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Tru Luv Fanfiction |
Boston Confidential
by: Laura Smith
This fic has so many shout-outs to the posters over at MBTV that I can't even begin to mention them all. I've stolen from your wise-ass comments and critiques shamelessly, but I hope it's all worthwhile. This one's for you guys. Hope you like it.
"I can’t believe I have nothing better to do in my life than chaperone you on your date."
"You could have said no."
"Would you have gone?"
Jack glanced up from the book in his lap and met Pacey’s amused gaze. Giving him a dirty look, he shook his head. "No."
"And your celibacy would forever be all my fault. I have enough guilt on my conscience where your sexuality is concerned, Jack, my boy." Pacey kicked his feet up onto the empty seat next to Jack. "Bad enough I practically shoved you out of the closet…"
"I thought you’d given up taking credit for that."
"Guilt is a funny thing. Comes back in droves when you’ve got nothing better to think about." He looked out the window at the passing landscape. "So, when and where are you supposed to meet Mr. Dreamboat?"
"Tonight. At some coffee shop near the hotel we’re staying in. We’re going to meet and talk and get to know one another."
"And then kick me out into the lobby while you knock some boots."
"Yeah, right." Jack nodded seriously. "I just invited you along because I want him to be jealous of the annoying jokester I brought along as a second string."
"Maybe he’ll think he’s getting a two for one deal."
Jack sighed. "Why did I let you come with me?"
"You took pity on me in my single state." Pacey gave him a wry grin. "You knew I was hurt and lonely by the royal dumping I got from Miss Potter and so you got me the fuck out of Dodge."
"Right." Jack nodded. "I did you a favor. So why am I suffering?"
"No good deed goes unpunished," Pacey reminded him, his smile fading slightly at the thought of his now ex-girlfriend. "But you’ve got plans for the night, I’ve got the whole city of Boston at my fingertips. I can’t see any bad in this situation."
"You’re not looking hard enough."
"Oh yeah," Pacey nodded. "I’m rooming with you."
Jack shook his head, leaning back against the seat. "I’m regretting this already."
"You shouldn’t be," Pacey noted with pleasure. "It’s gonna get much worse."
"Wow."
Jack nodded in agreement. "Wow."
"I mean, this is really…wow."
"I’m kind of afraid."
"As well you should be." Pacey surveyed the vast array of shops that lined the street their hotel and Jack’s date rendezvous restaurant were located on and couldn’t help widening his eyes. "Especially coming from a place where the ‘gay’ part of town consists solely of wherever you and my brother happen to be at any given moment."
"This gives new meaning to the color pink."
"Barbie’d be proud." Pacey stepped closer to the hotel. "Maybe we should go get our room?"
"You think that’s a good idea?" Jack blinked rapidly as a crowd of same sex couples walked past them. "They’re liable to think that we’re…"
"It’s okay if they think that," Pacey assured him. "It gives me a sense of security knowing that I have a big strong man like you to protect me." He laced his arm through Jack’s and batted his eyes at him. "Jackers."
"I’m so going to kill Kate." Jack disentangled himself from Pacey and opened the door of the hotel. Walking to the front desk, he tried not to stare at the couple sitting in the lobby making out. No one else seemed to give them more than a casual glance, so he kept walking, hoping that Pacey wouldn’t make any comment.
Instead, Pacey followed him to the desk, strangely silent. Jack checked them in then handed Pacey the second key. They were safely ensconced in the elevator before Pacey spoke again. "Does it wig you out at all?"
"What?"
"Seeing that? So…open?"
Jack shrugged. "I’m not used to it, if that’s what you’re asking. But I don’t find it repulsive."
"You’d be a pretty horrible gay person if the thought of two guys kissing was a stumbling block for you," Pacey agreed. "I just…"
"It’s okay to feel uncomfortable."
"I’m not." He shrugged. "It’s just different." The elevator beeped and the doors opened. Jack led the way to the room and Pacey followed, his eyes scanning the hallway. "So, do you have to be gay to stay here? Have something like the ‘Gaymerican Express’? Don’t flounce home without it?"
Jack laughed. "I didn’t have to show them any credentials."
"Maybe they just have gaydar and anyone who doesn’t set it off doesn’t get in."
"What does that say about you?" Jack laughed as Pacey’s face changed.
"Maybe they think you’re out to recruit me for your team."
"You wanna be quarterback?"
Pacey tossed his duffel bag onto one of the single beds then sank down on it. "Maybe I’ll go exploring tonight while you’re on your date. I bet I could find an interesting present for Dawson while we were here."
"One you’d most likely have to explain to him."
"Nah," Pacey shuddered a little. "That’s what my big sister is for."
Jack collapsed on the other bed. "Now that’s disturbing."
"Maybe you could hook up with Doug and make my life even more of a soap opera."
