my dad out of bed, and, I'm assuming, told him what I had just told her.

When we got back to my house, I sat down and my mom went and got my grandparents out of bed, brought them in the living room, and I basically told them the same thing I told my mom. As I said earlier, my grandparents are "old-school," so my grandma asked me why, and my grandpa went into how sick and disgusting sexual acts between to men are. Before the night was over, I somehow ended up staying the night at my mom's house, and ended up eventually moving back in after a few weeks.

After moving back in with my mom, our relationship greatly improved. I guess it was because I was going through depression as a result of not being able to talk to this guy anymore, but it was about life in general. Soon school started, I was entering high school, a freshman, and the first day a guy that I knew told me I look like a faggot, so the next morning, I kinda lingered around the house waiting for my mom to leave before I went to catch the bus. As soon as I saw her turn down the road, I waited for a while to make sure she was not coming back, and then I got back in bed. Around noon, someone woke me up, and it was my mom, asking why I didn't go to school. I told her, and within the next few days, I was in homeschool. I have two things to say about my time in homeschool.

One, it was the time in which I came out to everyone else, like my friends. I got a friend who I met online to e-mail another friend who had been a friend since the fourth grade and tell him that I was gay. The next day, I got a call from him, asking if it was true, and soon after, got a call from his twin brother, asking the same thing. I got two more calls, from two of my other best friends, and I told both of them that it was true. The twin brothers and I have never really talked since, and I know it was because they didn't want people to think bad of them because they were with me. Well, just last year, they both came out to me, saying they are bi, but they do not know they that other one has told me. Kinda funny predicament. How I found this out is that the other friend who called me, we remained friends, just not as good, said that him and one of the twins messed around all the time. As for the last friend, it was a girl, and me coming out brought us closer together, seems it usually does that when a guy comes out to a girl. She has been like a sister to me through everything and vice versa, and if I was straight, would want her as my girlfriend.

Two, I only lasted in homeschool for the first semester of my freshman year. After the Christmas holidays I went back, and have been back ever since. I am a senior now, and things are great. I never really got any trouble from anyone, but there are always those who are just plain ignorant or nto sure of theirselves and have to say something. I swear, you would be amazed at the level of hypocrisy at my school.

As for my family, things are going great as well. I have been living back with my parents ever since. My mom and I are open and honest with each other, and have a better relationship than we ever had before. My dad, who said when I first came out that I was not to bring anyone home with me, has done a complete turn-around. My first boyfriend lived with me for the year that we were together. He became a part of the family, and of course there were those embarrassing incidents that my dad walked in on, but he just laughed it off.

My grandparents have shocked me. Like my dad, they have changed, a lot. When my boyfriend and I broke up, they offered to let him come live with them (by this time, we had moved away from next door to them), and even talk to me about things that happened when my first and I were together. They laugh when my sister (I have two, and I am referring to the older one) and I get in little arguments about whose boyfriend is better.

The extended family knows too, nothing is ever said about it when we are all together, but they treat me the same. No one really cares.

In general, I am happy. My decisions in the past have done nothing to hinder my happiness in the present. In fact, they have only made them better. They have made me better as a person, allowing me to be who I really am. Over the past two years, I have amassed a circle of close friends, who have become a second family to me. We are all alike, but have our own idiosyncrasies, and love and respect each other (though you could not tell from the way we act towards each other). I just want everyone to know that I know what everyone else is going through or has gone through. I am here to talk, would love to try and make things better and/or easier, and hope to make new friends along the way.