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Tru Luv Fanfiction |
Keeping Up Appearances
by: Rolymurp
Pacey leaned into the freezer, inhaling the cold air despite the discomfort it caused his throat. He bent slightly at his waist to rest his forehead on the upper shelf, willing himself to maintain the relaxed demeanor he’d been showcasing for the last half hour since Joey and Dawson’s unexpected arrived.
“Taking a nap, Pace?”
“Huh?” He glanced to the side without moving, and saw Joey approaching him. She leaned against the wall next to the fridge, tilting her head so that their eyes were at the same level.
“It may feel nice, but freezing your brain cells is a surefire way of killing them, and I don’t think you really have any to spare.” She remarked, half-grinning at him.
“Don’t worry about my brain cells, Potter, they’re mostly dead already. I’ve been feeding them beer since we got here.” He snapped, pulling away from the freezer and shutting the door.
“Drowning your sorrows?” She asked, her smile fading.
He walked around the island, putting himself on the other side of it, putting it between them. “I was just kidding. We haven’t been drinking at all."
“I’m impressed.” She said flatly, clearly not enjoying the stilted small talk they were making.
“Don’t be,” He said, grimacing. “I’m only staying sober because I couldn’t convince any liquor store proprietors to sell to me. Otherwise, the house would be strewn with empty cans, I’m sure.”
“Guess that’s ruining your spring break.” She commented. He shrugged, not looking at her. “I suppose it’s only fitting that I showed up; I can muck it up even more for you.”
“Jo,” He began, sounding tired.
“I’m sorry that we came unannounced. It’s just that neither of us were doing anything, and Gretchen was really busy with work, so Dawson thought that-“
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me, Jo. We were all invited. I think it’s good that you decided to come.”
She moved toward him. “Are you happy to see me, at least?” She asked sadly, studying his face.
“Of course I’m happy to see you.” He answered automatically, without emotion.
“It’s just that you said you needed space, and I want to give that to you.” She explained.
“It’s a big house. You stay on your side, I’ll stay on mine.” He proposed, straight-faced.
She looked up, stricken, until he nudged her shoulder, indicating that it was a joke. She chuckled softly. “Do you want to get some tape so we can put a line down the center of it?”
He smiled briefly at her joke but didn’t laugh. She looked down at the floor, sighing.
“Hey, Jo!” Dawson called, sticking his head into the kitchen. She spun around to face him. “Jack’s giving me the grand tour. Do you want to see the rest of the house?”
She turned her head from him to look at Pacey, silently begging him to offer to take her later. He was staring out the window at the shoreline, ignoring Dawson, and her gaze.
“I’ll be right there, Dawson.” She told him, frowning. He walked away shaking his head and she turned back to Pacey.
“Is this how it’s going to be all week?” She asked, annoyed.
“I guess we’ll have to see.” He answered.
She nodded, pursing her lips. “Fine.”
As she was walking through the doorway, Pacey’s baritone sounded behind her. “So, how was the ride up with Master Leery? Did he give you kudos for losing the excess baggage that was me?” He asked, bitterness and sarcasm lacing his tone.
She walked back into the room. “So this is how it’s going to be.” He held her gaze, nodding almost imperceptibly. “You know that he could care less that we’re not together. In case you hadn’t noticed, he’s thoroughly engrossed in your sister.” She pointed out, clearly irritated.
“That bother you?”
“That he’s with Gretchen?” Pacey nodded. “Haven’t we had this conversation before? You know I don’t care, though I am happy for him. And I’m relieved. It makes me feel less guilty that we’re together.” She frowned again. “Excuse me, that we were together.”
He stared at the floor. “I was just checking. Things could have changed.”
She walked over to stand in front of him. “They haven’t.” She whispered. “Not for me, at least.”
He lifted his head and briefly locked onto her intense gaze. His expression seemed to soften slightly, his guard dropped.
“Jo, are you coming?” Dawson suddenly shouted out from the next room, breaking the trance they were in.
Pacey drew back from her, turning away. “I guess I’ll see you later.”
“Okay.” She nodded, fighting back tears as she hurried out of the kitchen.