"I’d probably have to sleep with Jen first so she could have my baby."
"There ya go," Pacey nodded his agreement. "Let’s see…then we’ll discover that Joey has an evil twin. Or better yet, Abby Morgan will return from the dead."
"That would have the satanic possession plot line taken care of as well," Jack added. The phone rang and he shrugged, leaning over to pick up the receiver. "Yeah?"
Pacey shoved his bag off the bed and stretched out completely, staring at the ceiling. He half-listened to Jack’s side of the conversation, realizing that whatever was being said wasn’t good. He wondered if it was home calling or if Mr. Dreamboat had set sail before Jack pulled into port. When Jack hung up, he turned his head. "What’s up?"
"That was Jeff."
"Jeff?"
"The guy."
"Ah. And what? He doesn’t want to meet at the coffee shop? Instead he wants you to find him chained to the wall at the leather bar?"
"He can’t make it. His parents just got into town and, since they don’t know he’s gay, he’d feel a little awkward bringing them to dinner."
"Ouch."
"Yeah." Jack sighed. "I’m beginning to think I attract really, really doomed relationships."
"You have to actually meet for it to be a relationship." Pacey shrugged. "Besides, I think I’ve got you beat hands down. First girlfriend? Teacher over twice my age. Left town to avoid prosecution. Second girlfriend? Cheated on me in a mental institution. Third girlfriend…well, I have it on good authority that Joey’s looking into sex change operations."
"This really is a soap opera." Jack couldn’t help but laugh. "So, now that we’ve had a free trip to Boston, what should we do?"
"I’m afraid to go outside."
Jack nodded. "Me too."
"So…" Pacey picked up the TV remote from where it lay on the bedside table between them. "Shall we find something good to watch? I’ve got a couple extra bucks, we could do the whole HBO After Dark."
"Because nothing’s better than watching half naked women frolic through some contrived mystery."
"You honestly think there’s something better than that?" Pacey looked at him in shock, until he realized. "Right. Well, maybe the men will be half naked too."
"Something for everyone."
Pacey hit the button and brought the TV to life. He flipped through channels, finding nothing, before switching it off. "Maybe not. We could…" He got off the bed and walked to the window, staring down at the busy street. Dusk was settling over the city. "We could talk."
"About?" Jack sat up as well, his disappointment surrounding him.
"Well," Pacey walked back and sat across from him. "Why don’t you tell me some of the stuff you’ve been going through. I know this has to be hard for you. It took a lot of courage to come all the way up here to meet this guy."
"Yeah. And a lot of courage to actually talk to him. And get over what happened with Ethan."
"Nice to know that love sucks no matter what sex the partner is." Pacey looked at the ground. "I’m sorry I wasn’t around for you. I mean, I know you had Jen, Andie and Dawson and that you and I haven’t been the bestest of pals, but I am…"
"I’m glad you weren’t."
"And excuse me while I gather up my fragile ego and shove it back in my suitcase."
"I meant I’m glad you and Joey had your moment."
"Yeah. Me too." Shaking off the warming lull of memory, Pacey focused on Jack. "But we’re not talking about me. We’re talking about Jackers. The man I’m spending the night with." He gave his voice a breathy sigh. "Woo me with your words."
Jack grabbed the pillow from behind him and smacked Pacey with it. "Same old shit," Jack assured him. "I got up the guts to kiss Ethan and right after that he introduced me to the boyfriend he’d just gotten back together with. And then it was a long dry spell with lots of false starts until I started talking to Jeff. He’s in the same college I’m going to be going to and we started talking about that. Then one thing led to another and we found out that we’re both gay."
"And so here we are in Boston."
"Yup."
"So you’ve kissed Ethan?"
"Well, sort of."
"And?"
"And what?"
"Come on. Juicy details. What else?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"Nope." Jack glanced toward the window. "It’s not like there are a line of guys in Capeside waiting to be my bitch." He laughed and lay back. "I’ve kissed Ethan. And that’s all I’ve done."
"So…well, suppose this Jeff guy had worked out. How do you…well…"
"What?"
"How would you know what to do? Do they have a manual? When you step out of the closet they give you a booklet on the wild and wonderful world of man lovin’?"
"You’re about as uncouth as they come, aren’t you, Pacey?"
"Undoubtedly." He persisted anyway. "I just…how do you know what to do? It’s different. Scary, I would think."
"How did you know what to do the first time?"
"There are manuals. Many booklets on the wild and wonderful world of woman lovin’." Pacey grinned. "There are movies, books, stories, Dawson’s parents…"
"Ugh."
"It’s like common knowledge when you’re straight. I just wondered…how do you know what to do if you’re not."
"A lot of it’s the same. I mean, what feels good when a woman does it for you would feel just as good to me if a man were doing it."
