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Tru Luv Fanfiction |
Choices Make Us
by: Aunty Mib
Pacey swaggered up to the door of the cafeteria. The banner over the door said, "Abandon all Hope, all ye who enter here."
He thought, 'Considering that I'm in hell, things aren't that bad.'
I've been a bit player in the Joey/Dawson soap opera for far too long. Twenty kids said 'hi' to me today. I wouldn't have even noticed that last year.
Let's face it. Joey and Dawson are high maintenance. Being Dawson is a full-time job for Dawson and anyone else around him. You get cast in his little 'movies' and get handed a script. If you don't like your lines he throws a hissy fit.
And Joey, ay yi yi!
After a certain point, your decisions make you. "If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice." (I got that from a Rush album.)
Isn't Jack high maintenance as well?
Let me think about that for a sec. Over the last year or so he's whined about: 'how tough it is to be a gay teen', 'will I ever find a boyfriend', 'Ethan is so cold to me', and 'that two-timing bitch broke my heart.'
He hasn't really complained about anything for the last month or so.
It's kind of scary being someone else's White Knight. I don't think that there are any problems in my life that he's actually solved but he has made things better.
That's even scarier. Sure, my parents hate me but Jack loves me. They tell me that I'm worthless and stupid. He tells me I'm wonderful. Who do I believe?
I want to scream, I want to cry, and I want to laugh.
Jack loves Pacey. Pacey loves Jack. All's right in the world.
Come on. I even wrote 'Pacey Witter sucks cock' all over the washroom stall. Pre-emptive strike, I guess. I looked at it and tried to feel ashamed. I changed it to 'Pacey Witter sucks cock and loves it.'
What's a boy to do?
Joey and Dawson are posing for a L.L. Bean catalogue over in the corner. They're sitting by themselves. Joey is hand-feeding Dawson french fries.
Barf!
If Jack and I EVER look that lame, someone please shoot us.
I look at her and wait for the pain.
Nothing.
Joey is an absolutely hot chick. She's smart and pretty and gentle. She dumped you and humiliated you.
And I ran directly to Jack's arms. I ought to be her a drink.
OK. Dawson. Dawson was my best friend for years. He is arrogant, conceited, self-centered and back-stabbed me to get Joey.
Back up to the part about being best friends. Why?
Jack would swim through a river of broken glass for me. He'll tell me when I'm full of shit without making me feel like a piece of shit.
I looked at them. They pretended not to see me. So obvious.
I looked over at the line-up and Jack was there.
I guess sometimes your choices make you.
Jack waited in the cafeteria line-up. He didn't think that it was possible but the food looked even more gross this year.
School wasn't that bad this year.
By the time Pacey and I were 'together' it was too late to change our courses this semester. Pacey and I have our two afternoon classes together already: English and Chemistry. For the morning: Trig is trig, nothing could make that better or worse, and I can hang out with Henry and Jen during Study Hall.
I have no problems with heterosexuals as long as they act gay in public.
This year looks great. Even if we don't stay a couple, we're sure to stay friends. I look around the cafeteria. Why aren't more of the Buffy episodes happening in the cafeteria? The lighting alone makes most of the crowd look like the cast of Night of the Living Dead, the one with Jamie Lee.
Yep, hanging around with Pacey and Doug have definitely broadened my knowledge of movies. Doug is such an absolute fag. We're going to have to fix him up with someone. I think I still have Ben's e-mail address somewhere.
Pacey walks through the door. I wave hi to him. He doesn't see me.
I look over at what he's looking at. It's Joey, looking cute.
Damn, damn, DAMN!!!
I ought to have known that this was far to good to be true. When will I ever learn. Any second he's gonna walk right over to her and sit down and everything will be back to the way things used to be.
He turned away from her and looks directly at me. He smiles and waves hi and heads over to me. This smile is one that he only has for me. He didn't smile for her.
He comes over and says, "There you are. Let's play this year's first round of "Guess the Mystery Meat". The winner receives free pizza for a month."
He's a nut. I smile back at him and we get into line.
I can't believe that I'm the one for him. I guess sometimes you have to give up on all of your beliefs and go with what you know.
This is gonna be a great year.