“I knew Jen knowing was going to come in handy.” Pacey remarked to Jack as the Saab crunched over the gravel of the driveway. “If I didn’t get out of the house soon, I was going to spontaneously combust.”
Jack smiled back at him as they hit the street. “I know. It really freaked me out when they showed up. Are you okay?” He asked, concerned.
“I honestly don’t know. I’m too pissed off to figure out any of my other feelings.”
“You’re really that angry that they showed up?”
“Ah, it’s not just that. It’s that they came together. It’s that he’s been shooting me these annoying, smug looks since he got here. It’s that Joey is either perfectly sweet to me or perfectly nasty.” He sighed loudly. “I just thought I was going to get a break from all of that here.”
“Well, we’ve got a break right now.” Jack observed.
“Yeah, I guess we do.” Pacey concurred, dropping a hand on Jack’s knee and leering at him.
They sped off toward town, heading for the video store to rent some movies to watch that night. Both Pacey and Jack had been surprised when Jen had insisted that the two of them go alone while she, Dawson and Joey made dinner. Dawson had whined about not getting to select the videos, since he was the one who’d thought to bring a DVD player.
“So, how long are we actually going to spend picking out flicks?” Pacey asked, inching his hand up Jack’s leg.
“I’ll just grab the first two I see, okay? And then we can take twenty minutes or so to talk about how to handle this.”
Pacey retracted his hand suddenly, as if he’d been burned. “You want to talk? All we’re going to be able to do for the rest of the week is talk.” He complained.
“What do you want to do? Pull off the road and have sex in the bushes?”
“Nothing like that, Jack. We don’t even have to leave the car for what I was thinking.” He smirked.
“Very tempting. But I think it’s more important that we figure out how to deal with Dawson and Joey showing up. You know, to make sure they don’t catch on.”
“Jack, they won’t catch on because there won’t be anything to catch on to. Well, as long as you don’t grope me when we’re all in the hot tub, that is. Think you can handle that?”
“Can you?” Jack asked.
“Sure. Now let’s discuss where we’re going to pull over.”
Jack turned into the parking lot, smoothly pulling into a spot. He touched Pacey’s arm to keep him from leaving. “You know,” He said, raising his eyebrows. “If we’re careful, we could keep meeting in my room. You just wouldn’t sleep in there.” He suggested.
Pacey began to look uneasy. “I don’t know about that, Jack. In the house? With everybody down the hall? I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“Why not? If you wait until everyone’s asleep to come to my room and sneak out afterwards, nobody will find out.”
“I guess.” Pacey said, looking down. Suddenly, he reached for the door again. “Let’s just get the movies.” He said, climbing out of the car.
Jack glanced up through the moonroof, sighing at the sight of the stars and the sensation of Pacey’s tongue running along his hardened cock. He looked down at his lap again and threaded his fingers through Pacey’s hair as the other boy swallowed his entire length.
“Oh, god,” He gasped. Headlights passed by and he straightened up. “You’re sure nobody will see us?”
Pacey replacing his mouth with his hand, stroking the moistened shaft. “Jeez, Jack. Haven’t you ever made out in a car before?” He ran his thumb over the tip, eliciting a shudder from him. “I suppose if you’re really concerned, I could stop.” He suggested, poising his lips over the tip and lashing his tongue out at it.
“No, I’m fine,” Jack acquiesced, groaning as Pacey’s mouth enveloped him again. He leaned his head back against the seat and closed his eyes.
They had pulled off the road and parked behind some bushes, as per Pacey’s suggestion. Jack hadn’t been entirely comfortable with the idea, but had found it hard to object when Pacey had quickly thrown off his seat belt and virtually dove at him, kissing him roughly as he unzipped him. They were both aware of the fact that they didn’t have a lot of time.
Jack moaned, surprised once again by how skilled Pacey’s mouth and tongue were on him. For someone who’d done this for the first time only a few days earlier, he was pretty gifted. He chuckled at that thought, at how inconceivable this whole situation was. He was getting head from one of the most seemingly hetero guys he knew, while the guy’s ex-girlfriend was only a few minutes away. Not that he was complaining.