"Blow jobs."
Jack blushed just slightly, taken aback by Pacey’s candor. "Blow jobs, hand jobs, kissing, touching."
"Sex?"
"I’m just going on the hypothetical here," Jack reminded him. "But I figure sex has to feel pretty good or there wouldn’t be so many guys out there doing it."
"What do you…?"
"I don’t know," Jack admitted before Pacey could say any more. "I figured the first guy I was with would know what he was doing and he’d show me the way. Isn’t that part of what made your Miss Jacobs so attractive? Older woman, knew what she was doing."
"Knew what she wanted, which was a little daunting and unnerving."
"Besides there are manuals."
"Gay sex for Dummies?"
"Something like that. And everything there is for the straight world, pretty much has a gay counterpart."
"Straight porn, gay porn?"
"Yup." Jack shrugged. "I guess. Haven’t seen any myself."
Pacey’s grin widened. "Perfect."
"Perfect?"
"We’re going to do a little self-exploration. Er…sort of." He turned the TV on again and flipped through the channels once more until he hit on the screened adult ones. Short shots of whatever movie was playing flickered briefly across the screen. Pacey went through a few until he found exactly what he wanted. "Ta-da."
He hit the button, ordering the movie and settled back against the headboard of his bed. "Man lovin’."
"We’re going to watch gay porn?"
"No," Pacey shook his head. "You’re going to watch gay porn."
"I’m not watching this, Pacey."
"Don’t worry, you won’t be alone. I’m not going anywhere. Although I am going to pretend I’m someplace else. Anyplace else."
"I just…oh." Jack’s attention was caught by the screen. "Okay."
Pacey adjusted the pillow behind his back and closed his eyes. At least until the moaning started.
"Oh God!" Pacey elbowed Jack in the ribs. "Tell me that that doesn’t turn you on. Please? I’m beggin’ here."
"It doesn’t turn me on."
"Good. Because as scared as I am of camping on the streets, I was going to if you said yes."
"Look at the size of that."
"Nothing that size should go near another human being. Male, female…or that wrestling chick person, whatever she actually is."
"Is he gonna…oh shit."
Pacey shivered and clamped his hand over his eyes, peeking out through his fingers. "Did he really just…"
"Yeah."
"Oh God. I’m gonna be sick, Jack."
"Me too." Jack nodded then smiled. "In a minute."
"You so have the hots for that guy."
"I do not."
"You do too. I bet if he walked into the room right now, you’d kick me out on my ass faster than he could say bend over."
"Nice. Very romantic imagery, Pacey. Now shut up."
"You know he’s next in line for that…dick of death."
"Isn’t that the title?"
"No. I think it’s the Cock that ate Cincinnati."
"The Penis that Plundered Pittsburgh."
"The Dick that…oh man," Pacey groaned in sympathy pain. "He’s not sitting down for a year."
"He’s not doing anything for a year. Except maybe lying there and relearning how to breathe."
"That guy is inhuman."
"I think it’s a robot."
"Why would they give a robot a cock that big?"
Jack turned slightly and grinned. "Why not? Wouldn’t you love something like that?"
"Hell," Pacey grinned in return, "I’ve got something like that."
"Yeah, only much, much smaller."
"You’re guy is going down."
"He’s not going to die, he’s the hero."
"No. Literally. Going down. On the killer robot cock of death and destruction."
"He’s going to suck all the energy out of the robot and save the day."
"I don’t think its energy he’s sucking, Jack." Pacey smirked as he noticed Jack’s fascination, his eyes dark as they watched the screen intently. "You’re so hot for him."
"Pacey, I’ve been out for about two years now and before that, my last girlfriend was Joey Potter, lifelong virgin. Before that, it was Kate, who was about two years before Joey. I’m hot for the goddamn robot right now."
"I’ll just move over to my bed then." Pacey grinned, but stayed put. "It’s really been that long?"
"How long you been beating off, thinking about Joey?"
"Yeah, okay. Your blue balls beat mine."
"Shhh." Jack felt a niggling of guilt at bringing up Joey, but the majority of his attention was locked on the short, dark hair that bobbed around the human looking robot’s cock. "Jesus, he’s cute."
"Still think so?" Pacey asked as the actor pulled away, allowing the camera to sweep in on the money shot, robotic come shooting out over his face and chest. As the last of it splashed artistically across him, the robot fell to the ground, allowing Jack’s object of adoration to take command. "He’s not going to be on the bottom much longer."
" Shut up."
"Nope, the robot’s taking the submissive role, whether he wants to or not."
"Pacey…"
Just then, Jack’s actor’s face contorted and changed, turning into some hideous alien beast. Both Jack and Pacey screamed in surprise, then watched in awe, as his cock grew even more impressive than the robot’s had been and wreaked its vengeance. Unable to watch anymore, Pacey snapped off the television. "I don’t think I can watch anymore."
