Excerpted from The Advocate, December 4, 2001 

For thousands of gay people, Operation Enduring Freedom presents both a golden opportunity to serve and a harrowing personal dilemma. They are diving into uncharted waters of “don’t ask, don’t tell” during the global war against terrorism—a conflict unlike any other in American history that may last well into the future, military officials warn. But the lessons of the past show that for gay and lesbian service personnel, even the slightest short-term candor can put them at long-term risk.

As they did during the Persian Gulf War in 1991, military officials have signaled that personnel policies will be enforced less strictly during Enduring Freedom than in peacetime. But it is likely that immediately after this war—no matter what its duration—officials will resume enforcement of those policies and discharge gay men and lesbians who have served honorably, openly, and without any disruption of military cohesion or morale.

C. Dixon Osburn, executive director of SLDN, says “don’t ask, don’t tell” is especially unevenly enforced in times of war. “You have two camps of commanders,” he says. “One brings the unit more closely together, and that builds trust. They don’t care whether you are gay; just make sure jets get fueled, targets struck. On the other hand, some commanders will be more draconian. We are warning everyone that discharges will undoubtedly continue; the atmosphere is just as hostile.”

Bridgett Wilson, a San Diego lawyer with a large clientele of gay service members, says antigay prejudices in wartime are “a tremendous burden, an unconscionable burden. Someone on an aircraft carrier can’t even list his [same-sex] partner with the military so that if something happens to him, the partner will be notified. You have to be careful what you say to your colleagues, what you say in letters home. Even if you happen to have a confidant or two, it’s just a very bad situation for anyone. It’s natural to want it to be known in a life-threatening situation; no one wants to die with a secret.”

Gays and lesbians may be particularly well-represented in the current mobilization, which calls for hundreds of computer and communications technicians, language specialists, and Special Forces members. “We are all over this conflict,” Wilson says. “The [Defense Department] would love to deny it, but there are lots of gays in Special Forces—Green Berets, Navy SEALs.”

Larry Glover, however, is no longer in the military. When he heard about the terrorist attacks, he became so enraged that he wanted to “kick some butt.” But in 2000, after 15 years in the Navy, Glover resigned his post as an avionics technician for F-14 attack aircraft because he wanted to come out. Had he remained in the service, his expertise with the computers that control everything from planes’ targeting to their radar would have made him perfect for deployment on a carrier in the Arabian Sea.

“I know I was a good soldier and I had a lot to contribute. I really missed the sense of purpose the military provides,” he says. “But at the same time, I knew I had made the right decision. I [was having] to pull away from my military family and hide the secret about my partner and myself.

“When you go into a combat situation, everyone gets more intense,” he says. “It’s even more stressful when you can’t talk to anyone about your fears.”