He leaned forward slightly and reached beneath Pacey’s chest, stretching his arm to find his erection, impossibly hard beneath the fly of his jeans. He rubbed it roughly through the fabric, Pacey’s position making it difficult to do much more than that.
He heard Pacey groan at the contact, the noise in his throat sending vibrations through Jack’s cock. Jack gasped again at this and lifted his hips, thrusting slightly into Pacey’s mouth as the familiar sensation began to seize him. His hand went back to Pacey’s head, curling into his hair. Pacey smiled up at him quickly and engulfed him completely again as Jack climaxed, falling forward onto the steering wheel, panting.
Pacey sat up, ruffling Jack’s hair as he licked his earlobe. “You all right, there, Jack?” He teased.
Jack turned his head to kiss him, wrapping a hand around his neck. “That was…That was really…” He trailed off.
“I’ll bet.” Pacey answered, smiling as he leaned in to kiss him again. He found Jack’s other arm and pulled it to his crotch, pressing himself against the palm of Jack’s hand. Jack unzipped him, grasping his cock inside his boxers and freeing it from the material.
Pacey gasped, then chuckled. “Not that I’m trying to rush you, or anything…” He explained.
“I know.” Jack said, nodding. He stilled his hand on Pacey’s shaft. “I was thinking that maybe instead of returning the favor, we could,” he smiled, looking up at Pacey’s curious face. “Take things a little bit further?” He suggested.
“You want to have sex in the car?” Pacey asked, surprised and excited. “But wouldn’t that be uncomfortable? In a couple of ways?”
Jack grinned sheepishly and dug his hand in his pocket, bringing out a tube of lubrication and handing it to him.
Pacey’s look of shock faded into a devilish smirk. “So, you were just planning on talking after our video store errand? I suppose you carry this around all the time?”
“If there’s a possibility, I want to be ready for it.” Jack shrugged.
“This still doesn’t take care of the problem of space.” Pacey pointed out.
“We don’t have to stay in the car, do we?”
Pacey laughed. “I knew you wanted to have sex in the bushes. Why else would you have said it?” He opened his door and stepped outside.
Jack joined him on the passenger side and drew him over to the hood, sitting back on it as he pulled him into a kiss. His hands drifted down Pacey’s sides, finally converging on his still exposed shaft, now engorged with anticipation. He crouched down, settling on his knees as he pushed Pacey’s jeans down to his thighs and took his cock into his mouth, reaching around and grasping his ass to steady himself as he felt Pacey’s knees pin him to the car.
Pacey stared down at Jack’s lips, sliding over and off of his shaft repeatedly in the dim starlight. He placed a hand on top of his head, running his fingers through his dark hair, gripping some of the strands softly. Experimentally, he started guiding Jack’s motions, controlling the length he took in, thrusting lightly into his mouth. Jack looked up at him, somewhat confused, but not bothered by it. Encouraged and more aroused by the reaction, Pacey took Jack’s head in both hands, completely directing just how Jack gave him head. After a minute, he stepped back, allowing Jack to stand and take the tube from his hand.
“Feeling a little dominant, Pacey?” He asked casually as he dispensed some of the cool liquid and warmed it in his hands before smoothing it over Pacey’s cock.
“Maybe. Is that a problem?” Pacey asked evenly, staring at him as he leaned forward to unbutton Jack’s pants and push them down his legs.
Unsure of his answer, Jack stood still, relaxing as he felt Pacey glide his hands over his ass, pulling him into a kiss.
“Is it a problem?” Pacey asked again.
“No.” Jack breathed.
Pacey nodded slightly and clamped his hands on Jack’s shoulders, turning him toward the car. He grasped his hips as Jack leaned forward over the hood and placed his palms on the metal.
Jack glanced back at Pacey as he felt his hand slide between his cheeks, slowly brushing against the tight muscle while he guided his cock to it with his other hand. He pressed into him tentatively, only burying the tip before he began to pull out again, then following it with a slightly deeper push, thrusting and withdrawing slowly, taking his time before completely sinking into him. Roused by Jack’s moaning, he began to drive himself in swiftly and forcefully, gasping at the sting he felt when his testicles slapped against Jack’s ass. He leaned over him and wrapped his arms around his torso, pulling him back from the hood into a standing position as he thrust harshly up into him and sucked at his neck, groaning deeply against the hot skin.