"Hell," Jack nodded. "I don’t think I wanna be gay anymore."
"Note to self, stay the fuck away from gay science fiction porn."
"Note to self, find out who that guy was." Jack smiled at Pacey’s shuddered response. "He was cute until he turned all…"
"Purple and pulsing?"
"He was purple and pulsing?"
"Parts of him were."
Jack lay back on the bed, watching as Pacey shifted uncomfortably. "Thanks."
"For what?"
"Doing that with me. Watching that horrible cinematic piece of trash."
"I think it was even worse than a Dawson Leery production."
"That was worse than a Joe Esterhaus production."
"Hey, he’s the genius behind ‘Showgirls’."
"You know, lesbian porn does less for me than straight porn."
"Huh, go figure. Does wonders for me."
"And how many times have you watched ‘Showgirls’ since you and Joey broke up?"
"Sixty-two. But I’ve been alternating it with real porn and ‘Wild Things’."
"I’m sorry."
"But mostly…" Pacey blushed and broke off, not wanting to discuss it. "Nothing."
"Oh come on, I bared my heart and soul to you. I made you watch scary gay porn. The least I can do is listen to your Joey issues."
"I don’t need the movies," Pacey admitted, lying back beside Jack, both of them staring up at nothing. "All I have to do is think of her. The feel of her skin, the taste of her kisses, the smell of her hair. All I need is that and I’m good to go. The problem is, there’s nowhere to go. And no Joey to go there with."
"Why’d you guys split up?"
"Couldn’t tell you. In the end, I wasn’t sure. I know it wasn’t Dawson. Maybe it was someone else; maybe it was just her. Maybe it was me. Maybe…I don’t know. I just know that I miss her. Which is pretty painful since half the time she’s just a couple of feet away."
"You guys never…?"
"Nope. Not in the house, not on the boat, not in her room…"
"Not with a goat?" Pacey turned his head and cocked his eyebrow at Jack. "Sorry, bad joke."
"Nowhere."
"How far did you go?"
"How far did you get with her?"
"There was some exploration," Jack admitted, obviously embarrassed. "Mostly her exploring me, although I may have done a little myself."
"One night," Pacey’s voice faltered just a little then resumed. "One night, we were lying out on the dock outside the B&B. There weren’t any guests and Bessie and Bodie were out to dinner with Alexander. We were just lying there and there was this warm breeze. Completely unseasonable, but it felt so good. I sat up and I took my shirt off then lay back beside her. Then she sat up and did the same. She wasn’t wearing a bra or a swimsuit or anything. I was just in shock, completely unnerved."
Jack rolled on his side, propping his head in his hands as he listened to Pacey.
"Then she rolled over and climbed on top of me. Bare skin to bare skin. God, it felt like heaven. We just lay there like that for a while, feeling each other. I wrapped my arms around her and held her to me. After a bit, she rolled off and lay on her side, resting her hand on my cock. It was rock hard by then, aching, you know?"
Jack nodded, not knowing if Pacey could see him. "Yeah."
"And it just seemed to pulse beneath her hand, a rhythm that beat in my head. And then she started stroking me. Just running her hand over the material of my shorts, not even touching my skin. Just…" Pacey stopped, his breath caught in his throat. He turned his head to find Jack staring at him, his hand outstretched so that it smoothed over Pacey’s cock. "Jack?"
Jack bent his head and pressed his lips lightly to Pacey’s. Not even a kiss so much as a feathery touch. He pulled back and stared down into the dark blue eyes, stormy and unreadable. "I…"
Pacey reached down and captured Jack’s hand, moving it away from his body. "No."
"I’m sorry."
"No." Pacey sat up as Jack turned away, not willing to meet his eyes. Pacey put a hand on his shoulder and turned him back to face him. "No."
"I get that."
"No. Not no, no. No as in not like that." When Jack didn’t say or do anything, Pacey sighed. "I’m lonely as hell, missing Joey. You’re lonely, wanting someone. If I let you do that, it’ll be something for me, but nothing for you, Jack. I’m not going to use my friend like that."
"I don’t mind."
Pacey’s voice was soft. "I do."
"You could just close your eyes and pretend it was her. I could close my eyes and pretend you wanted me."
"Jack," Pacey ran his hand lightly over Jack’s cheekbone, brushing away an errant tear. "You deserve better than a game of pretend."
"And where am I supposed to get it, huh?" Jack pulled away from Pacey’s light touch. "Where exactly am I supposed to find Mr. Right, when I can’t even find a Mr. Right Now? How am I supposed to find the great love of my life when I can’t even find someone who’ll fuck me?"