Jack cried out at the sensation Pacey’s cock was causing in him, teetering on that edge between pleasure and pain. When Pacey slowed his motions, concerned, Jack reached around to his ass and pressed him into him again as a reassurance, not wanting the feeling, indiscernible as it was, to stop. He broke out of Pacey’s embrace and leaned back on the hood, this time lying completely on top of it as Pacey’s cock lunged into him. He slipped his hand down to his own crotch and began to stroke himself softly as he noticed Pacey’s grunts taking on the now-familiar rhythm. Pacey continued thrusting and leaned forward over Jack again, murmuring incoherently into his ear before drawing back as he came.
They dressed quietly and slipped back into the car, kissing briefly as Jack started it. He drove the long road to the house slowly, thinking that they should at least speak again before going inside.
“So, what was up with you before?” He asked. “I had no idea you were like that.” He chuckled, trying to pass it off as a light-hearted comment.
“I’m not usually.” He answered thoughtfully. “Did it bother you?”
“No. It just surprised me, that’s all.”
“Me, too.” Pacey remarked.
“Maybe it was psychological, or something.” Jack suggested.
“What do you mean?” Pacey asked, suspicious.
“You know, Dawson and Joey show up and you have no control over it, so you...”
“Control you?” Pacey asked. “I don’t think those two things necessarily have anything to do with each other. It was just an impulse.” He argued, a little too sharply.
“I didn’t mean anything by it. I was just thinking aloud.” Jack protested. He was somewhat unnerved by Pacey’s attitude. He tried to maintain his relaxed attitude. “Maybe in my room tonight you’ll let me take a turn at being in charge.” He suggested, smiling.
Pacey was silent.
“Pace?”
“Yeah, maybe.” Pacey said softly. “We’ll see.”
The sharp ticking of his watch seemed to echo through the stillness of the entire house. Pacey sighed and glanced at it again, not moving from his seat against the headboard of his bed. It was 1:25am, over an hour from the time that the five of them had climbed out of the hot tub to call it a night and Jack had covertly whispered to Pacey to wait an hour or so before coming. He was probably already expecting him, but Pacey found himself unable to get up.
He wasn’t reading to pass the time, he hadn’t even changed into any sort of pajamas. He was just propped up on the bed in his jeans, trying to convince himself to meet Jack like he promised he would. The whole idea had made him nervous from the beginning, but now that he was faced with actually going, he found himself hesitant, almost paralyzed. And he was trying to get his mind around just what was causing that.
He knew that it wasn’t the fear of being caught that stopped him. It was only the day before that he’d felt such a strong conviction that it was his life, and he could do what he wanted, and who cared what anyone else thought? And even if he was worried about being found out, the chances that anyone would get up and come looking for them were virtually nonexistent. Jen knew better, Dawson didn’t care and Joey…well Joey was just trying to stay out of his way.
After managing to avoid her for most of the afternoon, the first thing he saw when he stepped inside that night was Joey, smiling shyly at him, blissfully unaware of where he’d just been, of what he’d been doing. Then they’d all settled down to watch the movies, and every time he glanced over at her, she was looking back at him, that same sweet, uncertain smile on her face. He could see her every emotion in that smile. She was hurt, and confused, and hopeful. And he knew that she was waiting for him to realize that their love was stronger than anything else, and that he needed to go back to her. Every time he looked at her face he felt suddenly, overpoweringly, nauseous. For the last two days, she had sat at home in Capeside, wanting nothing more than to have him back, and he was out here fucking Jack. A guy. One of their best friends. And that feeling was lower than any of the guilt he’d experienced over falling in love with her last year.
The remorse seemed to come from out of nowhere. When she’d arrived that afternoon, he’d been so irritated at Dawson’s presence, not to mention her apparent chumminess with him, that he was desperate to get away from both of them and get Jack alone somewhere. The last thing he was concerned about was anyone else’s feelings. But that blind anger had only sustained him for a few hours. When he and Jack returned from the video store and their roadside excursion, the whole situation suddenly hit him full force. What he was doing to her was unforgivable. It was bad enough that he’d been screwing Jack before she got there, but to do it when she was just down the road was detestable. Not to mention the fact that he’d been a complete ass to her when she tried to talk to him, as if he had any right to be rude to her. In the moment he’d seen her face and the hours that followed when he caught her gazing at him across the room, everything had been put into perspective for him. There was no way he could go to Jack now. Not with Joey in the house, not when he knew how much she was hurting.
The matter settled in his mind, Pacey climbed off the bed and strode to his bag, unzipping his pants before he bent over to grab a clean T-shirt to wear to bed. He was stepping out of his jeans when a knock at his door startled him. He swore under his breath, realizing that he wasn’t going to be able to lie to Jack about accidentally falling asleep like he’d planned. Now he was going to have to fess up, and see the hurt in Jack’s face when he told him. He leaned on the foot board with his hand and attempted to look nonchalant.
“Yeah,” He called softly.
The door opened slowly and Joey stepped in. “Pace?” She asked, looking over at him.
“Hey!” He greeted her, surprised.
She gasped and looked down, blushing. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know that you were…” She trailed off, giggling slightly.
Pacey squinted at her for a moment in confusion, until he realized that he was only wearing his boxers. Joey hadn’t seen him so scantily clad in a while.
“Let me throw something on.” He suggested, pulling the shirt over his head. He sat back on the bed, covering his legs and waist with the blanket. “I was changing and, uh..” He trailed off. “What are you do-…What’s up?” He asked suddenly, trying to change the subject.
“Is this a bad time?” She asked.
“Not at all. Did you want to talk about something?”
She shut the door and moved toward the bed, standing next to it. “I saw your light on and I just, well, I wanted to ask you something. I mean, I don’t want to bother you..” She fidgeted with the bedspread.
“Jo? Please sit down.” She smiled and sat on the end of the bed, her back against the foot board. “You’re not bothering me. I swear.”
“I just wanted to apologize again for showing up like this. I feel like I’m breaking an unwritten rule. You know, that only one of us should have come. I just don’t want you to be mad at me.” She stared down at her lap as she spoke.
“I already told you not to feel bad. It’s not as if I have dibs on the house. I know it’s awkward for us to be around each other right now, but that doesn’t mean that you should have to spend your break bored at home.” She nodded, still looking down. “And Jo?” He reached for her hand, holding it in both of his. She looked up at him, surprised at his gesture and the apparent change in disposition he’d had since that afternoon. “I’m really happy that you came.”
She grinned and nodded at him again, not breaking his gaze until he released her hand. She cleared her throat. “So, it looks like you three have been having a good time here.” She remarked.
“The hot tub’s pretty cool.” He said, shrugging. Internally he winced, thinking about the night before with Jack.
“You and Jack seem to be pretty tight.”
He lifted his head, staring at her in alarm. “What?” He croaked, then coughed. “Why would you say that?” He asked, trying to keep his voice even. He remembered how he’d laughed at Jack the night before for doing the same thing and silently cursed at himself.
“You know, just how you two were goofing around when Dawson and I showed up. And going to get the videos…It just looks like you two are having a good time together.”
“Well, yeah, I guess. I mean, we’re only hanging out so much because Jen blew us off for that guy.” He explained, somewhat defensively.
Joey didn’t notice. “It makes me feel like such a jerk, Pacey. I mean, I’ve been keeping you from our friends all year.” Shock registered on Pacey’s face. “It’s bad enough that you lost Dawson. But you probably could have seen more of Jack and Jen this year if I hadn’t been monopolizing so much of your time.”
He laughed briefly. “Joey, that’s crazy. We’ve all been busy this year. I had those extra classes to take, and you had your job. Jack’s been getting into and out of relationships and Jen had that community service stuff. And it’s not as if everyone was calling us to get together and we were turning them down. I refuse to let you take the blame for the fact that I’m not as close with our friends as I should be. It’s just the way things are.” He sighed. “What matters now is spending as much time together as we can before college comes along to rip us all apart.”
Joey grimaced at him. “Please don’t talk about college. It’s the last thing I want to think about on vacation.”