"Is fucking what you want, Jack?" Pacey asked him, his voice still measured and controlled. "Because you could go downstairs and probably find it a hundred times over. If that’s what you want."
"I just…I want someone to hold me."
Touching his shoulder again, Pacey gave Jack a long look before pulling him into his arms. "I can hold you, Jack. That’s what friends are for." Tears soaked Pacey’s shirt as he held Jack. "I know it’s tough. Maybe I don’t know exactly how tough, but I know it is."
"I want someone to love me," Jack admitted quietly.
"We all do."
Jack pulled back and looked up at Pacey, his eyes red-rimmed. "Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
"Did that movie turn you on at all?"
"A little maybe, in an odd sort of way." Pacey grinned. "Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
"Why did you ask me to come with you?" When Jack didn’t answer, Pacey’s grin widened. "It didn’t have a damn thing to do with the fact that the actor you were so hot for looks a little like me, did it?"
"No," Jack said with a smile.
"Lying bastard." This time, Pacey was prepared for the feel of Jack’s lips against his. He let the kiss happen, neither encouraging nor discouraging it, allowing Jack to feel his way. Jack’s tongue brushed across his lips in a light caress then he pulled away.
Jack’s hand bridged the distance between them, settling on Pacey’s thigh before it moved higher, brushing his cock. It was hard, though not as erect as it had been. "Do I turn you on at all?"
"A little, in an odd way."
"I want to kiss you again. Will you kiss me back?"
He stared at Jack’s serious face for a long moment before closing his eyes. Taking a deep breath, he opened them and shrugged, moving his hand up to frame one side of Jack’s face. He caressed the skin there with his thumb, unaccustomed to the rough edge of stubble, and brought it closer. "One way to find out."
Jack leaned into the kiss, closing his eyes and parting his lips slightly. Pacey moved in as well, guiding the kiss with the subtle motion of his hand. His lips were parted as well, allowing Jack’s tongue to slip between them.
A shiver of sensation went down Jack’s spine as the kiss deepened, his tongue tangling with Pacey’s as he pushed him down toward the bed. Pacey broke the kiss as Jack guided him to the mattress, laying him out on his back. He lay still, watching as Jack stared at him, his hand stroking Pacey’s chest lightly, acquainting himself with the feel of his warm skin.
With a quick tug, Jack pulled Pacey’s T-shirt from his jeans and pushed it up his body, baring his skin. Pacey closed his eyes, letting Jack explore him. "Pace?"
He nodded without opening his eyes, lifting off the bed enough that Jack could pull off his shirt completely. He lay back down, the cool air warring against Jack’s warm breath on his skin.
Jack stared at Pacey’s body, so supplicant in front of him. He leaned down and trailed tender, nervous kisses down Pacey’s chest and stomach, his tongue trailing through the dark hair that disappeared into his jeans. With trembling fingers, he unfastened Pacey’s belt and jeans then stood on equally shaky legs and tugged on the denim.
Pacey arched his hips, allowing Jack to strip him down to his boxers. He opened his eyes, watching the older boy as he stood at the foot of the bed, looking completely lost. Without speaking, Jack met Pacey’s eyes then stripped down himself, leaving them both with nothing between them other than the thin cotton of their boxers.
Moving back onto the bed, Jack lay down beside Pacey, careful not to touch him. "What are you thinking?"
Pacey chuckled softly. "How monumentally freaked out I should be by this."
"Should be?"
"And how disturbed I sort of am by the fact that I’m…"
"Turned on?" Jack asked hopefully.
"Yeah."
Jack sighed gratefully, his hand reaching out tentatively to stroke Pacey’s cock through his boxers, verifying that Pacey wasn’t lying. "But you’re not…"
"Thinking of someone else?" Pacey grinned; lifting his hips just enough to push up into Jack’s hand. "No. I’m not."
Jack smiled in relief and began stroking Pacey in earnest. He wrapped his fingers lightly around the outline of Pacey’s cock and used the base of his palm to apply light pressure. Pacey closed his eyes and bit his lower lip, moaning softly as Jack pulled away long enough to push the material of Pacey’s boxers down and grasp his cock.
Pacey reached down and grabbed Jack’s hand, easing him away. Without a word, he stood up and kicked off his boxers before lying down once more. Jack’s eyes widened and then he stood and did the same, unable to control the slight tremor in his hands. Moving back beside Pacey, Jack closed his eyes and inched forward until he could feel the hardness of Pacey’s skin, his cock, against his.
The tremor increased to a full-fledged shudder as Pacey lay his hand on Jack’s hip, guiding him even closer, rubbing against him. Jack moaned softly and buried his head in Pacey’s shoulder, thrusting against him. Taking his own cock in his hand, Jack guided the tip along the length of Pacey’s cock, lubricating it, the trail of moisture heightening the friction.
Moving his hand to Pacey’s hip, he smoothed it around until his fingertips grazed the curve of Pacey’s ass, digging lightly for purchase in the smooth flesh. Pacey’s breath stuttered and he arched his hips, his hand pressing against Jack’s hip in response before slipping down and wrapping around Jack’s cock, stroking it hard several times until Jack gasped and lost control.
They both lay there as Jack’s body convulsed, the hot liquid bathing them both. Pacey kept his hand wrapped around Jack; still stroking the firm flesh until Jack pulled away and lay back on the bed. He glanced over at Pacey and blushed at the sight of Pacey’s tanned skin painted with his come. "I’m…"
"Comes with the territory," Pacey reminded him then grinned at his own pun. "I’m gonna shower."
"You’re not mad?"
"Why would I be mad?" Pacey looked honestly confused. "Isn’t that the result we were going for? I mean, maybe you guys do it different, but that’s what the straight people shoot for."
"Most straight people don’t shoot it right at their partner."
"No, they shoot it into their partner." Pacey shrugged. "I don’t know that I’m quite ready for that one yet." He gave Jack a smile, open and sincere. "I’m gonna shower."
"I’ll be here."
"You’re sure? You’re not going to take your newfound skills and rush out and share them with the general populace?"
"Not just yet."
"All right. I’ll save you some hot water."
Jack sat on the edge of the counter, his feet swinging slightly. His boxers clung to certain parts of him, but he’d felt immensely self-conscious walking around with nothing on. "Pace?"
"Yeah?"
"You feel weird?"
"You mean because I just made out with one of my guy friends and then jacked him off? No pun intended."
"Yeah, that’s mostly what I was talking about."
"Do you?" Pacey poked his head out the shower door. When Jack shrugged, he did the same. "I knew when I said yes that this kind of thing might happen, Jack. Is it strange? Yeah. But am I going to start treating you differently? No."
"You say that now."
"I’ll say it tomorrow and the next day too. Look, Jack. This is something we did. It’s just between the two of us and whatever weird camera set up they have in this place. We’re still friends. Maybe better friends, huh? Now that I know a little of what you’re going through."
Jack nodded as Pacey ducked back into the shower. When the water went off, he didn’t bother to look away. Pacey opened the door and grabbed one of the towels, drying himself off. "You okay with this now?"
"I’m probably going to angst about it some more."
"Great. I don’t have enough angst in my life." Pacey wrapped the towel around his waist. "You going in? The water’s fine."
"I suppose."
Pacey stared in the mirror as Jack stepped out of his boxers and got into the shower. He didn’t look different. Wondered briefly if he really expected that he would. Opening the medicine cabinet, his eyes widened in shock. He stayed there until the water quieted in the shower and Jack opened the door. Lifting a few of the "amenities", he held them out to Jack. "What kind of hotel is this exactly, Jackers?"
"You’ve found me out, Pace." Jack gave him a wry smile. "It’s actually a high-class whorehouse slash mind control facility where we brainwash unsuspecting heterosexuals into being good, upstanding gay citizens."
"As I suspected."
Jack walked out of the bathroom, towel around his waist. He adjusted it slightly, working at hiding his body’s reaction to Pacey’s half-naked one. He could see that Pacey was still partially erect and that did nothing toward dampening his excitement. Pacey followed him out of the bathroom and leaned against the doorframe, which caused his towel to fall open a bit.
"So, as far as firsts go, how was I?"
"Based on my experience?" Jack smiled. "Good."
"It’s really not fair that I’m so desirable to both sexes. How do any of the others stand a chance?" Pacey moved to sit next to Jack on the edge of his bed. "Do you feel…I don’t know, gayer?"
Jack couldn’t help but laugh. "Do you?"
"I don’t know how I feel. A little weird. A little embarrassed. A little turned on. Does that make me gay too?"
"You still wanna make Joey scream, sexually speaking?"
"Fuck yeah."
"I’d say you’re safe."
"Brainwashing not working?"
"It takes longer with exceptionally dirty minds."
Pacey laughed and lay back on the bed, watching Jack watch him, amazed at how comfortable he felt. "Does it feel good? To have a little experience under your belt, so to speak?"
"Yeah. I still feel like your typical gay television teen though. Neutered and safe. Hell, let me have a drunken fling with Jen and an HIV boyfriend and you guys’ll have to toss me out of Capeside for running through all the allowable storylines."
"I’m pretty sure that tonight’s activity wouldn’t have made it onto prime time." Pacey reached over and rubbed the small of Jack’s back. "So you’re probably safe from getting kicked out of Capeside."
"Well," Jack leaned back into Pacey’s massage. "That’s a relief." Looking over at Pacey’s now fully hardened cock, Jack inclined his head. "Speaking of relief…"
Pacey stopped Jack’s hand before it touched him, shaking his head. "I have a better…idea?"