“That’s the last time I’ll even say the word.” He promised, smiling at her.
She smiled back at him, somewhat sadly. It was driving her crazy that they could have a nice moment like this when they were broken up. She thought they were supposed to hate each other, but this felt comfortable. It felt right. And it made it so much harder to deal with the fact that they were apart.
Sensing her mood, Pacey reached for her, placing his hand on her knee. “Hey, Jo, are you all right?”
She dropped her face into her hands. “No,” She answered, her voice muffled. “I’m not.”
Pacey sighed guiltily as he moved to the other end of the bed, embracing her as she began to cry in earnest. “I’m sorry, Jo. I’m a jerk. I’m so sorry.” He whispered.
She didn’t respond, sobbing quietly into her hands, refusing to hug him back. With some difficulty, he pulled her into his lap, holding her head against his neck. He stroked her hair, murmuring apologies as he planted kisses on her forehead.
She broke away from him abruptly, wiping at her face as she climbed off the bed. “I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to do that.”
“It’s all right, you don’t have to get up.”
“No, I should go. I didn’t want to be like this.” She sniffled. “I just,…really miss you, Pacey.”
He stood up and went to hug her, his hands tangling in her hair. “I miss you, too.” Slowly, he released her, reaching down to take her hand. “Come here.” He said, drawing her to the bed.
She shook her head. “I shouldn’t. I’m intruding...”
“No, you’re not.”
She looked at the floor, not moving.
“Potter?” She tilted her head up to face him as he gently took hold of her arms. “Please?” She dipped her chin in a gesture of compliance. He sat her down and walked around to the other side of the bed, drawing back the blankets. “You should be here.” He stated, as much to himself as to her. His eyes met hers again. “I want you here.”
She climbed in to lay next to him, still crying softly, and let him pull her to his chest. She closed her eyes and listened to his heartbeat, sighing. “Pace?”
“Yeah?” He asked, shutting off the light.
“I love you.”
He brushed some hair off of her forehead and held his palm to the side of her face, kissing the top of her head. “I love you, too, Jo.”
Jack awoke with a start, kicking his legs and jerking his hands up in the air, the motion causing him to throw his watch across the bed. He blinked rapidly and shook his head. What the hell was I doing? He looked around the room, trying to get his bearings.
The light on his night table was still on, and he’d been sleeping sitting up against the headboard, holding his watch for some reason. He glanced to his side and the empty space on the bed next to him and remembered now how he fell asleep.
Pacey was supposed to meet him, and he never came. Or maybe he came and found Jack sleeping, so he left. But how late would he have had to come for that to happen? Jack vaguely remembered still being up around two and, according to his watch, it was now ten minutes to five in the morning.
He slipped off the bed and crept out into the hall, leaving his door slightly ajar to light his way. Although the hallway was mostly dark, he noticed a sliver of light peeking around the corner, and he bypassed Pacey’s room next door to investigate it.
Joey’s door was also cracked open, which was where the light was coming from. He pushed it open delicately, wondering if she’d also fallen asleep with the light on. The empty bed told him that wasn’t the case. Maybe she’s in the bathroom, he thought to himself, pushing aside the nagging voice that reminded him that he’d just passed the bathroom, and it was dark, the door wide open.
She could be downstairs getting a glass of water or even watching TV. It’s not inconceivable that she might be having trouble sleeping, he repeated to himself as he tiptoed toward Pacey’s door, trying to convince himself that his fears weren’t being confirmed, that he wasn’t that much of an idiot.
He steeled himself as he reached for the doorknob, a momentary surge of relief passing through him as it effortlessly turned to give him entry. If anything untoward was going on in there, he wouldn’t have left the door unlocked, Jack was sure. He smiled, pausing. Pacey had accidentally fallen asleep and Joey was downstairs and this whole evening was not going to end up being another pathetic episode in the comedy of errors that was his life.
He pushed the door in, chuckling softly at the sound of Pacey’s snoring and glanced up at the bed, the relative dimness of the room unable to hide the figures who slept there. Sighing, Jack shut the door carefully and padded back to his room, closing the door behind him and shutting off the light. He stumbled to the bed in the sudden darkness and buried himself beneath the covers.