Jack’s heart sped up, his own cock hardening, as he searched Pacey’s eyes for meaning. "You?"
"Don’t you?"
"Oh God, I do. But…Do you? Really?"
"I’m willing." Pacey ran his fingers along Jack’s spine. "With a few stipulations."
"Such as?"
"We go slow. Either of us says stop, it’s over." He watched as Jack nodded, hope still bright in his eyes. "And I’m on top."
Jack’s eyebrows shot up. "You’re fucking serious."
"There was some part of me lying here next to you, my dick sticking out of the towel, having this conversation that led you to think I was joking?"
"You want to have sex with me?"
"I’m willing. And ready enough." Pacey shrugged. "I haven't made a lifestyle choice here, but I’m…curious." He looked at Jack, obviously concerned. "Is that okay? Enough? I know this means a lot to you."
Jack lay back and turned on his side, trapping Pacey’s arm under him. "It’s enough."
"Because the first time’s important. Colors your whole perception of sex. Remind me to tell you why any mention of neck muscles…" He broke off as Jack kissed him, ending the nervous babble.
Pulling back, Jack smiled. "Let’s just let whatever happens happen."
Pacey nodded and they both lay back, neither sure of what to do. Laughing, Pacey shifted up, moving to the top of the bed and leaning against the headboard. Jack followed him, sitting next to him as Pacey switched on the TV.
"If there’s another science fiction movie on…" Jack stopped the screen came to life. The movie was quite obviously different and far more evocative. As the story unfolded, a first time love affair, Jack shifted uncomfortably until Pacey reached out without looking and rested his hand on Jack’s thigh, his thumb rubbing a gentle pattern on the hair roughened skin.
Jack relaxed, closing his eyes and enjoying Pacey’s touch. After a few moments, he moved his own hand over to Pacey’s thigh, moving it upward until he had a loose hold on his cock, smoothing over the length of it. Pacey ignored him, focusing on the film, watching the details unfolding on the screen. His hand stopped moving on Jack’s leg as he lost himself in the movie, at least until Jack’s thumb swiped across the tip of Pacey’s shaft.
Lolling his head back, Pacey moaned softly. Jack moved forward, the kiss this time assured and confident. His tongue slipped into Pacey’s mouth, a firm pressure as their bodies moved together. Pacey gasped softly, allowing Jack better access as he slipped his arms around him.
Jack’s hands explored Pacey’s body, more emboldened. Muscles moved differently than he remembered from his experimentations with Kate and Joey, stronger, harder, more assured. Pacey’s hands stayed in the small of Jack’s back, rubbing gently until Jack’s hands moved around, grasping Pacey’s cock. He whimpered softly and Jack immediately pulled away. "What’s wrong?"
"I just…I’m not sure how long I’m going to last if you do that."
"Oh," Jack looked a little lost. "Do you still…"
A tremor ran through Pacey. "Yeah."
Jack nodded, almost gratefully, and slid off the bed, rummaging through his duffel bag. Pacey moved over to the edge to watch him, raising an eyebrow as Jack removed a package of condoms and a tube of lubricant. "You planned on getting’ lucky?"
"Yeah. I just didn’t expect it would be with you."
"Sure. You think I’m a cheap whore."
Jack grinned. "I’m hoping."
Pacey laughed and tugged on his arm, pulling him back toward the bed. Jack joined him eagerly. Pacey took the items from his hands and started to read the back of the tube. At Jack’s look he shrugged. "Nothing sustains the mood like reading the instructions, huh?"
Reaching over and running his hand down the length of Pacey’s cock, Jack smiled as the other boy caught his breath. "I’d rather you got it right."
Pacey unscrewed the cap and grabbed Jack’s hand, emptying some of the contents into his open palm. "You want to help me?"
Jack nodded, watching wordlessly as Pacey slid on one of the condoms. The rustle of the wrapper filled the room as Pacey let it fall to the floor, waiting expectantly. Licking his lips nervously, Jack smoothed the cool gel along Pacey’s length. Pacey’s fingers curled into the sheets as he struggled to breathe in the wake of sensation.
When the entire surface was covered, Jack’s eyes met Pacey’s. "Now what?"
"You’re asking me because I’m the gay sex guru?"
Jack shrugged. "I thought you read the instructions. What do they say to do next?"
"Have sex."
"Ah."
Running his thumb over the opening of the tube, Pacey grinned. "You know, this is really leaning away from the suave, isn’t it?"
Jack laughed. "What are you talking about? I thought we were being dashing."
Laughing as well, Pacey lay back on the bed, reaching out to pull Jack down with him. Without thinking, Jack turned on his side, facing away from Pacey, closing his eyes as Pacey spooned against him, his cock resting lightly against the curve of Jack’s ass.
"Pacey?"
His voice cracked slightly. "Yeah?"
"We don’t…" Jack stopped as he felt Pacey’s hand slide between his thighs, his thumb rubbing lightly against the tight muscle Jack ached for him to penetrate.
"I know," Pacey breathed warmly, applying pressure with the tip of his thumb. Jack’s body shook in response. He bit his lip as Pacey’s finger slid inside him, trying to hold in his groan. "It’s okay," Pacey soothed. "Relax. C’mon. Easy, Jack."
"Relax," Jack gasped. "Right."
Pacey chuckled softly and eased his finger away, moving back slightly. Grasping his own cock, he ran the tip along the cleft of Jack’s buttocks before placing it gently against him. Nipping at Jack’s earlobe, he whispered softly. "You relaxed?"
Jack whimpered in response, pressing back against Pacey.
Pacey moved his hand to Jack’s hip, stilling him, as he thrust forward slightly. Jack was shaking ever so slightly as the pressure against him increased; the tip of Pacey’s sheathed cock slowly penetrating the tight opening. As the first waves of heat from Jack’s body assaulted him, Pacey froze. Jack did the same, the ring of muscle clamping tightly around Pacey, forcing a harsh groan from him.
Pacey’s fingers dug into Jack’s skin as he forced out three quick breaths. "Relax, damn it."
Jack nodded, unsure how to do so. His body felt hot and cold and tight and hard. His own cock had swelled in response to Pacey’s touch and he reached down to touch it. Closing his eyes, Jack began stroking himself, focusing on how Pacey was making him feel as opposed to the feel of Pacey inside him.
Pacey let out a long sigh as Jack’s body seemed to loosen, relax around him. He inched in further, unused to the tightness and strength of the muscles that clenched and squeezed him. It was a mixture of pleasure and pain as Jack’s body reacted to him, pressing toward him. His hand shaking, Pacey slipped it from Jack’s hip down to his thigh and pulled him back further, at last burying his entire length inside him.
Jack hissed sharply between his teeth, his hand tight on his own cock. He was pumping furiously, thrusting back hard against Pacey. Wrapping one leg over both of Jack’s, Pacey used the leverage of the bed to push harder inside him. Whimpers and hisses of pleasure seemed to float in the room around them, neither sure of who was making the soft noises, neither caring. Pacey thrust into him and Jack cried out, bringing Pacey to a stuttering halt.
"You…you okay?" He asked breathlessly.
"Do that again," he begged.
"Oh," Pacey smiled, licking a trail of sweat from Jack’s neck. "Is that all." He repeated the move again and again, watching as Jack masturbated, matching his rhythm. As Jack grew closer to completion, Pacey could feel the muscles surrounding him tighten almost unbearably, and he leaned forward to whisper to Jack. "You gonna have a problem with me coming inside you?"
Jack groaned and came in response to the comment, thick milky liquid pooling on the bedspread in front of him. Jack’s body convulsed and Pacey grunted, thrusting his orgasm deep inside Jack’s tight passage. As soon as he was spent, Pacey eased away from Jack.
Jack turned over and watched as Pacey got off the bed, heading for the bathroom. He followed him, watching as he disposed of the condom and cleaned himself off. "You okay?"
"Shouldn’t I be asking you that question?"
Pacey tilted his head and grinned, moving up to Jack. "Hey, I volunteered for this duty."
"Doesn’t mean you enjoyed it."
Rolling his eyes, Pacey placed his hand on the back of Jack’s neck and brought him closer, kissing him soundly. After a few moments he pulled away and raised an eyebrow. "I enjoyed it, okay?"
Jack licked his lips and nodded. "Okay."
Pacey moved past him and dug through the pile of clothes on the floor for his boxers. Pulling them on, he sat on his own bed and patted the space beside him. "What do you say we watch a real movie?"
"Real? As in with heterosexual sex?"
"Real as in plot, story, acting… Oh wait. Does Hollywood make those anymore?"
"Not really, but we can probably find something close." Jack tugged his own boxers on and sat next to Pacey, surprised at how comfortable it all was. "Maybe ‘Usual Suspects’ or ‘L.A Confidential’?"
"Or ‘Fargo’."
Jack nodded and reached for the remote, flipping through the channels and looking for something to watch. Pacey got up and turned off the light before returning to the bed, settling down comfortably. Jack gave him a quick glance. "We’re gonna be all right, aren’t we?"
Pacey looked up at him and smiled, a cock-eyed grin full of knowledge and humor. "Yeah. We’re gonna be fine."
"We gonna do this again?"
"Already? Aren’t you tired?"
Jack laughed and settled more comfortably on the bed. "Goodnight, Pacey."
"Night, Jack."